RE: Announcing relationships (Full Version)

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rockspider -> RE: Announcing relationships (11/27/2009 7:53:46 PM)

I do find the terms used on CM rather misleading. To me a slave is someone living under my roof. Someone who say they are my sub, is someone i have met, but could live somewhere else, but we do have regular hands on metings.
There is several things i find amusing here. Like the sub/slave who claims to collared/owned but still list "seking dominant men". The same, who when looking at her and the owners profile, find out that there is thousands of miles between them. I have a name for them "Velcro Collars".
The same with the friends list a mile long. A friend is actually somebody i spend a lot of time on, not someone i just exchanged a few mails with. An appearance on my friendslist, I do see as an open invitation to visit my home and use all facilities at any time. To maintan that kind of contact level for hundreds of people would really require a 100 hour day.
Ok maybe it really is a sign of me being the resident dinosaur. But that is me, and i am quite proud of being me.




agirl -> RE: Announcing relationships (11/28/2009 8:12:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss


quote:

 
His profile says he's *Happy and not looking, experienced, cynical and usually in control*......Mine says * Owned by someone experienced, cynical and usually in control*....

Neither of us mentions the other as neither of us care that much about a profile here.




Agirl - that is EXACTLY what I'm talking about.  You mention him.  Maybe not specifically, but you do say "someone"... According to what you have written, he does not mention you at all.  I just wonder why.  I will say that AR's explanation up above makes very good sense.

sunshine


For the majority of my time using CM I had nothing at all on my profile about being *owned* either. The only reason I put it on there was to cut down on the tons of messages assuming that I was *looking*. It just saves a lot of nice blokes wasting their time and it reduced my messages overnight to a few from people from the boards and the odd *hopeful*.

I've never felt any desire to *have him on my profile* for any other reason. As far as I'm concerned *happy and not looking* says perfectly clearly that he's *happy and not looking*. There's nothing ambiguous about that. I don't see what adding *Oh, and I own someone* would add to what he has written.

agirl












DesFIP -> RE: Announcing relationships (11/28/2009 8:18:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: rockspider

I do find the terms used on CM rather misleading. To me a slave is someone living under my roof. Someone who say they are my sub, is someone i have met, but could live somewhere else, but we do have regular hands on metings.


The fact that you use that for your benchmark does not make it true for others.

I'm an owned sub who lives with him. Except it's my roof since he could relocate and I couldn't.

You don't get to define other people's relationships. Ever!




windchymes -> RE: Announcing relationships (11/28/2009 9:48:53 AM)

Some people are just more private with their personal lives in a good way, not to be deceptive. 

Plus, I'm kinda superstitious....like, if it's broadcasted, it will end two minutes later, lol. 




Acer49 -> RE: Announcing relationships (11/28/2009 11:46:45 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Hi everybody,
Over the years, I've noticed that a lot of the submissives have "in service to" or "owned by" or whatever in their profiles.  On the other hand, the folks on the other side of the kneel often don't make a point of noting that they are involved with someone - however you define "involved". 

Honestly it irritates me.  I was gonna say something all diplomatic and sweet or something, but I think the bottom line is that it looks like deception.   I think the Domly / M-types who do that are looking for a way to just play the field and they are keeping a sub "for now" until "someone better comes along."   

Am I way off base?  What do you all think?


While I do not doubt that some of the so called dominants, want to have their cake and eat it to. There are some dominants who feel quite frankly that their personal lives, which include who and if they are involved with someone, is no ones business but their own.




hejira92 -> RE: Announcing relationships (11/28/2009 11:56:44 AM)

Until a few weeks ago, Master's profile began with the line "I am the proud owner of a wonderful submissive girl". Can't be more clear than that. He only changed it after I suggested that He first put we are looking, so single subs will keep reading.

On sig lines- I state He is my owner, He doesn't state that He owns me. I never really thought about it. But anyone who knows us (and many here do), knows that He is the LAST person who would ever do anything dishonorable.




sunshinemiss -> RE: Announcing relationships (11/28/2009 1:12:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hejira92



On sig lines- I state He is my owner, He doesn't state that He owns me. I never really thought about it. But anyone who knows us (and many here do), knows that He is the LAST person who would ever do anything dishonorable.



