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RE: Collar vs wedding ring - 3/12/2006 2:59:38 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		collar... if i ever am... LOL...it will mean significantly more to me than my wedding ring did. It will be an acknowledgment of who i have been all my life and my wedding ring didn't do that.

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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Collar vs wedding ring - 3/12/2006 3:05:55 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress




very good question, Level, thank you.

I see a collar as a personal and intimate symbol of a bond between the giver and wearer. The collar signifies an agreement of power sharing reached mutually. The bond it represents has as many specific definitions as it has givers and wearers.

I see a wedding ring as a legal and/or religious symbol of the joining of two people as partners and lifemates.



Thank you, Tress, for answering. I agree with what you said, btw.

Level

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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Collar vs wedding ring - 3/12/2006 3:32:39 PM   
OscarHargraves


Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline 		I would think that they are of equal importance but in totally different ways. One is a heart given freely and speaks of a partnership of bodies and spirits. The collar however is the body given into servitude (no matter what form) and almost totally the opposite of a partnership.

How each one plays at any given time or on any given day is determined by the individual involved. I think the very luckiest ladies are the ones who have been married and collared by the same man and who want nothing more than to be where they are right now. The two seperate 'halves' coming together and making that person whole and happy.

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Collar vs wedding ring - 3/12/2006 4:07:33 PM   
smilezz


Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline
quote:

big smilezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


Why yes i am, thank you *chucklez*


As far as the meaning behind a collar goes. I knew i would wear this Man's collar forever and be His forever, regardless of marriage. I now wear Thornsz wedding ring also, it did not change anything, as a matter of fact, this is one of the things i discussed with Him before we did get married. I wanted to always make sure that as His slave, that was and is what i am/remain. We both have been down the road of dizaster before, we did not want to head there again.
I wear His collar, He owns this girl........i wear His wedding ring, He owns this girl. The only difference? legalities.

Happy Sunday....

~smilezz~

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Collar vs wedding ring - 3/12/2006 4:19:25 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: smilezz

quote:

big smilezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


Why yes i am, thank you *chucklez*


A The only difference? legalities.

Happy Sunday....

~smilezz~



Smilezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz I love that....

And damn legalities... gets' you ever time... that's why we're going both on same day. We're still hashing out how to be able to do this with mixed company though...LOL

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Collar vs wedding ring - 3/12/2006 4:37:52 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u

And damn legalities... gets' you ever time... that's why we're going both on same day. We're still hashing out how to be able to do this with mixed company though...LOL


Congratulations on BOTH. *smiles*

Level

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Collar vs wedding ring - 3/12/2006 4:39:52 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		We discussed it once and Hubby said i don't need a collar since i have a ring, so i only wear a collar in my mind.

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Collar vs wedding ring - 3/13/2006 1:30:16 AM   
dincubus


Posts: 231
Joined: 10/22/2005
From: South Dakota
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Just curious about how others feel on this........do you see a collar as being equal to, less than, or more valuable than a wedding ring? Or do you even see the two as being in the same category?

Level


personally i see a collar being important in a completely different way that a wedding ring. the ring itself implies a different committment to a relationship than a collar. in some ways a wedding ring says that you will love honor and obey your spouse in a more nilla way. where as a collar signifies a complete submission to the person you are collared to.
while some may disagree, the wedding ring is more for the nilla world and the collar is more for the BDSM world.
least that is my opinion

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Collar vs wedding ring - 3/13/2006 2:01:59 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dincubus


quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Just curious about how others feel on this........do you see a collar as being equal to, less than, or more valuable than a wedding ring? Or do you even see the two as being in the same category?

Level


personally i see a collar being important in a completely different way that a wedding ring. the ring itself implies a different committment to a relationship than a collar. in some ways a wedding ring says that you will love honor and obey your spouse in a more nilla way. where as a collar signifies a complete submission to the person you are collared to.
while some may disagree, the wedding ring is more for the nilla world and the collar is more for the BDSM world.
least that is my opinion


I would agree with you only in relationship to the more mainline or traditional Religious weddings and the wedding ring. For me , a wedding ring is a talisman, an item designed to bind soul to soul and made/blesed using arcane rites, as th wedding rins my Wife/Free Companion has from me, was so worked..... LoR was not wrong regarding the power of rings.... The collar designates my propertyor the property of House Iron Bear or any other owner and is to be respected... Were it to happen that I both married and collared the same girl. we would be bound in ways which can never be broken.

