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RE: subs Craving Strap ons and "forced" bi sc... - 1/3/2005 7:36:32 AM   
ProtagonistLily


Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline 		Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!!

First off, I'm very greatful for this space. I'm in an odd position right now in my local scene, and it's nice to be able to discuss things in a neutral setting. I was, for years, a bottom. About a year and a half ago, things started not to feel right so I began to identify as a switch. Once I started to Top, I found myself, and only Top now. I've had a harder time getting some of the older local Fem Dommes to take me seriously, so I thank you for allowing me to participate in this space.

I had a discussion about strap ons, forced fem and CD/TV's with regard to male submissives with a couple Fem Dommes I know locally, and was judged as closed minded when I expressed some misgivings about what I heard from the male subs about liking these things. I don't. I find a male sub who is into strap-ons and cross dressing to not fit my objectives and goals as a Dominant. A submissive who wants a lot of ass play from his Domme isn't for me, because I have less than manly associations with that. Are these men wrong for wanting these activities? Not at all, but they aren't for me.

I'm tired of being judged by my real life friends and I'm enjoying realizing that I'm not the only one with these preferences out there. When I bottomed, I bottomed to Tops who were sadistic bastards who could do good head-fuck scenes. These men and women were not my Masters or Mistresses and they were competent Tops who enjoyed these kinds of scenes. Nothing is mutually exclusive. In order to be able to play the way I wanted to, I had to search for Tops that enjoyed these kinks as well.

I operate pretty much the same way as a Top. If I'm getting no pleasure out of something, I'm not inclined to do it. Also, one size doesn't fit all, and I wish to God that submissives would understand that. I need chemistry....I need a spark. I have to be motivated to put in the time to think creatively about an activity and bring it from the sterile environment of my imagination into fruition of real life. This takes time and energy. Sometimes I don't think submissives appreciate the planning that goes into a really fun scene.

For me, it's not all about the sadism. Sadism is certainly part of scenes if the submissive is receptive to it. It's not fun for me to play sadistically with someone who's not, at least on some level, enjoying it. I'm talking play here, not punishment. Punishment is a whole other topic.

The only time I'm compelled to use strapons or cross dressing with someone I'm playing with is in a humiliation context. I'm not interested in submissives who enjoy wearing women's clothes or are heavy into having their own asses worshipped.

I was talking to a Domme friend of mine yesterday about opening a Submissive Finishing School. The more I realize that other Domme's are encountering the same stuff that frustrates me, the more the idea appeals to me

Lily

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressMisty122

I see this as the exact opposite of worshipping a womans body and feminity..yet I hear it from almost all the subs out there! This tells me they are craving a man and a strap on or dildo has nothing to do with 'me'. Its more about servicing 'them'. I find this highly disrespectful. Is this the norm or just subs Ive run into?
Thanks, I appreciate whatever info you can provide.


(in reply to MistressMisty122)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: subs Craving Strap ons and "forced" bi sc... - 1/17/2005 1:19:32 PM   
pantera


Posts: 210
Joined: 1/7/2005
Status: offline 		LadyAngelica: I agree with you about liking to give head: I've always gotten compliments on my performance ;) and it is a very useful tool even in my vanilla marriage-

I also would LOVE to "club" a guy (I've been asking my husband for years...no luck)

and my husband is not ashamed to go out and rent me some of those man on man movies I like so much


(in reply to MistressMisty122)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: subs Craving Strap ons and "forced" bi sc... - 1/17/2005 1:39:32 PM   
servantnj


Posts: 39
Joined: 3/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressMisty122

no, the fact is that I DO understand that mostr men are closet fags...


hmm interesting use of words here let me see:

fag (short for faggot)
Used as a disparaging term for a homosexual man.

well many submisive males like humiliation as part of the scene, but why humiliate whole group of people. I am sorry i just needed to say something about it, it reminded me too much of "Why God hates fags" saying. nothing personal dear Ms Misty1

_____________________________

Why pamper life's complexity
When the leather runs smooth
On the passenger seat ?
-The Smiths

(in reply to MistressMisty122)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: subs Craving Strap ons and "forced" bi sc... - 1/22/2005 8:05:01 PM   
aman2bwhipped


