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Economically inspired subs - 11/30/2009 2:27:01 PM   
trealeon


Posts: 180
Joined: 4/7/2007
Status: offline 		I'm editing this post to clarify my intent... I'm not upset about this, I'm not posting out of anger or to vent... I just noticed something and thought it would be interesting to post and get other opinions and feedback on. Thanks!

--------------------------------------------------------

I've noticed lately that there have been a lot subs/slaves saying they want 24/7, willing to relocate, etc. but a little digging and talking uncovers the true motive that, they've lost a job, are running behind, and have decided they just want someone to control and take care of them, so they can just not have to worry about anything.

Most are easy to spot... some even blatantly post they want a sugerdaddy, but I was wondering how you might be able to tell with someone who is a lot more subtle. In the main, wanting to be 24/7 or being willing to relocate is not that unusual, and I have met some very sincere submissives and slaves who truly do just want to stay home and be the good little maid/servant because that's what they desire, not because times are tough, or they don't feel like working a job... it's just their nature and what they aspire to do as a sub or slave.

Just looking more for feedback, opinions, and maybe analogies or insight into the type of vetting others might do or warning signs they notice. I'm not in this situation now, just something I noticed and thought would be interesting to ask the group at large (assuming this hasn't already been discussed fairly recently).

< Message edited by trealeon -- 11/30/2009 2:58:08 PM >

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RE: Economically inspired subs - 11/30/2009 2:33:54 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		Sooooo, if I happen to be down on my luck, I can't possibly be a suitable, highly motivated submissive person? And if I happen to have all those ducks in a row, I can't be looking to rip someone off? And regardless of either, it is automatically wrong to enter a relationship in which my primary function would NOT be earning a paycheck and making the bills? Damn.

lovingpet

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RE: Economically inspired subs - 11/30/2009 2:37:54 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline 		im pretty certain you cant be totally sure about anyone on the internet. its when you meet up and get a feel for how theyre runing their lives and how they behave generally that youll get the biggest clues.

anyone can be anything on here and its down to how clever they are at hiding their hidden agenda as to whether you suss them out on here or further down the track.

i suppose the thing to do is have a few well thought out questions on work, life and the universe.

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RE: Economically inspired subs - 11/30/2009 2:39:30 PM   
GYPSYMAMBO


Posts: 660
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline 		OP:
I recently met one who said he was "residentially challenged.."

I looked in my wallet and said

"I want to go to dinner but looks like I am in a receiving position"

GM

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RE: Economically inspired subs - 11/30/2009 2:41:44 PM   
trealeon


Posts: 180
Joined: 4/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

Sooooo, if I happen to be down on my luck, I can't possibly be a suitable, highly motivated submissive person?


No I didn't say that...

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

And if I happen to have all those ducks in a row, I can't be looking to rip someone off?


No, I didn't say that either...

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

And regardless of either, it is automatically wrong to enter a relationship in which my primary function would NOT be earning a paycheck and making the bills?


No I definitely didn't say that...


I'm not picking a fight with anyone who happens be down on their luck and I (personally) if I found one, would want a submissive who would rather be at home than work (though It's not on a list of requirements).

My original post was actually the thought process that occurred after reading a few profiles professing they want suger daddies and the like and situations where it is clear the other person is only looking because they feel that submission will solve their economic woes.


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RE: Economically inspired subs - 11/30/2009 2:41:46 PM   
Elisabella


Posts: 3939
Status: offline 		I fail to see what the problem is. If they're saying they want a sugar daddy, what concern is it of yours? I'm sure you skip by the women who say they want a sub without degrading their choice, why get caught up on other women who want something that you don't want?

And for the ones who want a man who will economically provide for them in return for their submission...well it worked for quite a few couples 100 years ago. It's called a traditional patriarchal relationship and again, if it's not what you're looking for, why do you care?

You wouldn't post on this board saying "I was talking to this woman and a few messages in she said SHE WANTED TO HAVE CHILDREN!!! OMG SHE WANTS SOMETHING I DONT WANT WHY DO SO MANY WOMEN WANT TO HAVE THIS BIZARRE THING CALLED CHILDREN WOMEN ARE WEIRD WTF IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD!!!!"

< Message edited by Elisabella -- 11/30/2009 2:43:10 PM >

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RE: Economically inspired subs - 11/30/2009 2:44:23 PM   
trealeon


Posts: 180
Joined: 4/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GYPSYMAMBO

OP:
I recently met one who said he was "residentially challenged.."

I looked in my wallet and said

"I want to go to dinner but looks like I am in a receiving position"

GM


HA!

