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RE: Appearing in public as a slave for the first time - 12/4/2009 9:02:20 AM   
Aynne88


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AnimusRex excellent post. This is the second post of yours today that I have read and thought you hit the nail on the head so to speak. The other was in the Gorean Forums regarding feminism, also an impressive display.

Quite correct, we *the CM community* can't even come to a consensus on this, I highly doubt that it is as simple as just calling someone Master at a vanilla party and having it be accepted. Naive at best, and passive aggressive at worst.

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RE: Appearing in public as a slave for the first time - 12/4/2009 12:30:09 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NymphetamineGirl

My master invited me to a party of some mutual friends (vanilla). Until now, the nature of our relationship has been kept private, at my request. I am new to this world yet, and still upset when people who will never understand judge me. At the same time, I am proud to be his, I want to run in the streets screaming it.

I know he can protect me and would never share me. He has left the decision in my hands.

Any subs/slaves care to share about their experience in this? What concerns did you have? What precautions did you take?


I'd need to know more about these vanilla friends and more detail about what he is requiring from you in attending the party. I'm one of the group that finds imposing kink in any way upon others to be distasteful because I am a private person who thinks that whatever I do in private should stay private. This is not to say that I would not serve my man in basic ways or show him considerations that would be construed as being old fashioned or affectionate as others have pointed out.

Perhaps a more detailed discussion with your Master would help you decide what you are comfortable doing. Go over each point specifically and negotiate with him as to what the answer will be. If he is wanting you to call him Master...how do you feel? How will the others feel? If he wants you to refill his drink without being asked....? If he wants you to take a seat on the floor beside him? Will you be expected to wear your collar and/or a leash to the party or some type of fetish clothing? Are you going to get spanked in public if you don't perform adequately? There is just a lot here that is ambiguous and makes it hard to fully answer your question. I do feel that since it is in a vanilla setting the sensebilities of other people attending the party should be taken into account but that's just me.

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RE: Appearing in public as a slave for the first time - 12/4/2009 1:03:17 PM   
HisSweetElysium


Posts: 600
Joined: 11/12/2009
Status: offline 		Master and I have talked about this ourselves. Our consensus is that happiness or pleasure derived from something that causes unhappiness or discomfort in others is false happiness and comes at too high a price.  I call Him dear, and honey, and babe in private, I also call Him Sir and Master.  So when we're socializing, it's dear or honey. I kneel at His feet in private, and when we are together socially, sometimes I will casually sit at His feet, if it's appropriate. I will ask Him if He would like drinks, food, etc.  None of that is offputting to others. What passes between us in these interactions WE know to be meaningful and special, that's the point. I would love for everyone to know the status of our relationship, but the reality of it is, without understanding our dynamic, people will judge. Is it right? No.  But it's reality and you have to live in the world that is, not what should be. 

Consider this. I have full sleeves and am heavily tattooed beyond that.  In professional situations, and new experiences with people who matter, I often cover them. I just did this, thanksgiving dinner, first time meeting His parents. Should I have to? Absolutely not!  But I've been living in this colorful skin for 10 years, and the reality is, people judge.  And I did not get the tattoos for others, I got them for myself. I don't need to share every last part of who I am with people when I first meet them.  If the time comes when I feel they do deserve to share that part of me, it's always well received, because I have already established myself as an intelligent, empathetic, funny and warm person.

Kink is no different.  Why do others need to know my business?  Do they DESERVE to be admitted into my "circle of trust?" I engage in my kink for MYSELF, not to prove something to other people.  I understand the desire to take play into a public level, believe me I do, but there are clubs and parties of people who are willing to be a part of that experience. I don't think it's something that should be forced on anyone who is not willing to be a part of it, or is not expecting it.

Just my .02


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RE: Appearing in public as a slave for the first time - 12/4/2009 1:10:09 PM   
wisdomtogive


Posts: 636
Joined: 11/13/2009
Status: offline 		Hello Nymphetamine
Let me give you an example of me going out with my late husband to visit friends. This example i want to use cause we all were vanilla. Thet would greet us, and i  would always sit on the floor, which is where i enjoyed sitting. No one made a thing out of it. it was natural to see me sit on the floor. if He wanted coffee, i get up and also ask if i could get anyone else refills, or if the hostess was doing, i offer my help. No i didnt wear a collar, but a wedding band, and a lot of gemstone beaded necklaces. i would be lost without them..So you go with your collar, perhaps your master gave you one to wear out in public, you kneel or sit at his feet, and you do what you know would make him comfortable in the setting. See, no difference just labels. No i didnt call him Master or hubby, but that was the only difference. Perhaps you two can settle for Sir or another polite name for the time being? 

