A question about strap-on play

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retox22 -> A question about strap-on play (11/26/2009 5:54:41 AM)
First thank you for all your time and input Ok I am in a happy marrige of six years. Moslty we have normal sex and about one or two times a month we will slip into B\D mode. I am a switch that is mostly for the bottom. Sara is a switch that is 95% a top. We have talked about wants and needs openly, I have told her that I would like to try strap-on play and I want to be forced to eat my cum. She told me that she doesn't want to do that, I repect my wife and her limits. I don't want her to do anything she doesn't want to do. She said "I am suppose to be a man, Why would you want that? Are you gay?" I like the feeling of no control and being forced, basiclly Im in bondage and she can do what ever she wants because I can't stop her. She does know that I like anal play and has no problem with putting a plug into me. So as a woman, Do you see a man that wants strap-on play and cum eating less of a man? And in your opinion. Is strap-on play different than anal play IE. Is having a toy strapped to your body that much of a differnce than useing a toy by hand? I understand the phisical is different but I am looking for the mental part of it. Again thanks for your imput Any questions or I fill in the blanks, please ask

Underumam -> RE: A question about strap-on play (11/26/2009 6:31:05 AM)
Hi retox22. I beg understanding and forgiveness from all the Female Dommes around here for replying on a thread meant for their replies and input, but this subject is very important to me, and I've often encountered the same problems in one of the most submissive and trustful forms of love making that a submissive male can offer his Beloved. Here's my take on it; There's something extremely sexy and appealing about being taken from behind by ones Mistress. I'm not gay, or even truly bisexual. Other than our mouth, the ass is the only other hole we have to offer Her. Being taken in this way is one of the most trusting, and humbling things a man can do for Her. It requires a complete submission, as well as one of the most pleasurable sensations I've ever known. It's not meant for everyday as it will eventually mean losing ones ability to orgasm during "conventional sex", and this can cause a multitude of other more complicated problems in the relationship. However, I fail to understand Her reluctance to even try it, or experiment. I guess it all boils down to personal choice and preferences, meaning that She might not ever desire to participate in the experience. I'd strongly suggest at least trying it on for size as it won't harm anyone, and most definitely doesn't make you gay. There's a big difference between being taken by a plastic cock being wielded by feminine energy, than a real one attached to a male........

DianeB269 -> RE: A question about strap-on play (11/26/2009 7:07:02 AM)
Good luck... Diane

earthycouple -> RE: A question about strap-on play (11/26/2009 7:18:56 AM)
I personally find that a straight man willing to take strap on is more of a turn on. I believe him to be more comfortable with himself and more open and willing. How can that not turn me on? Though, that's my opinion, OP.

LPslittleclip -> RE: A question about strap-on play (11/26/2009 7:32:31 AM)
strap on sex with a woman does not make you gay just that you like anal play. i enjoy anal play with my mistress and i am not attracted to men. my Mistress enjoys the play as well you may like to try a feldoe dildoe for female to male play as it helps to stimulate her as well and no straps. some of the Mistress here feel anal play for them is nothing more than service to the male while others higly enjoy it. this may be something that the 2 of you can discuss and find a ballance for your dynamic

Lucienne -> RE: A question about strap-on play (11/26/2009 7:57:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: retox22 So as a woman, Do you see a man that wants strap-on play and cum eating less of a man? And in your opinion. Is strap-on play different than anal play IE. Is having a toy strapped to your body that much of a differnce than useing a toy by hand? I understand the phisical is different but I am looking for the mental part of it. I think the relevant mental part of it is homophobia. One of the most efficient ways of limiting your sex life is to get caught up in thinking of certain sex acts as gay. I've been with a man whose ex-girlfriend played the "are you gay?" card on him for liking to do it doggy style. When it's a man and a woman doing it to each other, it is not, by definition, gay. I do not see a man who wants strap on play or cum eating as "less of a man." Nor do I see a man who wants a real live penis up his ass as "less of a man."

allthatjaz -> RE: A question about strap-on play (11/26/2009 9:30:58 AM)
I love strap-on play too and it all came about many years ago from watching my friend (who's name is Strap-on-Jane btw!) take men with her strap-on. I found myself getting very turned on by such an amazing power dynamic created by this very beautiful woman. Ask her to try it on. I remember the first time I tried Janes on. I suddenly felt more empowered.

