Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (Full Version)

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LadyPact -> Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/8/2009 6:15:17 PM)

I always have to start with that disclaimer any time I write something related to My penis.

Here's another disclaimer.  I took this quote entirely out of context.  I'm afraid I don't have the author's permission to use it, but hopefully, she won't mind as I want to get some discussion going.

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

.......One reason I now rarely frequent the Ask My Penis (sorry, Ask A Mistress) section......



When I first read this particular line not long ago, I thought it was rather funny.  I have to admit, I still do.  Then again, I have to wonder if it's becoming more and more true.

During the course of clip's movement from one location to another within theater, he has had internet access, but that doesn't include to certain sites like CM.  Since his ability to participate here has been limited, I've been discussing topics with him via IM.  I've always encouraged him to try to learn from these forums.  All different types of topics and different people's styles, whether they were like My own or not.  I also want him to see different perspectives.  Often, I'll direct him to one thread on this board, one in the submissive section, and then a third on either the general or the poly board.

This isn't working so well in our coverage of the threads for this section.  I'm not saying we don't have some good threads here.  We obviously do.  However, many of them quickly spiral away from discussions related to female Domination dynamics and become more focused on males.  Over a third of our current threads on the first page of the forum are more about the male orgasm or male sexuality more than anything else.

How focused do you think the questions on this particular forum are leaning more toward male sexuality or fetishes of males, rather than topics related to BDSM or authority structured dynamics?  Have we slipped a little bit in our corner of the CM world?  If we are falling short here, and you had prior been using these boards as an education tool, what do you think you'd use to replace it?  (Please keep in mind, I can not send him books, files he can download, or kink related sites of any kind.)  Do you see this forum still as an educational tool?

Thank you for your time.



Lucienne -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/8/2009 6:23:22 PM)

Um... maybe it's just me, but I normally feel like I have a relationship with my partner's penis that's somewhat distinct from my relationship with my partner. Usually, his penis and I conspire against him. And I like it that way.



AcademyForSlaves -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/8/2009 6:32:03 PM)

Hi.

When I was shown this forum by some Mistresses I share subs with I did think it was more male dom, about fetishes, and ok some guys posting topics to get their rocks off, but as you stick around you do see lots of people posting here are serious and they ask really good questions. And I love reading everybody's answers because everyone has a different view. Lots to learn by and no one ever stops learning. Growth is important and no I'm not talking about penis growth. ha ha. I'm talking about how all of us should be willing to learn, accept other peoples differences, and want to learn and grow. Earth is a school. So I guess you could say bdsm is a way to learn too. A way to learn about your self, your fetishes, and submission and dominance.

Hope this helps.



Lockit -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/8/2009 6:43:38 PM)

Great topic Lady Pact! I need a break from my day, but I want to try to post on this when my brain cells are more active. For some reason I am getting hung up on this one. lol



homedespot -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/8/2009 6:56:58 PM)

I am not sure this answers your question exactly, though I am trying to remain on topic...I'm also a little tired...however:

I believe that the Domme/sub handbook was written by male submissives. I believe that 3/4 of the posts in the Mistress section and 1/3 of the posts in the Submissives section are wrong-headed either because the men or women are new or because they have memorized the rulebook so completely that they are unable to break away from it. I believe the D/s handbook is full of pictures of very hot pro-Dommes dressed in leather with captions like "you've been a bad, bad boy and I'm going to make you very sorry, now come here and lick my hot sexy thigh-high boots and then I'll jerk you off you naughty thing".

Now I realize that my power exchange is rather more exchangy (I like that new word, exchangy) then many, though not all. But somehow many people seem to miss some important basic points like...it's about what I (the Mistress) wants. Not about what you (not the Mistress) wants. That means that I want things like the litter box cleaned, my dishwasher emptied, my clothes ironed and I want it all done while I sit on the couch in my pj's and read...and not things like I want to dress up in latex and wander around beating you with my hot sexy crop while you wear panties with a dog tail sticking out that big dildo listening to the click click click of my 6 inch stilettos on the tile floor.

I think many of the questions here, especially from women, are trying to figure out what the rules are and it takes a great deal of time to figure out that the rules are what you want them to be and you can throw out the handbook entirely.