One more thing when going into a party that is primary Christian you will not see me wear my pentagram ring. It is out of respect for them, why i do that, and not in dishonor to who i pray too.

< Message edited by wisdomtogive -- 12/4/2009 1:13:13 PM >

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RE: Appearing in public as a slave for the first time - 12/4/2009 3:21:42 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex


quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella
I mean seriously, if she views him as her Master, she should call him Master.


If the title Master is important, so important that it is worth whatever social ostracism that comes with it, by all means, speak it loudly, proudly.

"Hello, nice to meet you! This is Debbie my SLAVE, and I am William, her MASTER. Yes, Master. No, not boyfriend. MASTER. Yep, exactly. "

And then you can spend the rest of the evening trying to explain to them what you mean. Because they really won't understand. Even the most hip and culturally aware people only have a hazy view of this, formed as likely by CSI episodes as by HBO's Real Sex.

Look at how the words Master and slave are argued about on these very threads- is there a difference between human trafficking and consensual slavery, is this fundamentally misogynist, etc etc.

And this is by people who are within the lifestyle! And you expect a vanilla group to "get it" and nod politely?

And even then, at the end of the evening, after you have explained to everyone what your titles mean, that this is consensual, that you are not a human-trafficking woman-hating wife-beater, that you really are nice folks, be aware that you will NOT be remembered as "William and Debbie, that nice accountant and his girlfriend" but forever be "that weird kinky S&M couple we met at that party", and anything else about your character will be overshadowed by your lifestyle.



Yup!!!

quote:


But here is the thing- why ARE titles important? Why is it so important to be called a "slave" versus "very submissive and devoted wife"?


Combination of INSECURITY and INCONSIDERATENESS.


quote:


Is it just a niggling lignuistic point of order, like calling it a "dachsund" instead of a weiner dog? Are we all linguists, fixated on word etymology and semiotics?

I think what is at play, is that the very words themselves are part of the kink. Naming oneself a Master or slave is in and of itself part of the erotic pleasure.


Very true.

quote:


...Constantly repeating "I am slave" is a way of building an identity, and slipping into that emotional state of being that the power dynamic requires. This is why people fight so fiercely to own that word, why telling someone they are not really a slave is a huge insult, and makes them angry. It is a challenge to their identity, negating their sense of themselves.


Bingo!  The words themselves (whether used/spoken or not) change nothing... the paring are still Master/slave, Dom/sub, Daddy/daughter, or whatever;  with or without the titles.  Those that NEED to use those words/titles with others outside their relationship may NEED to do so in order to feed that "identity" and "sense of themselves"; which I believe shows insecurity in said "identity" and "sense in themselves".

< Message edited by MasterSlaveLA -- 12/4/2009 3:26:00 PM >

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RE: Appearing in public as a slave for the first time - 12/4/2009 4:10:40 PM   
Elisabella


Posts: 3939
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex


quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella
I mean seriously, if she views him as her Master, she should call him Master.


If the title Master is important, so important that it is worth whatever social ostracism that comes with it, by all means, speak it loudly, proudly.
"Hello, nice to meet you! This is Debbie my SLAVE, and I am William, her MASTER. Yes, Master. No, not boyfriend. MASTER. Yep, exactly. "

And then you can spend the rest of the evening trying to explain to them what you mean. Because they really won't understand. Even the most hip and culturally aware people only have a hazy view of this, formed as likely by CSI episodes as by HBO's Real Sex.
Look at how the words Master and slave are argued about on these very threads- is there a difference between human trafficking and consensual slavery, is this fundamentally misogynist, etc etc.

And this is by people who are within the lifestyle! And you expect a vanilla group to "get it" and nod politely?

And even then, at the end of the evening, after you have explained to everyone what your titles mean, that this is consensual, that you are not a human-trafficking woman-hating wife-beater, that you really are nice folks, be aware that you will NOT be remembered as "William and Debbie, that nice accountant and his girlfriend" but forever be "that weird kinky S&M couple we met at that party", and anything else about your character will be overshadowed by your lifestyle.

But hey, if having her call you Master in public is worth all that, go right ahead.

But here is the thing- why ARE titles important? Why is it so important to be called a "slave" versus "very submissive and devoted wife"?
Is it just a niggling lignuistic point of order, like calling it a "dachsund" instead of a weiner dog? Are we all linguists, fixated on word etymology and semiotics?

