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petslave2b -> RE: What race do you prefer in a relationship (11/24/2009 2:24:14 PM)
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"I have been asked by a Latina friend of mine why she does not get phone numbers in an all Latin club from anyone of her own race. Giving the example that she ended up talking to all sorts one evening and only received a phone number by the only white male there."
Among others like her she is not exotic, she is just another face in the crowd. Same reason why tall blondes are very popular in Japan. Why tanning is popular in counties like Australia, but in some African and Asian cultures paler, lighter skin is desirable.
Or, the only person who found her attractive was that one guy and he just happened to be white.
Personally there is beauty everywhere, among all colours, sizes, genders and (18+)ages. Anyone who limits themselves to one section of the population should take some time to examine why they limit themselves, as often the reasons are not good ones. Having said that I do find some colour more asthetically pleasing, really pale people look sickly to me. Part of this asthetic appeal is obviously cultural, coming from a predominantly white culture with an obsession for tanning, some is familial coming from a family with a wide variety of colour and being envious of my darker sibling but not my paler one, and the rest is personal and artistic preference. Also I've known way too many unhealthy, pale, sickly vegetarians, so I immediately associate really pale skin with this type of person.
But all these influences and asthetic preferences have no impact on my sexual or relationship preferences, they would have a greater impact if I ever started an advertising company and was designing a colour scheme, or targetting a certain group.
What is curious about the OP is the stereotype it portrays. Around the world there is a thought that Americans are very isolated and internally focused, that the world ends at U.S. borders. The OP is an example of this, as he changed the traditional three race system to one which reflects American, not global, demographics. Asians, the most populous "race" on the planet, are stuffed into the "other" box and "latins" are invented.
"Personally, i am physically attracted to white men. "
Would you mind me asking why? What is it that makes white guys attractive to you, and what makes non white guys less attractive to you? Is it merely asthetics, like picking one car colour over another, or is there more to it?
"And most 'All- something' clubs suck the big one. "
Perhaps, if you are not in that group, but they are very popular for humans, who tend to enjoy grouping together, both for a sense of security (but probably not actual security) and for mutual pleasure.
"Did anyone else notice that the OP didn't post from Sunday mid-afternoon until Friday evening?"
And what is the point of this? Is someone required to post immediately after their first post? It actually makes sense for someone to post a poll and then leave, to come back a few days later once people have had a chance to respond.
"I only discriminate against woman-hating, kitten-killing bigots and other assholes. "
Why are women haters higher up on your list than assholes in general? Aren't all assholes and bigots equally destestable? Or like most people do you descriminate based on your personal experience? All bigots are bad, but ones that effect you are the worst?
"However, men of color - actually any color - have a cultural thing that makes me excited. They challenge me. They make me laugh (mostly at myself). It may be that I love dating the culture more than the man. I dunno."
It may be the exotic nature of people who look different, as skin colour does not determine culture. Do white men from a different cultural experience attract you? Have you met black or latino men who have a similar cultural experience to you? Are these people as attrative or less attractive than black/latino men with a different cultural experience?
"and btw, I love sambamanslilgirls view quote:
until men are able to have babies, you're not superior to us."
Biological function does not equal superiority any more than family history or skin colour. But if you wanted to use biology as a sign of superiority, then avoiding the pain and inconvenience of childbirth, pregnancy and menstration would clearly be the superior position.
"Actually, it is more like Mommy won't let him play with the computer on school nights."
You may want to take the time to assess your own immaturity before labelling others.
"So your superiority consists entirely of being able to write your names in the snow? That means we wimmins are superior the other 3 seasons, which makes us more superiorer than you mens *gloats* "
Ah, but one man or women does not represent the entire gender. But if this one standard was universal, then men can also write their names in the sand, dirt, concrete (wet looks different to dry). This covers all seasons and environments.
"I am not sure why black men or latino men like big girls but apparently they do"
Culture and biology, but it's not universal.
"Where do Maori guys fall into this poll?"
That would be the "other" group. This "other" group is necessary for a racial classification system as such a system is superficial and extremely limited.
"Sadly, they are in short supply here in America. "
From the reasons people are giving for finding Maoris attractive, then Hawains should do, as should Native Americans. Exotic, stereotypicallly strong warrior types, body modifications, not individuals. Nothing about personality or culture, so any islander or native should do.
"I think we've been hammered with anti-racism rhetoric so much that there is tremendous white guilt with having any preference around race - or at least saying anything about it."
Yes, the white guilt trip is a problem, as it's not a white problem but a human one. People of all colours and cultures tend to stick with people who are the same, it's a hangover from our primitive past. But colour and culture have never been as safe as people like to believe, and we are slowly losing this prejudice as we realise it is not beneficial, even if it once was.
"The reality is that generally like attracts like - for whatever reason. "
Yes, and the most common reason is nothing more than a hangover from when we live in family/language tribes and anyone different was a danger. This didn't mean those who were like us were perfect, just that we knew them, and it's better the devil you know. In modern times this need to herd together has been the basis for ethnic crime gangs who prey on those who are similar to themselves, knowing they won't look outside the community for help.
"I don't think there is anything wrong with saying, "Hey I have a race preference for my lovers.""
It depends on the reason behind the preference. Many people will have this preference for no reason, simply because they were raised this way, or out of fear.
"In the end, a lot of what attracts us about race is pheromones and scent. "
No, it's not. It's culture and fear, it is psychological, not biological.