So yes, I think the forum here can be "leaning more toward male sexuality or fetishes of males" and it can be tough to use as an educational tool.

As for your other question...if you can't send him books, sites, or files...how can he come to CM? Were you aware you can send links and files via IM?

J.



Lockit -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/8/2009 7:32:18 PM)

I have used the message boards and even some chat rooms I knew about when I wanted to address a topic with someone and wanted to get them thinking about things before we talked things out. I have learned here and sometimes it is two learning some things together. I don't have a lot of experience with the kink side of things. The dominance has been lifelong, although there are many things I don't know there too.

I do think that we might consider a more proactive role in bringing topics to light or starting things becasue it does seem that we are more reactive at times and responding to threads started by people who are new or focused on things that go in one direction. I have a hard time in this area because I don't have a lot of kink experience and am not sadist, so I am so mild in things that it is hard to think of topics... plus I do not have an on going relationship with someone and that limits things too. Then I struggle with sharing what I do have going on at different times and whether to post about some things.

What if a number of people helped out LP? Like maybe blogged about things through email or something? Would something like that work?



kccuckoldmist -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/8/2009 7:51:25 PM)

It is a forum for people to discuss stuff and ask questions and not anything more. I do not particularly enjoy reading one sexual fetish question after another but I have just the same amount of interest replacing those with one with threads made up of 5,000 ways to spoil me, more pointless, boring and probably destructive male bashing or in a magical kingdom this would be how a male submissive would be that just goes against all reality of how any human being is wired. Because none of this is what my power exchange relationships are about as well.

Yes, I would prefer to read about the femdom dynamics more in this section. But I have no interest in reading the false propaganda of the mythical selfless non sexual slave or seeing men play an act of such a one in cyber to try to attract a female dominant who happens to read it. I am sorry but this is what I see more often then not on threads of this nature.

To be honest the male centered kink posts might have more reality in them then many of the other types. No not often the original post that starts the replies but in the actual replies there tends to be realities discussed. So be careful for what you wish for and I recommend if we bash the male “do me” types we should also call foul on all the B.S. of it is all about the mistress type junk that has little reality as well that might do more to drive away people from posting in this section then anything.

My personal preference is reading posts that describe reality of relationships. I do not care where those slices come from. But to answer more directly one of your questions I would recommend people reading the female submissive areas of forums, blogs and any other types. Cyber has created a strong female bias where male dominants say anything that sounds harsh they are ripped to shreds and if male submissives stand up for themselves or have the nerve to want to read about sexuality and kinky things they get labeled a “do me” fakes so we get female dominants contribute only negative verbage and male submissives playing a fake person in cyber so they do not get bashed.

So yeah I all for more discussion of real femdom dynamics and that we have dropped the ball on that. But I am not for trading male kink centered posts for delusional wishful thinking posts on femdom dynamics either. I truly have come to believe that femdom suffers from a major PR problem. We as a group the females come off as foully negative or full of crap and thanks to my slave pointing this out to me the men in this life live to rip other men and see other men get ripped thinking that makes them the “true” submissives. Unfortunately all of this played out seems to leave little healthy discussion on the realities of femdom relationships.



LadyPact -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/8/2009 8:40:29 PM)

Thank you for all of the good contributions so far.  These are helpful ideas that I may be able to implement.  Keep those coming.

I wanted to address this question for clarity.

quote:

ORIGINAL: homedespot

As for your other question...if you can't send him books, sites, or files...how can he come to CM? Were you aware you can send links and files via IM?

J.



Right now, he can't.  Last week, he was moved to a different location.  Overall, this is a good thing, but it has changed his access.  The restrictions are in place by a power greater than Me, so we may have to work with what we've got. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

What if a number of people helped out LP? Like maybe blogged about things through email or something? Would something like that work?

This could definitely be a solution if I can work it out right.  One thing that I feel was a definite positive with threads is the fact that there is an exchange.  I know he gets a lot out of that part.  The personalities behind it all actually let him get into the topics deeper as he can relate them to a number of people.
quote:

ORIGINAL: kccuckoldmist
My personal preference is reading posts that describe reality of relationships. I do not care where those slices come from. But to answer more directly one of your questions I would recommend people reading the female submissive areas of forums, blogs and any other types. Cyber has created a strong female bias where male dominants say anything that sounds harsh they are ripped to shreds and if male submissives stand up for themselves or have the nerve to want to read about sexuality and kinky things they get labeled a “do me” fakes so we get female dominants contribute only negative verbage and male submissives playing a fake person in cyber so they do not get bashed.

