Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Do you think sex is expected when sceneing??


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Do you think sex is expected when sceneing?? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Do you think sex is expected when sceneing?? - 3/10/2006 8:17:44 AM   
psykocloud


Posts: 50
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline 		Hi all,

I'm having a bit of a life crisis here. All of my life I have been very insurecure in my life as a woman. Feeling like I needed sex from a man to feel complete, to be loved and cared for. I now know that is wrong and it only leaves me feeling very empty and alone at night.

A very good friend of mine is working with me to change my way of thinking. I know it's not going to be a easy road but I'm willing to do the work.

My question to all is this: do you feel it's expected of a sub/slave when sceneing (who are not in a relationship) to have sex while scening?? And do you feel D/s go hand in hand together??

psykocloud

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Do you think sex is expected when sceneing?? - 3/10/2006 8:32:31 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: psykocloud
My question to all is this: do you feel it's expected of a sub/slave when sceneing (who are not in a relationship) to have sex while scening?? And do you feel D/s go hand in hand together??

Depends on the person.

For some, sex and play always go together.

For some, sex and play never go together.

For some, sex and play sometimes go together.

And for some, Ds relationships do not involve sex or bdsm at all.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to psykocloud)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Do you think sex is expected when sceneing?? - 3/10/2006 8:59:58 AM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		As an overall view of things, LA pretty much nailed it...not much point commenting further in that respect, so i will comment from personal experience.
Sceneing always involves some sort of sexual activity/release on the part of my submissive, but not always on my part.
To her the sexual aspects of D/s are very important, while to me they are less so.

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Do you think sex is expected when sceneing?? - 3/10/2006 9:24:29 AM   
incognitoinmass


Posts: 428
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: Massachusetts
Status: offline 		For me, even when it's not about the sex-----it's about the sex.

_____________________________

But if, baby, I'm the bottom,
You're the top!

(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Do you think sex is expected when sceneing?? - 3/10/2006 9:42:25 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

My question to all is this: do you feel it's expected of a sub/slave when sceneing (who are not in a relationship) to have sex while scening?? And do you feel D/s go hand in hand together??


Anyone with whom I play outside of my established relationship will know not to expect sex or sexual activities of any kind. Topping for me is simply creating pain for the sake of art.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to psykocloud)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Do you think sex is expected when sceneing?? - 3/10/2006 9:43:51 AM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		For me, while sex is a nice bonus, it isn't necessary.

Even when a relationship is centered around physical play (as opposed to a service dynamic) sex is a non-required variable.

My Owner and I are currently playing with another m/f couple. one of their limits in playing with others is engaging in penetrative sex. So we don't do that with them. We do other stuff, and have a good time with it.

For me, while I enjoy a -lot- about BDSM it is unequivicably tied to my sex drive and my sexual expression. Sure, there are many non-sexual elements, but they still give me a sexual charge. Doesnt mean I'm engaging in penetrative sex, though.

So...that was a convoluted way of saying "yes and no." For me, bdsm is tied to sexuality and sexual expression, but it is NOT tied with PIV/PIA sex.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to incognitoinmass)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Do you think sex is expected when sceneing?? - 3/10/2006 10:06:20 AM   
incognitoinmass


Posts: 428
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: Massachusetts
Status: offline
quote:

For me, while I enjoy a -lot- about BDSM it is unequivicably tied to my sex drive and my sexual expression. Sure, there are many non-sexual elements, but they still give me a sexual charge


Exactomundo. I would venture that is true for most.

_____________________________

But if, baby, I'm the bottom,
You're the top!

(in reply to perverseangelic)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Do you think sex is expected when sceneing?? - 3/10/2006 11:18:15 AM   
psykocloud


Posts: 50
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline 		thanks for all the reply's

For me, to have sex with anyone means something more. I guess what I'm trying to say is sex = love for me, or something close to it. I go into my *fantasy world* and think its more there.

So now until further notice, No sex of any kind. This is going to be an interesting journey, to say the least

psykocloud

(in reply to psykocloud)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Do you think sex is expected when sceneing?? - 3/10/2006 11:28:21 AM   
michaelGA


Posts: 1194
Status: offline 		sex??? you mean there "might" be sex involved??? npy am i missing out on a lot...guess i didn't get the memo on that...go figure...LOL

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to psykocloud)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Do you think sex is expected when sceneing?? - 3/10/2006 12:50:29 PM   
orfunboi


Posts: 1223
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline 		Not only do i feel it's not expected, it not allowed at most of the play parties i attend. At least the public ones.

