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Lucylastic -> RE: I Admit It I........ (7/8/2017 3:34:16 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961

I admit I enjoy using Lucy as the point of some of my paranoid, delusional accusations made in jest....
I admit that I am presently photoshopping proof she is responsible for a certain current US Presidents rise in politics, which involves a black and white photo of Dr. Frankenstein's lab from an one of the early Frankenstein movies.....

oooooooooh I need to see that Jeff:)I must have black piled hair with white streaks.
I admit I enjoy your sense of humour
I know you lubs me!!!!!!
[:D]


I admit, life has been one long shitstorm, but Im still smiling because I have a sick sense of humour.
one day at a time eh?

Winsome....
I wish I could paint, I cannot get my fingers to do what my brain sees, so Ive given up trying. My daughter went to one of those events where you enjoy wine and get a lesson and get to recreate a pic and take it home, hers turned out really well, and she has started to paint, not seriously but it relaxes her.

Des hope your eyes are recovering, ive been thinking about it, my eyes are so bad...but i have a squick with eyes.

To everyone else, hellos and virtual hug to who want one.

Oh Hill, good luck :)




jlf1961 -> RE: I Admit It I........ (7/8/2017 12:30:05 PM)

I admit lucy, that since I have not seen a pic of your face, I am presently using a photo of Elvira, mistress of the dark. The one where she had the white streaks for her homage to Frankenstein photo shoot (with the face suitably pixalated.)
I also admit that the video of said event has seen about 18 hours of work (stop frame animation even on a computer is a fucking bitch!)




WinsomeDefiance -> RE: I Admit It I........ (7/9/2017 9:39:53 AM)

I admit I was enjoying picking wild flowers on our bike rides around the lake and decorating Kay's hair with them.

I admit Kay has a new hard limit, I'm not allowed to decorate her hair with poisonous flowers anymore.

I admit this severely limits my options.




jlf1961 -> RE: I Admit It I........ (7/9/2017 12:50:43 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

I admit I was enjoying picking wild flowers on our bike rides around the lake and decorating Kay's hair with them.

I admit Kay has a new hard limit, I'm not allowed to decorate her hair with poisonous flowers anymore.

I admit this severely limits my options.


I admit I can understand the no poisonous flowers thing, since they often cause various epidermal reactions that are unpleasant to say the least.
I admit that I am at a loss to understand my niece (nothing new in the not understanding, but something new in her latest activity which is contrary to everything she says she believes in.)
I admit that I would like to take said niece over my lap and spank the hell out her with a hickory switch (or as many as it takes to change the undesirable behavior)
I admit that this female never got any kind of discipline growing up and it is evident now.




Hillwilliam -> RE: I Admit It I........ (7/10/2017 8:28:05 AM)

I admit that a woman asked me a question last weekend that made me quite happy.

She said "Do you have condoms?"[8D]




jlf1961 -> RE: I Admit It I........ (7/10/2017 4:35:48 PM)

I admit if I had the extra money I would purchase a barrel for my .338 lapua magnum
I admit that in this case I am glad the ATF does not monitor gun barrel sales.
I admit I would not be considering this act if my stupid as a rock niece would file domestic abuse charges against her common law husband (who only gets violent when he drinks or uses narcotics, other wise he is a really sweet guy <<< her words)




Phoenixpower -> RE: I Admit It I........ (7/10/2017 5:43:42 PM)

I admit we "planted" today an orange tree😋

I admit it happened for now virtually (but will soon really happen) on here: https://www.naranjasdelcarmen.com/en

I admit I tried out the other Crossfit box last Friday and I loved the first impression...and hope it will stay that way...

I admit I was stunned about the normal friendly welcoming there...

I admit - unfortunately - at my main box I hate the atmosphere between the women...

I admit I don't know a single man in this box whom I'd dislike but there are quite a few bitches who can't be arsed to bother greeting back when you greet them when you pass them...not to mention being just generelly arrogant during working out, too😒

I admit because of that I regularly snort when they pronounce oh so often, what a great community they think they are🙄 Nope, they aren't😒 There are about 10 peeps in there out of 150 who think they are the universe, but that doesn't make out a great community😒

I admit due to the not so great atmosphere with some of the women I agreed now with hubby to attend Crossfit 2 hours earlier than usual tomorrow...cause if it stays how it is at the moment, then it means, I will be working out with 11 men and no woman tomorrow💪💪💪

I admit one of them is the coach but it's just always so easy going, working out with men and I give a shit now working out with some of the women when I can do so...after all, working out is supposed to be fun and not torture 😔😔😔




Spiritedsub2 -> RE: I Admit It I........ (7/11/2017 7:21:16 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

I admit that a woman asked me a question last weekend that made me quite happy.

She said "Do you have condoms?"[8D]


I admit, a story or it didn't happen (at least I didn't say pics).




jlf1961 -> RE: I Admit It I........ (7/11/2017 10:02:43 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2


I admit, a story or it didn't happen (at least I didn't say pics).



This is the age of photo shop, pictures dont mean much...

Neither does video, considering the current state of cgi technology, so 200 sworn statements will do nicely.




shiftyw -> RE: I Admit It I........ (7/12/2017 9:20:37 PM)

I admit I've been seeing a nutritionist and weight lifting.
I admit I've lost 14 pounds.
I admit we are in the "reverse dieting" phase and I'm still losing weight- so I'm excited to start the "dieting down" part.
I admit I am struggling with plantar fasciitis- which started as shin splints and has now moved to constant heel pain.
I admit that is super frustrating.




jlf1961 -> RE: I Admit It I........ (7/13/2017 5:09:42 PM)

I admit I have a niece that goes out of her way to piss me off...
I admit there are times I want to back hand her across the room...
I admit that as far as brain power is concerned, this woman is so dumb she would poke a pissed off rattlesnake with a toothpick then ask why she got bit.




