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Nasty Dominant Males:( - 3/12/2006 5:46:36 AM   
SlavepetEnslaver


Posts: 16
Joined: 3/10/2006
Status: offline 		Hello

I've noticed something that has been happen lately,not specifically on this site, but in general, I've been getting some nasty messages from some dom males about how I am a fake being new to being a domme and that I am only doing it for attention,that women are inferior to men,etc. Honestly I am the type of dominant who is very new to the lifestyle, I apologize if this has always been asked in the past but I've been wondering......why do other dominants enjoy being so rude to another dominant? Ever since I found this was the way for me, it felt so natural that I wouldn't even think of switching ot submitting. Several male doms seem to think its fun to try to make me submit or for me to force them to submis. I don't see the point in that, since I could easily find a submissive male who would submit easily. LOL...and I have proof of that from the hundreds of messages waiting for me on this site that I've been trying to get back to finding what I desire.
Just wanted to see if this...is normal for collarme and in general in BDSM for the male dom to be downright nasty towards the femdom?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Nasty Dominant Males:( - 3/12/2006 6:00:15 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		No matter what community or group it is there is always the likelyhood that there will be an arsehole element who enjoys putting others down and will go out of their way to do so for no reason. More so on the net where they can hide behind their keyboard.

The one thing I will say, you are a Domme? Then why let it effect you? They are obviously just idiots beneath your concern, treat them as such, hit block and delete, then forget about them.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to SlavepetEnslaver)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Nasty Dominant Males:( - 3/12/2006 6:06:46 AM   
SlavepetEnslaver


Posts: 16
Joined: 3/10/2006
Status: offline 		I may be a dominant but getting messages will effect anyone within itself, its not really bothersome its more as an annoysome aspect, I respect anyone, and I normally delete them anyways but I was just asking since I was curious as if it was normal or not for something to happen on a site as this one like this, in real life I am clearly in control of my life in many forms. Personally I respect anyone despite the role they choose or their gender, I've had a few submit to me in real but I am stil rather new to the lifestyle, it was more of curiousity that I was asking rather than it being anything that was bothering me and to know if its normal;) II do understand the question though lol

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Nasty Dominant Males:( - 3/12/2006 6:17:27 AM   
TeeGO


Posts: 451
Joined: 12/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SlavepetEnslaver

Just wanted to see if this...is normal for collarme and in general in BDSM for the male dom to be downright nasty towards the femdom?


No way, far from it.

Understand this, that those rude people are not true Doms or Masters. They are wannabes, insecure and most probably subbies are not strong enough to face the reality of who they are. Frustration makes them feel a need to lash out at that which they most truly desire.

The true Doms I have meet feel no need to convince you they are what they are.

For the true at heart Dom, Domme, sub, switch etc. Respect for others in the lifestyle is a most telling trait. If you give respect, but get none back. It's time to move on and ignore the little putz's.

(in reply to SlavepetEnslaver)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Nasty Dominant Males:( - 3/12/2006 6:25:30 AM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline 		I see by your profile that you just joined the site. Welcome to the site & welcome to the boards.

There is a setting that shows new members as a preference. You were the fresh meat tossed in the shark pool.

Being new it will take you some time to distinguish the net-jerks from the truly sincere people.

_____________________________

MstrssPassion


(in reply to SlavepetEnslaver)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Nasty Dominant Males:( - 3/12/2006 6:31:17 AM   
SlavepetEnslaver


Posts: 16
Joined: 3/10/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you for the responses, yes I am quite new I joined a few days ago, I was startled at some of the emails, I've been getting but of course I realize that the delete button will be in progress for some time with those who seem like the net jerks and fakes, thank you for both for answering my questions, I look forward to discover more about this site, I've already found some potentional slaves that I am considering in meeting after time of getting to know them.

I am glad to see that not all the male doms are like the impression I got from them.;)

(in reply to MstrssPassion)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Nasty Dominant Males:( - 3/12/2006 7:40:44 AM   
fergus


Posts: 1110
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		SlavepetEnlslaver,

From one NJ person to another, WELCOME TO CM! :)

Alright, is it normal for Dom males to be jerks? No, not particularly.

Is it normal for PEOPLE to be jerks? Yes, indeed.

Doesn't matter what segment of the population you find yourself with, there will be some jerks. For MANY reasons relating to the dynamics of age, gender, newness, etc ... you are hearing from the Dom male jerls most.

So here is a quick (and hopefully reassuring) breakdown.

There are jerks in BDSM (in every catagory). They often have little to do except complain to others (this is what makes them jerks). Not all are jerks, and in fact most are not.

There are good people in BDSM (in every catagory). They tend to be a greater number, though less vocal, but with patience and intuition, you will find them :)

With regard to jerks vs. godd people, BDSM is no different that any other walk of life.