(in reply to psykocloud)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Do you think sex is expected when sceneing?? - 3/10/2006 1:00:42 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		It's kinda like...masterbating. When you do ... you expect to cum, but you can always stop at any time, but then, what's the point in that?

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to orfunboi)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Do you think sex is expected when sceneing?? - 3/10/2006 1:31:02 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		I hope you don't mind interjecting a different perspective, consider this thought. I'd apply more intimacy to a scene than I would to sex. I could have a "non-intimate" physical sex. I could never have a non-intimate scene. I place too much emphasis on the mental and emotional aspects that must be present for a satisfying BDSM session to consider it otherwise. In other words, I can have casual sex - but I can't have a casual scene.

I'd go further and say that I'd want, and require, sexual experience with a partner prior to considering a scene. Without that experience I would not be able to "read" her body's reaction during a scene. As a result, the scene would lack the intensity that I seek. It wouldn't be as powerful as it would without that sexual experience. It would be more mechanical and strictly sensation producing. I can't imagine it can be as fulfilling.

Of course this requires time. It implies and requires an exchange of intimacy and trust that can't be generated over a few hours. I'd say, as it should be! Sure I've "missed out" on many opportunities to play and participate in casual scenes over the years, but my goal was never to only experience sensation; my goal, for both of us, is to experience the sensational.

(in reply to psykocloud)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Do you think sex is expected when sceneing?? - 3/10/2006 4:46:08 PM   
HentaiGamerKitty


Posts: 131
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline 		FOR ME, it's about the sex. BDSM is something I do because I get off on it and it makes my orgasms more intense. On the rare occasion I've scened only to find no sex was following I was extremely pissed off...got all worked up and no release! That probably goes along with the whole "bottom" vs "sub" vs "slave" discussion.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Do you think sex is expected when sceneing?? - 3/10/2006 4:48:38 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		Nope. But then I don't associate play with sex anyway.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to psykocloud)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Do you think sex is expected when sceneing?? - 3/10/2006 11:33:29 PM   
Stunning


Posts: 76
Joined: 7/16/2004
Status: offline 		Anyone who says that BDSM is not about sex is in one of two camps: 1) denial or 2) psychosis. You mean you will let someone do anything they want to your body and it's not supposed to be sexual? I'm really missing out on where the sex went. If I see some dude greased up and bent over a rail with rubber boots, a diaper and a gorrilla mask, I sure as hell don't get a hardon over it, but I know sex when I see it.

Why are some people scared to admit that everything on these boards has to do with sex? I mean, why even ask the question?

Seriously, if you reply at all, answer this: why did you ask in the first place? I don't post in my automotive forums, "Do you think I have to fuck my mechanic?" Well, he would certainly fuck me so I do my own brake jobs. I don't ask my friends, "Do I have to drill the mail carrier when she comes by with a package?" You don't wonder if you have to give your co-workers handjobs. You only asked if you have to fuck when you scene becasue this is all sexual.

Also, the Emperor has no clothes.

(Not that this would give me a chubby, either.)

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Do you think sex is expected when sceneing?? - 3/11/2006 7:08:55 AM   
orfunboi


Posts: 1223
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline 		The question was "do you feel it's expected of a sub/slave when sceneing (who are not in a relationship) to have sex while scening?? "

Having sex and something being sexual are 2 different things. Does it turn me on to have a beautiful women beating, pinching and rubbing all over me....of course it does. Does this mean that sex is expected? No, not only is it not expected, we would be thrown out of the party if we tried it. Does this mean, i never have sex while scening? No...i have it every chance i get, it just means its not expected.


(in reply to Stunning)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Do you think sex is expected when sceneing?? - 3/11/2006 7:27:06 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Stunning

Anyone who says that BDSM is not about sex is in one of two camps: 1) denial or 2) psychosis. You mean you will let someone do anything they want to your body and it's not supposed to be sexual? I'm really missing out on where the sex went. If I see some dude greased up and bent over a rail with rubber boots, a diaper and a gorrilla mask, I sure as hell don't get a hardon over it, but I know sex when I see it.

