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RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/20/2006 9:58:06 AM

friskiesub

Posts: 49
Joined: 2/2/2005
Status: offline

Has anyone conducted a "sampler" type of session. This has me very confused. I thought it was customary for a Mistress to contact the sub the next day or so - to check in, so to speak. Right now I'm feeling like I don't know what I should do...call her or leave up to her to contact me. Please excuse me if I seem terribly ignorant, being somewhat new sure does have it's downfalls.
thank you,
friskie

(in reply to DiannaVesta)

Post #: 21

RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/20/2006 1:04:29 PM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

Has anyone conducted a "sampler" type of session. This has me very confused. I thought it was customary for a Mistress to contact the sub the next day or so - to check in, so to speak. Right now I'm feeling like I don't know what I should do...call her or leave up to her to contact me. Please excuse me if I seem terribly ignorant, being somewhat new sure does have it's downfalls.
thank you,
friskie

I rather think "checking in" a day or two after is more of a lifestyle domme thing than a prodomme thing.

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to friskiesub)

Post #: 22

RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/20/2006 1:31:14 PM

LadyTantalize

Posts: 242
Joined: 4/13/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: friskiesub

Has anyone conducted a "sampler" type of session. This has me very confused. I thought it was customary for a Mistress to contact the sub the next day or so - to check in, so to speak. Right now I'm feeling like I don't know what I should do...call her or leave up to her to contact me. Please excuse me if I seem terribly ignorant, being somewhat new sure does have it's downfalls.
thank you,
friskie

While I've never conducted a "sampler" session, I can relate to acknowledging to a novice that a first session might be different from the fantasy and that it might be a good idea to "sample" various things to see what you like. Sessioning for the first time is just as complicated for the Domme as it is for the novice as there is so much left to uncertainty - will you like it, how far can you go - and it's better to be too soft than too hard with a novice.

I always require a "touch base" within forty-eight hours of the session for the sub to verify they are fine and dandy. I ask to allow Me another forty-eight hours after receipt of that response for Me to respond just because My schedule is so insane. I want to read the email or hear to voicemail to know the sub is ok but I cannot always respond immediately. Some Pros have no communication with their clients so that is an issue that needs to be negotiated prior to the session.

Give her some time, call or email again and simply request some feedback and see what happens!

Good luck!!

_____________________________

Truly, Lady T.

Lady Tatiana Tantalize
Atlanta's Sadistic Southern Belle, Crossdressing Consultant, Punk-Rock Party Girl and Wicked SugarPuss
http://www.ladytantalize.net

"A prayer for the wild at heart, kept in cages."
-Tennessee William

(in reply to friskiesub)

Post #: 23

RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/20/2006 6:33:22 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSonnetMarwood

I rather think "checking in" a day or two after is more of a lifestyle domme thing than a prodomme thing.

Agreed. I do not work with green subs. I maintain a professional relationship, and there is no need for any feedback on either side. Aftercare is handled at the end of the session, which is why I have a tendency to run over on time. But it is just as much for My sake as for the submissive's.
If you did not discuss or negotiate a follow up, she may be wondering why you are calling at all and thinking that you sound a bit needy.
That said, if I did work with a novice, I would bring up the idea of a follow up feedback discussion. It makes sense, if only to reassure the newbie who might need a bit extended aftercare.

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)

Post #: 24

RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/20/2006 10:03:17 PM

MsSimone

Posts: 119
Joined: 7/15/2004
From: Chicago,Illinois
Status: offline

Agree, give it few more days. we tend to be very busy ladies. Middle of next week might want to drop her an email saying you enjoyed the session and are interested in continuing on.

Mistress Simone

_____________________________

www.chicago-mistress.com

(in reply to DiannaVesta)

Post #: 25

RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/20/2006 11:31:07 PM

KneelB4BBWdomme

Posts: 1
Joined: 6/9/2005
Status: offline

Candles are a nice gift... I highly recomend soy candles if you are interested in having a first experience with hot wax. The soy candles melt at lower temp. so its a very sensual intro to candles and can be dripped on the most tender areas of the body without worry.

Do not be alarmed that She has not responded right away. Keep in mind that She has no doubt many things going on in Her life and will get back to you when she is able. She may also be teaching you an important thing for subs to learn and that is patience. Do not bombard her with messages but wait a week and if you have not heard back than forward her the earlier message and note that you hope everything is okay and are anxiously awaiting feedback from her.

