RE: Being Financially Responsible

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Being Financially Responsible

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Being Financially Responsible

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Being Financially Responsible - 11/22/2009 8:53:25 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I don't want to be one of those people who die a rich millionaire, but has never enjoyed anything life has to offer either. Do any of you have radically different money personalities from your partner? Do you try to view it as part of your submission if you are spender, and your partner is the one who believes in saving money? (One note, we don't live together, so I am not spending any of his money). I really believe he has my best interests at heart, and he knows me better than anyone....but the urge to spend continues.................

Anything he has control over is part of being owned. He doesn't expect me to be like him, I'm not. He wants my finances to work in the best way for ME , taking into account the fact that I'm not like him.

If I'd agreed that saving money was a good idea and it was clear why, how much etc........ there's not a lot of point whinging about it, no matter what super thing presented itself. If I don't want to save money , or, want to do whatever I like with it, whenever I like , then it would have been silly to entered a relationship where I would have that control exerted.

It mostly comes down to practical measures........whether I like it or not , whether ANYONE likes it or not , we have to live within our means.

I've no idea how you can rid of the idea you've been cheated unless you are even MORE fiscally responsible and do as DesFip says ... create a * Fun Stuff* fund and add to it , so that you have a pool of money designed especially for those situations.

We DO have differing financial profiles........he's rather sensible and more cautious than I am where *I* am concerned. I tend to live in the moment far more but it only takes a few instances of those *unexpected* disasters.......ie, heating boiler breaking down , or car suspension dying.......... to make me appreciate the fact that I'm not living RIGHT on the edge anymore.

If I could afford the *trip* and it's not going to put me at risk, then he'd expect me to present why I could and should go..... and likely wish me a *bon voyage*.

I already knew he'd say, "you don't really need to go if it means pulling money out of your savings account." It IS a terrible time to go. I haven't budgeted for it, it's nearly Christmas, and I have some home repairs that I have been budgeting for that are coming up...but still, there's that voice in my head saying..."maybe you can find a way to swing the money.."

If I knew he'd say the above, and that situation was the case, I wouldn't even ask him. Wanting to do things or have things will always be there. It comes down to accepting your circumstances.....on all levels.

agirl

(in reply to ChainedExistence)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Being Financially Responsible - 11/22/2009 9:21:56 AM

AlexandraLynch

Posts: 778
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline

Though I am married to another dominant, we learned that he is not allowed to handle the money. He is very impulsive, and if he has the money, he gets what he wants, and then is annoyed when I say, "I gave you your money for gas, what happened to it?" and we just can't afford that. While I am impulsive, we take care of that by keeping me out of bookstores. (giggle) But he likes it when he comes home from work and his favorite food is available, and he has clean, good clothing to put on, and when something breaks we can fix it, so he's accepted this. I think that financial management is something that should be done by whoever is the one who can do it right. Now, we end up short a lot, but that's the economy, not my management. There's a lot of people in that boat. So I lobby to increase the minimum wage and increase workers' rights and protections, and I work at home to mend it, reuse it, rework it, make it do, or not notice we're doing without (in addition to my work).

If a sub lived with us, I'd ask for control over his income. Transparent control, but control, with spending money and money set aside for emergencies for them, too.

_____________________________

I use fastreply. Don't take offence where none is meant.

Just because I'm not a bitch doesn't mean I'm not perfectly capable of making sure you'll be very sorry if you disobey.

(in reply to agirl)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Being Financially Responsible - 11/22/2009 9:23:09 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

I always hear people saying they should do this or that.. they should save for retirement, they should save to put the kids through college, they should save.. ect ect ect.
I don't plan to take it with me.
I put my kids through college as it came up. Prior to that I was just living week to week as so many other people do, I had no savings. Yet.. I got them through college. It was not my responsibility to buy them cars, or send them on expensive trips, if people want to do that they should put their own effort into it.
I am old. I still have no savings. And, though I will qualify for SS if I retire.. I frankly doubt those funds will still be available to me, so I plan to work until I keel over. Retire? I cannot imagine it, even if the money was there, without work I would be bored stiff.
I don't fear living poor. I figure I had a great life! I went on cruises, I had adventures, I raised a great family, I had fun.
This may make me the grasshopper instead of the ant, but the grasshopper can always play the fiddle to keep warm.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChainedExistence
Saving has been almost impossible, but I've really bitten the bullet because this is what I SHOULD do-whether it's hard or not. Still....I just want to blow money sometimes..go to some exotic location and drink little frou frou drinks out of a coconut, or install a pool in the backyard, or do something entirely WASTEFUL....cause shouldn't life just be EASY sometime??? Shouldn't you get to go on a trip and not care what the hotel rate is? THIS is when I feel childish and feel like I need someone to be that voice in my head telling me to be reasonable. Celeste had a good idea about Mad Money savings...maybe I should try that for when the " gotta haves" strike!

(in reply to ChainedExistence)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Being Financially Responsible - 11/22/2009 2:48:16 PM

Acer49

Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChainedExistence

Here's something I have known about myself for years- I have a very impulsive personality when it comes to spending money. I'm not talking about spending to the point where I am thousands of dollars in credit card debt, (I couldn't sleep at night if I let things get that far out of hand) but saving has always been EXREMELY difficult for me. It's like the money starts burning a hole in my pocket as soon as I get a little bit. In the past when emergencies came up, I had no funds to handle them, and I'd be in a panic. One of the things Master has been working on with me is helping me to become more fiscally responsible, and I've made small gains in the last year or so, but I still find my urge to spend almost impossible to suppress. Just this week, I was invited to go on a short trip with friends and my desire to go is overwhelming. I LOVE travel, and I've never really done that much. (see, here go the justifications...). Master is the voice in my head urging restraint and before I even mention it to him, I already knew he'd say, "you don't really need to go if it means pulling money out of your savings account." It IS a terrible time to go. I haven't budgeted for it, it's nearly Christmas, and I have some home repairs that I have been budgeting for that are coming up...but still, there's that voice in my head saying..."maybe you can find a way to swing the money.." It's really a testament to him and the way he deals with me that I probably won't go, (hear that continual wavering in there still?), but how do I get rid of that part of my personality that just NEEDS to spend the money and feels cheated when I don't? I don't want to be one of those people who die a rich millionaire, but has never enjoyed anything life has to offer either. Do any of you have radically different money personalities from your partner? Do you try to view it as part of your submission if you are spender, and your partner is the one who believes in saving money? (One note, we don't live together, so I am not spending any of his money). I really believe he has my best interests at heart, and he knows me better than anyone....but the urge to spend continues.................

Yes and as an adult, you are expected to make the correct decisions. You have to ask yourself, what is more important, your joy of the trip you go on or the look of joy you will receive by giving these christmas presents. The house repairs could they wait? should they? only you know
Sounds like you need a way to make more money to support your champain tastes on what appears to be a beer budget.
The urge to spend will no doubt always be there, you just need to be able to accept the consequences of your actions

_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to ChainedExistence)

Profile

Post #: 24