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CelticSubM -> RE: question from a (mostly) straight male (11/27/2009 6:00:42 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: peppermint
I've seen what you describe in men who are in their 50s and 60s. The reason, I believe is that these men are still highly sexual but it's not so easy to find a female partner anymore. It's not like 30 years ago when it was nothing to pick up some girl at a bar, take her home, and do the deed. First, AIDS changed the pick up scene. Second, when a man is getting older he is not as attractive to as many women as he was when he was 25, young, dumb, and full of cum.
As a result these men who 20 years ago might have been gay bashing are now thinking that being sexual with a man might not be such a bad idea. These very same men will often return to considering themselves heterosexual if and when they find a regular female partner.
Generally speaking, it's easier for men in their 50's and 60's to find a female partner. Women have a longer life expectancy than men, and most women prefer a partner their own age or older. That means the pool of potential partners for a man over 50 is much larger than for a woman the same age. (Remember the movie Something's Gotta Give? That was comedy, but there is a lot of truth in the premise.)
As a man over fifty who has no same sex experiences or desires, I suppose I'm not the ideal one to be responding to this issue. I suspect that there are many submissives (and dominants) for whom the lure of the forbidden, the transgressive is very strong. Some may choose to experience same sex activity for that reason alone. For others, it may be simply a form of "one-upmanship". Some dominants and submissives seem to have a kind of arms race mentality, as if they are engaged in a competition to see who can demand or offer the most extreme acts.
The major factor though, I suspect, is simply that the societal stigma attached to same sex activities has decreased enormously over the last generation. The emergence of a pansexual bdsm community has made same sex connections available to many persons who wouldn't have known how to go about finding them previously. That means the threshold, the level of interest or desire needed for someone to experiment with same sex eroticism, is a lot lower than it was a generation ago. Hence there are probably a lot of men over 50 who always had some curiosity or interest, but not enough to make it seem worthwhile to do anything about it. Now that it's easier to do something about it, many of those will choose to do so.
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