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First session with a Pro Domme - 3/13/2006 11:01:33 AM

friskiesub

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When meeting a Pro Domme for the initial meeting, should a modest gift be taken to her? Typically, how long are the sessions?
thank you

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RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/13/2006 11:08:12 AM

MistressJacquie

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hello friskiesub
As a Pro Domme all I can say is it isn't essential for you to take a gift along but ..................... I have to admit that subs that do take the time to find out what I like and bring Me a gift along are more likely to get PRIORITY booking on their next visit ;-)

Mistress Jacquie

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RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/13/2006 11:27:44 AM

yourMissTress

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It's not necessary to bring anything in addition to the tribute. Unless she specified that you are to bring a gift as part of the tribute, in which case she probably has a list of things she would like.

The session will not last for any longer than what you have paid for.

Hopefully all of this and more was discussed or will be discussed prior to your session.

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Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

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RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/13/2006 11:48:38 AM

cherryesplanade

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Congratulations on making this decision! I know it can take rather a long while for some people to come to that point, so I applaud your bravery.

As a Pro-Domme, I can tell you that I love seeing first-timers, and it's especially helpful to be very up-front telling your Domme that it is your first time. Is there any chance that you might communicate with Her via e-mail before your session? A polite, tidily-typed note about your particular interests, and why you opted to see Her in particular might be most helpful and well-received.

A gift is not necessary, but a tip for good service is certainly appreciated. For your first session, consider booking just an hour. This particular Domme may or may not suit your particular needs, and you can always book a second session, or ask her to consider extending the session if things are going well, and you both have the time.

Don't expect your dream session the first time out. You're both human, and, I can only suspect, not mind-readers, so allow for some time at the beginning to sit down and discuss what you'd like to happen, whether or not you have any physical or emotional danger zones, what tone you suspect might work for you, and a good Domme will be able to work WITH you to expand upon what you like, and perhaps introduce you to some things you'd never known about. While the general notion is, of course, one of domination and submission, in my experience, the sessions that have been the most successful for both Me and my sub, are the ones that have been more of a collaboration. Don't be afraid to ask for what you want, and also let Her know when something really isn't working for you, but also leave yourself open to try new things.

Good luck, and please let us know how this works out for you!

xxxMistress Cherry Esplanade

MistressCherry.com

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RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/13/2006 1:14:05 PM

GoddessDustyGold

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As has already been stated, I hope you have discussed these things ahead of time, and you know the fee and the amount of time. I have a tendency to run a bit over at times, and that is My choice.
I agree that, depending on what you have discussed with the Domina in question, you may not require more than an hour for the first session.
As to a gift...I am always delighted when a client bring Me a little something, and it happens quite often. More so, as I have mentioned in these forums before, than a lifestyle submissive boy who is trying to catch My attention, but balks at the idea of even buying Me a pound of Brach's peppermints. Keep it simple, if you do wish to bring anything. If there is something appropriate you know she enjoys, by all means...candy, flowers, perhaps a nice bottle of wine, a book or a CD she has mentioned. For Me, absolutely nothing too personal like lingerie, clothing or a toy. That said, if you are planning more intimate play with something insertable, do check to see if she would prefer you buy your own toy to take home with you, or to keep with her for future personal use on you. If this Lady is a major professional with a spacious dungeon and a full appointment book, use your own best judgement. But, in that case, a gift is probably much less important.

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RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/14/2006 5:59:31 AM

friskiesub

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Good morning Mistresses: Thank you all for the excellent advice. All of you sound so very kind (I like that, and yes I know you didn't ask:)
We are to talk tonight (phone) where I am suppose to receive my directives????????????
I will let you know how this does/doesn't work out. The first meeting to discuss things is scheduled for this Thursday.
(Yikes)
Thank you all again
friskie

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RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/14/2006 8:42:47 AM

McWhips

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To be honest I would say your going about this the wrong way. I think you need to be asking yourself 'Why should I give gifts of appreciation to someone Im paying for a service anyway as if its something special?' No, infact the women you should be giving gifts to are the ones you are dating or love (if you can get a date, no offence) the reason I say this is because its a whole lot more rewarding to give a gift to a woman who you know is interacting with you for yourself and not your money and smiles in return making you both feel warm inside, You'll get a lot more return from it.

