RE: question from a (mostly) straight male (Full Version)

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DesFIP -> RE: question from a (mostly) straight male (11/17/2009 11:25:31 AM)

I didnt look at your profile but over the years this does come up. Either a sub male wanting to get his fantasies fulfilled and thinking because it isn't penetrative sex, it doesn't count. Or playing with the sex you've always had a yearning to experience. So we just like to warn people, that if you feel it needful to keep it a secret, it means you know your partner won't approve.

Just be careful. All those women who wanted to know you were someone safe and trustworthy before they would meet you, you're now in their shoes. Especially if you're adding restraints, you will be vulnerable to anything. The time to find out he wants to put something molded from a horse up you for your first experience is not when you can't do anything to stop him.



LadyPact -> RE: question from a (mostly) straight male (11/17/2009 11:34:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolf2Bear

As a side note.....a male doesn't need to be romantically drawn to another male to be considered bi or gay. To answer your OP, it is possible that at this stage in your life, you understand yourself better and you are more comfortable with your sexuality enough that the concept of being roughly taken by another male is desirable? 


Thank you.

Though not part of the original question, I don't see how a person's romantic interests are especially the best way to describe themselves sexually.  After all, we really do term it bi-sexual, rather than bi-romantic.  It's what turns you on that turns you on.

Not being male Myself, I can only give you second hand information, and even that is only from the submissives that I have known.  Some males do come into these yearnings over time as repression has been replaced more with a bit of acceptance.  They find that anal stimulation can be very pleasurable and there's no need to remove that from their interests just to uphold a facade.  The same nerve endings still exist and the desires of being controlled aren't foreign.



Wantstocontrolu -> RE: question from a (mostly) straight male (11/17/2009 3:57:04 PM)

In my opinion it does not make you gay or anyother sexual orientation.
It does show your submissive side, and serves as a reminder to you as to who YOU are.



DavanKael -> RE: question from a (mostly) straight male (11/17/2009 4:13:24 PM)

In my experience, bi- doesn't just bubble up one day though perhaps having sublimated it for a long, long time and only, after a number of years on the planet, a person may feel more free or eager or an imperative to act.
  Davan 



Lucienne -> RE: question from a (mostly) straight male (11/17/2009 4:40:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: stripmymanhood

Lucienne....you are correct....and Des...i'm not married...so no partner can accuse me of cheating.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucienne

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

So discuss it with your partner before doing. And use condoms, bareback is stupid.
However the first time or times getting anal can hurt, a lot. Lots of lube and you may with to experiment at home first with a series of butt plugs so that your first time doesn't end in an ER getting sewn back up.


This is good advice, but I'd be kind of surprised if the OP is an ass virgin.





Yeah... the picture was kind of suggestive. ;) I figured you've had it from a woman and wanted to see what it would be like from a more physically overwhelming man. Des offers good advice again, in terms of making sure you know your partner. I wish you the best of luck and hope you get the pounding your ass/heart desires!



LookieNoNookie -> RE: question from a (mostly) straight male (11/17/2009 9:15:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BrokenSaint

Pretty sure that means you're at the very least a tiiinnnny bit gay.



I don't think so.

Just a tiiinnnny bit curious (about himself).



Level -> RE: question from a (mostly) straight male (11/18/2009 3:50:51 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

quote:

ORIGINAL: stripmymanhood
have you run into it often when men reach a certain age and suddenly decide they want to get fucked instead of fucking another...all through my 20s and 30s...i never had any desire of this sort...but for the last few years, i find i'm thinking more about having a man just take me...rough and hard...even now...thinking about it makes me get more of a 'stirring' than if i'm thinking about having sex with a woman....i'm just curious what your thoughts and experiences are with this.


i understand completely where you're coming from.  The fantasy that you describe is not one that i share, but i have had similar feelings about other fantasies. 