Posts: 19
Joined: 12/7/2004
Status: offline 		I love your view Ma'am I have not received a strap on but desire it so much.
I get turned on by the thought of the power and a Dominant women I hope it hurts like hell the first time and she makes me cry. I have come to belive in Feamle superiority

I would love that.

terry

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: subs Craving Strap ons and "forced" bi sc... - 12/7/2006 12:31:46 PM   
pinkkeith


Posts: 605
Joined: 11/26/2006
From: Illinois
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressMisty122

I see this as the exact opposite of worshipping a womans body and feminity..yet I hear it from almost all the subs out there! This tells me they are craving a man and a strap on or dildo has nothing to do with 'me'. Its more about servicing 'them'. I find this highly disrespectful. Is this the norm or just subs Ive run into?
Thanks, I appreciate whatever info you can provide.


Actually, this could be servicing the Domme if this is something that pleases her. I could see if the Domme doen't like it how it would be viewed as servicing the sub.

I don't see this action really as being an opposition to worshiping the female form. It could be viewed as the male sub trying to experience and get closer to feminity. If you hold the theological ideology that every should try to became like the God(dess) then this action isn't really an opposition to the worship of the female.

(in reply to MistressMisty122)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: subs Craving Strap ons and "forced" bi sc... - 12/7/2006 2:21:09 PM   
jdtallfem


Posts: 180
Joined: 10/8/2006
Status: offline 		First,  I love strap on play for all the reasons listed.  That and milking can be very powerful, hitting a great pleasure point in a sub/slaves anus.  It's also extreme domination.  I enjoy it greatly.  The fact that an extreme erogenous zone, the prostrate, is up a man's ass has not been lost on the gay population and can be a great source of pleasure control for the Domme.
Second, I don't enjoy forced bi, but that's just my taste.  I've had many homosexual friends through the years and figure if a sub/slave wants that, he can get it on his own.
Third, I really DO enjoy hearing what it is that "floats the boat" of the sub/slave I'm meeting and might form a LTR with, to see if we're compatable, if it's something I love to do too, or something I can twist, make it my own and enjoy in my own right.  I should hope I'm not the only partner with an active imagination and I really get off on hearing what it is the sub/slave wants, so long as it's not so detailed and micro managed a scene that there is no room for my imagination.

(in reply to pinkkeith)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: subs Craving Strap ons and "forced" bi sc... - 12/7/2006 2:39:09 PM   
pixelslave


Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkkeith

Actually, this could be servicing the Domme if this is something that pleases her. I could see if the Domme doen't like it how it would be viewed as servicing the sub.

I don't see this action really as being an opposition to worshiping the female form. It could be viewed as the male sub trying to experience and get closer to feminity. If you hold the theological ideology that every should try to became like the God(dess) then this action isn't really an opposition to the worship of the female.



You've hit on one element for certain.  There are so many different aspects to strap-on play, both physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual, that depending on the people involved and the way it's done, the meaning and implications of the interaction can be countless and will doubtless overlap each other in numerous ways.  To assume its all one element or another is indeed taking a narrow minded view of all that could be involved.

Ultimately, I'd hope that all who peruse the boards here could kindly take the view that "Your Kink Is Not My Kink" without placing judgement when they do; lest they find find their kink happens to become the next one to find itself in the spotlight for judgement by the rest.

- pixel

_____________________________

Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to pinkkeith)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: subs Craving Strap ons and "forced" bi sc... - 12/7/2006 3:07:28 PM   
Morrigel


Posts: 492
Joined: 10/13/2006
Status: offline 		I like making men gasp and moan in painful ecstasy.

Anything that gives them unbearably intense pleasure is fun-fun-fun. 

For some men, that includes a little anal play, in some form or other.

I sharply distinguish between anal play that involves me as the penetrating partner and "forced bi" play which involves pushing my partner into sexual relations of ANY kind with another man--it doesn't matter whether it's oral, anal or dancing the tango.  Fantasies of this kind, where homosexual behavior is used as a punishment or a humiliation, are not my cup of tea.  I do not consider gay men "disgusting", nor is homosexuality "shameful", "wrong", or to be construed as a "punishment" of some kind.  If you want to have sex with men--do it.  Don't make it about me, because it isn't. 

