|
TopChuck -> RE: Any way to deprogram myself so I am not into BSDM? (11/24/2009 9:16:30 PM)
|
Yes, you can deprogram. That assumes you were programmed to begin with. My personal view is that kink isn't inborn, but is learned during the time of sexual maturation - programmed.
The method involves two basic steps. First figure out how your programming occurred. Fear of, and/or fascination with, physical items or acts during childhood and continued into adolescence can become enmeshed in one's sexual nature. The sensual nature of those fantasies lead to reinforcement of the devotion by connecting them with sexual stimulation. The 'kinks' and 'fetishes', become ingrained.
Sometimes the path to the kink becomes so ingrained that the source can't be identified. It's easier if the source is known. If it can't be, it's still possible to precede to the second step.
Most kink and fetishes involve submission and domination. The second step involves the realization that submission or domination is behind most sexual excitement; other than mechanical stimulation. Some come to D/s in other ways. Actions or fetish items are plugged into the urge to dominate or submit, instead of acquiring the kink by growing into it through fascination or fear during sexual maturation. No matter - it's all about stimulus, response and reinforcement, no matter when or how it occurs.
Close study of one's reactions and responses is necessary to reach the point of acceptance of the role of submission or domination in the kink.
At the time when you understand how you got the way you are, or realize that you were indeed programmed, even if you don't understand how you got programmed, and fully accept the role of submission or domination in your kink, you will be able to leave the kink - if you want to.
However, you may not want to. You may reach an acceptance of another totally new idea. You may finally understand that there isn't anything abnormal about your kink. Nearly every human has some kink or fetish. Most American men have breast fetishes, for instance.
When you understand your fetishes and or kinks you will realize that the only thing that makes yours a fetish or kink is social acceptance.
Sexual intercourse is a kink. We become enamored with it, because we're taught that it's something special. Breast fetishes and sexual intercourse are socially acceptable, for the most part. When you think about it, 'vanilla' sex is arousal based solely on mechanical stimulation, with no feelings of any other kind contributing to the climax. Pretty boring and most humans, even those claiming to be 'vanilla' don't imbibe in that form of sexual stimulation, without emotions and passion to enhance the experience.
The understanding of the role of domination and submission makes it difficult to re-program to a socially acceptable kink, if you didn't acquire it during sexual maturation. That's because no matter what you try to instill into your sensual nature, the realization of the central role of domination or submission displaces any other 'fetish' or 'kink', leaving you alone with your reliance on domination and/or submission to excite your human sexuality. That basically means you're going to have to rely on your human emotions, feelings, passions, to achieve a satisfying level of sensual excitement.
And, you're left with the problem of social acceptance. Most social acceptance that inhibits you is simply a denial of the understanding of human nature. When it affects you, it's a denial of your freedom to enjoy your own humanness as long as it doesn't infringe on another person's right to enjoy their own.
On a final note, domination and submission are integrally involved in the process of human loving. They are set forth in a formula entitled "The Power Exchange".
There's nothing more exciting in human life than sharing that experience of domination and submission with another human.
Here's hoping you succeed in achieving that human experience and give up the fantasy of denying your humanness for the sake of 'social acceptance'.
|
|
|
|