As i get older, i find that i am much more comfortable in my own skin.  i don't really care what others think anymore.  At this stage in life, i am much more into self-exploration.  i want to learn new things, and explore new areas.  Many of the things that used to get me excited when i was in my 20's don't excite me as much anymore.  i've had to try new things to get the same level of arousal/satisfaction that a simple blowjob would give me when i was 20.  That's pretty normal. 

Sexual activity is often like drugs; over time, it takes larger doses or new drugs to get the same level of high.

It sounds to me like you are at a place in life where you are comfortable in your own skin, and you are now willing to explore new sexual areas.  In my opinion, as long as what you are doing isn't illegal, or doesn't hurt anyone (who doesn't want to be hurt), then go for it.  After trying it, you may discover that you hate it.  Or you may find that you love it.  But the only way to know is to try.  Heck, some of the things that i've enjoyed most were things that i was originally scared or reluctant to try.

So go ahead and give it a shot.  If you find that you like being taken by a man, then cool.  If you find that you don't like it, then don't do it again.  Either way, at least you'll know.  Life is too short to deny ourselves our fantasies because we are too scared to make them our realities.

BTW, ignore all of those people who tried to label you.  Who cares if they think it is "gay" or "bi" or whatever?  That wasn't your question.  Their labels are irrelevant.



Excellent post.



Aileen1968 -> RE: question from a (mostly) straight male (11/18/2009 4:23:27 AM)

I'm casting my vote for bi. There is a huge difference between wanting anal stimulation from a dildo and wanting it from another man. One feels good and is not gay. One feels good and is gay. Have fun and glove up for love.



Wolf2Bear -> RE: question from a (mostly) straight male (11/18/2009 9:58:18 AM)

edited and removed.



Lucienne -> RE: question from a (mostly) straight male (11/18/2009 10:04:39 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

I'm casting my vote for bi. There is a huge difference between wanting anal stimulation from a dildo and wanting it from another man. One feels good and is not gay. One feels good and is gay. Have fun and glove up for love.


Yeah, but at this point, I don't think he has any truth in labeling issues. If he goes on craigslist and identifies as a (mostly) straight male looking to be taken by a man, all comers (sorry, couldn't stop the pun) know what is on offer.

ETA: OP, if you need any help drafting an ad or someone to hold the camera, PM me!



sunshinemiss -> RE: question from a (mostly) straight male (11/18/2009 11:30:12 AM)

You know, I don't know what the stats are but it is an interesting question.  Biologically as men age, their hormones change, and estrogen can have more power than previously.  I am betting that Kinsey would have an answer. 

Fascinating idea.  YOU get a cookie!



stripmymanhood -> RE: question from a (mostly) straight male (11/18/2009 12:58:05 PM)

you've got a deal, Lucienne :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucienne

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

I'm casting my vote for bi. There is a huge difference between wanting anal stimulation from a dildo and wanting it from another man. One feels good and is not gay. One feels good and is gay. Have fun and glove up for love.


Yeah, but at this point, I don't think he has any truth in labeling issues. If he goes on craigslist and identifies as a (mostly) straight male looking to be taken by a man, all comers (sorry, couldn't stop the pun) know what is on offer.

ETA: OP, if you need any help drafting an ad or someone to hold the camera, PM me!





stripmymanhood -> RE: question from a (mostly) straight male (11/18/2009 1:02:01 PM)

ok...i guess maybe in some senses i wasn't really clear...i'm really not looking for everyone to label me....though that does seem to be a fairly popular pastime here...i was asking the Masters if my situation was something they ran into often...feel free to keep labeling...as i find it amusing...as for myself...i think of myself as heteroflexible or bi-curious/willing snice i don't feel romantic towards men...but if you want to call it bi, a teeny tiny bit gay...no problem.



BKSir -> RE: question from a (mostly) straight male (11/18/2009 1:13:00 PM)

This thread is now reminding me of the "Everybody's a little bit gay" (The bit starts around 1:20) bit from Margaret Cho's show, Notorious C.H.O.  [:D]
Actually, your situation though, is very common.  More than one might imagine. 