I think what is at play, is that the very words themselves are part of the kink. Naming oneself a Master or slave is in and of itself part of the erotic pleasure. The world we live in is a self-constructed world that hovers right on the boundary between fantasy and reality.

What we call enslavement is actually "internal enslavement", a process where one person is held in a self-created state of submission to another. There are a lot of tools for constructing this emotional state, and part of how we form our understanding of reality by the words we use, the names we call ourselves. Constantly repeating "I am slave" is a way of building an identity, and slipping into that emotional state of being that the power dynamic requires.

This is why people fight so fiercely to own that word, why telling someone they are not really a slave is a huge insult, and makes them angry. It is a challenge to their identity, negating their sense of themselves.

Which, at the end, is why it may very well be important enough to tell Aunt Gertie that this girl is not your girlfriend, but is your slave and you are her Master.


Right, I personally agree with you in my own life, but I think you missed the point of my post.

I was saying it's messed up to say "it might make people look at you weird or make them uncomfortable so you shouldn't do it." Which is a lot of the advice she's received so far.

My point was that she should instead look at the situation and say "it might make people look at me weird or make them uncomfortable AM I OKAY WITH THAT" and then make a decision *for herself* rather than saying "everyone else says I shouldn't so I won't, because I don't trust my own compass when it's contradicted by people who don't live my life or share my exact values"

< Message edited by Elisabella -- 12/4/2009 4:11:15 PM >

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RE: Appearing in public as a slave for the first time - 12/4/2009 4:21:50 PM   
Elisabella


Posts: 3939
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA
Bingo!  The words themselves (whether used/spoken or not) change nothing... the paring are still Master/slave, Dom/sub, Daddy/daughter, or whatever;  with or without the titles.  Those that NEED to use those words/titles with others outside their relationship may NEED to do so in order to feed that "identity" and "sense of themselves"; which I believe shows insecurity in said "identity" and "sense in themselves".


I disagree, it's not insecurity. Not too long ago our culture was such that gays who didn't want to make people uncomfortable had "roommates" and "friends" - I don't think it would be a sign of insecurity for a gay guy to want to say "hey, that roommate of mine? I fucking love him ok? I love him and he's my boyfriend and if we could get married he'd be my husband, and yeah I know that makes people uncomfortable but it's not their life to live, it's mine and I'm not going to make myself uncomfortable in MY own skin for the sake of people who don't care about me enough to be happy for my happiness."

There's a difference between needing to use the word in order to validate your own identity, vs. saying "there's nothing WRONG with my identity, I'm not doing anything immoral or illegal and I see no valid reason to hide it. Let people think what they want."

I will say that there are plenty of situations where it's socially beneficial not to tell anyone the type of relationship you're in. But that's entirely different.

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RE: Appearing in public as a slave for the first time - 12/4/2009 5:06:16 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella


quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA
Bingo!  The words themselves (whether used/spoken or not) change nothing... the paring are still Master/slave, Dom/sub, Daddy/daughter, or whatever;  with or without the titles.  Those that NEED to use those words/titles with others outside their relationship may NEED to do so in order to feed that "identity" and "sense of themselves"; which I believe shows insecurity in said "identity" and "sense in themselves".


I disagree, it's not insecurity. Not too long ago our culture was such that gays who didn't want to make people uncomfortable had "roommates" and "friends" - I don't think it would be a sign of insecurity for a gay guy to want to say "hey, that roommate of mine? I fucking love him ok? I love him and he's my boyfriend and if we could get married he'd be my husband...



Interesting how many (when it comes to this debate) introduce either the (i) Gay, or (ii) Mixed-Race Couples parellel, where there is NONE.  It's a strawman argument because unlike with the power dynamic, neither gays or mixed-race couples could even acknowledge a relationship existed, and it's not like mixed-race couples could conceal it, as your skin tone ain't-a-changin' (unless you're Michael Jackson, that is ).  The power dynamic is simply a subset of any relationship (black, white, straight, gay, religious, non-religious, etc.), and NOBODY is preventing ANYONE in a power dynamic relationship from openly being a "couple", or openly stating they "love" each other. For some, this is not enough... they NEED to announce they are "Master" and "slave" to those OUTSIDE their relationship/dynamic.  Doing so serves no purpose... except maybe to mask some insecurity about needing others OUTSIDE your relationship/dynamic to view them in some preferred light.  And yes, this would apply to a straight, bi, gay, mixed-race, religious, non-religious, or whatever couple doing the same thing.