Good luck, and I hope you find the good people :)
fergus

(in reply to SlavepetEnslaver)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Nasty Dominant Males:( - 3/12/2006 7:54:57 AM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		SlavepetEnslaver,

I haven't looked at your profile on the other side of CM so I don't know how long you've been a member here, but when I first joined My inbox was flooded with all sorts of nasty emails.

I never bothered to determine whether they came from other Dommes posing as submales just trying to determine what kind of new Cat was prowling in what they felt was Their back alley, or whether they came from r/l male Doms who were just PigMales, whether they came from Law Enforcement entities trying to bait Me into responding, whether they came from commercial site pfishing expurts, or whether they came from just plain cyber-psychos who tend to lurk about everywhere on the internet.

I didn't much care. That's what the block button is for. Use it, and lose 'em.

Texas Maam

(in reply to SlavepetEnslaver)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Nasty Dominant Males:( - 3/12/2006 8:03:25 AM   
Marquise


Posts: 12
Joined: 10/12/2005
Status: offline 		One can delete an insult, but the bitter aftertaste lingers for a while.

All I can advice is to shake it off, smile and keep walking with head up. You are who you are, you are who you feel you are. It does not matter what some idiot says. He would probably roll his tail and run if he had to say it face to face.

There are many great people around. Stick with the good ones and let the idiots swarm and weep in dark cellars.

Anyway, welcome.


< Message edited by Marquise -- 3/12/2006 8:07:23 AM >

(in reply to SlavepetEnslaver)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Nasty Dominant Males:( - 3/12/2006 10:33:11 AM   
LadyJC


Posts: 111
Joined: 5/18/2005
Status: offline 		I've found personally there are quite a few male doms that are sexist, it's rather irritating and as you say, annoysome.
I've had so many doms inform me repeatedly that I'm really a submissive but I just haven't found the right dom yet. No that's not true. I tell friends of mine and they laugh their heads off.
I get irl and on the net. I had a sub call me fat one day because I refused to talk to him online. He didn't follow the rule in the channel. He got mad and called me fat. I've had that happen before, it doesn't bother me and I can live shake it off, and move on. So you will find at least one of these every where you go.
Yes they are very insecure and some of them it's arrogance, and they feel they have to prove themselves. It gets rather aggravating at times just wanna throw them up on the cross myself and beat them. But I respect the decision they made and I just avoid them at all possible costs. Yes delete and ignore can be wondeful buttons on this site. Good luck with those prospects.
Lady JC

(in reply to Marquise)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Nasty Dominant Males:( - 3/12/2006 11:56:30 AM   
MistressSassy66


Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline 		I agree,its annoying to be told Your a submissive when You know Your a Domme.

If I had a dollar for everytime a supposed submissive called Me names because I'm not interested in them....I'd be rich I tell ya...lol

Welcome to CM

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to LadyJC)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Nasty Dominant Males:( - 3/12/2006 12:08:26 PM   
CERCKL


Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline 		The internet is a good place to hide...how many would say this to you, looking you in the eyes? As for it affecting you...why let it? We create our world through our perspectives...perhaps a thought from my youth "Everyone's an asshole until proven otherwise" I still use that sometimes sarcasticly but in my teens/twenties I found that way I was never disappointed and sometimes surprised...LOL.
C

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Nasty Dominant Males:( - 3/12/2006 3:26:14 PM   
MsKyln


Posts: 32
Joined: 4/22/2005
Status: offline 		Just wanted to see if this...is normal for collarme and in general in BDSM for the male dom to be downright nasty towards the femdom?

Welcome to CM SlavepetEnslaver, nice to meet a new Domme Sister ;

Hi Unfortunetly the nasty mail is received on all boards , especially by those you may ignore or reject , and ... LOL ... Like MistressSassy "If I had a dollar for every time.... Ive been told youre only a Domme because you havent found the right DOM . Thank goodness along with the nasty people you also find Great people who make the best of friends . Best of Luck to you !

MsKyln

(in reply to MistressSassy66)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Nasty Dominant Males:( - 3/12/2006 3:38:57 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		They are knuckle draggers so don't even worry about it. I tell such fodder they can lick the heel of my stiletto boot after I kick them in the arse with it. Men like that are insecure and feel they have to pick on someone to make themselves feel superior, since they so obviously aren't superior in anyway.

Your a Domme, you know it and thats all that matters.

Lashra

(in reply to MsKyln)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Nasty Dominant Males:( - 3/12/2006 3:52:42 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline 		To the OP....first, welcome to the boards. I see on your profile on the other side this is nto the first time you have been a member. Personally, I don't think in the time I have been on this site, that I have received at most one or two emails that doubted by dominance. Don't get me wrong, I have had many nasty emails, chuckles, but none along those lines. The thing on your profile that jumps to my view first, is that at one point you considered yourself submissive and have since learned differently about yourself. That may possibly be why the idiots that are emailing you concerning this subject are trying to persuade you that you should still submit to their "domliness".