Why are some people scared to admit that everything on these boards has to do with sex? I mean, why even ask the question?

Seriously, if you reply at all, answer this: why did you ask in the first place? I don't post in my automotive forums, "Do you think I have to fuck my mechanic?" Well, he would certainly fuck me so I do my own brake jobs. I don't ask my friends, "Do I have to drill the mail carrier when she comes by with a package?" You don't wonder if you have to give your co-workers handjobs. You only asked if you have to fuck when you scene becasue this is all sexual.

Also, the Emperor has no clothes.

(Not that this would give me a chubby, either.)


Just because an experience can be SEXUAL in nature, does not mean that it will end with consumation of the actual act of intercourse. At least, not for me. And this outlook has nothing to do with denial or being psychotic.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to Stunning)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Do you think sex is expected when sceneing?? - 3/11/2006 8:08:15 AM   
psykocloud


Posts: 50
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline 		Thnak you for answering my question orfunboi....
quote:

ORIGINAL: orfunboi

The question was "do you feel it's expected of a sub/slave when sceneing (who are not in a relationship) to have sex while scening?? "

Having sex and something being sexual are 2 different things. Does it turn me on to have a beautiful women beating, pinching and rubbing all over me....of course it does. Does this mean that sex is expected? No, not only is it not expected, we would be thrown out of the party if we tried it. Does this mean, i never have sex while scening? No...i have it every chance i get, it just means its not expected.




(in reply to orfunboi)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Do you think sex is expected when sceneing?? - 3/11/2006 8:16:55 AM   
psykocloud


Posts: 50
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline 		HUH!! What about all the Pro Domme/Masters?? If I am wrong, please correct me but, they don't have sex while scening.. Am I not right...They are in it for the experience and money, am I not right??
quote:

ORIGINAL: Stunning

Anyone who says that BDSM is not about sex is in one of two camps: 1) denial or 2) psychosis. You mean you will let someone do anything they want to your body and it's not supposed to be sexual? I'm really missing out on where the sex went. If I see some dude greased up and bent over a rail with rubber boots, a diaper and a gorrilla mask, I sure as hell don't get a hardon over it, but I know sex when I see it.

Why are some people scared to admit that everything on these boards has to do with sex? I mean, why even ask the question?

Seriously, if you reply at all, answer this: why did you ask in the first place? I don't post in my automotive forums, "Do you think I have to fuck my mechanic?" Well, he would certainly fuck me so I do my own brake jobs. I don't ask my friends, "Do I have to drill the mail carrier when she comes by with a package?" You don't wonder if you have to give your co-workers handjobs. You only asked if you have to fuck when you scene becasue this is all sexual.

Also, the Emperor has no clothes.

(Not that this would give me a chubby, either.)


(in reply to Stunning)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Do you think sex is expected when sceneing?? - 3/11/2006 9:15:52 AM   
DelightMachine


Posts: 652
Joined: 1/21/2006
Status: offline
quote:

HUH!! What about all the Pro Domme/Masters?? If I am wrong, please correct me but, they don't have sex while scening.. Am I not right...They are in it for the experience and money, am I not right??


In all the reading and conversation I've ever done/had about what it is we do, I've heard four reasons that people give for the satisfaction they get out of it:

1. The sexual stimulation (often before or after the fact -- and this has been my experience)

2. The emotional rush (often tied with the sexual stimulation, but it's a separate thing). You feel extremely intimate with another human being.

3. The feeling of power that a dominant gets (not something I'm familiar with first-hand, but I doubt any top hasn't felt it)

4. Money -- for those who do this for a living.

If you've put too much emphasis on sex in your relationships, I don't know that D/s would be much of an answer for you. You might continue doing the things that you feel you were doing wrong before, and you might do the same thing with BDSM that you were doing wrong with sex. Both can be intoxicating. And dominance won't protect you from being manipulated by men who want to use you, although the power difference can give you more opportunities to understand and test the submissive before you get too emotionally hooked on him. But you can do that in vanilla relationships too.

_____________________________

I'd rather be in
Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg

(in reply to psykocloud)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Do you think sex is expected when sceneing?? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094