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RE: Training for Dominants? - 3/16/2006 5:34:51 AM

MrThorns

Posts: 919
Joined: 6/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tx061
Hi!

I am new to this lifestyle and wish to be a Dom. Does one become a submissive first to learn what it is about?

I don't believe that a dominant can "become" submissive or visa-versa. Dominance or submissiveness is something that resonates within you, although there are plenty of people who can and do roleplay dominance or submission.

I do think that it would be wise to study up on submission and some of the feelings that submissives/slaves go through during a scene as well as in day-to-day life. Learn something about human anatomy, basics of "scene safety", (I'm not turning this into a SSC vs RACK debate, btw), toy care/cleaning, First Aid, CPR, and certain topics regarding BDSM that you find especially intriguing.

I would suggest getting involved with local groups and talk to everyone you can, regardless of where they sit on a power/authority scale. Maybe you will be lucky enough to find a mentor, but even if you don't...you will get some exposure to a wide variety of ideas and philosophies which may assist you in deciding what is right for you.

Good luck,

~Thorns

_____________________________

~"Do you know what the chain of command is? Its the chain I beat ya with when ya don't follow my command."

"My inner child is a mean little fucker"

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RE: Training for Dominants? - 3/16/2006 5:51:36 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

For those who contacted me privately regarding my post her on this thread, Firstly i do appreciat the respect given by wanting to voice your opinions privately.

Secondly, the method I outlined is the way I was trained by my Father on school holidays. It was how my late Sensai trained personal students myself included and is based on some of the training in the Shaolin Temple.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

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RE: Training for Dominants? - 3/18/2006 4:40:50 PM

erebus

Posts: 169
Joined: 1/15/2004
Status: offline

I'm going to assume you mean 'dom training'. I belonged to several groups, and one domme offered to train me as a dominant. She said she wanted me to submit to her, and she would use various toys on me.

I declined. I suspect she just wanted to beat my ass and crush my balls. She is quite a cruel domme, as I've seen since then. I think I'd still be walking funny if I let her have her way with me.

Seriously, practice makes perfect. Be honest about your lack of experience. Go to a bunch of demonstrations and play parties. Read all about it. Get on an on-line auction site and buy some books.

It's a wonderful empowering lifestyle. Good luck to you, and have a good time learning.

BTW, I certainly do agree with the distinction between topping and domming.

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Post #: 23

RE: Training for Dominants? - 3/19/2006 9:48:03 AM

tx061

Posts: 4
Joined: 3/12/2006
Status: offline

I have been reading this thread and thinking about what everyone has said. I have also spoken with someone locally about it. It sounds like I need to step back and look at the picture and see where I am in it.
Part of my first decision on Dom was the idea that a man is supposed to be in control of everything. That a man would look weak if he was not a Dom.
I appreciate everyones input on this subject.

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Post #: 24