I would say there has never been a truer statement.




rockspider -> RE: Announcing relationships (11/29/2009 12:20:43 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: rockspider

I do find the terms used on CM rather misleading. To me a slave is someone living under my roof. Someone who say they are my sub, is someone i have met, but could live somewhere else, but we do have regular hands on metings.


The fact that you use that for your benchmark does not make it true for others.

I'm an owned sub who lives with him. Except it's my roof since he could relocate and I couldn't.

You don't get to define other people's relationships. Ever!

LOL. Price of the day for hairsplitting. But i bend over and correct it to living under the same roof. Well if you can't define somebodys elses relationships it shuts down any debate over it. Live and let live is my philosofi. But i do like commenting. So get your knickers untwisted.




LPslittleclip -> RE: Announcing relationships (11/29/2009 8:40:02 AM)

i put that im owned as soon as i figured out how to do it i only get the odd apam from someone. my Mistress has had it in Her sig line and it has not realy cut down on the e-mails from hopefulls and wankers. i dont always have the availability to change my profiles while deployed.




MeaganBlake -> RE: Announcing relationships (11/29/2009 4:04:42 PM)

When I owned Josephine, I had him listed in my signature line and on my profile. It didn't really cut down on the "hopefuls and wankers," as someone else put it, though. Although I have a couple of boys who I play with casually on-line, I don't feel a need to add them to my signature line. When I find a new slave, he will definitely be added.

I think that adding the relationship status to the signature line is more of a gender thing than a D/s thing. Women seem to be more apt to add relationship status regardless of which side of the kneel they're on. Men, even subbie men, seem to be less likely to advertise their status.




dreamerdreaming -> RE: Announcing relationships (11/29/2009 5:56:29 PM)

I've always had it in my sig line, which hasn't changed from the day I first posted. (Except that I added my 10 Fluffy points, YAY!)

My profile has always stated very clearly that I am not looking. I still get spammed, but I immediately block spammers and time wasters. So that cuts it down quite a bit.




slaveluci -> RE: Announcing relationships (11/30/2009 5:32:50 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

Some people are just more private with their personal lives in a good way, not to be deceptive. 

Plus, I'm kinda superstitious....like, if it's broadcasted, it will end two minutes later, lol. 


I agree. I mean, I've only been around here a couple of years or so and I can't remember all the ones that have suddenly been announced and, before you know it, they've imploded and we're seeing the fallout. Alot of them don't seem to last more than a few weeks. Better, imo, to keep things a little more private..............luci




Domitianus -> RE: Announcing relationships (11/30/2009 11:41:46 AM)

My girl's profile was updated to reflect that she is now owned and not accepting solicitations...and it has put a dent in them. Once I claimed her, I simply made my profile hidden since I have no further need to attract attention.




PrimalConsonance -> RE: Announcing relationships (12/1/2009 8:31:20 AM)

After reading this thread, my submissive and I discussed this in detail.  She was surprised that I didn't have anything in my profile that would have me rise above the suspected deceptors.  I had not really updated my profile since before we met.  During this time, we have started a joint account/profile (which is this one I'm using now as "PrimalConsonance", and was created by both of us).  As a result, I've since then updated my personal profile, as she has modified hers as well.  Thus we have made honest kinksters of each other, so thank you!  Now I feel clean...when I didn't know I was dirty.  

Being that male dominants are so powerful and omni-potent, they are still however relatively low on the food chain of sites like these.  We are not the high targets like sub or dominant females are, and the sheer multitudes of sub males almost rivals the population of some Asian countries.  Dominants have a tendency to be less transparent than their counterparts, and there will be suspect feelings in that opacity.  And there are those that hide in this opacity to be deceptive, but not all dominants could be argued as being nefarious and deserving of such villainous behaviors.  A generalization destined to be proved wrong.  But there is validity for those that do practice this deception.  Just have to feel them out and understand, then make an educated decision on that matter. 

 




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