Cheating or not? (Full Version)

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littleone35 -> Cheating or not? (11/25/2009 12:53:43 PM)

The other day i was talking to my friend who just happens to also be a sub. The topic came up about cyber sex. Now like me her Master does not share her she says even though she is not shared she does not mind. She does however have cyber sex with a few guys now her Master and she never discussed this, but she also has never told him she does this. She says it is not physical we are not even touching each other never even met face to face. Since it is not physical it is not cheating.

I disagreed with her cheating in your mind is still cheating to me. To me is shows you are thinking about it. If you are thinking about having sex with others it is cheating because your Master does not what you to be shared, you are his alone. Cybering means you are not his alone. I asked Master about this and he also said it was cheating.


Do you think it is cheating? Why or why not?

Matt's littleone



starshineowned -> RE: Cheating or not? (11/25/2009 1:21:22 PM)

Greetings..
To her it is not cheating. To her Master it might be a different story. If she finds no fault with it then sharing her wonderful online sexual adventures shouldn't be a problem.

starshine



peppermint -> RE: Cheating or not? (11/25/2009 1:54:30 PM)

It is not cheating to her.  We do not know if it would be considered cheating to her Master, and it's none of my business to find out. 

What you and your Master think about cyber sex is between you and your own Master and has nothing to do with her relationship with her Master.  Every relationship is different as the people in those relationships are very different.  You can't push your moral values on someone else, even if she is a friend. 

It is also not right for me to push my moral values on you, your friend, her Master, or your Master.  So, what I feel about the subject is irrelevant. 



hejira92 -> RE: Cheating or not? (11/25/2009 2:23:22 PM)

I agree with the two previous posters- the definitions of ANYTHING in someone else's relationship may not be the same as yours- and that's just fine if it works for them.

However, the situation you describe works for HER, but she hasn't given HIM the opportunity to decide. I find that unfair. But no one can coerce her into doing "the right thing" if it isn't her right thing.

In my relationship, what you describe IS cheating. Plain and simple. But we have discussed extensively what constitutes cheating for us, so there will be no surprises, misunderstandings or irrevocably hurt feelings.



littlewonder -> RE: Cheating or not? (11/25/2009 2:52:17 PM)

For me anytime you are sharing intimacies with another be they physical or emotional and your partner doesn't know and doesn't agree with it, it's cheating.



Elisabella -> RE: Cheating or not? (11/25/2009 3:06:15 PM)

-FR-

It's not cheating if he knows about it.

It's possibly cheating if he doesn't know.

It's probably cheating if she's unwilling to tell him.

It's definitely cheating if he asks her to stop and she keeps doing it behind his back.



Lucienne -> RE: Cheating or not? (11/25/2009 3:16:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35
To me is shows you are thinking about it. If you are thinking about having sex with others it is cheating because your Master does not what you to be shared, you are his alone.


Jimmy Carter agrees that it is cheating. And he has done it many times in his heart.

Personally, I don't think it's cheating to think about having sex with others, or to think about others while having sex. But hooking up via the internet and simultaneously performing sex acts? Whether or not that is cheating is up to how you define it in your relationship. I do, however, feel pretty comfortable saying it is performing a sex act with a partner.



agirl -> RE: Cheating or not? (11/25/2009 4:42:31 PM)

 Forget the *cheating* thing for a start.

She and her master have what they have and no-one here can have a grasp of that and frankly, nor can you.........unless you have a direct line to her bloke.

Even if it pissed me off hugely in MY relationship , it wouldn't mean I'd think SHE was *cheating*. Who knows what's accepted between them?..Cybering for her/them, might be/mean/be considered  an entirely different thing than it is for you and your bloke.

agirl










wisdomtogive -> RE: Cheating or not? (11/25/2009 4:44:39 PM)

[sm=agree.gif]
quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

It is not cheating to her.  We do not know if it would be considered cheating to her Master, and it's none of my business to find out. 

What you and your Master think about cyber sex is between you and your own Master and has nothing to do with her relationship with her Master.  Every relationship is different as the people in those relationships are very different.  You can't push your moral values on someone else, even if she is a friend. 

It is also not right for me to push my moral values on you, your friend, her Master, or your Master.  So, what I feel about the subject is irrelevant. 



[sm=agree.gif]

I think this whole topic could have been asked without mentioning your friend.



DesFIP -> RE: Cheating or not? (11/25/2009 5:59:38 PM)

To me it's cheating, to The Man it is not. I don't know if he's doing this or not. I don't want to know.

The question is why is she doing this? If it's 2AM and she can't sleep, then I can see cyber sex in a chatroom with different guys each time. If it's a time when she could talk to him instead but chooses not to, that's a problem.

If she just misses cybering, she ought to tell him that, and ask him to indulge her pretending that they are strangers.
The real question here is what he will think about it if he finds out.



QuirkyAnne -> RE: Cheating or not? (11/25/2009 7:12:05 PM)

Nobody can pass judgement on another persons relationship, that's up to them.  However, if she hasn't told him and doesn't plan too, that seems a bit of a red flag to me.  If she is deliberately avoiding telling him about her online activities, then there is a good possibility that she believes that her master would feel it was cheating and therefore it may well be.



lucylucy -> RE: Cheating or not? (11/25/2009 8:03:31 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

-FR-

It's not cheating if he knows about it.

It's possibly cheating if he doesn't know.

It's probably cheating if she's unwilling to tell him.

It's definitely cheating if he asks her to stop and she keeps doing it behind his back.


