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RE: What are you eating? - 12/8/2009 11:46:02 AM   
barelynangel


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quote:

he was not given the option of saying he didn't want them or not eating them


Hi Holly,   I have a hard time with this as lying is worse than anything to me.  

I don't see nor did i see where did she said what i have quoted them because i missed it. All i saw was he hid the potatoes and lied when asked about them.    But even so - even if she didn't give him the option, it doesn't mean HE SHOULD LIE or a parent advocating same.

You say you owe him an apology but that doesn't mean his lying because of your actions was correct.  Two wrongs DON'T make a right.  What you are teaching him is that he can lower or lose altogether his integrity because he FEELS someone has ignored or disrespected him and/or his opinions.  However, that's teaching him to lower his standards and himself to that of the other person, in my opinion, because he is choosing the other persons standards instead of his own.   

Teaching him other ways of handling the situation would to me go a heck of a lot farther in teaching honor and integrity than making excuses that you did something wrong so it was okay for him to lie.

You can hold him responsible for HIS LYING to you, and also explain maybe you could handle the situation differently or if you feel necessary apologize.  But guilt over your decision as mom, meaning you allow his lying and make excuses for it, doesn't correct the situation at all.

angel

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 12/8/2009 11:48:56 AM >

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RE: What are you eating? - 12/8/2009 11:51:18 AM   
dreamerdreaming


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quote:

ORIGINAL: nubianmuscle

The souls of the weak... 

And a garden salad made with romaine lettuce and chicken salad.




LOL! Now I know what to serve as a side dish, on "souls of the weak" night.


Right now I'm eating string cheese. And a banana. YUM.

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RE: What are you eating? - 12/8/2009 12:37:47 PM   
VirginPotty


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quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

quote:

he was not given the option of saying he didn't want them or not eating them


Hi Holly,   I have a hard time with this as lying is worse than anything to me.  

I don't see nor did i see where did she said what i have quoted them because i missed it. All i saw was he hid the potatoes and lied when asked about them.    But even so - even if she didn't give him the option, it doesn't mean HE SHOULD LIE or a parent advocating same.

You say you owe him an apology but that doesn't mean his lying because of your actions was correct.  Two wrongs DON'T make a right.  What you are teaching him is that he can lower or lose altogether his integrity because he FEELS someone has ignored or disrespected him and/or his opinions.  However, that's teaching him to lower his standards and himself to that of the other person, in my opinion, because he is choosing the other persons standards instead of his own.   

Teaching him other ways of handling the situation would to me go a heck of a lot farther in teaching honor and integrity than making excuses that you did something wrong so it was okay for him to lie.

You can hold him responsible for HIS LYING to you, and also explain maybe you could handle the situation differently or if you feel necessary apologize.  But guilt over your decision as mom, meaning you allow his lying and make excuses for it, doesn't correct the situation at all.

angel


Holly is one of the most genuine Mom's on this site & her parenting skills are the best I've seen. I know that she's aware of the right & wrong way's to raise a child and while I know she's not perfect, she's as close as they come. You mention "honor & integrity".........that's just laughable. Holly teaches him nothing but "honor & integrity".
Don't presume to know her method of parenting by a few choice phrases you've decided to focus on w/o knowing her as a person.
How many children have you raised that you can say that never fibbed about anything?



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RE: What are you eating? - 12/8/2009 12:55:03 PM   
calamitysandra


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

... if i ever found my child lying to me because i ignored or disrespected him and his opinions, i would owe him a sincere apology.




Absolutely.

But many are horrified by the thought of apologising to a mere child. You know that will have them belief that they too a are entitled to respect, and where would that lead to?

And to keep with the thread topic:

The pizza was delish. Mine had asparagus, mushrooms, ham, garlic, onions, parmesan, and mozzarella.

< Message edited by calamitysandra -- 12/8/2009 1:07:50 PM >

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RE: What are you eating? - 12/8/2009 1:23:27 PM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		I was having a discussion with Holly based upon HER comments, if she wishes to take them as judgments instead of part of the discussion fine - she made comments and comments i disagree with her ideas.  So back off the omg someone is attacking holly concept people its silly.   And if she doesn't want to be part of the discussion she could have opted to remain out of it, however, her agreement with DesFIP brought her into the discussion AND her statement of what she personally does gives me free reign to comment which i have and last i checked, Holly was a big girl and doesn't need others running in to take something personal for her.  What you know of Holly is what you know, what i know of Holly is what her responses were in this thread and in this discussion.   I feel if she advocates her child lying because he feels she is doin' him wrong, then that is wrong and is NOT teaching him integrity or honor but instead teaching him to lower himself to standards others set for him by doing wrong themselves.  You may feel differently. 

She agreed with DesFIP somehow indicating persephonee was parenting her kid wrong, i disagree with what Holly has indicated as in parenting a child in this situation.   Imagine that people disagreeing on how to raise kids.  Who'd have thought it.   However, i doubt Holly will let me disagreeing with her here, send her into some omg i am being judged.  Holly tends to give as good as she gets and doesn't need the bandwagon of friends coming to her rescue because THEY don't like what someone says regarding her statements in a discussion.