WinsomeDefiance -> RE: I Admit It I........ (7/14/2017 12:22:35 PM)

I admit I showed K a different section of the bike trails and just when she was asking how much farther - we caught sight of a doe leaping through the meadow. I told her, here in Michigan, deer are gorgeous when you're on your bike. When in a car, they are suicidal kamikaze mother ef'erz.

I admit I found a nice bunch of echinacea and a nice surprising group of mullein. Both of which I'm transplanting back at my son's house. He will see a weed, So I'll have some splaining to do.




DesFIP -> RE: I Admit It I........ (7/14/2017 1:55:51 PM)

Especially the mullein, they can grow over six feet tall.

And top speed for a white tail is 35 mph. One overtook us when we were on a 30 mph section of road.




WinsomeDefiance -> RE: I Admit It I........ (7/14/2017 4:33:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Especially the mullein, they can grow over six feet tall.

And top speed for a white tail is 35 mph. One overtook us when we were on a 30 mph section of road.


She was a beautiful sight. One of the reasons I like that out of the way trail. I've seen wild turkeys, quail, a fox, rabbits, deer and of course snakes. They like to sun themselves on the hot pavement. Kay thought we had only gone less than a mile, but it was almost 2.5 miles. We then went to the lake, our usual bike ride and did a lap around the lake, which added another 2.2 miles. She is starting to gain more confidence and is now pushing me to go on rides :).

The Mullein, People see a tall weed. I see a wonderful herb great for asthma and coughs.

I wish I could take advantage of the benefits of echinacea, but having an autoimmune disease, I can't. I still haven't lost hope of encouraging K to give up her Mt. Dew and drink tea.

Oh, and I admit all that.




DesFIP -> RE: I Admit It I........ (7/15/2017 3:05:19 PM)

I admit we have a doe and fawn bedding down close to the house. We see them almost daily. The fawn raced across the driveway ahead of us, we came up slowly and there was mom on the side of the road. She had this look that all mothers get. The one saying where do they get all that energy from and won't the kid please take a nap.




WinsomeDefiance -> RE: I Admit It I........ (7/15/2017 7:13:10 PM)

Awww! [:)]




jlf1961 -> RE: I Admit It I........ (7/15/2017 11:21:36 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I admit we have a doe and fawn bedding down close to the house. We see them almost daily. The fawn raced across the driveway ahead of us, we came up slowly and there was mom on the side of the road. She had this look that all mothers get. The one saying where do they get all that energy from and won't the kid please take a nap.

In response of these things talking about 'cute' and eliciting the response 'aww' I submit to this good company, an alleged true story of a man who discovered, that, much to his dismay, deer are evil vile things best served cooked and on good china.

quote:

I had this idea that I could rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up-- 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold..

The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards it, it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope .., and then received an education.. The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope.

That deer exploded. The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a lot stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity. A deer-- no Chance. That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.. The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.

A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.

I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual. Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in. I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.

Did you know that deer bite?

They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when ..... I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and slide off to then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head--almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective.

It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now), tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.

That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp... I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -like a horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.

This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run. The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed.. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.

I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away. So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope......to sort of even the odds!!

All these events are true... An Educated Farmer

''Life's tough, pilgrim, and it's even tougher if you're stupid.''-- John Wayne
source


Of course, to add to this:

I admit that deer season is two fold, one it is to provide good hunting in which the goal is to put meat on the tables of our families, and two, to spend some time in leisure with men who are also intent on doing the same while at the same time, getting away from the dreaded, and often endless, "honey do" lists.

It is two weeks in which we are free to be ourselves, and not forced to put upon the false mask of civility while dealing with a general and often irratating public that scorn our desire to hunt, to seek out those innocent (reference the above tale) looking creatures that raid gardens and thus destroying months of hard labor with the goal of having fresh vegetables for the table without the over used chemicals that seem to be the preferred method of growing a staple of the human diet.




WinsomeDefiance -> RE: I Admit It I........ (7/16/2017 10:00:05 AM)

I admit that was a hilarious story.

I admit the farmer already had the deer showing up and eating out of a trough, he should've just sat on his porch with his rifle ready.

I admit deer are pretty, until they creepily commit mass suicide by launching themselves at vehicles.




WhoreMods -> RE: I Admit It I........ (7/16/2017 10:53:22 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance
I admit deer are pretty, until they creepily commit mass suicide by launching themselves at vehicles.

Unless you're driving a 4x4or a tank, they stand a fair chance of taking the vehicle with them as well...




WinsomeDefiance -> RE: I Admit It I........ (7/16/2017 11:17:13 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: WhoreMods

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance
I admit deer are pretty, until they creepily commit mass suicide by launching themselves at vehicles.

Unless you're driving a 4x4or a tank, they stand a fair chance of taking the vehicle with them as well...


I did a spoof thesis on, "The Effects of Seasonal Affective Disorder on the Kamikaze Deer of Michigan," proposing a study be done using a course of antidepressants and antipsychotics to prevent further mass suicides. My Professor said it was the funniest thing he had ever read. He said no, to making it my actual Thesis. He wasn't convinced, despite my compelling arguments.




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