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RE: Looking for advice - 11/9/2009 5:55:11 PM

MasterSlaveLA

Posts: 3991
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To each their own... have never bought into this line of thinking.

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RE: Looking for advice - 11/9/2009 10:56:07 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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So you want to go through a period of time acting as if you are something you don't want to be resulting in you delaying who you really are?

A lot of people get a good measure of learning and experiences starting as a sub and then moving into the Dominant role. This is wonderful when they feel they have obtained something positive from the arrangement. The bottom line of it is, if you're not submissive, you're not going to feel the same way a submissive feels. I happen to be a sadist. No matter how many times I might bottom (which I don't) I'm not going to process pain the way a masochist does. I'd be playing a part, and denying My own nature in the meantime.

Mentors are a great idea, but in My opinion, it's better to learn from more than one person. The reason behind this is that no one person is the best at everything. Even when it comes to topping skills, I'd rather look for the person who does one particular thing so well that I want to learn that skill from that person. Another skill might be taught better by someone else, so I'll go to them for that. Think of it like going to your mechanic to work on your car, but you probably wouldn't want that same person to do the electrical wiring in your house or work on your plumbing.

Go to munches, events, demos, and play parties so you can see people's skills for yourself. Talk to people. They will tell you and show you what they know. Good luck.

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Post #: 22

RE: Looking for advice - 11/10/2009 3:19:28 AM

ranja

Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: danlob45106

Hello. I am new to the lifestyle. I aspire to be Dom. However, it was suggested that I ebegin by experiencing life as a sub (so I can appreciate what the sub goes through). I thought that it was a good suggestion. I believe that the Fem Domme that guides me could also be a Mentor. How does everybody feel about this.... is this a good way to start???

If it turns you on and makes you laugh it is most definitly the right way for you to go.
My Husband however would never take instructions from a Domme in order to make Him a better Dom, it would not turn Him on and He would not think it funny... He totally has His own ideas on things and not a sub bone in His body...
Same for me really, i do not need to be a Dom for a while inorder to be a better sub or appreciate how different life is for a Dom...
That is now though... maybe tastes might change

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Post #: 23

RE: Looking for advice - 11/10/2009 4:54:38 AM

Acer49

Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

It's not an issue if you have a mentor, unless that mentor is using you to get their rocks off or just for sex.
Otherwise, it's all good. Just don't put all your eggs in one basket... everyone can be a good mentor and teacher, so don't restrict your learning methods.

the.dark.

Everyone? I would not go quite that far

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RE: Looking for advice - 11/10/2009 6:13:04 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Acer, from some people you learn what not to do. Also a learning experience.

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RE: Looking for advice - 11/10/2009 6:58:42 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

It's not an issue if you have a mentor, unless that mentor is using you to get their rocks off or just for sex.
Otherwise, it's all good. Just don't put all your eggs in one basket... everyone can be a good mentor and teacher, so don't restrict your learning methods.

the.dark.

Everyone? I would not go quite that far

What celeste said.

the.dark.

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RE: Looking for advice - 11/10/2009 2:05:34 PM

antipode

Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
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quote:

I believe that the Fem Domme that guides me could also be a Mentor. How does everybody feel about this.... is this a good way to start???

Clever, that, she is taking you for a ride. Umm, this is like wanting to drive, and practicing being a car to begin with. That sound practical to you?

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Post #: 27

RE: Looking for advice - 11/10/2009 5:20:38 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ranja

quote:

ORIGINAL: danlob45106

Hello. I am new to the lifestyle. I aspire to be Dom. However, it was suggested that I ebegin by experiencing life as a sub (so I can appreciate what the sub goes through). I thought that it was a good suggestion. I believe that the Fem Domme that guides me could also be a Mentor. How does everybody feel about this.... is this a good way to start???

If it turns you on and makes you laugh it is most definitly the right way for you to go.
My Husband however would never take instructions from a Domme in order to make Him a better Dom, it would not turn Him on and He would not think it funny... He totally has His own ideas on things and not a sub bone in His body...
Same for me really, i do not need to be a Dom for a while inorder to be a better sub or appreciate how different life is for a Dom...
That is now though... maybe tastes might change

That was such a powerful statement (IMO).

I will always be in complete amazement how someone can be a Dom/Domme....it honestly blows me away. Totally (entirely) foreign to me.

In my day to day, I control the world...I manipulate it....I make it conform to me...for that period....it's mine alone....

But in a relationship, anything other than her control would seem incredible to me.

Just a comment....sorry....didn't mean to hijack.

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Post #: 28

RE: Looking for advice - 11/11/2009 1:15:26 PM

blmtrsne

Posts: 201
Joined: 6/29/2004
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It's good to know what your doing to your sub, but I don't see why you should switch to a sub role entirely.

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RE: Looking for advice - 11/11/2009 8:21:54 PM

rockspider

Posts: 633
Joined: 9/26/2009
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Well i have decided to experience what it is like to be black. Anybody have some shoeshine?

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Post #: 30