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RE: politeness is it a sign of weakness? - 12/4/2009 6:03:48 PM   
wisdomtogive


Posts: 636
Joined: 11/13/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I demand politeness from myself and from kinksters, especially any sub I am with.  I expect it from vanillas as well.



Good Steve!!!

Op
Politeness is something that i find seperates people...i wouldn't be caught with an impolite Dom. I have no need for that kind of stuff. Plus if they cant be polite and control themselves, why do they want to control a submissive?

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RE: politeness is it a sign of weakness? - 12/4/2009 6:06:26 PM   
SL4V3M4YB3


Posts: 3506
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: S.E. London U.K.
Status: offline 		FR

Being rude isn't a strength.

e.g. I see some profiles and they can't go two words without insulting the reader because in their deluded view this is what being Dominant means to them that they have to be rude or abrupt. I've never written to a single person like that, although having said that some get off on that whole scene of being on the receiving end of rudeness.


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RE: politeness is it a sign of weakness? - 12/4/2009 6:10:03 PM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
However I wonder if you are being polite or being wishy washy. He's polite but he doesn't hem and haw. You want to subtly lead the way. You pick out the table in the coffee shop instead of waiting for her to choose. Things like that.


Well said. I was about to give a reflex answer that politeness is always a good thing, but often there is a confusion between politeness and uncertainty, just as there is a confusion between boorish certitude and confident assertiveness.

I like to think of myself as a CEO or manager; I listen to all points of view, consider differing ideas, then make a decision as thoughfully as possible, and hold to it. Picking out a coffee table may not be as profound as say, committing 30,000 troops to a war, but the principle is similar.

What one executive considers to be thoughtful analysis, others may see as dithering.
Names withheld to protect the innocent.


P.S. Ron, don't diss the man-tees until you have walked a mile in them.

< Message edited by AnimusRex -- 12/4/2009 6:12:47 PM >

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RE: politeness is it a sign of weakness? - 12/4/2009 6:21:54 PM   
DamagedPheonix


Posts: 14
Joined: 11/3/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: willboyd

I am new here and am single.  Since I am rather shy I tend to fall back on politeness and respect when responding to the subs/slaves.  I am honest and truthful in my approach, and yet, it seems as though I am considered too weak or not stern enough, or something like that.  Is it really seen as weakness to the majority of subs/slaves?


I think there is another issue here as well. Some subs/slaves really will blow you off (and not in a good way) if they see you as weak, and for some of them, politeness=weakness. Others will blow you off if you're not polite. So how do you know what to do to make everyone happy.

You can't. As the Dom, you have to decide who you really are (rude and blustering, or polite and in control) and be that way. Some won't even start to listen to what you have to say, but those are the ones you don't want anyway.

I am polite and I'm interested in those subs/slaves and friends who respond to that.

I've found that those who want the other have a much higher tolerance for drama than I do. 

< Message edited by DamagedPheonix -- 12/4/2009 6:25:17 PM >

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RE: politeness is it a sign of weakness? - 12/4/2009 6:39:03 PM   
winterlight


Posts: 1319
Joined: 2/18/2006
Status: offline 		I do NOT see politeness as a sign of weakness. I see it as a sign of good manners, civility and just plain fabulous.

We tend to be too caught up in this hurried world. We don't seek out people on a personal level. We spend time on computers not really getting to know somebody. Oh, we talk to people on here but for the most part we really cannot see what they really are.

It is sad to see basic humaness die by the wayside but i feel we have come to that. I would love to see things change. People used to care about people, their neighbors, their communities. I don't think they do not so much any more..

There are those that do of course but i think they are few and far between.

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RE: politeness is it a sign of weakness? - 12/4/2009 8:02:56 PM   
Valyraen


Posts: 746
Joined: 2/14/2007
Status: offline 		My feelings are with the consensus so far on the thread. Politeness isn't a sign of weakness, in my opinion - I tend to have far more respect for someone who's polite to me, regardless of whether they're kinky or not, than someone who behaves like an ass.

Granted, I'm on the other side of the whip from the target audience, but that's my .


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RE: politeness is it a sign of weakness? - 12/4/2009 8:50:23 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		There's a fine line between being polite and being a pushover.

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RE: politeness is it a sign of weakness? - 12/4/2009 10:37:37 PM   
ThatDamnedPanda


Posts: 6060
Joined: 1/26/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail


quote:

ORIGINAL: GYPSYMAMBO

up yours cocksucker!!
I am a strong womin ahahahhahahah

and I LOVE YOU
 
shit now you know



LOLOLOLOL!!!!!! you wear panties.



I hear she hits like a girl, too!