So yeah I all for more discussion of real femdom dynamics and that we have dropped the ball on that. But I am not for trading male kink centered posts for delusional wishful thinking posts on femdom dynamics either. I truly have come to believe that femdom suffers from a major PR problem. We as a group the females come off as foully negative or full of crap and thanks to my slave pointing this out to me the men in this life live to rip other men and see other men get ripped thinking that makes them the “true” submissives. Unfortunately all of this played out seems to leave little healthy discussion on the realities of femdom relationships.


I have a huge preference for reading about the realities of personal dynamics, too.  I am much more engaged mentally when I know there is a personal connection behind it all.  Even the sexy stuff has more appeal when it's written because of all that's behind it, rather than just a sexual act.  Plus, there are 23 other hours in the day.  LOL.

I agree with you about the gender bias in some areas.  The PR problem, too.  Don't get Me started on what I think BDSM porn has done in that area.  It could make for a long night.  [8D]

Thankfully, in the two years that clip's been Mine, there hasn't been too much ripping as you describe.  Yes, once in a while, in cases where people had ulterior motives (jealousy, low self worth, etc) he's gotten some of that, as many of our boys do.  However, it's very rare for it to happen at kinky events we've attended, and more likely to happen when someone thinks they have balls on the other side of the screen.



Please keep the ideas coming.





pixelslave -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/8/2009 9:28:01 PM)

Its been my observation that the "wanking fodder" posts tends to get shot down fairly quickly and those threads are usually short lived.

Its when people share their experiences in the dynamics they're in (or have been in), that most real exchanges of useful information on the diversity of D/s relationships most often happen here. For some reason, those exchanges seem to spontaneously occur when something inspires someone to share on a something personal, perhaps because of the topic or the OP who's posting for answers to their question. I don't know that there's a particular "magic formula" that brings those kinds of posts out. It seems that when threads are started on deeper subjects to try and elicit those kinds of sharing, for some reason, they never seem to go very far. [sm=m23.gif]

- pixel




MissBeautiful2U -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/8/2009 9:29:02 PM)

Well... think about how you like him to serve you... and I have seen some of your writings before but not enough to make a "Good" recommendation.  However if there is a particular skill you would like him to master for you, you could send him literature on that.  Or perhaps a picture of your bathtub along with a brief description of what you are looking forward to him doing there.  I know you have to keep it clean, but it  could be 'scrub' it or 'give me a bubble bath' or whatever.

Good luck.



Eivarden -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/8/2009 10:57:12 PM)

I'm going to be blunt. (then again I usually am)
I usually avoid Ask a Mistress section because it offers no reason to visit.

If someone DOES actually ask about Dommes, they are quick to answer, "No wank material for you!"

I'm not going to argue about if it is, or isn't, but for those of us here to learn, it ends up being 28 pages of wasted text, "Sorry I can't tell you".

The only rare occasion Dommes reply, is if the profile or the person behind it, are another Domme.
Then it's suddenly an open discussion.

I find myself going to Ask a Master, or Ask a Sub now.



BoiJen -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/9/2009 4:58:32 AM)

Lady Pact,

The gist of your post fully summarizes my feelings about ClubFEM and most other "FemDomme (aka. heterosexual male "submissive") " groups. I phrase it that way because I often feel that this community is where the rest of society decides people go by default because they don't seem to find their sexuality needs being met elsewhere, not because they actually desire to be here. So we end up with guys who are focused on their dicks, don't shower, are too fat to walk a half hour a day, emotional wasteland types, inarticulate, and have no social tact trying to get the attention of desperately lonely, grossly overweight, emotionally malnourished, attention whores (who are exactly that, they'd do any thing include pay for it, if it weren't for the previously stated males), often alcoholic women; all showing up on a day that their massive role playing game isn't going right for them or mom's home early from her bingo night.