BTW... didn't we just have this debate?!!  Clearly neither of us is going to change the others' mind, so no point in re-opening THAT can of worms.    OOF... gettin' a headache already just thinkin' about it!!!  LOL


< Message edited by MasterSlaveLA -- 12/4/2009 5:57:38 PM >

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RE: Appearing in public as a slave for the first time - 12/4/2009 5:57:36 PM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella
I was saying it's messed up to say "it might make people look at you weird or make them uncomfortable so you shouldn't do it."


Elizabella-
Yes, I agree with you. We can't always let other people's narrowmindedness dictate our actions; on the other hand we do have a deep need to be accepted by the group.

To both you and MasterslaveLA, I am actually agnostic on this whole thing. I don't disparage those who use the titles in public.

Thats what I meant by my comments that we use the titles to create our power dynamic, that the words themselves have meaning. It isn't that this is a bunch of hokum or phoniness- the internal enslavement created by our titles is a very real thing.

Its just that we all need to decide for ourselves if using those terms in front of Uncle and Auntie Vanilla at Thanksgiving dinner is an absolute necessity, and if it is worth the price we pay.

That isn't a decision I can make for anyone but myself.

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RE: Appearing in public as a slave for the first time - 12/4/2009 6:57:07 PM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NymphetamineGirl

My master invited me to a party of some mutual friends (vanilla). Until now, the nature of our relationship has been kept private, at my request. I am new to this world yet, and still upset when people who will never understand judge me. At the same time, I am proud to be his, I want to run in the streets screaming it.

I know he can protect me and would never share me. He has left the decision in my hands.

Any subs/slaves care to share about their experience in this? What concerns did you have? What precautions did you take?


Well you've certainly gotten a "load" of opinions, haven't you? :/

I don't understand why people have to be so totally ugly and accusatory in response to such a nice message. Why are we defending vanilla people we've fucking NEVER MET and never will instead of helping out in a friendly manner someone who's asked for advice and opnions? Why have we made her into a scapegoat? Into this evil slattern out to shock the norms? WTF is up with that? She doesn't have control over what her master chooses to do, and it's worrying her and she's asked for advice. Even some of the people who complain about pitbulls and ugly hostility in other threads are doing the very same thing they complain so bitterly about. :( And why bandy about one silly limited fancy: that these poor vanilla innocents are going to be utterly shocked by all this? There are so many other possibiliies... Bottom line is none of you know his friends, and none of you know his relationship with his friends and how open he's been with them, so making up little fantasies about how horrified this poor girl i(who is clearly terrified herself) is going to make them was a pretty ugly and mean thing to do.

Anyway, Nymphphetamine, I asked you these questions at the start of the thread because I was wondering about the nature of how he was going to expose you, not to set the lynch mob on you. :( From the way you phrased things I assumed his vanilla friends already knew of his prolicivities and it would be no trouble for them, but possibly quite hard on you. I would be scared in your situation, scared of how these strange people might treat me, maybe ridicule me, but I'd also trust my master to make sure it was Ok, or to help me if anything got too horrible or ugly. I never took any precautions, I wasn't in that sort of relationship, but what I did do (and was allowed to do) was ask my master questions about the people I would be meeting, his friends, his family and about how they were likely to respond. His answers reassured me immensely. He was one of those people who did not live behind closed doors, he was out to everyone, pretty much, and I just had to get used to it. For the most part his friends were the types of people (intelligent, quite socially aware, or in some cases just relaxed) who didn't mind him being himself.

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RE: Appearing in public as a slave for the first time - 12/4/2009 7:17:18 PM   
Elisabella


Posts: 3939
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA


Interesting how many (when it comes to this debate) introduce either the (i) Gay, or (ii) Mixed-Race Couples parellel, where there is NONE.  It's a strawman argument because unlike with the power dynamic, neither gays or mixed-race couples could even acknowledge a relationship existed, and it's not like mixed-race couples could conceal it, as your skin tone ain't-a-changin' (unless you're Michael Jackson, that is ).  The power dynamic is simply a subset of any relationship (black, white, straight, gay, religious, non-religious, etc.), and NOBODY is preventing ANYONE in a power dynamic relationship from openly being a "couple", or openly stating they "love" each other. For some, this is not enough... they NEED to announce they are "Master" and "slave" to those OUTSIDE their relationship/dynamic.  Doing so serves no purpose... except maybe to mask some insecurity about needing others OUTSIDE your relationship/dynamic to view them in some preferred light.  And yes, this would apply to a straight, bi, gay, mixed-race, religious, non-religious, or whatever couple doing the same thing.