LadyPact -> RE: A question about strap-on play (11/26/2009 11:00:40 AM)
As My boy already said, I personally love strap on play. Not just for My own stimulation, but for the mental aspects as well. I love the feeling of power about it. The thing is, you have someone in your life who doesn't see it the way I do. Not all women are turned on by being the one doing the actual hip thrusting. While she may enjoy topping you (it sounds like she does) in bed, she may not be willing to wrap her head around some aspects of this particular play. In My opinion, that's actually ok. Not everybody has to enjoy the same things or be willing to participate in everything. If she is dead set against it in her mind, or it is going to make her see you in a different way, you have to weigh the positives and the negatives of these acts. I'm not trying to discourage you. What I would recommend is asking her if she's willing to read some erotica that is focused on strap on activities or if she's interested in talking with other women that she is personally acquainted with that like the practice. She may change her mind or she may not. However, it would give her the opportunity to maybe take a look at these things from those who feel differently about it than she currently does.

Venatrix -> RE: A question about strap-on play (11/26/2009 11:28:21 AM)
I love strap-on play and it's never once crossed my mind that the recipient was gay. See if your wife is willing to watch the following DVD, which I highly recommend. http://www.stockroom.com/Bend-Over-Boyfriend-DVD-P1942.aspx

PeonForHer -> RE: A question about strap-on play (11/26/2009 1:03:33 PM)
What about her? Is she scared of being 'mannish'? I wonder if that's a part of the mix here . . .

AAkasha -> RE: A question about strap-on play (11/26/2009 2:25:24 PM)
First and foremost, if you don't rush it, it's better. If she has a core foundation for joy in femdom, the desire to try new acts is not as rapid as it is for many sub men. Don't push her into it. For strap on play, see if she enjoys roleplaying the act without the toy. I found the positions and the movements very, very erotic and empowering and was doing that for a long time before strapping it on. I'm sure you'll get tons of advice about how/why straponsex does not equal gay, so I won't go into that. For cum eating, first explore other kinds of erotic "forced" eating scenarios and see if she can get very charged up over the idea of making you eat something. Does she get off on shame and vulnerability? How can you tap into that? I can't speak for all femdoms and I don't know your mate; however, I think a common theme with we ladies who are wired for domination or erotic control is that we enjoy the reactions from the man more than the act itself. Those are merely means to an end. While an act, in and of itself, may seem foreign, weird, uncomfortable or even "gross" at first glance, once the femdom juices get flowing, the acts become just a mere tool to get the juicy core of what turns our crank: surrender, for example. Akasha

Tantriqu -> RE: A question about strap-on play (11/26/2009 2:51:19 PM)
I can understand part of her concern; it ABSOLUTELY doesn't make you gay, but I don't Take bi- guys, since I don't share! But perhaps it's part of her being a switch that she's not comfortable with the idea of ass-fucking her husband. Remember, a lot of famous straight guys love to be pegged. I agree with previous posters that a man BEGGING to be Taken is almost as hot as a man BEING Taken. For me, it's practical as well: I have a strap-on with a vibe at the base, so I orgasm from it easily: no pregnancy worries, no cystitis, great any time in the cycle. I recommend them to everyone, and to people like her especiially, so once she orgasms from it without penetration, her hormones might take over and she might bend you over! 'Bend Over Boyfriend' is a pretty good starting video, too. Absolutely both of you should get used to pleasurable rhythms with the vibe strap-on first independently, then together. Try different positions; you on your side with your top leg up and her spooning behind you, you bending over a bed with one leg up on the bed and her standing behind, as well as classic doggy-style. I like whatever position allows me to pull back on his shoulders or arms and REALLY... Uh, got to go ;-)[sm=mistress.gif]