Wannabes abound everywhere in life, online and real life, lifestyle and non-lifestyle. If you are comfortable with what you are (as you should be, smiles) who cares what others, ANY of them, think, good or bad? Good luck in your new direction in WIITWD, smiles.....

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Nasty Dominant Males:( - 3/12/2006 4:38:26 PM   
RosaB


Posts: 852
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline 		SlavepetEnslaver,

Yes, it happens on CM, on other sites and outside of cyberspace, there's always going to be some bad mixed in with the good. Just another part of dealing with day to day life.


The emails you are getting have nothing to do with you, your profile or the position of the moon. Some people are just jerks. You will get people with their own agenda based on their own warped ideas of the powers they believe they harness. Many of us get all kinds of fun emails from all orientations. In the beginning, I found them offensive, but now I'm just amused and the ones where the doms actually have their pics included when they send the messages saying nice tits, well, life just never stops amazing me. I'm thinking of copying some of those boys pictures and printing them out to use for my dart board. Just think of all the fun things you can do with the pics if they include them with the messages. . And let me be clear about something, jerkdom is by no way limited to one sex. My first semi-stalker on this site was a woman and though I list myself as straight interested in males, I get emails and nude pics of women on occassion.




Rosa



< Message edited by RosaB -- 3/12/2006 4:44:42 PM >

(in reply to SlavepetEnslaver)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Nasty Dominant Males:( - 3/12/2006 4:46:21 PM   
MarinaBlack


Posts: 121
Joined: 8/6/2005
Status: offline 		Ah, yes...The Asshole Male "Dom".
Get used to it.
The source of this behaviour is extreme insecurity and there are a lot of very insecure people out there - there are feminine variants on this behaviourm which I won't get into.

You will find yourself receiving stupid messages on sites like this one and dealing with rude, obnoxious and even offensive approahes in real llife at munches and events.

Insecure jerk-offs with no regard for healthy social interaction or boundaries. That would like to believe (I don't think they really believe it) that "there is not such thing as a FemDomme) and that all women in the end must submit to a male - especially him.
They will try to top you verbally and make inappropriate sexual remarks.

There is nothing you can do about this as there is no magic wand to make everyone a healthy and sound individual.
The best you can do is not engage them with any replies. I mean not one. If they are merely rude to you just hit the delete button (one of my favourite inventions ever) and if the message is overtly vulgar you can report it to the folks at collarme (there is a function that says report sender).
Hopefully the people here take such abuses seriously enough and it certainly does not encourage people to use the site if they do not take it seriously.

Just remember this... You're here for your reasons. Don't let a bunch of socially retarded idiots (who aren't even in the same room as you) interfere with what you're here for. If you let them do that, they've won.

Take care and be strong.

(in reply to SlavepetEnslaver)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Nasty Dominant Males:( - 3/12/2006 5:04:19 PM   
PlayfulOne


Posts: 1047
Status: offline 		Slavepet Enslaver,

Idiots abound they also come in all flavors. what you have written in your profile most times does not matter, they just ignore it. All you can do is laugh and move on, of course I am prone to answering with something to make them get spitting mad, though my little one also tells me I should stop making sport of them.

My little one's profile plainly states she is owned and she gets horrid mail, amazingly enough to me most of it comes from "dommes". Some of that mail has left me dunbfounded at times, I guess I was to naive, "laughs" and never expected some of the ladies to behave like men.

BTW, welcome to the fun , while the males may be asses the "Men"most never are.

K


(in reply to MarinaBlack)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Nasty Dominant Males:( - 3/12/2006 5:29:59 PM   
Cloudz


Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline 		Welcome to the Domme side!

You've heard it all already...here at CM as everywhere else we have the good, the bad, and the ugly. Hang out for a bit...like cream all the best ones rise to the surface :)

Be well,

_____________________________

Enjoy the Journey,
~Cloudz

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."


(in reply to SlavepetEnslaver)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Nasty Dominant Males:( - 3/12/2006 5:42:29 PM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kc692

To the OP....first, welcome to the boards. I see on your profile on the other side this is nto the first time you have been a member. Personally, I don't think in the time I have been on this site, that I have received at most one or two emails that doubted by dominance. Don't get me wrong, I have had many nasty emails, chuckles, but none along those lines. The thing on your profile that jumps to my view first, is that at one point you considered yourself submissive and have since learned differently about yourself. That may possibly be why the idiots that are emailing you concerning this subject are trying to persuade you that you should still submit to their "domliness".



**Waves to KC**
This is precisely what I was going to write. I have not received more than a small handful of these types of emails in the almost 3 years I have been a member. I get the disrespectful idiots, but have hardly ever had emails which question My Dominance or suggest that I should submit.
So My first thought also was that you are making it clear on your profile that not only are you new to this, but you used to be a submissive to boot.
A bit too tempting for some of the male D types, and you have probably heard or will hear from all of them. Just shake it off and hit that block button!
Welcome, and hope to see you at the boards often!

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


(in reply to kc692)
Profile   Post #: 20
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