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RE: Keeping The Faith - 3/15/2006 9:15:51 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
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I meet for coffee, and I bring papers to grade. At the very least I'll get an hour of work done.

That being said, in the last year and a half or so, only two have bailed on me, but then a cup of coffee is not that much of a committment.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"


(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Keeping The Faith - 3/15/2006 9:31:14 PM   
TheTopHat


Posts: 39
Joined: 3/12/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress

Of course, there's always some freak thing that could happen, your cell phone battery is dead and you are stuck behind a load of chickens that overturned and you can't get around it because a plane crashed on that side of the highway just before the oilslick covered the other side of the highway and it's not windy enough to use your hang glider to get the rest of the way and no one else stuck in this mess has a cell phone with working batteries either.

But that can't happen more than once.



This adds absolutely nothing of value to the conversation but I think I should mention that this sort of thing happens to me quite frequently. To be fair however I have been told by numerous unbiased 3rd parties how much more absurdity my life has than most.

(in reply to yourMissTress)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Keeping The Faith - 3/15/2006 10:40:05 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheTopHat


quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress

Of course, there's always some freak thing that could happen, your cell phone battery is dead and you are stuck behind a load of chickens that overturned and you can't get around it because a plane crashed on that side of the highway just before the oilslick covered the other side of the highway and it's not windy enough to use your hang glider to get the rest of the way and no one else stuck in this mess has a cell phone with working batteries either.

But that can't happen more than once.



This adds absolutely nothing of value to the conversation but I think I should mention that this sort of thing happens to me quite frequently. To be fair however I have been told by numerous unbiased 3rd parties how much more absurdity my life has than most.



Actually it had more value till you cut the quote up to suit your non valued response.

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to TheTopHat)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Keeping The Faith - 3/15/2006 11:19:10 PM   
CERCKL


Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
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quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheTopHat


quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress

Of course, there's always some freak thing that could happen, your cell phone battery is dead and you are stuck behind a load of chickens that overturned and you can't get around it because a plane crashed on that side of the highway just before the oilslick covered the other side of the highway and it's not windy enough to use your hang glider to get the rest of the way and no one else stuck in this mess has a cell phone with working batteries either.

But that can't happen more than once.


This adds absolutely nothing of value to the conversation but I think I should mention that this sort of thing happens to me quite frequently. To be fair however I have been told by numerous unbiased 3rd parties how much more absurdity my life has than most.



Actually it had more value till you cut the quote up to suit your non valued response.



truesub...I have enjoyed your sense of humor, honesty and insight since starting to read the boards and My only regret is that I'm always too late for coffee but THAT one made Me startle the dogs with my laughter.
I respect your strength in sharing your recent experience and I'm sorry to say that I haven't known people who fix those type of issues since my mid-twenties...
C

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Keeping The Faith - 3/16/2006 5:33:50 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheTopHat


quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress

Of course, there's always some freak thing that could happen, your cell phone battery is dead and you are stuck behind a load of chickens that overturned and you can't get around it because a plane crashed on that side of the highway just before the oilslick covered the other side of the highway and it's not windy enough to use your hang glider to get the rest of the way and no one else stuck in this mess has a cell phone with working batteries either.

But that can't happen more than once.



This adds absolutely nothing of value to the conversation but I think I should mention that this sort of thing happens to me quite frequently. To be fair however I have been told by numerous unbiased 3rd parties how much more absurdity my life has than most.



Actually it had more value till you cut the quote up to suit your non valued response.

Jessica,
The way I read his comments is that Top Hat wasnt slamming Tress's post, he was saying that although his own comments add nothing of value to the conversation, the things mentioned in her post are things that happen to him quite often. I have the same problem. It seems that the powers that be conspire against me lol I will start a new job, and on the day that I am supposed to report, I will have all kinds of things go wrong. Through no fault of my own, I will end up late or have to call in on the first day. Friends and family are amazed by the shit that pops up whenever I have something important to attend to. It just happens. My first week of doing something new ends up being "Hell" week for me. Strange but true.


< Message edited by MistressOfGa -- 3/16/2006 5:35:39 AM >


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(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Keeping The Faith - 3/16/2006 7:00:05 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline
This reminds me of attempting to have dinner with someone several years ago.

He contacted me via another BDSM personals site, and after a few emails, we realized we had met some time prior at a munch.

We decided to have dinner. I was willing to meet a little over halfway to him (we lived about 40 miles or so apart). Made arrangements to have an early dinner on Sunday. I gave him instructions to call me by noon to make final plans to meet about 4 for dinner. No call; I made other plans. Sometime after 4, he left a message saying he'd overslept the deadline to make final plans I had given him.

For whatever reason I can not remember right now, I decided to give him another chance.

This time - dinner after work on a weeknight; he was going to have to drive to somewhere more convenient to me. I was there a few minutes early. Left half an hour later as he hadn't shown up. I only waited that long because I know I-95 through Philly is hell at that hour.

I got an email later in that evening saying he had shown up but 45 minutes late because he had forgotten the directions to the restaurant and just winged it, and not surprisingly, got lost. He claims to have waited in the lobby for some period of time in case I came back, then had dinner by himself. No where in the long winded email was there even an apology for essentially standing me up. He wasn't surprised that I declined to try to meet him again, although he did ask to do so.

It just amazes me how certain people are so disorganized in their lives that they cannot even get it together to meet. He wasn't a novice; he'd probably been going to munches and such as long as I have.

This is actually why I prefer to do the book-store-coffee-meet, or a local munch, these days. While it's certainly a little cliche, it is somewhere that I'm more than happy to spend an hour regardless, whether the person shows up to have coffee or not.

