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sunshinemiss -> RE: Living in Authority (11/10/2009 4:38:10 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
I was wondering having your own authority as you do,
how are you are approaching giving some of that up in a foreign country?
I would love you to share your thoughts if you are willing too.
I also think a journal about the feelings that may arise or the experiences good and bad would be really cool.[:)]
Hi Lushy - lubs you right back!
The easy part - I do have a jounal about this journey. I have a blog on blogspot. I'll send you a link. Anyone else that wants the link, just send me a little love note on the other side, and I'll be happy to share it with you.
quote:
I was wondering having your own authority as you do,
how are you are approaching giving some of that up in a foreign country?
This part above is the difficult piece. I have considered this quite a lot - particularly over the last two months while people have been questioning my decision and have been fairly unsupportive for the very reason you elude to. Where I am to go is a place where women are deeply submissive and are locked away in dark clothes, hidden, unable to make their own choices... or so we think.
My experience with travel is that the USA is often under misconceptions about other places around the globe. Your question if I understand it is really two parts... First I will be giving up my authority. And how am I approaching that sacrifice. I think the initial premise is incorrect. I am not giving up my authority. I am CHOOSING to go some place with very different customs. I am CHOOSING to work the job I do. I am CHOOSING to experience something that many people don't have the opportunity (or dare I say gumption) to live through. I am not giving up my authority. I am making some adjustments in order to make my life easier and to get the thing that I want - the global experience.
As for my approach to the sacrifice? I choose to view this as extraordinary. Not only am I lucky that I will be able to teach women who are viewed as second class citizens, valued only in the manner they are attached to a man, but I will perhaps be the first strong woman of my age, unmarried, to go to that place and show that it is possible to live without a man. I am an inspiration to the people I teach. That's a pretty heady thought.
I know that there will be a certain amount of letting go of my "rights" - I can't drive, I can't go out in public alone, I must be covered. But how is this much different from where I live now or have lived in the past? I have lived where I couldn't afford a car, and I've lived (in the USA) where it wasn't safe to go out in public alone. In other countries, my adult students have escorted me home - not because it was required legally, but because it was required ethically, based on the code of conduct for their culture. There have been places where I've lived where in the hottest days of summer, it was not appropriate to wear shorts - so I didn't. There wasn't a law, but there was an understanding that a woman was to be covered in a certain manner. I once had a job that required I wear a certain uniform. Come to think of it, all of my jobs have had dress codes. How different is this than that? It is merely a different uniform.
To some degree, we all give up our freedoms for our ability to earn a wage, live in society, enjoy relationships. I have chosen a different set of freedoms to set aside for a time. And while I will honor the society in which I live, I will not forget my own customs and beliefs. I will not stop being who I am. I will temper my words and my opinions - as I do in any work situation or interaction with new people. But it does not change who I am. Is this not what all of society does? Is this not the price of being in society?
In the end, I love the work that I do. I love living in new cultures, and learning the mundane to the sacred of that culture (ask me sometime about all the ways people can go to the bathroom). Studying religion - actually where people practice it - is a great joy of mine. I love going to a new place and learning how they cook, what dances they do, whom they admire. I love learning the ways we are similar and how we express the same things in different fashions. I love learning a new language and respecting the culture, and I absolutely adore when the same people who were leery of me (and my kind), turn to me and say "You are different. Why do you wear your hair like we do? Why do you learn our language? Why do you come to our place of worship?" And I tell them, "It is respect. I respect your culture, and I will celebrate it with you if you will allow me." And they see my country and my people as something other than the demons or bullies we have been or have been perceived as to them and their country. They see something real. My students in Korea gave me a name - a Korean name. The deaf gave me a name sign. In Peru, they told me I am Peruana en mi corazon (Peruvian in my heart). Because I accepted them, they accepted me. I like to think that I am an ambassador for peace and communication in the world. For this experience, I am willing to give up many things.
We all sacrifice for what we love. My depth of sacrifice is no different from anyone else's. The details are merely different.
And that, my dear lushy, is how I approach the changes that come into my life when I go to a new culture.
blessings,
sunshine
*edited for clarity.
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