Mistress O

(in reply to DiannaVesta)

Post #: 26

RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/21/2006 12:02:04 AM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

Sadly, human males do not possess nuptial plumage or coded song to impress the females they worship. Until these qualities arise in our sex, you should think of a gift as wise in our current human milieu. Of course, even if nanotechnological DNA manipulation and genetic engineering were to somehow grant us these primal influences of nature, I'm still convinced gifts would earn a male extra brownie points, and could never hurt.

(in reply to friskiesub)

Post #: 27

RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/21/2006 12:34:15 PM

friskiesub

Posts: 49
Joined: 2/2/2005
Status: offline

thank you, I enjoyed your reply and all others. I've been to a few play parties, but this is the first with a pro. Please try to be patient with my "roll your eyes" questions :):).
It truly is a comfort to have you all, excellent advice and input.
thank you again
friskie

(in reply to KneelB4BBWdomme)

Post #: 28

RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/21/2006 1:21:20 PM

AmazonVixen

Posts: 5
Joined: 2/11/2006
Status: offline

Yes and all other times as well. Agift should be given

(in reply to MistressJacquie)

Post #: 29

RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/21/2006 1:25:16 PM

AmazonVixen

Posts: 5
Joined: 2/11/2006
Status: offline

Besides Mistress O, a submissive's duty is to please the Dorminate

(in reply to KneelB4BBWdomme)

Post #: 30

RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/21/2006 3:37:05 PM

Aimtoplease101

Posts: 319
Joined: 2/8/2006
From: San Diego, California
Status: offline

Relax-- it may have been new territory for you, but she's done it before and doesn't have the same sense of urgency you're expressing.

By the way-- what criteria did you use when selecting your "first timer?"

Regards,
ATP

_____________________________

Pleasing you pleases me.

(in reply to friskiesub)

Post #: 31

RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/21/2006 5:51:32 PM

FLsubmalecd

Posts: 143
Status: offline

Please, I mean no disrepect to all pro Dommes. I know there is a big need for your services. If not, you would not be in business. Maybe this is the wrong thread to post this in, but I know me, I could never, woud never use the services of a pro Domme. For me to be submissive to any Woman, I have to feel the love or at least a very close bond. But knowing that a Pro will do me for a fee, and NOT do me for just me being me, just takes away any interest for me. In fact it would be a major turn off. I don't care how good she looked or what she says she can do for or to me. A Pro Domme is not in the cards for me ever.
I realize some guys needs are such that they can forget all about a love bond or don't want or need it.
So you have an enterprise. It is just way to much like that "other" business some women get paid for. I won't go there either. The dollars just cheapens the whole thing for me.
Again, please... no disrespect to the Pro Dommes that do try to care and show it. I know there are a lot of good sincere Pro Dommes out there that realized a good business opportunity and took advantage of it. Hell, I would if I could! lol But the tribute is the deal maker and not the bond I need as a sub. I just don't get it. Submission to a stranger for a fee(tribute) Rather cold and impersonal to me. Just my humble opinion without knocking the industry.

(in reply to DiannaVesta)

Post #: 32

RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/21/2006 6:44:24 PM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FLsubmalecd

Please, I mean no disrepect to all pro Dommes.

I fail to understand how you would not see the irony of that sentiment when compared to the body of your message.

(in reply to FLsubmalecd)

Post #: 33

RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/22/2006 5:39:56 AM

friskiesub

Posts: 49
Joined: 2/2/2005
Status: offline

Aimtoplease101: Excellent point. You know, I'm learning more and more everyday. I've always desired this lifestyle (age=47), sadly it took this long to "do something about it", and you are absolutely right - my eagerness is getting in the way of the obvious or common sense type thing. I hope this is making some sort of sense :)
I know I just need to relax a bit.
thank you,
friskie

(in reply to Aimtoplease101)

Post #: 34

RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/22/2006 7:34:47 AM

friskiesub

Posts: 49
Joined: 2/2/2005
Status: offline

Thank you, this makes sense. Although I've played before, this is my time with a ProDomme and I'm just leary to do anything wrong. My guess is - I'm trying to get a feel for what you expect or what the natural routine so to say is. I did mail her a thank you note the other day...had a witty twist to it, message on card was: "I generally avoid temptation, unless I can't resist it".
If this waiting is a part of her training...she's killing me :):)

(in reply to KneelB4BBWdomme)

Post #: 35

RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/25/2006 10:19:43 AM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

What I'm about to say is probably going to piss off a few people, but that has hardly stopped me in the past.

