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RE: Rude People and Responses - 11/17/2009 7:05:02 AM   
MisfitKat


Posts: 13
Joined: 4/16/2008
Status: offline 		I try to reply to the majority of my emails. I do this because well I am polite. However there are those that I do not reply to because  the format is so that there is no way to reply without possibly getting into a convo you dont want. I mean some people go beyound  emailing me lude proposals to extreme degrading remarks that only seem to be justified  in by replying. So if I find it overly offensive then I will just ignore the email and not give them the gradifaction of the insult.

(in reply to JBGolden)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Rude People and Responses - 11/17/2009 7:28:43 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I'm actually going to disagree with some of the advice that MsStarlet gave here.  If someone is not interested in you, they aren't interested in you and you should move along.  There's no reason to continue contacting someone who doesn't want contact from you for whatever reason.  Imagine her hypothetical bar again, but this time, when the guy gets shot down, he just makes his circle around the ladies and then starts over going back to the woman who rejected him the first time, just so he can hear her tell him no again.  I'm more of the opinion that if someone has said no, that should suffice.

My main question is: Do you think some people don't like to respond back (especially when they're not interested) because they're so jaded they might get insulted or tore into?

This does happen a lot.  Many people don't deal with rejection well, even when you've been nice about it.  Quite often, I'm not because had the person bothered to read the information that I've provided (My profile) I wouldn't have had My time wasted in the first place.  I'd be willing to bet that darn near every female here could tell you that they've received derogatory comments back from males here that they weren't interested in.  Personally, that's why I just block those who mail Me that I reject.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to MisfitKat)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Rude People and Responses - 11/17/2009 7:39:11 AM   
Aneirin


Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
Status: offline 		I got one for you, anyone who receives a rude c-mail, report them. Or how is it people expect this place to become more polite and realistic.

Now I don't know what the action is when a profile is reported, what exactly happens, but if rude people are brought to the attention of the management, who knows it might actually help, it might go some way to ridding the scrotes and cleaning this place up a bit, self policing if you like.

If no one complains, no one in charge will know and there nothing will be done, except real people will become disillusioned and probably look elsewhere for a website that does offer something different from here.



_____________________________

Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha

Conservatism is distrust of people tempered by fear - William Gladstone

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Rude People and Responses - 11/17/2009 7:43:16 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		If I was in charge of this place (scary thought I know) and people starting emailing me about every single rude email they received I would create a brief form letter that said something like this.

"I am sorry your fragile ego was bruised. GET OVER IT!"

And then boot the whiner off the site permanently.

It is one thing if someone is being harassed and getting nasty abusive emails. 'Rude' is too subjective and not worth the time it takes to type an email.

Edited to add......I just love the title of a news story I just read. "As the Rude get Ruder, the Scolders get Scoldier" I love it!!

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 11/17/2009 8:23:02 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Aneirin)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Rude People and Responses - 11/17/2009 8:34:30 AM   
Aneirin


Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
Status: offline 		We live in an ever increasing rude and abusive world, media shows us this, do we really want this, are we happy with it all, or can things be made better.

At one time, the utterance of the word Damn as in damned was seen as a horrific word to use in the description of something or the exclamation of something. The word used in media raised eyebrows with many, now look what we have, damn, what's that ?

Also at one time, and not so long ago either people were treated with the common courtesy they would expect themselves, they spoke how they would like to be spoken to and treated the way they would like to be treated themselves. Was there anything wrong with this ? Where has it gone ? Why ?

Personally, my approach to anyone, be it realspace or cyberspace, is the same, I go by the above tennants written in italics, that old ideal of courtesy, I still foster, as a model for my present and  future, my choice, as I believe in others and myself, I see the better in people before the worst, rude behaviour can be quick to change my mind as regards a person, I just move on, but more jaded each time. Every instance of rude behaviour takes it's toll, for it erodes belief in people.


_____________________________

Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha

Conservatism is distrust of people tempered by fear - William Gladstone

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Rude People and Responses - 11/17/2009 8:46:42 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Aneirin, I do not think you are understanding my point at all. Rude IS VERY subjective. It varies with societies, communities, families, and individuals. For ME to try and impose MY standards on others at large, IS RUDE.

Example: Some people feel that a lack of reply to an email from a random stranger is rude, I don't. I think sending someone a childishly nasty email all because someone disagreed with you on the forums is rude and silly. Apparently others do not, or do not care. I feel that bringing much of one's personal relationship drama into the public eye is rude and in poor taste. It is abundantly clear to me, after reading these forums, others do not agree with me.

If I do not like someone's behaviour, I remove myself from their company. If that person is under my personal control, I can advise them to change their ways. However, very few people are. Personally, I feel that the best line of defense is to behave as I wish others to behave. Anything else is ridiculous.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 11/17/2009 8:51:31 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Aneirin)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Rude People and Responses - 11/17/2009 10:08:23 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

If I do not like someone's behaviour, I remove myself from their company. If that person is under my personal control, I can advise them to change their ways.
and there is no doubt you advise them politely...right before you smack 'em a good one!

_____________________________

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(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Rude People and Responses - 11/17/2009 10:12:53 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

I got one for you, anyone who receives a rude c-mail, report them. Or how is it people expect this place to become more polite and realistic.
come on...do you really think the powers that be are going to appreciate getting bombarded in that manner? The one doing the reporting will soon have a well earned reputation as a whiny cry-baby who needs to toughen the hell up.

I am not saying threatening or harassing c-mails should not be reported, but "rude" is subjective. What you see as rude, others may not.



< Message edited by sirsholly -- 11/17/2009 10:14:21 AM >

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to Aneirin)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Rude People and Responses - 11/17/2009 10:24:46 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Does anybody want to buy any aluminum  siding?