< Message edited by IronBear -- 3/13/2006 2:05:51 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Collar vs wedding ring - 3/13/2006 3:06:36 AM   
sweetpettjenny


Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline 		Both the collar and wedding band have huge signifigance to me , although they have two different meanings. I struggle internally with this battle every so often . I do wish to be married again( to the person who holds my collar). I do want/need the collar and have it. I long to be married by the person who owns my heart, and hope he can keep true to the definitions of how we began( as Master/slave). I can have one without the other, for soo long and then the need to be married eventually will creep in i think...

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Collar vs wedding ring - 3/13/2006 3:14:42 AM   
orfunboi


Posts: 1223
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline 		To me they both represent commitment to whomever you are promised to. For me personally, i can go out and get collared to the women of my choice, so that is a dream i have. It still illegal for me to marry, so i don't think about that much.

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Collar vs wedding ring - 3/13/2006 8:21:16 AM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Just curious about how others feel on this........do you see a collar as being equal to, less than, or more valuable than a wedding ring? Or do you even see the two as being in the same category?

Level

I see both of these as having as much value as the people involved give them. I have a partner that would love to be married. But to me, to be considered married by the government means nothing but a difficult time later if we decided to go seperate ways. My slave considers her collar to be of far more value then her wedding ring. The ring now, is just a representative of a past relationship that was doomed to fail from the start where her collar represents what she truely is on the inside.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Collar vs wedding ring - 3/13/2006 8:27:48 AM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

Just curious about how others feel on this........do you see a collar as being equal to, less than, or more valuable than a wedding ring? Or do you even see the two as being in the same category?


To me, they are not even in the same category. One signifies lifelong partnership, love and equality, whereas a collar need not necessarily denote any of that. A collar signifies submission, on one level or another. It is possible that to some a collar would signify the same thing as a wedding ring, but for most I believe it differs.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Collar vs wedding ring - 3/13/2006 8:40:50 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		it's the little things that make a difference.

e.g.:

"next of kin"--Master is in the hospital after a terrible accident, whoever is wearing his collar will not be given any where near the same consideration as the one wearing his wedding ring as far as information given, being allowed to visit, make decisions, etc.

"extra driver"--Master has occasion to rent a car, to be allowed as an extra driver, whoever is wearing his collar must have a credit card in their own name and, depending upon the car company, Master must pay an extra service fee(20-50$), whoever wears His wedding ring is covered by His card and there is no extra fee.

having unmentionables together
some insurance options or rates
filing taxes
and all of the other "practical" reasons folks give for getting married, as opposed to staying single in the eyes of the "law".

the collar this slave wears is MOST important to her, more so than any wedding ring she has ever worn or will ever wear and it isn't the "collar" itself, it is the man who put it there and HIS feelings about ownership of a slave vs. marriage that make the difference for this slave. this slave will always be His slave and possession first, everything else works out AFTER that.

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Collar vs wedding ring - 3/13/2006 12:10:05 PM   
Elegant


Posts: 1024
Joined: 3/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Just curious about how others feel on this........do you see a collar as being equal to, less than, or more valuable than a wedding ring? Or do you even see the two as being in the same category?

Level


I have two physical collars:
1. The one around my neck. (OK..so I really have three different ones of these)
2. The miniature collar on my left ring finger.

The neck collar came first followed by the finger collar 5 years later.

Valuable?...Im sure you are not refering to monetary value..<i>grin</i>

The slave collar plays a more important role in my life.