I feel the same way about "forced" feminization.  Anyone who considers it "humiliating" to take on feminine characteristics is basically asserting that women are inferior to men, and that it's humiliating or degrading to become one.  This is not an attitude which is going to bring out the best in me, to say the least.

--M

< Message edited by Morrigel -- 12/7/2006 3:10:16 PM >

(in reply to pixelslave)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: subs Craving Strap ons and "forced" bi sc... - 12/7/2006 3:26:00 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressMisty122

no, the fact is that I DO understand that mostr men are closet fags...just like Mistress Zanthia said she lost subs to "bi curious or bi sexual" guys who were just looking to be "forced" into performing with other men. I will not explain anything else to you bc you obviously dont understand what Im talking about here...which leads ME to question why you would even respond...you obviously just want to argue, which is a waste of my energy.


I haven't even read the rest of the thread yet and I've got to say...

Why the *BLEEP* *BLEEP* *BLEEP* are you using the word fag to describe a sexuality that is just as natural as your own?

You feel you don't need to give your sub any pleasure. In fact you state you don't even desire to. I am taking this to mean that you don't give a damn about them at all, or how they feel. As a submissive, I view that as... well to be as blunt as you are... disgusting. I am my dominant's to do with whatever he likes but he actually cares about me and will do something just because it pleases me (if I've been good). But I realize that not everyone puts love in this lifestyle. And I'll be as respectful of them as they are other people.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to MistressMisty122)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: subs Craving Strap ons and "forced" bi sc... - 12/7/2006 3:30:55 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Morrigel

I sharply distinguish between anal play that involves me as the penetrating partner and "forced bi" play which involves pushing my partner into sexual relations of ANY kind with another man--it doesn't matter whether it's oral, anal or dancing the tango.  Fantasies of this kind, where homosexual behavior is used as a punishment or a humiliation, are not my cup of tea.  I do not consider gay men "disgusting", nor is homosexuality "shameful", "wrong", or to be construed as a "punishment" of some kind.  If you want to have sex with men--do it.  Don't make it about me, because it isn't. 

I feel the same way about "forced" feminization.  Anyone who considers it "humiliating" to take on feminine characteristics is basically asserting that women are inferior to men, and that it's humiliating or degrading to become one.  This is not an attitude which is going to bring out the best in me, to say the least.

--M


Hummm, what I would like to say, but said much better.  Hummm I love strap-ons....but I do not believe in "forced-bi activities".
It really does not exist unless you are literally "forced" with a gun to your head, etc.
I have no interest in "forcing" a man to be with another man.  Maybe he should find a Dom to force him?

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to Morrigel)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: subs Craving Strap ons and "forced" bi sc... - 12/7/2006 4:20:45 PM   
orfunboi


Posts: 1223
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressMisty122

no, the fact is that I DO understand that mostr men are closet fags...


You say that, like it's a bad thing.....

(in reply to MistressMisty122)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: subs Craving Strap ons and "forced" bi sc... - 12/7/2006 4:43:41 PM   
DianeB269


Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

As for forced bi...


Ok. Two issues are being confounded here. Sodomy & homosexuality.

A woman fucking a man up the ass is a heterosexual act.
A man fucking a man up the ass is a homosexual act.
A woman fucking a woman up the ass is also a homosexual act.

None of these are bisexual acts. In fact, I’m not so sure what could be a bisexual act as bisexual cannot be reduced to an act like heterosexual or homosexual.

Then again, put 2 men & 2 women all in the same room and have them switch around and perhaps that could be a bisexual act. Throw in a transgender person in the mix and now you have a party!

But seriously, getting back to sodomy…

Why do many tend to refer to women fucking men up the ass as a bi act or forced bi. Is it because people consider sodomy a male homosexual practice? So when a man fucks a woman up the ass, is that a forced bi act too? I mean, it’s sodomy, right?

Seriously, there is nothing inherently homosexual about sodomy. I know quite a few guys (sub, Dom, vanilla, other) that like a little probe around the prostate. I love to bring men (and women) to the darkest recesses of their mind and to very high levels of pleasure; that is perhaps my #1 kink. Sometimes sodomy fits nicely into that.

- LA



I've trained many guys with strapons over the last 12 years. 98% straight and 2% bi.
F2m strapon play does not mean the guy is gay.