If you don't fit that description, it doesn't apply. If you do, you know who are...go home. This still isn't the place for you. Just because we put up a sign that says "we accept everybody's kinks" didn't mean "we accept everybody"...pay attention damnit!

Thusly, we end up with "FemDomme" groups that aren't. They're focused on heterosexual men getting their wants catered to by women who are either desperate to get attention or are also in a position where they can't or won't actually work to get their sexuality needs met. (Anybody: Please find out the difference between sexual and sexuality before responding to this post)

Now, since I got up 45 minutes before MsKitty this morning, as we're back in south Florida and back to our regularly scheduled program, I made Her breakfast, coffee for work, lunch, did the cat liter, dishes, vacuumed, got Her paper. After She got up, I made the bed, groomed both cats (claws and brushed), prepared Her work bag (school book, casual reading, yesterday's crossword out of the paper, feminine needs, water bottle, supplements...it's a check list as well fetching), got Her shoes, got Her keys, gave Her the pre-day foot rub while She finished eating and then happily saw Her of to work. I now have 1/2 hour before my work day begins and during my work day I have to plan and prepare dinner, unpack Her travel bag from our trip, put away toys, do laundry, create a grocery list....damn my "to do" is long today....plan dinner for the rest of the week, plan for the Friday drive for (plug) Top's Boot Camp, write a letter explaining to someone why I need to uphold my integrity and no longer associate with them (as assigned cuz Ma'am is invested in my emotional well being)-God knows what I've missed on the list here. I'm sure I'll figure it out later.

These are all the things done in a day to make Her arrival home comfortable and easy. If I'm lucky, I'll get a cuddle and a pat on the head when She gets home. Play time is not something I get to ask for on a regular basis because She doesn't want to hear about how *I* want to play. She decides, pretty regularly, if, when, how, and what kinda play time I get...and no, it's not a reward.

That is the FemDomme/boi power dynamic (I don't like the word "exchange" here) that I am *allowed* to participate in.

boi

MsKitty's quote of the day: "Your name is 'the other one' if I tell you your name is 'the other one'."



kccuckoldmist -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/9/2009 5:32:30 AM)

But in this reply is partly exactly what I refer to in terms of wanting to promote the fictional male submissive. Men, and folks that include male submissives, do not and are not interested in DISCUSSING 5,000 ways I spoil a woman. Also for the most part this 5,000 ways to spoil me is the female equivalent of the stereotyped “do me” male submissive. Instead of males obsessing about the kinky things and sex in the relationship too many females just want to obsess on the being spoiled aspects of the relationships. Personally I do not see much of a difference as both are focusing exclusively on the byproducts.

The power dynamic is not centered on what the submissive does for me but is what both people are giving and receiving in the relationships which in turns makes the submissive want to spoil us part of the relationship but near the end part. You can wish, rant or project to the end of time what you want to read about but you cannot make men interested in writing and contributing to topics that bore them to death. It is easy and quick to then dismiss all men not willing to do this as “do me” or penis obsessed but the truth is some are and some are not. The lack of not writing about something does not mean they lack the ability to be overall all submissives just as much as we would not like all being referred to as fakes because we can never write about effort to actually lead a relationship and actually show that we are willing to sacrifice on our side of the relationships as well.

It is a message board and not a force others to write what you want to read board. There is little to no difference between a male centered sex post and a female centered show me attention and be spoiled post, they are being written by people for that interests them. The male and female genders are different and female dominance cannot change this. Maybe we should discuss this more instead of whining about it.




LadyPact -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/9/2009 7:26:37 AM)

Actually, I think there is.  While I enjoy reading many of the posts created by some of the male submissives that frequent here, I do see that very much as secondary.  The reality of day to day life in a functioning dynamic is, was, and always will be better topic material.  Whether that is dynamics that have more of a gf/bf, romantic, laid back type of relationship or for those of us who have more service, protocol. rigid arrangements and everything in-between.

When you say
quote:

You can wish, rant or project to the end of time what you want to read about but you cannot make men interested in writing and contributing to topics that bore them to death.
I can agree with that.  The thing is, the other side of the kneel is not My primary thought behind the post.  If it was, we certainly could call the forum the Ask My Penis section, because it would be focus on the folks who are serving us.  If the topics are important to the femdoms, that is a bit higher in the schene of things than whether the males are bored with them or not.  Just the same as if I were talking with a group with Dominant women any other place while he was sitting at My feet.  If he's not all that interested, that's not going to be My first concern.  Rather, I'm going to be involved with the conversation that I'm having with the other women AND I'm going to expect him to try to learn something from it.

