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Chastity - 11/20/2009 5:57:17 AM   
subwaldo


Posts: 1
Joined: 8/29/2009
Status: offline 		My fiance is starting to take to the concept of a female led relationship.  To that end, she determined I was masterbating and decided to lock me up.  I am currently wearing a Birdlocked device.  At first, I was into this, but it is starting to get out of hand.  She has the keys and won't let me out.

Any ideas on how I can convince her to be more reasonable?

Thanks.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Chastity - 11/20/2009 6:07:51 AM   
Tinkerer


Posts: 136
Joined: 7/18/2008
Status: offline 		Have you read the "Chastity, when it's not fun anymore" thread? There are a LOT of good suggestions in there. I think it can be found in the "Ask a Mistress" section.

Have you asked her why she doesn't want to let you out? What does she say?

(in reply to subwaldo)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Chastity - 11/20/2009 6:20:12 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I thought you wanted her to be in control.

It sounds like your post is saying, "I want her to Dominate me, but only in MY way."

If you want to be sub to her... then submit.


_____________________________

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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(in reply to Tinkerer)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Chastity - 11/20/2009 9:08:25 AM   
TimrehIX


Posts: 75
Joined: 6/29/2009
Status: offline 		Something I learned a little while ago is, it’s not submission if you only submit to the things you like. I think a sub should do their best to push their limits and give as much as they can to their Dom-me. That said you can only give what you can give, you should be getting something you want/need out of it too. If your needs are not being met you need to talk to her. 

There is always the option of breaking out of the device. You could get a cutter at a hardware store, but this is kind of a burning bridges approach to the situation.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_2851132/mpage_1/tm.htm

(in reply to subwaldo)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Chastity - 11/20/2009 10:43:25 AM   
aldompdx


Posts: 538
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline 		It is called a SAFEWORD.

Surrender is a free choice made from self will, to share a part of yourself.
When that choice is withdrawn, and the controller refuses to accept that, their action is then abuse.

(in reply to TimrehIX)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Chastity - 11/20/2009 10:49:35 AM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		Can you use a safeword for hornyness?

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RE: Chastity - 11/20/2009 10:55:11 AM   
Hierodule


Posts: 597
Joined: 9/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

Can you use a safeword for hornyness?


How about for "my dick itches"

(in reply to breatheasone)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Chastity - 11/20/2009 2:58:53 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hierodule

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

Can you use a safeword for hornyness?


How about for "my dick itches"


Damn ...you got me with that one!


_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

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Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Chastity - 11/20/2009 3:45:11 PM   
mmsprecious


Posts: 84
Joined: 12/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TimrehIX

Something I learned a little while ago is, it’s not submission if you only submit to the things you like.

And

That said you can only give what you can give, you should be getting something you want/need out of it too. If your needs are not being met you need to talk to her. 



Wonderfully stated.

OP, did you negotiate your submission before the device was locked onto your body? I hate when my orgasms are restricted, but I follow orders without the device because I desire to serve. It sounds like you like some of the kink, but not all of the submission.

Have you talked to her about negotiating terms of your submission?

His precious

(in reply to TimrehIX)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Chastity - 11/20/2009 6:49:19 PM   
PamperPrincess


Posts: 5
Joined: 11/20/2009
Status: offline 		It seems like you have some very specific limits. Perhaps you should have discussed the length of time the device would be kept on if you didn't want to fully submit to her.

(in reply to mmsprecious)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Chastity - 11/21/2009 8:27:29 AM   
Elipsis


Posts: 301
Joined: 7/8/2009
Status: offline 		Like a few people said, it would be useful to negotiate some ground rules for that sort of play and determine what is acceptable, what is pushing it but still at her discretion, and what is completely over the line.

Really this sort of approach should be dealt with for any kind of BDSM play imo.

(in reply to PamperPrincess)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Chastity - 11/21/2009 9:57:31 AM   
slavekal


Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		Does she ever allow you to orgasm? Perhaps she could set up a program where you can get a day out or earn an orgasm by meeting certain goals she sets for you.

_____________________________

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(in reply to subwaldo)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Chastity - 11/21/2009 12:01:40 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subwaldo
My fiance is starting to take to the concept of a female led relationship.  To that end, she determined I was masterbating and decided to lock me up.  I am currently wearing a Birdlocked device.  At first, I was into this, but it is starting to get out of hand.  She has the keys and won't let me out.