Drifa -> RE: A question about strap-on play (11/26/2009 5:14:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LPslittleclip you may like to try a feldoe dildoe for female to male play as it helps to stimulate her as well and no straps. I found that I personally like the Nexxus with a Terra Firma harness best because it's much easier to manage "no hands" and seems to result in a better experience on both ends of the operation. The reason I like a good double ended design is that both of you can enjoy simultaneously. To the OP, really, the revealing point here is her saying that she feels you are asking her to pretend to be a man. This suggests to me that you need more discussion about what you want and why. The dynamic of a strap-on is all in your head and how you look at what you're doing. Some of my straight non-kinky female friends tell me that they like pegging their guys for the same reason they enjoy doing blow jobs -- they feel it gives them a lot of power, because they are in control of the man's responses. As a lesbian sub, if I am wearing one it's because I am providing my Lady with pleasure that she wants and I am totally not in control, I'm providing a service. Overall, it really sounds as if you need to be more direct about what you want and why, and how imagining these acts makes you feel and why.

QueenPenelope -> RE: A question about strap-on play (11/26/2009 6:49:45 PM)
I think a man who enjoys anal play and is comfortable with anal sex is the most comfortable man in his own skin and knows what he wants. I find that a turn on and I enjoy giving anal sex. Nothing about that makes you less manly in any way. It seems that your wife does not understand who you are. If she did she would not have questioned your sexuality in such an insulting way by saying you are suppose to be a real man. In my opinion a real man is not afraid to express what he wants to his wife or girlfriend. -Queen Penelope

retox22 -> RE: A question about strap-on play (11/27/2009 9:28:24 AM)
Thanks for all the posts And I dont feel gay for wanting this to be done to me. She thinks its not what a stright man sould want. But what think the root her of it is. The image of her father Otis, Big, tough as nails, no weakness at all. best guy in the world. but when your dating daddy litle girl he was a very scary man, until he tursted me. And I don't think Sara has compleatly come out of her sheel yet. When I tryed to get Sara into BDSM I was like a seven year old in toys-are-us. Realy not the best way to go about it, Now I plant the seed a water it just right, To much or to little and its dead in the water. Anyway I am going to try the eroica route. Thanks for the imput broph

Ladynslave -> RE: A question about strap-on play (11/27/2009 12:42:45 PM)
Another thread in this section mentioned that strap on play was looked upon by Dommes as the the Domme serving the sub. I never thought of it that way until that moment. I was under the impression that a sub surrendering his ass was the ultimate form of trust and surrender. I guess that is just one of the many ways that my thinking more like a man than a woman shows up. Slave also enjoys strap on play and I provide it for him when he has been a very good boy. It started in our regular relationship when he wanted to perform anal on me. While I am quite sure that a lightbulb did not actually appear above my head, it occured to me that if he wanted me to experience that, he should be willing to do so first. He found the idea exciting as well. So when the issue of me eating his cum came up, same thoughts went racing. Now we enjoy both fairly regularly. I don't think less of him as a man because of either of these things or many more that you are probably not into. I think more of him because he was comfortable enough with me to express these desires. As the prostate is the male version of the g-spot, I am surprised that more men don't do this with their women, vanilla or BDSM. It really is too bad that society labels so often get in the way of some amazing sexual experiences.

Underumam -> RE: A question about strap-on play (11/29/2009 1:02:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Ladynslave Another thread in this section mentioned that strap on play was looked upon by Dommes as the the Domme serving the sub. I never thought of it that way until that moment. I was under the impression that a sub surrendering his ass was the ultimate form of trust and surrender. I guess that is just one of the many ways that my thinking more like a man than a woman shows up. Slave also enjoys strap on play and I provide it for him when he has been a very good boy. It started in our regular relationship when he wanted to perform anal on me. While I am quite sure that a lightbulb did not actually appear above my head, it occured to me that if he wanted me to experience that, he should be willing to do so first. He found the idea exciting as well. So when the issue of me eating his cum came up, same thoughts went racing. Now we enjoy both fairly regularly. I don't think less of him as a man because of either of these things or many more that you are probably not into. I think more of him because he was comfortable enough with me to express these desires. As the prostate is the male version of the g-spot, I am surprised that more men don't do this with their women, vanilla or BDSM. It really is too bad that society labels so often get in the way of some amazing sexual experiences. I guess it's different for everyone, but for me, it IS the ultimate surrender and trust.

