RE: Agreement Vs Obedience

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RE: Agreement Vs Obedience - 11/23/2009 11:22:10 AM

KnightofMists

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Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

The points of discussion are:

Do you feel there is a difference between the two relationships? Why or why not?
If so, do you feel that, perhaps, we all enter into agreement-based relationships in the beginning of our exploration and look more to the obedience relationships later?

Master Fire

No.. I see this as nothing more than a debate on semantics.

I think every relationship is an agreement based relationship... but what what the agreement is will be wide and varied from relationship to relationship! also... the speed to which an agreement is reached will be wide and varied as well.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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Post #: 41

RE: Agreement Vs Obedience - 11/23/2009 12:19:26 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
No.. I see this as nothing more than a debate on semantics.

I think every relationship is an agreement based relationship... but what what the agreement is will be wide and varied from relationship to relationship! also... the speed to which an agreement is reached will be wide and varied as well.

Yup, I agree. Carol and I had been together for 13 years before the collar. Obviously no formal agreement was needed. What could we have possibly said that wasn't already well known through long years of deep observation? But that doesn't mean there isn't an agreement. It just means neither of us needed to verbalize it. For us, the agreement is, "I will love her and care for her to the best of my ability. I will try not to be a dumb-ass." If I were to violate that agreement, I would expect her desire to submit to wane dramatically over time.

Looking at it the other way, if there was no agreement at all:

From the dom side, that would imply that I attempted to dominate every person I ran across with or without their consent. From the sub side, it would mean submitting to every person they met. If there is consent, then there is agreement.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to KnightofMists)

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Post #: 42

RE: Agreement Vs Obedience - 11/23/2009 1:38:07 PM

Elisabella

Posts: 3939
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968
...He gets a glint in his eye and does it anyway if it's something that he wants to do. In the end, I'm still alive and safe. No worse for the wear and realize that I may have just discovered a new turn on.

I once stated to Kim that the next day she would be doing so and so. She asked me, teasingly, "Are you ordering me to do that?"
I responded with, "Not at all, I am just letting you know what it is you will be doing."

She kinda enjoyed that.

So I guess you could say we have an agreement that we are obedience based.

LOL

I ask the same thing a lot - "Is that an order" but for me it's clarification...if he says yes I go do it, if he says no I consider whether I want to do it.

Though he also has an "this is an order" look he gets on his face so usually I don't have to ask

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Post #: 43

RE: Agreement Vs Obedience - 11/24/2009 6:54:12 AM

cpK69

Posts: 1593
Joined: 5/9/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Do you feel there is a difference between the two relationships? Why or why not?

Yes; the idea of negotiating reminds me too much of my ‘equal partnership’ relationships, which incidentally, weren’t equal at all, nor were they, balanced.

quote:

If so, do you feel that, perhaps, we all enter into agreement-based relationships in the beginning of our exploration and look more to the obedience relationships later?

He told me what he wanted out of ‘his sub'; I accepted the terms. I’m not sure what there was to negotiate.

Kim

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Humility is where weakness and strength meet and humanity begins.

one voice

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Post #: 44