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RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/15/2006 8:57:59 AM

LadyTantalize

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quote:

ORIGINAL: friskiesub

When meeting a Pro Domme for the initial meeting, should a modest gift be taken to her? Typically, how long are the sessions?
thank you

Well, I won't lie - a gift surely would impress Me and I am all about being impressed. While a gift is not required, I've become so spoiled by My regulars that I hesitate to take on anyone new - so a new sub impressing Me with a gift is a sure way to grab My attention and keep it. Although I confess, there is something so special about a "session virgin" with their wide eyes and nervous excitement - very stimulating for this Mistress!

Most sessions run for one hour - some Dommes go over and some do not. I would discuss those particulars with the Domme you are visiting. I never session for less than two hours and most of My sessions are either extended, or three to four hours in length, and I often even run over if we have time! I hate feeling rushed and do so enjoy what I do, so when I start a session - I am ready to have some WICKED FUN and like to have enough time to enough various activities!!

Good luck and have much fun with your first session!!

_____________________________

Truly, Lady T.

Lady Tatiana Tantalize
Atlanta's Sadistic Southern Belle, Crossdressing Consultant, Punk-Rock Party Girl and Wicked SugarPuss
http://www.ladytantalize.net

"A prayer for the wild at heart, kept in cages."
-Tennessee William

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RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/15/2006 3:30:25 PM

Jasmyn

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quote:

ORIGINAL: McWhips
To be honest I would say your going about this the wrong way. I think you need to be asking yourself 'Why should I give gifts of appreciation to someone Im paying for a service anyway as if its something special?' No, infact the women you should be giving gifts to are the ones you are dating or love (if you can get a date, no offence) the reason I say this is because its a whole lot more rewarding to give a gift to a woman who you know is interacting with you for yourself and not your money and smiles in return making you both feel warm inside, You'll get a lot more return from it.

If it was simply a matter of money I'd take their money and make them stand in a corner for an hour and call that 'domination' but I don't I actually enjoy what I do and hope they enjoy what I do to. So on that note it is a whole lot more rewarding to scene with a man who you know is interacting with you for yourself and not simply because they view you as a life support system for a whip. And that 'self' in this case is me the domina, me the mistress, me the queen, and me, myself, I. Underneath all the leather garb I am still a woman and still human and trust me any gift, compliment, or show of respect will garnish a smile, a warm feeling inside and we'll both certainly get a lot from it in return.

Friskiesub good luck with the negotiations and hope your session goes well.

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RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/15/2006 3:50:45 PM

MichMasochist

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Well, ......holly sh*t McWhips..... This is your best post yet, Bravo.

quote:

ORIGINAL: McWhips

To be honest I would say your going about this the wrong way. I think you need to be asking yourself 'Why should I give gifts of appreciation to someone Im paying for a service anyway as if its something special?' No, infact the women you should be giving gifts to are the ones you are dating or love (if you can get a date, no offence) the reason I say this is because its a whole lot more rewarding to give a gift to a woman who you know is interacting with you for yourself and not your money and smiles in return making you both feel warm inside, You'll get a lot more return from it.

(in reply to McWhips)

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RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/15/2006 3:54:31 PM

MichMasochist

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However, when gifting a pro, I've often found that the pro will give more if you know what I mean. ;)

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RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/15/2006 7:53:54 PM

MarinaBlack

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quote:

ORIGINAL: friskiesub

When meeting a Pro Domme for the initial meeting, should a modest gift be taken to her? Typically, how long are the sessions?
thank you

What you can expect will vary from pro to pro.
Many are in it strictly for the money and don't have much skill or knoledge about what they are doing.
Buyer beware. "Dommes" like this can be very dangerous.

Many others are BOTH lifestyle and ProDommes. They are good - even excellent - at what they do because they are really into this.

That said...
Then they will vary due to personality and personal tastes.
Fee structure is generally based on an hour, however some offer 1/2 hr sessions to be able to extend their services to less affluent clientele.

Some demand payment and gifts. Others only require payment, but a mindful gift as well as excellent manners will certainly ingratiate you to the Domme.