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RE: Economically inspired subs - 11/30/2009 2:49:53 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: trealeon


quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

Sooooo, if I happen to be down on my luck, I can't possibly be a suitable, highly motivated submissive person?


No I didn't say that...

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

And if I happen to have all those ducks in a row, I can't be looking to rip someone off?


No, I didn't say that either...

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

And regardless of either, it is automatically wrong to enter a relationship in which my primary function would NOT be earning a paycheck and making the bills?


No I definitely didn't say that...


I'm not picking a fight with anyone who happens be down on their luck and I (personally) if I found one, would want a submissive who would rather be at home than work (though It's not on a list of requirements).

My original post was actually the thought process that occurred after reading a few profiles professing they want suger daddies and the like and situations where it is clear the other person is only looking because they feel that submission will solve their economic woes.



If they are blatantly stating such, then I guess you know that is not the person you want. If they are of such a mind, getting to know them will reveal that rather quickly. I just don't really see the logical line among all these things personally. Some people are looking and willing to deal with most anything to have a roof over their heads and food in their stomachs, but that really isn't so unusual. Whether or not that is an adequate reason to start and keep a relationship is for the individuals to decide. I wouldn't go there. I don't care that someone is down on their luck, but I do mind being used. If I felt I had a worthwhile relationship and then the person came on hard times, I don't think I'd have an issue bringing that person into my life 24/7. I am not able to afford the down time to be long, so the person would have to be actively seeking work and helping me with household obligations in the meantime. I would say if someone is on the internet buttering someone up when their lives are so disarrayed they don't even have a place to live, that seems off to me. Really, though, if it is not something you are interested in, then ignoring such profiles is the best thing.

lovingpet
who never picks fights

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RE: Economically inspired subs - 11/30/2009 2:56:02 PM   
trealeon


Posts: 180
Joined: 4/7/2007
Status: offline 		I think somewhere in my original post, I must have come off angry about this phenomenon and therefore posted to vent about it.

Let me clarify... that's not the case.

I saw something interesting, and I posted because I wanted to hear the opinions of others, get different points of view, and in general just start a conversation. Basically the tone I meant was "Hey guys, I just noticed this... what do you think about it."

I already skip over the profiles that clearly state what I don't want, I'm neither worried or upset with them... just thought it was something interesting to talk about.

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RE: Economically inspired subs - 11/30/2009 2:57:07 PM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline 		Yeah, it happens a lot- people venture into BDSM relationships to conceal or try to medicate underlying disfunction. It happens with both genders, on both sides of the kneel:

"I am a Goddess, so I do not intend to work or do housework. you will pay the bills and keep the house, you worm."
"I am a Master, so you will keep an outside job, turn over your paychecks to me, keep the house, and fetch me a beer, bitch."
"I am a pleasure slave, not a service maid. I need to be kept as Your prized jewel, constantly ready to give you pleasure in every way."
"I am a submissive boy, and am so devoted to You, my Goddess, that I intend to remain curled up in Your bed 24/7, willing to have sex with you in any position at a moment's notice."

These are all things I have heard or witnessed even before the economy tanked. I can only imagine it has gotten worse.
They all fall in the category of "nice work if you can get it."

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RE: Economically inspired subs - 11/30/2009 2:57:53 PM   
GYPSYMAMBO


Posts: 660
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline 		OP:
Some are honest like the guy who is on here and says
"I am just out of prison and have no where to go...and will cook and clean"
at least he is up front...
 
as well I got a message from a man in my city who lived at a hostel
and as we talked it was apparent he did know about submisstion
and did seek to serve ...was genuine ...but simply was homeless at the moment.
 
As for the DISHONEST..
One telling factor is always if you ask about work or if they want to relocate and you suggest they find a job first and they balk 
and you hear...
"Well I could just stay home..."
and have not told what skills they would bring to the home
or have no idea what SERVICE IN A HOME IS
 
MY 2nd  second "husband" as a man who hated working outside the home..
but he told it..and he brought his chef/butler/cleaning skills to the home.

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"Better served women will better serve the world"

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"A turd is still a turd even if it is shellaced!"

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RE: Economically inspired subs - 11/30/2009 3:01:50 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		This has been noted by others too. It seems to be a strong correlation with current economic climate. Areas that are struggling the worst seem to have increased numbers of submissives looking for just what you described. It also corresponds local weather too. You can see how any roof would be preferrable to no roof for some I am sure. There will be fewer when things warm back up and even fewer should an economic recovery of any real significance occur.

lovingpet

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RE: Economically inspired subs - 11/30/2009 3:02:35 PM   
EbonyWood


Posts: 2044
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline

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RE: Economically inspired subs - 11/30/2009 3:07:30 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I don't care what their current situation is. I care about what they think my expectations are.