Sunshinemiss pretty much hit the nail on the head though.  According to Kinsey's research most people, the overwhelming majority, are actually bisexual to some degree or another.  And, that degree can, and normally does change over time. 

Also, people do develop significantly differently.  It's not terribly uncommon to find someone in their 40s or 50s or even older suddenly beginning to question their sexuality, noticing feelings that were either suppressed subconsciously, or were truly and literally never there before.

As far as being bi though, if you are, you're lucky.  You've just doubled your chances of getting some. [:D]

And frankly, if you are interested in such a thing, go ahead and try it.  Be safe though, condoms cost between free and 50cents each.  STD treatments cost a LOT more. [;)]

What's the worst that happens?  You try it, find out you don't like it, now you know and that's out of the way.  All you lost was one evening's worth of time and possibly a few bucks at the bar and/or restaurant.  A pretty decent exchange for an experience you won't forget either way, possibly a little bit of an epiphany, and an answer to a question that's been on your mind.

Best case scenario, you discover, "Hey!  I really do like that!  That was awesome!  Can I get your number?" [:D]

Best of luck to you in this hon.  And don't fret it too much, after all, it's just sex.



vinylchick42 -> RE: question from a (mostly) straight male (11/27/2009 8:51:12 AM)

what is 'mostly straight'? is that like 'sorta pregnant'?



Lucienne -> RE: question from a (mostly) straight male (11/27/2009 9:49:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: vinylchick42

what is 'mostly straight'? is that like 'sorta pregnant'?


Oh, for pete's sake. I think it's pretty obvious what it means. And if you insist on stretching it out to a reproductive metaphor, I'd say that "mostly straight" would be the equivalent of ovulation.



AquaticSub -> RE: question from a (mostly) straight male (11/27/2009 10:21:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: stripmymanhood

Thank you for getting to the crux of what i was saying...i do lean more towards the hetero than gay...and i dont' see myself having romantic feelings towards men...so i think my description, while apparently controversial, is fairly accurate.


I don't. Your sexual orientation is about the genders you want to bang. It's not your romantic orientation. The two just usually line up.



Lucienne -> RE: question from a (mostly) straight male (11/27/2009 10:32:25 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

I don't. Your sexual orientation is about the genders you want to bang. It's not your romantic orientation. The two just usually line up.


It may not be as precise as you think it should be, but how is it inaccurate? It's just kind of a big flag saying "ask me in more detail about the contours of my sexuality." Not everyone is comfortable with labels. I think his description gives potential partners enough heads up (I seem to have caught a pun bug this week) as to the situation to know to ask for more detail as they require.

We're talking about a guy with the handle "strip my manhood," who is exploring the possibility of being sexually dominated by a man. I'm not really worried about the guy clinging to vestiges of hetero-normative privilege. It's not like Larry Craig saying "I'm mostly straight."



stripmymanhood -> RE: question from a (mostly) straight male (11/27/2009 3:50:58 PM)

thank you Lucienne...for getting my reasoning...it seems many don't agree with it...but perhaps there are ways they describe themselves that i wouldn't agree with...you can't make everyone happy, i guess...but it's good to see someone knows what i mean by the term...one thing i've found over the years in bdsm is that when people describe themself differently....it becomes a challenge...especially in a forum like this, to try and get someone to change their mind...




Elisabella -> RE: question from a (mostly) straight male (11/27/2009 3:58:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

While i generally agree with this, i say mostly straight as i don't feel any romantic feelings towards men...just mainly into the sex part there
this is one of the stupidest things i have read lately.

Dude..."mostly straight" is not considered a sexual orientation...



Actually I identify as "heteroflexible" for the same reason - to me saying I'm bisexual means that I'd be interested in having a committed relationship with a woman, rather than "I like to make out with girls sometimes and tie them up for my boyfriend."

If someone feels that he doesn't fit any of the three standard sexual orientations and comes up with his own word to describe himself, I don't see why anyone should deny him that or even call him stupid because he doesn't want to label himself the same way you want to label him.



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