_____________________________

Elegant
~Slave To Master Archer

http://www.FantasiesInLeather.com

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Collar vs wedding ring - 3/13/2006 12:18:39 PM   
SweetEscravo


Posts: 193
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline 		It seems to me that they mean almost the same thing, but to different people. The wedding ring is the vanilla way of saying "I'm commited to another person...here is a symbol of it for everyone to see." The collar is saying the same thing, but it is understood by a different group of people. I don't think one is more or less important, and a couple can definitly have one without the other...they are just two ways of saying the same thing.

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Collar vs wedding ring - 3/13/2006 1:16:28 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

"I'm commited to another person...here is a symbol of it for everyone to see." The collar is saying the same thing, but it is understood by a different group of people.


I agree with the first part of this to a point. I don't, however, see the collar saying that at all. To me, the collar says 'I am owned', period and for Himself it says, 'I own her', period. Daily, I have to continue to earn it so that I may be allowed to keep it. I respect your viewpoint, mine just differs and I see the collar as vastly different than the wedding ring.

For me, a collar is understood by the two people whom it effects. The fact that submissive men and women are collared, slaves are collared, bottoms are collared but all have differing ideas of what their orientation means to them really prohibits anyone else from really understanding what it means. Add velcro collars to that, slaves removing their own collars, collars of the week, training collars.. the list goes on. Some people place more value on a collar than a wedding ring, some place no value on a collar at all.. it's just super neato to wear one during a 'play' time. When I see someone who is collared, my mind automatically says.. "owned'.. and that's not usually the case, so I've learned not to make assumptions just because someone is wearing a collar. I've put my foot in mouth to many times with Dommes who like collars around their necks because it looks good and matches their outfits.

All that said, I don't even have something which can go around my neck, I have a tattoo and a bracelet which are the symbols of the collar wrapped around my power, so if I walk into a dungeon, you'd be hard pressed to be able to locate my collar anyway, but that wedding ring is right there on my left hand for all to see.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Collar vs wedding ring - 3/13/2006 3:36:12 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Elegant





Valuable?...Im sure you are not refering to monetary value..<i>grin</i>

The slave collar plays a more important role in my life.



Nope, not monetary value *smiles*.

Level

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Collar vs wedding ring - 3/13/2006 3:43:32 PM   
scratchingpost


Posts: 231
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		i think it depends on the relationship.
in some cases it is equal to a wedding ring
in others who dole them out like candy less
and for those who do not believe in marriage and only desire to give or recieve a collar once as a permanant bond so much more. it is easier to dissolve some marriages than some non legal binding bdsm relationship.
symbolism is interpreted by each persons perspective....

if i ever give a collar to my slave it would mean that he has pleased me and that i cherish and love him beyond all conventional senses and that he has achieved a special place in my life that i never desire to be without it would represent that i have found who completes me and who i feel could serve me for the long haul. i might play with many but i have not collared any. nor have i ever been collared. i wont accept a collar unless i feel i deserve it and have earned that sacred place in my Masters life.


id also like to note that while i can have a collar without a wedding ring...i cant have a wedding ring without a collar. i think to me the collar is more meaningful but hey that is only my view....

< Message edited by scratchingpost -- 3/13/2006 3:44:48 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Collar vs wedding ring - 4/9/2006 8:52:34 PM   
cariad


Posts: 943
Joined: 9/25/2004
From: Calgary, Alberta
Status: offline 		Level: You bring up a very good question ....

for girl a collar is just the same as a wedding band but more in that when girl is given a collar, just like a wedding ring it only comes off when she has a shower or bath as it is something to be cherished.

when girl was married to her now ex husband she never took her ring off except to have a bath/shower or to do the dishes.

when girls former Owner collared her in real life she never took the collar off except with His permission and even then only to go to bed at night.

girl believes a collar is just like the wedding band as it symbolizes the love two people have for each other and should be cherished until such time as the Owner releases her or she begs release, or heaven forbid one of us passes away.

hope this helps You a bit.

Blessed Be


_____________________________

The Path To Being A Good slave Takes Hard Work, A Willingness To Learn, Ability To Take Criticism and the Ability To Take Punishments Well. i Am Still Learning So Please Be Patient With me, As i Walk the Path to Being A good slave. SLRN: 742 958 000

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Profile   Post #: 40
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