Diane

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: subs Craving Strap ons and "forced" bi sc... - 12/7/2006 4:47:14 PM   
pinkkeith


Posts: 605
Joined: 11/26/2006
From: Illinois
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Morrigel
I feel the same way about "forced" feminization.  Anyone who considers it "humiliating" to take on feminine characteristics is basically asserting that women are inferior to men, and that it's humiliating or degrading to become one.  This is not an attitude which is going to bring out the best in me, to say the least.


Yes, I agree with this 100%. I don't understand how it can be humilating to take on feminine traits and still worship femininity.

(in reply to Morrigel)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: subs Craving Strap ons and "forced" bi sc... - 12/7/2006 4:54:26 PM   
DianeB269


Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Morrigel

I like making men gasp and moan in painful ecstasy.

Anything that gives them unbearably intense pleasure is fun-fun-fun. 

For some men, that includes a little anal play, in some form or other.

I sharply distinguish between anal play that involves me as the penetrating partner and "forced bi" play which involves pushing my partner into sexual relations of ANY kind with another man--it doesn't matter whether it's oral, anal or dancing the tango.  Fantasies of this kind, where homosexual behavior is used as a punishment or a humiliation, are not my cup of tea.  I do not consider gay men "disgusting", nor is homosexuality "shameful", "wrong", or to be construed as a "punishment" of some kind.  If you want to have sex with men--do it.  Don't make it about me, because it isn't. 

I feel the same way about "forced" feminization.  Anyone who considers it "humiliating" to take on feminine characteristics is basically asserting that women are inferior to men, and that it's humiliating or degrading to become one.  This is not an attitude which is going to bring out the best in me, to say the least.

--M


Morrigel

I know you've seen how big the strapons I use on guys. Believe me, they moan and
gasp when I' m training. Sometime they even run out the door before we get started.

No, I don't like them dressed in drag, I want them to look and take it like a man.

Diane

< Message edited by DianeB269 -- 12/7/2006 4:58:24 PM >

(in reply to Morrigel)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: subs Craving Strap ons and "forced" bi sc... - 12/7/2006 7:00:23 PM   
DianeB269


Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		Not into watching 2 guys going at it either.

(in reply to DianeB269)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: subs Craving Strap ons and "forced" bi sc... - 12/7/2006 7:14:15 PM   
fergus


Posts: 1110
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		Damn it, where are the Dommes with this sort of attitude in my area? lol

fergus

(in reply to DianeB269)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: subs Craving Strap ons and "forced" bi sc... - 12/7/2006 7:17:59 PM   
DianeB269


Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		Good or bad thing?

(in reply to fergus)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: subs Craving Strap ons and "forced" bi sc... - 12/7/2006 7:44:09 PM   
catfood


Posts: 52
Joined: 11/30/2006
From: new jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressMisty122

no, the fact is that I DO understand that most men are closet fags

(spelling errors corrected)

damn, you pegged me!  if only i'd known !!!

_____________________________

constitutionally incapable of using the shift key...

(in reply to MistressMisty122)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: subs Craving Strap ons and "forced" bi sc... - 12/7/2006 7:48:21 PM   
fergus


Posts: 1110
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DianeB269

Good or bad thing?


Bad thing that I can't find any!

Ob-la-di, ob-la-da

fergus

(in reply to DianeB269)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: subs Craving Strap ons and "forced" bi sc... - 12/10/2006 10:34:10 AM   
Quiatete


Posts: 9
Joined: 11/21/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressMisty122

I see this as the exact opposite of worshipping a womans body and feminity..yet I hear it from almost all the subs out there! This tells me they are craving a man and a strap on or dildo has nothing to do with 'me'. Its more about servicing 'them'. I find this highly disrespectful. Is this the norm or just subs Ive run into?
Thanks, I appreciate whatever info you can provide.
:appears from the woodwork--I'll post my intro in a sec:

My sub is bi and actually desires to be fucked by a man. I am happy to play this role for a couple of reasons: 1) I don't feel entirely female, and am not comfortable using my "female parts." (lol... euphemisms much?) and 2) it puts him in a very vulnerable, subby space that I absolutely adore.

So I don't know if I apply to this thread, seeing as I don't really like my femininity worshipped, but for all intents and purposes I do identify as female.

Just thought I'd throw in my 2 cents.


(in reply to MistressMisty122)
Profile   Post #: 60
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