PainfullyCurious
Posts: 157
Joined: 10/26/2009 Status: offline
|
Thank you all for the thoughtful responses! I'd like to make note that I am in no way suggesting that any Dom try to be the sole source of help for someone with serious problems. Just that knowing when to call it (when it's time to push her for help instead of blaming her) might be a useful skill for someone who has taken on the responsibility that comes with putting themselves in a position of authority over another. Now on to this: quote: ORIGINAL: antipode quote: Do you know how to spot an emotional issue vs. a behavioral one? Define "emotional" v. "behavioral", please. And try to stay away from the word "issue", which is an obfuscation that doesn't mean anything. I guess first I need to point out that I will be defining emotional by what it is not, and that can be frustrating in itself, so bear with me please. The short definition, psychologically speaking, of a punisher, is that which decreases the future occurrences of a behavior.(Usually an adverse behavior.) Many people think of a punishment simply as a consequence, or retribution, and when you think of it in those terms it does make the emotional problems harder to separate. (A more detailed explanation of positive/negative reinforcement/punishment can be found here: http://www.psychology.uiowa.edu/Faculty/Wasserman/Glossary/punishment.html#np%20example ) Going on with the definition that punishment in effect, actually solves the problem, leaves us with the behaviors that proper reinforcement or punishment alone cannot or do not solve. Those voluntary behaviors that fall under the umbrella of mental rather than physical, and are immune to punishment are emotional. Some examples would be behaviors that manifest as a result of anxiety, or trauma. Things like nightmares. Again, I can't pinpoint specific behaviors because it's really the motivator, or driver behind it that defines it as the result of an emotional problem. I could call someone 20 times just to piss them off because I know their boss looks at their phone bill and having that punish me by say, withdrawing their attention, might make me stop. I could also call someone 20 times because I am petrified that I don't know where they are and I'm afraid they aren't coming back. In that case, ignoring me and my calls is unlikely to change my behavior (and on the off chance that it did, it's more likely a result of learned helplessness/depression and should not be considered a welcome change). Knowing some of the warning signs of depression, PTSD or generalized anxiety disorder is probably a responsible thing to do when the sub in your life allows you to take control of her, to use force with her, and to make matters more confusing, when there is a thin line between the hurt she likes and the hurt she doesn't. Well, there's my Public Service Announcement for the day. That and, only you can prevent forest fires.
|