BTW... didn't we just have this debate?!!  Clearly neither of us is going to change the others' mind, so no point in re-opening THAT can of worms.    OOF... gettin' a headache already just thinkin' about it!!!  LOL



The reason I brought it up is because I don't think relationships fall into only two categories of "sexual" and "nonsexual" - I think that a friendship is as distinct from a gay relationship as a boyfriend/girlfriend vanilla relationship is from a M/s relationship. The dynamic is different. The people relate to each other differently. Each partner fulfills a different type of role.

You're right that we just debated this, so we can agree to disagree.

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RE: Appearing in public as a slave for the first time - 12/6/2009 11:15:16 AM   
DearJessicaD


Posts: 55
Joined: 10/26/2008
From: East Coast
Status: offline 		My friends are all very straight-laced and vanilla - you know, the types who only give their boyfriends blowjobs when it's his birthday.

It is clear to me they would not appreciate my acting slave-like towards my boyfriend in front of them. Since I love my friends I respect their comfort levels. Just like I wouldn't straddle a boyfriend and jam my tongue down his throat in front of others because excessive PDA makes people uncomfortable.

My boyfriend comes from a WASPy family and works in a very straight-laced industry. So this is not really a problem for us. Nobody blinks if I offer to get him a drink, but I don't wipe his mouth for him. I just come across as an attentive girlfriend.

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RE: Appearing in public as a slave for the first time - 12/6/2009 8:28:02 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DearJessicaD

My friends are all very straight-laced and vanilla - you know, the types who only give their boyfriends blowjobs when it's his birthday.



WTF???  There should be laws against this!!! 



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RE: Appearing in public as a slave for the first time - 12/7/2009 2:14:13 PM   
NymphetamineGirl


Posts: 55
Joined: 11/29/2009
Status: offline 		OP here :)

thank you so much to those who took time to respond thoughtfully to my questions. Here is an update.

I spoke to him of course, extensively about my fears. He had wonderful insight into where the fear came from and was most accepting. He created an opportunity for me... I met some of his friends this weekend, whom he correctly assured me were loving and accepting. He spent wonderful hours alone with me before and after, and in their presence I didn't use my title for him, nor he for me. We didn't need to, because we both are secure in this commitment, and our devotion happened without words most of the time.

He pulled out my chair for me, I handed him his menu. I walked behind him unless he gestured me through a door first,I doubt they even noticed. I brought his drink first, he thanked me sweetly. Most of my fear was never realized.

There were two notable moments though. I was falling asleep on the couch ( his friends had SUCH delicious whisky lol) but there were plans to go out to a local bar. His friends cajoled me to come along, I demurred. Then my master said "get up, we're going" and in seconds I had coat and shoes on. Hard to write that one off LOL. Also, I was invited to move from the seat next to my master, at first I made no response, then the pause became awkward. I looked at my master and asked if it was ok, he instructed me to move. Also kind of a giveaway lol, but the point is, it felt great and while our dynamic is unusual, it wasn't about kink and was full of mutual respect.

I should never have worried that he would put me in a situation that would hurt me. His friends are sweet, and they don't need anythng spelled out because they don't judge, they just hug :)

This same couple are the ones hosting the party at new years, I trust my master and his friends and I'm not worried anymore.

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RE: Appearing in public as a slave for the first time - 12/7/2009 2:30:36 PM   
liltala


Posts: 22
Joined: 7/25/2009
Status: offline 		I do not use the term Master in public settings or around vanilla people. Of course as a rule I don't use Master much it is one of those BIG words and its rare.

I am however very much still submitting to him in public, private or otherwise. I would relax and remember that it does not have to be a production to do this. I always ask permission even if it is just with my eyes. I always get his drink or food unless he indicates other. I don't drop to my knees serving his coffee but I still do a palm serve. We dial it down a notch in public because there is no need to make others uncomfortable. Just because I hate public displays of affection (to the sickening level) does not mean I am going to do my own pda to get back at them. Its not my way or his.

Here is what you need to do .. ask what is expected of you. If there is something you just cannot see yourself doing.. I don't sititng nadu at their house as an example ask if there is an adjustment to be made. Know precisely what he expects and decide what you can handle.


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RE: Appearing in public as a slave for the first time - 12/7/2009 2:37:22 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		 Nymphetamine, i'm so glad it went well for you. 