We will move forward at MY pace..........I doubt anyone that is just looking for a place to live will be able to move at my pace.

They will be expected to work for several reasons. I am not wealthy. Serving me is NOT a full time position. Her future and well being......like health insurance and retirement planning.

I am a realist. If they expect me to save them and contribute nothing other than their 'service', they are talking to the wrong woman. I make sure they are fully aware of this from the very beginning.

They tend to disappear quickly.


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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Economically inspired subs - 11/30/2009 3:11:47 PM   
trealeon


Posts: 180
Joined: 4/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex

Yeah, it happens a lot- people venture into BDSM relationships to conceal or try to medicate underlying disfunction. It happens with both genders, on both sides of the kneel:

"I am a Goddess, so I do not intend to work or do housework. you will pay the bills and keep the house, you worm."
"I am a Master, so you will keep an outside job, turn over your paychecks to me, keep the house, and fetch me a beer, bitch."
"I am a pleasure slave, not a service maid. I need to be kept as Your prized jewel, constantly ready to give you pleasure in every way."
"I am a submissive boy, and am so devoted to You, my Goddess, that I intend to remain curled up in Your bed 24/7, willing to have sex with you in any position at a moment's notice."

These are all things I have heard or witnessed even before the economy tanked. I can only imagine it has gotten worse.
They all fall in the category of "nice work if you can get it."



I think the ones I've encountered go a lot like the "pleasure slave" example you gave but a little more along the lines of "you must take care of me, buy me everything I want, give me an expense account, and make sure I am sufficiently pampered and then I will have sex any way you want" which kinda makes me laugh a little when they say that's how they view having a D/s relationship. But as I said in my original post, those are very easy to spot.

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RE: Economically inspired subs - 11/30/2009 3:14:01 PM   
hazze


Posts: 9
Joined: 8/22/2008
Status: offline 		Interesting stuff.

Serious about D/s relationships and lifestlye and just happens to be down on their luck = No problem :)
Down on their luck, wanting someone to take care of them and see BDSM as a meal ticket = not so good :(

I can see the OP's point.
There do seem to be a lot of people out there with no understanding of BDSM just looking for a meal ticket.

But i think its very hard to tell what really motivates people.

One thing i've noticed. The really blatant ones often don't like to talk much about themselves and their interests in submission or dominination. Its easier for them to ask lots of questions and them claim to be whatever it is your really seeking.



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RE: Economically inspired subs - 11/30/2009 3:14:21 PM   
wisdomtogive


Posts: 636
Joined: 11/13/2009
Status: offline 		Perhaps Op you are just disappointed in not finding what you are looking for, because what you described is really not of your concern, if stated in the beginning. Shocked? Why would you be? Why do you assume everyone should live their life under your values?

In my case the Dom that i was under consideration , a short awhile back, didn't come out at first with wanting someone to support him financially. The red flags came out later, and i am proud of myself to not totally buy in to his smooth talking sales pitch. It confused me too because i thought at his age he would have known better. LoL, heck at my age, I should have known better:).  So  there will be submissives and Doms on here looking for someone to give tribute to their lively hood. For me, that is not going to happen on their part or mine. Also not a Cm problem it is rampant all over these dating sites, vanilla and BDSM.

< Message edited by wisdomtogive -- 11/30/2009 3:15:57 PM >

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RE: Economically inspired subs - 11/30/2009 3:15:08 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		~Fast Reply~

It happens but on the flip side some guys want to be sugardaddies (however odd that might seem). I've had a few offers that made me tempted to buy a PO box and tell them to start sending me proof of how they could keep me!

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

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RE: Economically inspired subs - 11/30/2009 3:22:11 PM   
trealeon


Posts: 180
Joined: 4/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

~Fast Reply~

It happens but on the flip side some guys want to be sugardaddies (however odd that might seem). I've had a few offers that made me tempted to buy a PO box and tell them to start sending me proof of how they could keep me!


Now that I never thought about. Do you think a lot of the guys who profess to want to be suger daddies are serious or are they just baiting to see if they can get something they want?

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RE: Economically inspired subs - 11/30/2009 3:23:12 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

~Fast Reply~

It happens but on the flip side some guys want to be sugardaddies (however odd that might seem). I've had a few offers that made me tempted to buy a PO box and tell them to start sending me proof of how they could keep me!


In my time here, all the people that offered such, not ONE backed it up. What can I say, I was bored one day and created a paypal acct just to see. All talk and noooooooo cashola.

I guess I will just keep looking for substance rather than the elusive trust fund baby.......le' sigh.......


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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