(same concept-  we be SELLING shtt!)

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Rude People and Responses - 11/17/2009 10:28:44 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

We live in an ever increasing rude and abusive world, media shows us this, do we really want this, are we happy with it all, or can things be made better.

At one time, the utterance of the word Damn as in damned was seen as a horrific word to use in the description of something or the exclamation of something. The word used in media raised eyebrows with many, now look what we have, damn, what's that ?

Also at one time, and not so long ago either people were treated with the common courtesy they would expect themselves, they spoke how they would like to be spoken to and treated the way they would like to be treated themselves. Was there anything wrong with this ? Where has it gone ? Why ?

Personally, my approach to anyone, be it realspace or cyberspace, is the same, I go by the above tennants written in italics, that old ideal of courtesy, I still foster, as a model for my present and  future, my choice, as I believe in others and myself, I see the better in people before the worst, rude behaviour can be quick to change my mind as regards a person, I just move on, but more jaded each time. Every instance of rude behaviour takes it's toll, for it erodes belief in people.



So your solution to this is to control everyone's behavior, even when they have not consensually given you the power to do so?

Personally, I'd rather stick with free speech.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Aneirin)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Rude People and Responses - 11/17/2009 11:49:58 AM   
Viridana


Posts: 754
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JBGolden

I ask because it's frustrating since I like to get responses when I message somebody. Even if they're not interested.


I know it is frustrating. I too would like to answer all the mail I get, even if it is just to say thanks, but no thanks. I did so in the beginning, but soon stopped. It appears that very many don't handle rejection very well. When I answered back with my thanks, but no thanks, it was like I opened a door into another dimension where insults were hurled at me with immense creativity, vigor and pure spite, some even couldn't let one venom filled email suffice, I got multiple ones.

I don't take those insults seriously though, but I can become a bit annoyed when I'm having a bad day and I see no reason to put myself into a position of being possibly annoyed. So the easiest thing is to just not respond.

I'm sure you're a nice guy, don't take the lack of replies personally because it really isn't.

(in reply to JBGolden)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Rude People and Responses - 11/17/2009 11:53:18 AM   
Viridana


Posts: 754
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

I got one for you, anyone who receives a rude c-mail, report them.


I very much doubt that the moderators have the manpower or time to go over all the reports.

(in reply to Aneirin)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Rude People and Responses - 11/17/2009 12:19:15 PM   
daintydimples


Posts: 967
Joined: 7/6/2009
Status: offline 		I do not take rudeness from strangers personally. Why would you do so? To take it personally gives them *power* over you.

Why on earth would I allow a rude stranger to have power over me?


_____________________________

Some soften by the forced reflection that comes from loss; others harden. Which are you?




(in reply to Viridana)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Rude People and Responses - 11/17/2009 12:23:06 PM   
divi


Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		Honestly I don't get rude mail.  I do get stupid emails time to time.  But I do delete and go my merry way.  Those who do get offended by such rude emails should sign off and get over it.

_____________________________

( imho )

I really could use a wish right now

(in reply to Viridana)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Rude People and Responses - 11/17/2009 12:25:20 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JBGolden

My main question is: Do you think some people don't like to respond back (especially when they're not interested) because they're so jaded they might get insulted or tore into?



Half the time, that's exactly why I simply don't respond. The other half is because even if I tell them "no thanks" they don't fucking give up. They keep messaging me. Even when I've said "You know this is getting really pathetic?" they go "I know but I want you" and it doesn't frikkin' end until I stop responding.

Sometimes I just don't see the point of even starting the process.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to JBGolden)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Rude People and Responses - 11/17/2009 12:27:18 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

 Imagine her hypothetical bar again, but this time, when the guy gets shot down, he just makes his circle around the ladies and then starts over going back to the woman who rejected him the first time, just so he can hear her tell him no again.  I'm more of the opinion that if someone has said no, that should suffice.


I had that happen to me in a real bar recently. It was... interesting to say the least.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Rude People and Responses - 11/17/2009 12:28:52 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		How about waiting until someone enters into a dialogue with you and establishes some sort of relationship with you before forming an opinion as to their character or civility?

I mean, let's face it, feelings only really count when there's some sort of relationship between two people.

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(in reply to MisfitKat)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Rude People and Responses - 11/17/2009 12:28:54 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JBGolden

I'm more interested in getting guys (and other people) to stop doing this since it just ruins things for everybody.



I don't think it ruins things for anyone honestly. I know I might not get responses when I contact people but I'll still shoot off a quick message telling them what I think is interesting about them. Takes five or ten minutes. Might hear back, might not. Worth a shot.   

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to JBGolden)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Rude People and Responses - 11/17/2009 3:06:24 PM   
JBGolden


Posts: 75
Joined: 11/13/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

How about waiting until someone enters into a dialogue with you and establishes some sort of relationship with you before forming an opinion as to their character or civility?

I mean, let's face it, feelings only really count when there's some sort of relationship between two people.


Who says I form an opinion? Why do you think I kept my question open ended? I don't believe this is how *everybody* acts but, as has been shown in this very topic, it does happen to some people and some people do feel that way.

Maybe I should clarify something: I know I said that I felt frustrated when I don't get a reply. I don't mean 'Rage against the gods!' frustrated. A bit dismayed that they're not interested then I move on. I don't start thinking about why they didn't respond, I don't start casting aspersions against their character, I don't believe that I am *entitled* to them responding to me.

Do I wish they would? Of course. But that's as far as I go. Like I said, people have their tastes. And for me to assume anything about what they would do is wrong.

So, I hope that explains my way of thinking a bit.

(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Rude People and Responses - 11/17/2009 5:38:16 PM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Would anyone like to have their basement water proofed?

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(in reply to JBGolden)
Profile   Post #: 40
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