Imagine taking out a woman to dinner.
You're already taking her out for a lovely meal in - hopefully - an elegant setting, but bring her flowers or something else you know she will appreciate and she will recognize your gesture.

I will add this...
When booking, ask her about HER protocols, be respectful and polite and pay attention to her intructions always.

Hope this helps.

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RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/15/2006 9:35:38 PM

HellsMichelle

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From: HOUSTON TEXAS
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All women love to have gifts bestowed on them, but when it is a professional booking it has never been required by me. I do prefer it when my regulars bring me silly little things -- new toys, more goodies for my 'dress up' collection or something else work related are really nice!

But honestly, it would behoove us both more if they would donate a little extra to my household instead. I really do not have many needs, except paying my bills. Maybe that's why I have never published a wish list on any of my sites.

Perhaps the correct answer here should be you could check the page of the person you booked with to see if it gives you any insight to how the Dom prefers things to be handled in this matter. The main reason we put as much information as we do on our sites, is to give you an idea of what we are like. READ...it helps...

Also some pros will not book a single hour for a first session and even less take on sessions less than an hour long. If your Dom does not have a requirement, I would recommend you book at least an hour and a half to two hour session.

NEGOTIATE WHAT YOU WANT TO GET FROM THE EXPERIENCE! It is well worth spending a few minutes talking before the scene and a few more at the end to be sure everyone is happy. [In my opinion] Prepare for about fifteen on the front and maybe ten on the back end of your scheduled time for talking/communication. It's worth the investment.

Hope this advice helps, lv M

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RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/16/2006 11:17:07 AM

friskiesub

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Thank you ALL for your generous advice/hints. Not to get too sidetracked, but I'm truly impressed with everyone's thoughts and well wishes. Tonight is the first meeting and ??? I will certainly keep you posted of the events. I wish I could carry you all in my back pocket :):)
friskie

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RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/16/2006 6:11:48 PM

MsSimone

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Good Luck friskie!
You have gotten some excellent advice. The bottom line is while an extra little gift is always appreciated and shows you have gone out of the way to find out what she enjoys, your honesty and sincerity while in session is what most of us professionals will remember.

Mistress Simone

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RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/17/2006 7:10:06 AM

Ethne

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It's the 17th!! I'm dyin' here, I want to know how it went

lol

Ethne

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RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/17/2006 9:23:55 AM

DiannaVesta

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Yes, all good advice and congrats! I think there are a few threads on here about going to a pro the first time.

I LOVE presents! I don't care if its a 5.00 thing or a 50.00 thing. Its all in how he thought and planned it. A professional is already being paid for the service. A tip is great but never expected.

DV

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RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/20/2006 6:56:29 AM

GoddessAlexia

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Presents are always appreciated but I would suggest you to find out what your dominatrix likes or rather needs, I hate receiving another bottle of the same perfumes.
Fetish attire or a piece of a dungeon equipment is always a good idea.

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RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/20/2006 7:09:27 AM

friskiesub

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Sorry about the wait. I'm having trouble with my home system. I wish for your entertainment - you all could have seen me Thursday at work (nervous is an understatement) For starters the gift was a hit (just a candle in a tall holder). Seriously, before the session began, she commented on it several times :)
I'll try to get to the point and keep this short. The evening (last Thursday) was more of a "sampler", and that was fine. The Mistress was very tender and soft (too soft :) Just joking...I do appreciate a gentle transition. She was aware of my likes/dislikes...and this was explained prior. The Mistress lives with her lover (who is also in the same line). Out of curiousity/looking for some feedback I called and left 2 messages (Friday). My only regret is that I haven't heard anything by now (Monday 3/20). The evening after our session she had to be somewhere, which didn't leave too much time for discussion. I'm certainly interested in future sessions, but I'm not so certain it's mutual. I'm tempted to send an email but don't want to appear to be nagging. Maybe I'm too sensitive or "needy". I would think it is normal to seek some sort of input after a new encounter (for lack of a better word right now).
Any suggestions?
It is such a huge help to have the support you all have given, I am very-very grateful!!!!
thank you,
friskie

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RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/20/2006 7:37:53 AM

DiannaVesta

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She's probably busy and doesn't get to her messages on weekends. Give it a few more days.

The candle sounds nice. Good luck on yoru journey.

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