dreamerdreaming -> RE: A question about strap-on play (11/29/2009 1:26:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Underumam quote: ORIGINAL: Ladynslave Another thread in this section mentioned that strap on play was looked upon by Dommes as the the Domme serving the sub. I never thought of it that way until that moment. I was under the impression that a sub surrendering his ass was the ultimate form of trust and surrender. I guess that is just one of the many ways that my thinking more like a man than a woman shows up. Slave also enjoys strap on play and I provide it for him when he has been a very good boy. It started in our regular relationship when he wanted to perform anal on me. While I am quite sure that a lightbulb did not actually appear above my head, it occured to me that if he wanted me to experience that, he should be willing to do so first. He found the idea exciting as well. So when the issue of me eating his cum came up, same thoughts went racing. Now we enjoy both fairly regularly. I don't think less of him as a man because of either of these things or many more that you are probably not into. I think more of him because he was comfortable enough with me to express these desires. As the prostate is the male version of the g-spot, I am surprised that more men don't do this with their women, vanilla or BDSM. It really is too bad that society labels so often get in the way of some amazing sexual experiences. I guess it's different for everyone, but for me, it IS the ultimate surrender and trust. Wanker Alert For me and mine it is right up there with him drinking my pee, as the ultimate form of surrender. I don't use a strap-on, though. I use my hands. I need to be inside him. I use a spreader bar to keep his ankles wide apart, or just have him spread his legs for me.... put him face down, and I use him to my heart's content. He is to remain still and quiet for me while I stroke his prostate and murmur to him that he is a hole for my use, and that is all... I may have him stroke My cock to orgasm, or I may have him keep his hands down in a set position, while just milk him... I may continue on long after he wishes it would be over, because I like to take my time and pay a lot of attention there. Control, humiliation and objectification are my kinks, so ass play is a lovely part of that... MMmmmm... [:)]

Underumam -> RE: A question about strap-on play (11/29/2009 1:44:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming quote: ORIGINAL: Underumam quote: ORIGINAL: Ladynslave Another thread in this section mentioned that strap on play was looked upon by Dommes as the the Domme serving the sub. I never thought of it that way until that moment. I was under the impression that a sub surrendering his ass was the ultimate form of trust and surrender. I guess that is just one of the many ways that my thinking more like a man than a woman shows up. Slave also enjoys strap on play and I provide it for him when he has been a very good boy. It started in our regular relationship when he wanted to perform anal on me. While I am quite sure that a lightbulb did not actually appear above my head, it occured to me that if he wanted me to experience that, he should be willing to do so first. He found the idea exciting as well. So when the issue of me eating his cum came up, same thoughts went racing. Now we enjoy both fairly regularly. I don't think less of him as a man because of either of these things or many more that you are probably not into. I think more of him because he was comfortable enough with me to express these desires. As the prostate is the male version of the g-spot, I am surprised that more men don't do this with their women, vanilla or BDSM. It really is too bad that society labels so often get in the way of some amazing sexual experiences. I guess it's different for everyone, but for me, it IS the ultimate surrender and trust. Wanker Alert For me and mine it is right up there with him drinking my pee, as the ultimate form of surrender. I don't use a strap-on, though. I use my hands. I need to be inside him. I use a spreader bar to keep his ankles wide apart, or just have him spread his legs for me.... put him face down, and I use him to my heart's content. He is to remain still and quiet for me while I stroke his prostate and murmur to him that he is a hole for my use, and that is all... I may have him stroke My cock to orgasm, or I may have him keep his hands down in a set position, while just milk him... I may continue on long after he wishes it would be over, because I like to take my time and pay a lot of attention there. Control, humiliation and objectification are my kinks, so ass play is a lovely part of that... MMmmmm... [:)] I have never, and will probably never have to worry about that being done. Geesh, taking a dildo's hard enough, let alone someones whole freaking arm.

Lockit -> RE: A question about strap-on play (11/29/2009 1:48:17 PM)
But darlin... I have a small arm! hehe

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