Part of the theory that I have from the result is that we are talking less about what does interest us, which gives even the greater impression of us being overrun here by what it is that the males *do* want to talk about.  For some (and believe Me I am not saying nearly all) that has more focus on their orgasm or their fetish, than it has to do with any female,





LaTigresse -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/9/2009 7:40:34 AM)

LadyPact, you have touched on the very reason I spend very little time in the 'Ask a Mistress' section. I don't care about the male anatomy or a man's hyper focus on his anatomy. I also do not care to focus on the female slave/sub's anatomy. I kinda have that covered.

The interesting observation is that I usually have more interest in the topics being discussed in 'Ask a Master' or 'Ask a Submissive/Slave'.

Makes one wonder exactly who is being served in all of this...



OttersSwim -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/9/2009 9:05:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Part of the theory that I have from the result is that we are talking less about what does interest us, which gives even the greater impression of us being overrun here by what it is that the males *do* want to talk about.  For some (and believe Me I am not saying nearly all) that has more focus on their orgasm or their fetish, than it has to do with any female,


I see this as absolutely fact.  The Mistress' forum is quite often overrun with "wank" and "fetish" posts that I can understand get's you Ladies down a bit.  What to do about it?  It is a quandary.

If you Ladies go militant and just chase all the wankers and self-focused wanna-bees out, you miss out on an opportunity for educating a potential future submissive male.  And you run the risk of chasing people away entirely and the Mistress' Forum could become rife with the sound of crickets...

If you all take a milder tact and decide to educate, well you still end up with an amount of "wank and fetish" and you maybe have added work to the mix where rather than just being snarky, you have to be tactful and educational in your responses - I understand that this already happens a lot.   Mind you, some will never get it even if you smashed them flat with a clue as I said in another post...but there are those males that benefit from someone taking them a bit to task in an educational way when they come here...it may seem like too much work for a little internet forum...

If nothing is done, then things will continue or worsen as you all get eventually fed up and your topic again sounds to nothing but wanking crickets.

I have long advocated for CM adding the "Sticky Post" feature.  I think this would help the situation as you could put helpful topics right up at the top that don't go away, posts that will discourage some wank (not all), educate those that come here sincerely, and make things a little neater from the aspect of not having to type it all over and over and over with each new "stud" that appears with an attitude.  Sticky posts are used in so many forums and are frankly a godsend on many of them.  I cannot fathom why they do not allow us to use them here.



hopelesslyInvo -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/9/2009 9:17:12 AM)

well if you asked me, a mistress board attracts the people who seek them, as well as conversation about the things mistresses would be involved in.  thus there are many men here, and much of the conversation involves interaction with them, such as is the norm. 

if you wanted a board that talked about women most of the time, and attracted dominant women to see what's in there, you'd likely want to look in the submissive forum, but there's the problem.  dominants got split into male and female, but s types got action packed into one forum with no differentiation between genders, and due to population imbalances alone, it then causes it to be almost exclusively involved with the dominant male submissive female viewpoint. 

if we had it equal on both sides of the fence, you'd probably be able to find what you're looking for, but as for now i just don't think it exists; the general board is better to go to than the sub board for our type of relations but it is of course very lacking as well.

the way i see it, there's 2 boards to interest female submissives, 2 boards to interest male dominants, and a board to interest male submissives, but female dominants kind of just get "stuck" in ask a mistress.  the only board to really apply to them is one where they "answer questions" but don't really get to be inclined to ask them, or see how the sub males talk amongst themselves.  my belief in that being the case is only brought further to light by the fact that when a mistress wants to ask a submissive male a question, it's posted in "ask a mistress" rather than "ask a submissive", because "ask a submissive" is M/f, and you all know us submissive guys are already drawn to this forum like a bug to a glow in the night.