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Keeping The Faith - 3/16/2006 7:06:29 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
That's pretty much completely what I do these days as well. If someone wants to meet, I give them a brief rundown of "Here are the events/times I'll be hanging out, feel free to come over and say hi." I don't have to put forth any extra effort or planning since I'm already going to be there and it lets me know whether the person actually has the time and chutzpah to do it. This is a nice option to have in a place that has lots of events going on all the time.

I really don't spend hardly any time these days nurturing online based relationships. This means I don't often form attachments with people a long distance anymore, and that I don't spend a lot of time or energy concerned with the "first meet."



_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Keeping The Faith - 3/16/2006 7:17:52 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

I really don't spend hardly any time these days nurturing online based relationships. This means I don't often form attachments with people a long distance anymore, and that I don't spend a lot of time or energy concerned with the "first meet



That's quite possibly why I don't get the nervousness that people go through on first meets. To me, it's nothing more than coffee and a little conversation. No more, no less. I'm not going to spend a huge amount of time talking to the person online first, and while I do talk to them on the phone first, it's not a long conversation.

I just don't see the point in getting all worked up. I don't get attached to people I only know online. They may or may not be someone I want to spend time with, but that's honestly not something I can say unless I've spent a little time talking to them face to face.

Reminds me of a sub who wrote me long, detailed emails to let me get to know him better, however, when we met at a munch (twice), he wouldn't say more than a few words to me. I hope he doesn't wonder why I lost interest. I'm just not interested in an online relationship.


_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Keeping The Faith - 3/16/2006 7:57:52 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
TheTopHat.....

Excuse my misreading your post. I really had no business evening posting yesterday. I'm sorry for my rudeness. In the future, i'll be sure to read more carefully and not understand, keep my mouse off the reply button.

Again, sorry for my screw up.

Jessica



MoGa... thank you for pointing out my screw up as well...

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Keeping The Faith - 3/16/2006 8:38:59 AM   
TheTopHat


Posts: 39
Joined: 3/12/2006
Status: offline
Thankyou, Mistress of Ga for interpreting for me. And thankyou truesub4u for the apology - it is most graciously accepted. In the future I shall be more liberal with my commas.

On a serious note as far as being stood up I spent years in sales and I developed a simple rule (adjust for distance as needed) -

1st time give them 15 to 30 minutes.
2nd time the same.
3rd time If you still think it is worth trying they come right to you (house, office, coffee shop you regularly sit at, whatever) so you aren't subject to any inconvenience.

_____________________________

TheTopHat (and Cane)

Just my 2.31 cents (In Canada you see)

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Keeping The Faith - 3/16/2006 12:06:28 PM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

MoGa... thank you for pointing out my screw up as well...


No problem Jessica <s>

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(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Keeping The Faith - 3/16/2006 12:23:25 PM   
TheTopHat


Posts: 39
Joined: 3/12/2006
Status: offline
Just to be petty --

Slaves are subordinate not inferior, and in relation to these meetings there is no role of slave / master, it is a first date at best. I maintain common courtesy is the rule for all parties here, and any expectations be it of latitude in time of arrival or anything else should be equal.

BTW I presume you are suggesting that if 2 parties are equal the "correct" wait time would be 15 minutes? ;)
quote:

ORIGINAL: jamesthehumanrug

greetings,mistress of ga

permission ,to-reply to your post....
in reguards,to most formal and informal rules,of thumb....
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

Recent posts have me wondering about this. If a Dom/sub is meeting someone in real life from online, and they are late, without a phone call or any contact (The one waiting may not have a cell) how much time do you feel the one waiting should wait before questioning the integrity and honesty of the one who is late? An hour? Two hours? 9 hours? If the person is late by 4 hours, should the one waiting automatically assume that they have been "played"? I am not just talking about truesub4u, (she has a phone, I can't imagine why he hasnt called her) but there have been countless posts on this forum from people who were just crushed and thought that they had been played, only for it to turn out good in the long run. Then again, there have been the optimistic ones who felt that it would work out, only to find out that they had been played.

Thoughts? Opinions?


usually the unspoken residual rule is
20 minutes if waitng for a superior, or teacher ;professeur;at a designated time; place; etc ;and ,
only ten minutes waiting time for a late student, or sub, or slave, by the top waiting for a bottom,
that's considered:normal; expected,or fair ;considerate;and, legal;
cause life's too short to be abnormal ,and, annoying ,
about anything;
then you can get on and, proceed;take the next step ,from there....
in an executive position ;one has to be able to make every executive decision,not be left with a position ,of indecison.
"he who hesitates is lost"(some vip said that....).

in college
; 10 minutes wait for students ,if your gonna' teach something....and
,20 minutes wait, if your gonna' learn something....

....,that's considered RESPECT.
in sum=
10 minute wait, for a inferior
and 20 minutes waiting time ,for a superior.
its:simple rule, that if broken says :somethings quite not rite...or interesting?????
thankyou goddess; misstress;( top), for your time and considerations, for my information ,at your service,to serve
one,of THE-most revered online goddesses.....
however:an expected informal rule of service is ,that,
AS A DRIVER;
24/7 LIFETIME (slave),in-SERVICE FOR MY MISTRESS ;
I WAIT,
FOREVER!(no-time-clocks),
UNLESS SIGNALED TO DO ,OTHERWISE
;MY TIME MEANS, NOTHING ;there is no time,
that doesnt evolve around her alone....
I WILL,ALWAYS BE THERE ;
WHERE EVER SHE WANTS;AS
HER 'TIN-SOLDIER,'
TO WAIT,IN A displayed,and,DICIPLINED MANNOR,
in other words:
she can ignore me;
i am ,at attention.....


_____________________________

TheTopHat (and Cane)

Just my 2.31 cents (In Canada you see)

(in reply to jamesthehumanrug)
Profile   Post #: 52
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