This is EXACTLY what I was thinking but much more eloquently stated!



catize -> RE: Cheating or not? (11/25/2009 9:27:45 PM)

1.He doesn't know about it.
2.She hasn't told him about it.
3.That tells me that in her heart she does believe it is cheating.
4.If she believes she is cheating, she is cheating.
5.She is lying to herself.
6.She is on a barge floating down that river in Egypt.
7.I'm not expecting a happy ending to this story



Drifa -> RE: Cheating or not? (11/25/2009 10:00:16 PM)

My Lady *likes* for me to have cyber sex.... because it just gets my engines running. Then I get to come and explain to her how "naughty" I've been, and play and really good sex follows thereafter. There is a difference, in that she KNOWS what I am doing, and delights in my telling my "bedtime stories" of what fantasy encounters have occurred. We both regard it as about equivalent to viewing pornography -- being a girl, porn doesn't do much for me, but an interactive flirtation is a heck of a lot of fun.

However, in the case you narrate with your friend, you aren't her mother or her spouse, so you don't get a say. Dear Abby and Dear Prudence alike would tell you to MYOB in such a case.  Plenty of people carry on skin-to-skin adulterous affairs for years without their spouses noticing, so for all you know this might never be an issue for them. Or if it is, it's up to them to deal with.



trusting -> RE: Cheating or not? (11/25/2009 10:18:03 PM)

If one cheats withing the soul, they cheat within the heart.



BitaTruble -> RE: Cheating or not? (11/26/2009 1:14:10 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

The other day i was talking to my friend who just happens to also be a sub. The topic came up about cyber sex. Now like me her Master does not share her she says even though she is not shared she does not mind. She does however have cyber sex with a few guys now her Master and she never discussed this, but she also has never told him she does this. She says it is not physical we are not even touching each other never even met face to face. Since it is not physical it is not cheating.

I disagreed with her cheating in your mind is still cheating to me. To me is shows you are thinking about it. If you are thinking about having sex with others it is cheating because your Master does not what you to be shared, you are his alone. Cybering means you are not his alone. I asked Master about this and he also said it was cheating.


Do you think it is cheating? Why or why not?

Matt's littleone



Honestly, to me, it sounds like someone who is using a technicality to get around the 'spirit' of their owners desire for them not to be shared. Perhaps she follows the letter of his law, but she is still creating a path as she chooses rather than as he chooses. Her behavior, her adherence to his path.. they are lacking in substance and submission, imo. She can candy-coat that anyway she likes to ease guilt or whatever but I see it not so much as sexually cheating, but cheating on his Mastery of her and playing games with her submission. That sort of behavior would gets lots booted right out on their keesters.



ranja -> RE: Cheating or not? (11/26/2009 1:57:07 AM)

Cybering is a great way to get your rocks off and ideal for people who would like to be shared or pimped....

I stumbled into cyber... it is something that happened almost accidentally to me at first... because it only works if you match with the right caracter at the right time there needs to be a strong desire to get you going...
So then i was interested good in this clean way of putting myself about a bit... wow

of course i had to come clean eventually... people do get under your skin... they also give you the most wicked ideas...
It was extremely embarrassing for me to sort things out... and i was very scared... my Husband really did not know how much of a whore He had married.
I am so lucky that He allows me this pleasure and takes pleasure in it Himself.



breatheasone -> RE: Cheating or not? (11/26/2009 7:19:45 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

The other day i was talking to my friend who just happens to also be a sub. The topic came up about cyber sex. Now like me her Master does not share her she says even though she is not shared she does not mind. She does however have cyber sex with a few guys now her Master and she never discussed this, but she also has never told him she does this. She says it is not physical we are not even touching each other never even met face to face. Since it is not physical it is not cheating.

I disagreed with her cheating in your mind is still cheating to me. To me is shows you are thinking about it. If you are thinking about having sex with others it is cheating because your Master does not what you to be shared, you are his alone. Cybering means you are not his alone. I asked Master about this and he also said it was cheating.


Do you think it is cheating? Why or why not?

Matt's littleone

i would agree with you and your master.



AquaticSub -> RE: Cheating or not? (11/26/2009 10:28:00 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

The other day i was talking to my friend who just happens to also be a sub. The topic came up about cyber sex. Now like me her Master does not share her she says even though she is not shared she does not mind. She does however have cyber sex with a few guys now her Master and she never discussed this, but she also has never told him she does this. She says it is not physical we are not even touching each other never even met face to face. Since it is not physical it is not cheating.

I disagreed with her cheating in your mind is still cheating to me. To me is shows you are thinking about it. If you are thinking about having sex with others it is cheating because your Master does not what you to be shared, you are his alone. Cybering means you are not his alone. I asked Master about this and he also said it was cheating.


Do you think it is cheating? Why or why not?

Matt's littleone


It's cheating if she knows he would regard it as such and she's hiding it from him. I have always had cybersex while in monogamous relationships. I don't regard it as cheating any more than reading a story someone else wrote on literotica. I don't think cybering means you aren't his alone. It means you are wanking and someone else happens to be providing the fodder, like buying a romance novel that someone wrote.



OrionTheWolf -> RE: Cheating or not? (11/26/2009 11:20:28 AM)

~FR~

Again it comes down to being deceptive and hiding something. That it more grievous to me, than willful disobedience of a slave, or attempting to twist the words of a command. My opinion is that my slave cannot cheat on me, but she can break the rules. Betrayal is a thing that I have never, and will never offer forgiveness for, period. Deceit and hiding things is one of the most severe things someone can do in any kind of relationship with me, because a trust lost is almost impossible to regain.

Whether it is called cheating or not, the ethics of the action deem it to be highly objectionable to most people. The slave should speak with her Master, ask permission to do this, and if not given, comply or leave.



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