all in all i wouldn't say anyone has slipped, i'd say the setup of CM's forums just leave us with little alternatives.  i have no suggestions really on what to replace these forums with even if he had free access to anywhere, my only other source is fetlife and there forums leave a lot to be desired if you ask me. 

personally i never came here or saw this place as an education tool, regardless of how much i've learned or came to realize in my time spent here.  i'm just another moth flying towards the flame, and i'd probably keep coming back even if this place made me more ignorant each visit.

the only thing i could think to do is relay things you come across to him either via email or messenger.  you could have him spend his time doing self learning~

maybe send him to waldenbooks or something to pick up one of those nice little hardback journals for 4 or 5 bucks, and by the time you two get back to normalcy that it is to be filled cover to cover with his own thoughts and observations across a wide array topics, perhaps ones you ask him to write on time to time, especially if you find a topic that you would have liked him to read.

if i've learned anything from these forums, it's that you learn far more by the words you add to others than the words you've read.  seeing other posts may inspire me to say something, but it's not until i find myself in thought of what i wish to say that i often realize what i even thought or felt in the first place.  in fact at this point, that's probably what i would suggest, i'd have him write on things that either comes to his mind and causes him to think, or on things you'd like to hear his thoughts on.  and because hes writing on his own you wouldn't have him just agreeing with the op or afraid of opposing someone's views, you'd just get a fairly accurate portrayal where the only influence in his writing will be in the knowledge that you will eventually see it and so he might tailor certain things in that respect.

might be worth a try~



DVsFox -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/9/2009 9:20:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelesslyInvo

well if you asked me, a mistress board attracts the people who seek them, as well as conversation about the things mistresses would be involved in.  thus there are many men here, and much of the conversation involves interaction with them, such as is the norm. 

if you wanted a board that talked about women most of the time, and attracted dominant women to see what's in there, you'd likely want to look in the submissive forum, but there's the problem.  dominants got split into male and female, but s types got action packed into one forum with no differentiation between genders, and due to population imbalances alone, it then causes it to be almost exclusively involved with the dominant male submissive female viewpoint. 

if we had it equal on both sides of the fence, you'd probably be able to find what you're looking for, but as for now i just don't think it exists; the general board is better to go to than the sub board for our type of relations but it is of course very lacking as well.

the way i see it, there's 2 boards to interest female submissives, 2 boards to interest male dominants, and a board to interest male submissives, but female dominants kind of just get "stuck" in ask a mistress.  the only board to really apply to them is one where they "answer questions" but don't really get to be inclined to ask them, or see how the sub males talk amongst themselves.  my belief in that being the case is only brought further to light by the fact that when a mistress wants to ask a submissive male a question, it's posted in "ask a mistress" rather than "ask a submissive", because "ask a submissive" is M/f, and you all know us submissive guys are already drawn to this forum like a bug to a glow in the night.

all in all i wouldn't say anyone has slipped, i'd say the setup of CM's forums just leave us with little alternatives.  i have no suggestions really on what to replace these forums with even if he had free access to anywhere, my only other source is fetlife and there forums leave a lot to be desired if you ask me. 

personally i never came here or saw this place as an education tool, regardless of how much i've learned or came to realize in my time spent here.  i'm just another moth flying towards the flame, and i'd probably keep coming back even if this place made me more ignorant each visit.

the only thing i could think to do is relay things you come across to him either via email or messenger.  you could have him spend his time doing self learning~

maybe send him to waldenbooks or something to pick up one of those nice little hardback journals for 4 or 5 bucks, and by the time you two get back to normalcy that it is to be filled cover to cover with his own thoughts and observations across a wide array topics, perhaps ones you ask him to write on time to time, especially if you find a topic that you would have liked him to read.

if i've learned anything from these forums, it's that you learn far more by the words you add to others than the words you've read.  seeing other posts may inspire me to say something, but it's not until i find myself in thought of what i wish to say that i often realize what i even thought or felt in the first place.  in fact at this point, that's probably what i would suggest, i'd have him write on things that either comes to his mind and causes him to think, or on things you'd like to hear his thoughts on.  and because hes writing on his own you wouldn't have him just agreeing with the op or afraid of opposing someone's views, you'd just get a fairly accurate portrayal where the only influence in his writing will be in the knowledge that you will eventually see it and so he might tailor certain things in that respect.

might be worth a try~



I was going to add my own feelings to this discussion...but I would just basically be repeating this post.