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RE: Appearing in public as a slave for the first time - 12/7/2009 3:29:32 PM   
Elisabella


Posts: 3939
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: DearJessicaD

My friends are all very straight-laced and vanilla - you know, the types who only give their boyfriends blowjobs when it's his birthday.



WTF???  There should be laws against this!!! 




LOL we really don't agree on anything - there should be a law *mandating* this.

I so don't get it. He won't do it to me, so I *know* he gets the whole "putting your mouth on someone else's genitals is totally disgusting especially if its after an hour since their last shower" thing, yet he still wants me to do it to him.

It's like, God or Evolution or whatever it was made us so that we each had a genital area and they fit like lock and key with each other. And unlike the mouth region, vagina dentata is a myth. I don't know what freaks me out more, the fact that guys want to put their cock in any hole large enough for it to fit, or the fact that other guys want to essentially make out with a vagina.

Obviously the answer is 'people enjoy it' and that's cool, but to have it as such a normal part of vanilla culture just squicks me...it would be like if Cosmo was telling you the best way to enjoy drinking your partner's pee. I see it as a total fetish thing and don't understand why culture says people should expect oral sex in a relationship.

It's putting your mouth on someone's genitals. WTF.

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RE: Appearing in public as a slave for the first time - 12/7/2009 7:11:03 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella


quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: DearJessicaD

My friends are all very straight-laced and vanilla - you know, the types who only give their boyfriends blowjobs when it's his birthday.



WTF???  There should be laws against this!!! 




LOL we really don't agree on anything - there should be a law *mandating* this.

I so don't get it. He won't do it to me, so I *know* he gets the whole "putting your mouth on someone else's genitals is totally disgusting especially if its after an hour since their last shower" thing, yet he still wants me to do it to him.

It's like, God or Evolution or whatever it was made us so that we each had a genital area and they fit like lock and key with each other. And unlike the mouth region, vagina dentata is a myth. I don't know what freaks me out more, the fact that guys want to put their cock in any hole large enough for it to fit, or the fact that other guys want to essentially make out with a vagina.

Obviously the answer is 'people enjoy it' and that's cool, but to have it as such a normal part of vanilla culture just squicks me...it would be like if Cosmo was telling you the best way to enjoy drinking your partner's pee. I see it as a total fetish thing and don't understand why culture says people should expect oral sex in a relationship.

It's putting your mouth on someone's genitals. WTF.


So I'm guessin' you're not into RIMMING either, huh? 



_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to Elisabella)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Appearing in public as a slave for the first time - 12/7/2009 7:36:06 PM   
Roselaure


Posts: 672
Joined: 4/12/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

LOL we really don't agree on anything - there should be a law *mandating* this.

I so don't get it. He won't do it to me, so I *know* he gets the whole "putting your mouth on someone else's genitals is totally disgusting especially if its after an hour since their last shower" thing, yet he still wants me to do it to him.

It's like, God or Evolution or whatever it was made us so that we each had a genital area and they fit like lock and key with each other. And unlike the mouth region, vagina dentata is a myth. I don't know what freaks me out more, the fact that guys want to put their cock in any hole large enough for it to fit, or the fact that other guys want to essentially make out with a vagina.

Obviously the answer is 'people enjoy it' and that's cool, but to have it as such a normal part of vanilla culture just squicks me...it would be like if Cosmo was telling you the best way to enjoy drinking your partner's pee. I see it as a total fetish thing and don't understand why culture says people should expect oral sex in a relationship.

It's putting your mouth on someone's genitals. WTF.


Goodness, you really don't like it do you?

I happen to be a big fan of oral sex.  For me it is earthy, powerful and feels really, really good.  I like receiving it and I like the knowledge of giving my partner such intense pleasure.  I love his cock and I especially love it in my mouth.  But that's just me, cock worship is a thing of mine. I just realized this is a major hijack.  Oops!  Back to your regularly scheduled programming.


_____________________________

Once conform, once do what other people do because they do it, and lethargy steals over all the finer nerves and faculties of the soul.
-Virginia Woolf

(in reply to Elisabella)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Appearing in public as a slave for the first time - 12/7/2009 8:07:49 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		If you both were fresh out of the shower (and had brushed, flossed, and gargled- just go with me here), how would putting your mouths on each other's genitals be any different than putting any of your other parts together?

Can you please elaborate a bit about why the idea repulses you? Were you brought up to think of genitals as dirty and disgusting?

I am very curious.

OP: I'm so glad things worked out well for you! Sounds like you've got a good thing going!

_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to Elisabella)
Profile   Post #: 40
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