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RE: politeness is it a sign of weakness? - 12/5/2009 6:39:53 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		It all depends on context for me. There is a time and place for things. A certain behavior (which being polite is a behavior) can be weak in one instance, strong in another and neutral in other circumstances. There is no one size fits all circumstances.

Just because someone is polite doesn't necessarily mean they are a strong person or a weak person... There are just way too many variables to answer this question with any degree of integrity other than to say "It depends".

Knight's Kyra

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RE: politeness is it a sign of weakness? - 12/5/2009 7:42:45 AM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		Being polite and respectful is dead sexy in my opinion. To me it takes extra effort to be polite and use manners, it's not the fastest or easiest way to do things. I also find it an appealing atmosphere to be a part of and I would seek that over being with someone who is rude and boorish.

One should use the qualities of being polite and respectful in a confident way. As others have pointed out being polite can turn into being indecisive and other qualities that are less attractive.

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RE: politeness is it a sign of weakness? - 12/5/2009 9:59:07 AM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		Good point, i prefer polite over timid any day.

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RE: politeness is it a sign of weakness? - 12/6/2009 1:02:01 AM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: willboyd

I am new here and am single.  Since I am rather shy I tend to fall back on politeness and respect when responding to the subs/slaves.  I am honest and truthful in my approach, and yet, it seems as though I am considered too weak or not stern enough, or something like that.  Is it really seen as weakness to the majority of subs/slaves?


If I am not respectful to a sub/slave, what right do I have to expect it from them. Your shyness may be giving people the wrong idea, No need to be a bull in a china shop, subtle works just as well

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RE: politeness is it a sign of weakness? - 12/6/2009 11:06:22 AM   
DearJessicaD


Posts: 55
Joined: 10/26/2008
From: East Coast
Status: offline 		Maybe you're being too passive? I see passivity as a weakness. You can be polite while still being assertive, and I could be attracted to assertive.

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RE: politeness is it a sign of weakness? - 12/7/2009 3:49:53 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		If polite=weakness then i am a very weak preson. I was raised by my parents to be polite and so was Master. Today i did something for him and he said "Thank you sweetheart" he did not have to thank me it is my pleasure to do things for him, but it was a polite thing to do. It is not a weakness it is a strentth.

Matt's littleone

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RE: politeness is it a sign of weakness? - 12/7/2009 4:20:06 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Politeness is neither a sign of strength or of weakness, but i would say that, wouldnt I.

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RE: politeness is it a sign of weakness? - 12/8/2009 1:56:24 PM   
numuncular


Posts: 183
Joined: 2/14/2009
Status: offline 		I dont see why anyone would want to be anything other than polite, especially on here, especially when communicating with strangers. I sometimes get really impolite messages from men, (generally speaking over 50 and american but I'm not trying to single out any race, its probably cos theres more yanks on here than anywhere else) that verge on the bizarre. and theres really only one response to impoliteness from a stranger, whethere you find them exciting or not. and frankly its those that are so utterly insecure they have to be rude to strangers on the internet that appear weak, not people with proper decent manners.

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RE: politeness is it a sign of weakness? - 12/8/2009 4:08:33 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

Politeness is neither a sign of strength or of weakness, but i would say that, wouldnt I.


Politeness is a sign of hawtness.

*Rawr*

Another sign of it, is a green coffee cup that's like, millions of years old... 



OP: Politeness is NOT a sign of weakness. Seek submissives who understand this, instead of the ones who think you hafta be a jerk to be a dom. Politeness can be a sign of strength and self-assuredness. And a good upbringing. Its a very desireable quality in anyone, whether dom, sub, or vanilla IMHO.

Are you sure you are being seen as weak, as opposed to timid or lacking in self-confidence?

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RE: politeness is it a sign of weakness? - 12/8/2009 4:45:24 PM   
greeneyedreamer


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline 		I love polite. It's kind and sweet and never reminds me of weakness. It is strong because you are a strong enough man/woman enough to not be a BRUTE! There is a gentle strength that is just sexy and wonderful.

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RE: politeness is it a sign of weakness? - 12/8/2009 5:11:12 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Personally I view politeness and respect as a sign of an evolved intelligence. I would much rather have a sub/slave that displayed both rather than that of a dim witted brute who lacks both. I do not think it has anything to do with how "hard or "soft" a person maybe but rather that they can think beyond the usual rudeness that society seems to now accept as mainstream.

~Lashra

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RE: politeness is it a sign of weakness? - 12/9/2009 10:27:28 AM   
MercTech


Posts: 3706
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline 		Humph... being polite is about respect, respect for one's self.
I don't fathom why anyone would enjoy being a horse's ass.

Stefan

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