DV's Fox



howahkan -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/9/2009 9:45:24 AM)

quote:

LadyPact  Wrote:

How focused do you think the questions on this particular forum are leaning more toward male sexuality or fetishes of males, rather than topics related to BDSM or authority structured dynamics?  Have we slipped a little bit in our corner of the CM world?  If we are falling short here, and you had prior been using these boards as an education tool, what do you think you'd use to replace it?  (Please keep in mind, I can not send him books, files he can download, or kink related sites of any kind.)  Do you see this forum still as an educational tool?


LadtPact - You have two things working against the you.

First is the "Section Guidelines".  They look like they have been copied and pasted to each section and the titles/roles are the only part changed.  There are no real guidelines for posting, just a general statement.

Second is the forum title.  It sounds like an open invitation for a sub to post a question about their needs/self.  I can tell you that I was drawn here by the title and I posted a thread about myself, (as you know).  I would not have done so if I thought for one second it was not wanted.

Standing on the other side of this issue I also believe this is a problem.  I don't want to post a thread in an area where no one or most people don't want to read it.  The way this message board is setup there doesn't seen to be any other option.  I have to ask, "What other option is there?".

If the subjects are divided into more specific areas or restricted to only the questions Mistresses want to hear, I think the whole area of "Ask a Mistress" would die.  As pixelslave has pointed out, it's the diversity of threads that keep this section vibrant, lively, and vital to the readers.

If you really don't want to hear from us male subs, our wants, our needs, our desires and yes, our penises, then please ask the board moderator to change the "Section Guidelines" and let us know we are not welcome in this section.



LadyPact -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/9/2009 10:50:21 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Part of the theory that I have from the result is that we are talking less about what does interest us, which gives even the greater impression of us being overrun here by what it is that the males *do* want to talk about.  For some (and believe Me I am not saying nearly all) that has more focus on their orgasm or their fetish, than it has to do with any female,


I see this as absolutely fact.  The Mistress' forum is quite often overrun with "wank" and "fetish" posts that I can understand get's you Ladies down a bit.  What to do about it?  It is a quandary.

If you Ladies go militant and just chase all the wankers and self-focused wanna-bees out, you miss out on an opportunity for educating a potential future submissive male.  And you run the risk of chasing people away entirely and the Mistress' Forum could become rife with the sound of crickets...

If you all take a milder tact and decide to educate, well you still end up with an amount of "wank and fetish" and you maybe have added work to the mix where rather than just being snarky, you have to be tactful and educational in your responses - I understand that this already happens a lot.   Mind you, some will never get it even if you smashed them flat with a clue as I said in another post...but there are those males that benefit from someone taking them a bit to task in an educational way when they come here...it may seem like too much work for a little internet forum...

If nothing is done, then things will continue or worsen as you all get eventually fed up and your topic again sounds to nothing but wanking crickets.

I have long advocated for CM adding the "Sticky Post" feature.  I think this would help the situation as you could put helpful topics right up at the top that don't go away, posts that will discourage some wank (not all), educate those that come here sincerely, and make things a little neater from the aspect of not having to type it all over and over and over with each new "stud" that appears with an attitude.  Sticky posts are used in so many forums and are frankly a godsend on many of them.  I cannot fathom why they do not allow us to use them here.



Part of what was behind the original was clip's continued education.  Even before he was collared to Me, it was important to Me to have him exposed to the full range of the femdom world.  I'm a firm believer in his continued learning and I see that as one of My responsibilities connected with ownership.  I'd hope that most of us would have a similar view of the s-types that belong to us.

As for the "potential male submissive" category, I think it would be less than truthful of Me to say that I have the same concern there as I do for My own.  I've often said that good potentials have a tendency to get involved with a wonderful person to serve themselves (as you and your Lady are a good example) and under Her wing are repeating the process that I described above. 

Do I think we'd be left to crickets if there were fewer posts solely based on male orgasms or the fetish posts that look like laundry lists?  No, I really don't.  I tend to think the Dommes here would end up having more discussions to stimulate the mind, which in the case of some of us would be inspirational in a number of other directions.


Edited for spacing.



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