lovingpet
Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
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I've done both too. I know perfectly well that keeping a home and children will never pitch the same respect and be viewed as beneficial to the workforce, but that says more about society as a whole than it does the importance of doing such.
I have kind of had to take a step back on the escapism issue a little bit. For the most part, I still believe using bdsm or any number of other things as an escape from the realities of life is not healthy and will not result in a positive outcome. Keeping that in mind, however, I do think that many people who enter do so realizing there is something they are doing and have to maintain that isn't working. Something is sucking the life out of people. When all is said and done, the changes that need to occur may look very much like escapism. As a matter of fact, it is escapism of the survival variety. In the case of a submissive as in the OP, this may be breaking from a formal work environment or going to an independent work environment because the person may be very exploitable. A submissive may have trouble keeping decision making and priorities free of emotional baggage. A submissive may wander into abusive situations with family, friends, and intimates more easily. These are not to be taken as true for any or all submissives. I will say they are and were very true of me. If I am judging someone, then I am judging myself. The point is that my relationship with my partner does and will address these matters in a way that allows me to be free of the damaging effects these traits can produce in my life. Maybe I should be a better human being and overcome my own innate traits by sheer force of my own will, but that hasn't worked out so well for me so far. We choose partners in life, hopefully, based on the idea that we not only share a lot in common, but that our differences compliment each other. He is strong where I am weak and I excel in areas that give him difficulty. As much as it is a benefit to me to work on my weak areas, there is no reason not to have some support along the way (emotional, etc, not money to clarify). There is a certain escapism to being free to be exactly who you are and being able to thrive because another is able to close the gaps. I close some gaps for him as well. There is nothing wrong with trading pain for joy.
lovingpet
quote:
ORIGINAL: Missokyst
I did both. I was the stay at home mom and later, the one who worked and still did all the rest of the things I did when I was a stay at home mom. Either way it was difficult. But, I will always be glad that when the first job was done, that I had the ability to carry on with the second part because I was determined always to be prepared. Many people (as explained in his post, and so many other financial posts before), choose bdsm as an escape. The danger in this is when things end. Sad as it is to say, finding jobs is not as easy when you are older and there is a lapse of work history to explain. Somehow many employers lack the ability to view homemakng as a job, so no matter how much it should be recognised, I don't think it will ever reach that level of respect.
quote:
ORIGINAL: lovingpet
My frustration lies with this strange idea people have that staying at home and doing the domestic side of things is so much easier than having a job. It just isn't so. It is a mistake men in my life have made too to think that only their day could be exaughsting, frustrating, etc. I am so thankful for my psych degree every time I have to outmanuever my kids or work out a deal with the neighbors for a much needed outing over the weekend. I am quite content with being the one that stays home, but I do appreciate simple recognition that what I do matters.
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If you put your head into more, you'd have to put your back into less. ~Me
10 Fluffy pts.
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RE: Economically inspired subs - 
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