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barelynangel -> RE: The CollarMe "Biggest Loser" Gang WANTS YOU!!1! (5/20/2010 12:28:27 PM)
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Hi Bestheadyet,
Ohh yeah i struggle, and i sabotage myself all the time. I am not one to share a lot of me publically which is why i don't say much about myself my achievements or my failures. However, part of my struggle is my protection mechanism. My former Master was my "trainer and keeper" so to speak where he monitored my physical being very closely and when if felt i was getting fat or becoming out of shape, he would up his requirements of me. The problem is, i never had to "do anything" about it because he did all the work so to speak and i only had to obey. The protection mechanism i had when i was free was to change myself as fast as i could so that i wouldn't appeal to him any longer -- i gained as much weight as i could and i cut off my hair (two of the things he obsessed about). But the problem is i lost control over it and while i have great knowledge even for what works for me and what sucks is i do lose weight quickly and easily with just a little bit of effort and thought, i sabotage myself all the time and when i lose weight my head sabotages myself and i panic and freak and stop listening to the voice that says its okay now, just do it you'll feel better and i revert back to my comfortable uncomfortableness. So my problem isn't necessarily not knowing what to do and the ins and outs of what works and what doesn't work, my problem is actually DOING it. There are days i wish all it took was working out and eating right for me. grins, which is why i offer the tips because i love helping others or giving them the information i have so that they will have information to play around with until they find what works for them.
I have my preferences -- i.e., low carb, higher fat. But i also love weight loss for people, which is why TBL is one of my favorite shows -- my ultimate dream is to open a gym that sorta follows the biggest loser concept with trainers (of all different theories and outlooks so people have more than one thing to choose from), counseling and motivational people and people who have succeeded paying it forward through volunteering helping others who are just starting, nutritionists all part of the package of the gyms fee and have it focused on weight loss for people with an income based ability for people to join and once i have that rolling, my baby will be the addition to this being a kids gym of the same concept that runs strickly via charitable funds and volunteering from those who are part of the adult gym and have had success -- as i love fundraising. So grins i am an information hound and love offering same for people so they can be also.
grins, one thing i don't advocate is starvation -- raises an eyebrow at you lol.
Anyway, yeah, i struggle so much so its a psychological situation for me more than a physical one. I just don't share a lot of myself with people i don't know and must to the frustration of my friends, its really hard to know me at all even with the closer connection. I know what the issue is and one day i will win the fight and break free of what i now consider my voluntary prison of my own making lol. Yeah the trip and clothes are nice the thing is i need to focus and getter done as is said, and that will take effort that is more for me than working out and eating right. When i am ready to do that, i think i will finally allow myself to achieve my goal.
angel
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