If i'm correct, it sounds like you convinced Her to be dominant.  Now you don't like Her form of dominance.  What's up with that? 

The first question that popped into my mind was "why did She place you into chastity in the first place?"  You said that She determined that you were masturbating.  Were you?  Were you masturbating to porn?  If so, She may not like this.  Many Women don't like the idea of their man getting off by looking at other Women.

The bottom line is that She doesn't like the way you were handling your cock, and She thinks that it will be in better hands if She is in control of it.  That is a fantasy for many subs.  Be thankful for what you have.

Sounds like you were more interested in the fantasy of submission than the reality.  Happens often.

(in reply to subwaldo)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Chastity - 11/21/2009 1:45:33 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subwaldo

My fiance is starting to take to the concept of a female led relationship.  To that end, she determined I was masterbating and decided to lock me up.  I am currently wearing a Birdlocked device.  At first, I was into this, but it is starting to get out of hand.  She has the keys and won't let me out.

Any ideas on how I can convince her to be more reasonable?

Thanks.


Congrats- you've got a domme. Now SERVE HER.

_____________________________

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(in reply to subwaldo)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Chastity - 11/21/2009 2:29:40 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

My fiance is starting to take to the concept of a female led relationship. To that end, she determined I was masterbating and decided to lock me up. I am currently wearing a Birdlocked device. At first, I was into this, but it is starting to get out of hand. She has the keys and won't let me out.

Any ideas on how I can convince her to be more reasonable?

Thanks.


Communicate with her. Explain how you feel. And offer a trade off, like something else you'd like to do in return.

WIITWD is afterall supposed to be fun!

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to subwaldo)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Chastity - 11/21/2009 2:52:32 PM   
SomethingCatchy


Posts: 796
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline 		"Dear readers,

My fiance has finally decided to dominate me like I wanted her to do, but now that she's doing what I want, I want her to stop and she won't! What's a good way of getting out of this situation I've put myself into?"

Dear poster,

Tell her you don't like it, and that she needs to let you out, and then completely drop the whole BDSM thing with her, since you're obviously not really 'into' it and only like the fantasy.


_____________________________

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Everyone is gay for Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

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(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Chastity - 11/21/2009 4:02:37 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Hello waldo,

Chastity is difficult.  If you want to submit, that's fine.  But here's a couple of thoughts.  Did she do any research on the order she gave you?  On length of time, health, that sort of thing?  Did you all talk about this?  How about having some open discussion?  Make sure that she knows what she's doing.  Make sure you want to do what you are doing.

Good luck,
sunshine


_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to SomethingCatchy)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Chastity - 11/21/2009 4:46:29 PM   
submissiveboy76


Posts: 37
Joined: 2/9/2008
Status: offline 		"She has the keys and won't let me out"

Isn't that the point???  ha ha hah

Seriously, you should first of all be extremely grateful that you have found what we are all seeking.  Now that the reality of it isn't 24/7 fun and fantasy, you should realize that the vanilla alternative is far worse.  Basically, what I'm saying is that you need to appreciate the ups and downs of being a sub.

If you want out, you should communicate with your Domme about her expectations and what steps you need to take to be allowed release.  She may already have a plan for your training and just hasn't let you in on it yet.  I'm sure she has her reasons for locking you up.  Trust her reasons and submit to her will.  As long as open and honest communication is a factor in your relationship and limits are respected, you should learn to derive joy from being controlled and, at times, denied.

(in reply to subwaldo)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Chastity - 11/21/2009 4:50:19 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

"Dear readers,

My fiance has finally decided to dominate me like I wanted her to do, but now that she's doing what I want, I want her to stop and she won't! What's a good way of getting out of this situation I've put myself into?"

Dear poster,

Tell her you don't like it, and that she needs to let you out, and then completely drop the whole BDSM thing with her, since you're obviously not really 'into' it and only like the fantasy.


Because someone doesn't like one thing, they are fake? Is that your take on WIITWD? Hmmm... narrow.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to SomethingCatchy)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Chastity - 11/21/2009 6:58:07 PM   
DarkBastard


Posts: 5
Joined: 9/27/2009
Status: offline 		What is WIITWD?

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 20
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