And for the record, Holly is one of the more vocal moms in speaking about her child, most people do not offer as much information about their children so to determine she is one of the most genuine on this site is reaching - i am sure she is very good, however, even she wouldn't be brash enough to believe she is more genuine than another from an online website where most people deal from anonymous nicknames.   Not to be technical or anything but i doubt you know most of the mom's on this site to judge her genuiness versus others.

angel

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 12/8/2009 1:35:23 PM >

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RE: What are you eating? - 12/8/2009 1:33:42 PM   
Lockit


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Status: offline 		Someone who didn't know my child... children, or my household... who did or did not have experience raising adults... telling me what to do... would be considered for the middle finger award. Hell... I might even flash it for ya.



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RE: What are you eating? - 12/8/2009 1:33:59 PM   
barelynangel


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Status: offline 		I am eating some godiva chocolate a client sent us ---  sex in the office lol.

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RE: What are you eating? - 12/8/2009 2:14:09 PM   
favesclava


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Status: offline 		wonderful baked chicken and stuffing Master cooked today.

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RE: What are you eating? - 12/9/2009 6:01:49 AM   
VirginPotty


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In keeping w/the thread....sorry for the hijack OP.............today I had Special K w/red berries this AM. Was going to eat fruit cocktail at work but had to stop at the courthouse beforehand & they confiscated my snack 'cuz it was in a can..........

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RE: What are you eating? - 12/9/2009 6:04:29 AM   
sophiesback


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quote:

ORIGINAL: VirginPotty



In keeping w/the thread....sorry for the hijack OP.............today I had Special K w/red berries this AM. Was going to eat fruit cocktail at work but had to stop at the courthouse beforehand & they confiscated my snack 'cuz it was in a can..........


*shakes head*

That's just not right!

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RE: What are you eating? - 12/9/2009 7:08:03 AM   
HotFaerieMama


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Status: offline 		half a two liter of mello yello..... three slim jims an apple and .. some animal crackers 

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RE: What are you eating? - 12/9/2009 7:40:46 AM   
sirsholly


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quote:

Holly is one of the most genuine Mom's on this site & her parenting skills are the best I've seen. I know that she's aware of the right & wrong way's to raise a child and while I know she's not perfect, she's as close as they come. You mention "honor & integrity".........that's just laughable. Holly teaches him nothing but "honor & integrity".


<---speechless. Wow...thank you Pots.



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RE: What are you eating? - 12/9/2009 7:40:50 AM   
CallaFirestormBW


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Status: offline 		Two poached eggs, medium. Two slices of nitrate/nitrite free, naturally raised bacon. 10 oz coffee w/ 2 tablespoons hazelnut flavored coconut coffee creamer, 16 oz energized water. 

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RE: What are you eating? - 12/9/2009 7:58:27 AM   
sirsholly


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quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

I feel if she advocates her child lying because he feels she is doin' him wrong, then that is wrong and is NOT teaching him integrity or honor but instead teaching him to lower himself to standards others set for him by doing wrong themselves.


then you "feel" wrong. You speak of teaching honor and integrity? It is something i strive to do, but how hypocritical of me to teach it, and expect it, if i myself do not practice it. Should you ever have children of your own i honestly hope you recognize that the true lessons they learn are set by the example of the parents.

quote:


Holly tends to give as good as she gets and doesn't need the bandwagon of friends coming to her rescue because THEY don't like what someone says regarding her statements in a discussion.


Need to be rescued? No. Need to know others think enough of me to realize your statement that i advocate dishonesty was ridiculous? Yep...pretty awesome, actually.

End of and apologies for the hijack. Barelyanangel, my inbox is open if you want to continue this...


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RE: What are you eating? - 12/9/2009 7:59:59 AM   
VirginPotty


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Status: offline 		<<<Eating popcorn w/o butter..............well since it's cyber popcorn I'll add the butter!

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RE: What are you eating? - 12/9/2009 8:00:53 AM   
sirsholly


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Status: offline 		so far...black coffee and a glass of pineapple juice (for a sore throat).

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RE: What are you eating? - 12/9/2009 8:01:15 AM   
VirginPotty


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

Holly is one of the most genuine Mom's on this site & her parenting skills are the best I've seen. I know that she's aware of the right & wrong way's to raise a child and while I know she's not perfect, she's as close as they come. You mention "honor & integrity".........that's just laughable. Holly teaches him nothing but "honor & integrity".


<---speechless. Wow...thank you Pots.






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RE: What are you eating? - 12/9/2009 8:02:18 AM   
VirginPotty


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

so far...black coffee and a glass of pineapple juice (for a sore throat).


Thought you said in the H&P thread Jim's the one who needs to be drinking the pineapple juice.

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RE: What are you eating? - 12/9/2009 8:16:07 AM   
devilishpixie


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RE: What are you eating? - 12/9/2009 8:17:41 AM   
sirsholly


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quote:

ORIGINAL: VirginPotty

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

so far...black coffee and a glass of pineapple juice (for a sore throat).


Thought you said in the H&P thread Jim's the one who needs to be drinking the pineapple juice.
for...uh....taste. *I* am drinking it cause i woke up with a sore throat and was losing my voice (oh just shut the hell up)


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