Since I've complained several times about all the profiles on CM asking for "tribute," many people probably assume I have some kind of moral objection to professionals. But that's not true. Professionals must provide pleasure to a lot of people (otherwise no one would support them), and I wouldn't rule out hiring a professional myself if I thought it would improve something I've planned.

However, I honestly cannot imagine how a session with a pro domme can be profoundly fulfilling for a sub. There are two main reasons. First, as the OP's anguish about a follow-up phone call reveals, pro dommes do not care about their clients except as clients. I know, every time I say something like this, a pro domme responds in high dudgeon that OF COURSE they care about their clients and they listen to their clients' problems all the time, even off the clock, and so on. But a pro domme can't possibly care about every one of her clients as more than a client--any more than a barber can care about every one of his clients as more than a client. After all, a barber will listen to your problems too. A relationship with a professional (of any kind) cannot be the same thing as a personal relationship, even if some professionals try to convince you otherwise. The acid test, of course, is that a pro domme will not do certain things with clients that she does with a lover.

Second, submitting to a pro domme is not really submitting. It is consenting to let a professional help you out with some fantasies that you've discussed at length beforehand. There is a big difference. The client is always in charge in a session with a pro domme. The client has more than a fair idea of what's going to happen and what isn't. The client is paying for a service.

Now I'm not saying that that can't be fun for a sub, but it's not submitting. The whole experience of SUBMITTING, of handing your will over to another, means that you are NOT in charge. You do NOT necessarily have much of an idea of what's going to happen and what isn't. That must be incomparably more intense, more dangerous, and more satisfying.

No?

(in reply to friskiesub)

Post #: 36

RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/25/2006 2:10:49 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

Yes. As a part time Pro, Myself, I have to say that LaM's take on this is pretty accurate. I'm not saying it can't happen, and that there aren't instances where a client can become more. It happens, but, IMO, not that often.
And the main reason I am following up on this, is because I see friskiesub's latest post regarding:

quote:

My guess is - I'm trying to get a feel for what you expect or what the natural routine so to say is.

This concerns Me. Unless you have made some sort of specific arrangement to try to get a feel for actual submission, what you are accomplishing with the Pro Domina is an exploration of the sensation play. And this really has little to do with submission unless you are in a lifestyle relationship that includes all the day to day aspects of serving a Lady. There is nothing wrong with this exploration, and it is a perfectly fine place to begin. But, at the end of your time, you do go home, and you are not accountable to anyone for your time or your actions. There are always exceptions, of course, but My experience has been that this almost always hold true even in a live-out relationship. There is always limited control which might last for a while, but it is easy for a boy to simply fall out of the loop, become unreachable, or otherwise put a halt to the relationship if and when they get tired of the game.
This is why I do not particularly enjoy any sort of LDR. I don't play online, and I do get compensated for any phone time through My niteflirt lines. In the end, a client is a client, 99% of the time.
So it is important for Me to sort out how I get to know someone, and when it is appropriate to deepen the relationship. I am always looking toward a view of a long term, lifestyle situation, as opposed to being tried on for size, while the boy is figuring out his place in this lifestyle.

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 37

RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/27/2006 11:41:35 AM

MissyRane

Posts: 1032
Joined: 5/11/2005
Status: offline

gosh I'm so curious........anything yet?

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

Post #: 38

RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 3/27/2006 9:52:31 PM

MsSophie

Posts: 142
Joined: 3/26/2006
From: Stockholm, Sweden
Status: offline

Lordandmaster

You definitely have a point, submitting to a pro-domme isn't necessarily anything else but to scratch an itch, but for many people it's the only way they have to satisfy the desire.

During the years I worked I had a lot of men as clients who were in such positions in their lives that they simply couldn't maintain a relationship with a woman to fulfill their desires. Maybe it was work who prevented this, maybe it was an allready existing marriage. Rather than cheating on their family and risking an emotional tie with the woman they were seeing, and thus lying to everyone involved, they chose to come see someone they knew would take a professional view of what was going on. They also knew they were safe - physically as well as emotionally.

(in reply to MissyRane)

Post #: 39

RE: First session with a Pro Domme - 4/9/2006 11:54:40 PM

mons

Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline

greeting

I am not a pro domme but I respect all dommes
the ones here sound so understanding to your need and
give such good advice. Yes she maybe not getting message '
and she is a woman! Just like many woman she may had
more fun with you then you think and may be playing the waiting
game as all woman dommes or not do,so just wait and see what
happening. I am glad you had a great time hey i want to hear more
too.

best wishes

Mons/Jane

(in reply to DiannaVesta)

Post #: 40

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