"A lot of people didn't respond seriously because the OP is (considered by some to be) a delusional troll"
And some people seem to assume that about just about anything, or they are simply incapable of deep thought and use the internet for one line drive bys as a self esteem thing. If they really thought the perosn was a troll, they would ignore the thread or post a reasonable response pointing out why the person was a troll. Pointless little drivebys are the trolls on any discussion thread. At least OP trolls do generate discussion on occassions.
"The curious sentiment running through this thread is that, in the neo-liberal 'tolerant' world, preference against or even for specific races cannot be tolerated. Basically, for political reasons, we're supposed to lie that we have no preferences;"
No, we are not meant to lie, and it is for evolutionary reasons that some of us really do have no preference for the skin colour of those we spend time with.
"For one, we are on some levels forced to admit that there are no races. "
We know there are no races because it is a biological fact. No levels, no forcing, just fact.
"Next, we can prefer a race if it is our own and if we consider ourselves part of some minority class. No one really claims that an ethnic minority who prefers ethic minorities is racist. "
I'm not sure where you get this idea. Racism is certainly not a white persons problem. In fact you'll find some of the biggest racists among those who have experienced racial discrimination. Isolationists are isolationists, doesn't matter what they look like.
"Next, if you're of the dominant class but have an attraction to an historically subordinate class, you're labeled essentially as a fetishist"
Things must be really screwed up where you live. Especially when you think a little deeper and try to apply your logic to gender. Every straight male would have to be just a fetishist.
"Think about the word: 'tolerance'. I might not like you, I might wash my hands after being in contact with you (you the ethnic minority, usually in some subordinate position), but, I'm a 'progressive' -- I can tolerate you. "
Either you are a racist white person, or an angry person from a minority. Tolerance means "I'm different from you, but those differences are something to learn from, not something to fear, so I tolerate the differences instead of rising up against them, and I learn and grow.". And tolerence is not a one way street.
"Your ideology has left you in an awkward position, wanting to embrace obvious cultural, ethnic, even physical differences while being forced not to admit their very existence."
Race does not exist. Cultural and individual differences obviously do, but that is not race. Redheads, blondes, blacks and brunettes are all individually different, but can all come from the same culture. Just as people with a variety of skin colours can come from the same culture. And all are human. You need to learn that while superficial differences occur and we are all individuals alone in our existence, we are all still one species (race) and the differences are very superficial.
"'I cannot choose. I like humans. All humans, great and small!' -- what an obvious, convenient abstraction. Like the censorship 'bleep' on television, the very sound implies what it's hiding."
Not at all, this is just your perspective and it has nothing to do with other people. Finding people all pretty much the same, with good, bad, ugly and beautiful found everywhere is overcoming any cultural or personal prejudices and seeing the world as it really is.
"There are perfectly valid reasons to preference different types of people without being racially-biased. But to say "I like it all!" is obviously ideologically-based, and simply not true in most cases."
Valid reasons? Such as?
You will actually find the majority of people don't think about it enough to have any reason, as people do not like to think and will generally do whatever they can to avoid it. You will find a lot of the same reasons and motivations in those who "stick to their own kind" as those who belong to religion, fear, ignorance and xenophobia (a natural trait we are slowly outgrowing). While this does mean the majority could not truthfully say they like it all, there are still plenty of people who do like it all, and not for PC reasons but because they are thoughtful people, from the deep end of the pool.
"Having preferences is unavoidable. Some people's preferences fall along racial lines -- not necessarily a problem."
Yes, having preferences is unavoidable. Preferring living, adult, humans is a preference. Preferring not to be limited by superficial things is a preference. And while it is not necessarily a problem to have racial preferences, it is most likely not a good thing, and the preference is most likely not formed from good reasons.
"'I like all human beings'-- it is a symbolic gesture for the sake of symbolism, not backed up with historical or political reality. "
You may not realise, but people are individuals in an ever evolving species. We are not prisoners of history, politics, culture or other peoples prejudice. One can like people from any culture (depending on the individual) because that is ones reality, not because of symbolism. Don't try and apply the common behaviour of the mindless masses to every individual, history (and the fact of our social evolution) proves this idea is doomed to failure.
"The ultimate example is arguably a chocolate laxative, available in the US, with the paradoxical injunction: "Do you have constipation? Eat more of this chocolate!". Eat, that is, the very thing that causes constipation."
Hmmmm, a laxative is the very thing that causes constipation? Interesting view of reality this person has? As for the flavouring of the laxative, this person has obviously never heard of Mary Poppins.
"and started by an OP that many of us simply DON'T take seriously. Hence so many flippant replies. "
You need to read more threads. For some people the internet exists for flippant replies. That is simply as far as some peoples thought processes or attention spans can reach. Though this is in casual banter and random stupidity so even the flippant short attention spans have their place.
"By the way, "latin" is not a race.
It's a language.
It's an ethnicity.
But, it's not a race.
Roberto Clemente and Ricky Ricardo were both latin/latino, but one was black and the other was white.
Latin/Latino is not a racial classification."
Actually there is no such thing as racial classification, there is only one race, human. The idea of race is an archaic, superficial classification system which has no relevence. With this knowledge, latin is just as useful as a classification as any other racial distinction. Also since race has no scientific or biologic value, it is nothing more than an ethnic, cultural, language distinction. While you may be familiar with the three race system, dividing people up into those who look like us and those who don't is a much older idea. Before international travel became common the racial divisions were based on language, culture and appearence.
Feel free to read, ignore or respond on the content. Be aware though that I have no interest in peoples attention spans or understanding difficulties. If this is too long or too hard, look for something smaller and softer.
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