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DemonKia -> RE: Submissives/Slaves/Masochists – Read This Before You Post! (11/16/2009 1:21:23 PM)
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Thanks for handing me all that power.
quote:
ORIGINAL: howahkan
This has all become to hard. You all have succeeded in breaking my spirit. I give up on everything. goodbye.
I'm gonna be super nice, tho' it may seem hard, mean, harsh, & etc. I'm gonna give the OP the summed up, short-version of what I trained myself & my offspring to . . . . .
If I feel bad, I feel bad. No one 'makes' me feel any given way, I merely have feelings in reaction to what happens around me.
I control only me, no other. I can change only me (tho' I can try to be an influence, thus why we all post here, I suspect) . . . . .
If any one of us had some magic dial on our backs by which I could 'make' us feel one way or another, I'd set them all to 'happy' & break them. (Mostly so I wouldn't have to listen to all the whining anymore . . . . . . )
[:D]
Ergo, there is no magic dial by which another 'makes' anyone feel anything. Feelings happen, they are biochemical events in the brain triggered by external & / or internal stimuli . . . . .
One owns one's own power, or one doesn't. One makes verbal choices everyday, moment-to-moment, to own or give away the power & control over one's life. & each & every word that flits thru the mind or slides out the mouth or thru the fingers is an immediate & continuous opportunity to take back that power & own one's control, power, & life again. (& words just happen to be +90% of how we interact here on CM . .. )
Try sticking to only talking about one's self, only discuss things from the perspective of "I feel . .. ", "I know . .. . . ", "My experience is . . . . . " & similar, & deliberately & thoroughly eliminate all or most of the 'you' statements in your language. Watch for that 'us versus them' mindset, & whenever one finds one's self slipping into that, force self to identify completely with both sides, especially the personally least likable side . . . .
Practice this assiduously for at least a few weeks; months would be better. The universe will probably test one's resolve, throw difficult cases one's way when it's the worst possible timing. Gird your loins. Hang tough. Do it as much as possible. I'm pretty confident that this approach has the potential to shift one's life . .. .
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