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book recommendations - 12/7/2009 9:25:48 AM

lucylucy

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I’ve noticed lots of references to The Loving Dominant and Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns on the message boards. What are some other books you’ve read that have helped you become a better Dominant or submissive? What are some of the insights the books you’ve read have given you?

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“There are those who give with joy, & that joy is their reward.” Gibran / "Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among mysteries." Roethke / "Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel & kiss the ground." Rumi

Post #: 1

RE: book recommendations - 12/7/2009 9:29:15 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
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SM101 by Jay Wiseman

Different LOving by Gloria Brame

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to lucylucy)

Post #: 2

RE: book recommendations - 12/7/2009 9:29:54 AM

breatheasone

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SM 101, by Jay Wiseman. Amazon has them for about 16 bucks. Its a very good read imho.

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Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
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Post #: 3

RE: book recommendations - 12/7/2009 9:31:04 AM

breatheasone

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

SM101 by Jay Wiseman

Different LOving by Gloria Brame

Jinx!

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 4

RE: book recommendations - 12/7/2009 9:33:32 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
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LOL

I've heard the Topping and Bottoming books (forget the authors names) are good too...

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to breatheasone)

Post #: 5

RE: book recommendations - 12/7/2009 9:50:01 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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It was easiest for Me just to use some of the entries that can be found on ResidentSadist's book list found on one of the other boards. It's saving Me the key strokes. These are some of the titles that are currently on My shelf.

Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns : The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism
by Philip Miller, Molly Devon, William A. Granzig
Screw the Roses enthusiastically covers all the basics and even some of the not-so-basics--bondage, negotiation, sex, endorphins, dominance and submission, toys, safety, S/M community, and beyond. It's written primarily from the point of view of male dominant/female submissive interactions, but it's easily translatable into valuable advice for any relationship configuration.

SM 101 : A Realistic Introduction
by Jay Wiseman
SM 101 surveys the entire spectrum of consensual sadomasochistic practices from from bondage, to spanking, to erotic role-playing, and more. Now in an expanded second edition, SM 101 includes a new chapter on starting and running sadomasochistic organizations and events for consenting adults.

The Loving Dominant
by John Warren
The Loving Dominant is one of the basics. It should be--and often is--required reading before a new partner is willing to consider playing. It covers not only the how-to's, the who's, the what's and the when's, but the why's, as well as providing some great inspirational examples of scenes.

The Topping Book : Or, Getting Good at Being Bad
by Dossie Easton, Catherine A. Liszt
This is book was a very fun and informative read. It talks about the rights and responsibilities of the Top and what it is like to be a top. It tells you that Tops and bottoms are equals. Dossie and Catherine are always very good about including all genders, preferences, and relationships. (My copy on this one is the updated one, so the title is actually "The New Topping Book".)

Different Loving : The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission
by Gloria G. Brame, Jon Jacobs, Will Brame
They begin by asking "What is normal ?" and note that if "normal" means reproductive relevance as in the Victorian standard, then few are normal. What is clear is that what is painful for some is pleasurable for others, what is unacceptable for some is delightful for others, what is frightening for some is a natural high for others.

The Leatherman's Handbook: Silver Jubilee Edition
by Larry Townsend, Jack Fritscher
A good introduction to the gay male SM world of the early 1970s revised briefly for the 2000 edition. It gives a good basic overview of the history of "Old Guard" as well as insights into how different from and similar to gay SM s from het SM.

(I couldn't find these on the list with links, so bear with Me.)

I also have copies of

"Play Piercing" by Deborah Addington.

"Venus On Top" by Barbara Wright Abernathy

"Erotic Bondage Handbook" by Jay Wiseman

"Female Dominance Rituals and Practices" and "The Art of Sensual Female Dominance" both by Claudia Varrin.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to lucylucy)

Post #: 6

RE: book recommendations - 12/7/2009 9:50:12 AM

RCdc

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Personally, I would not recommend reading a book to become a better submissive type. There are some fantastic books out there to read, but the way to grow is to live your life the way your Master desires.
If you want some self improvement, I would be more inclined to recommend books that improve your skills - like cooking, sewing, massage, cleaning or eco management. Even things like book keeping skills can assist ones Master. Read those kind of books or take courses relevant to what he will enjoy.

the.dark.

< Message edited by Darcyandthedark -- 12/7/2009 9:51:06 AM >

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RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: book recommendations - 12/7/2009 9:54:26 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

what .the dark. said

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 8

RE: book recommendations - 12/7/2009 10:02:50 AM

Wolf2Bear

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Joined: 9/6/2009
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There hasn't been any kink based books which I read that made me a better submissive. Yes there have been several which helped me understand and fed that need to want to learn more. The first book that was suggested I read was "On The Safe Edge" by Trevor Jacques.

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~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to lucylucy)

Post #: 9

RE: book recommendations - 12/7/2009 10:20:03 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

What are some other books you’ve read that have helped you become a better Dominant or submissive?

this slave hasn't read any of the ones typically recommended, including the ones you listed, but "The Four Agreements" and other works by Don Miguel Ruiz were especially insightful, for this slave.

quote:

What are some of the insights the books you’ve read have given you?

quote:

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don't Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don't Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
Miguel Ruiz

(in reply to lucylucy)

Post #: 10

RE: book recommendations - 12/7/2009 10:23:26 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
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From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

*smooches Beth*

Dec 27th, yes?

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 11

RE: book recommendations - 12/7/2009 1:45:55 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Jay Wiseman's Erotic Bondage wasn't mentioned. It and his s & m 101 are both safety bibles for newbies. I see no reason a sub shouldn't read up on safety precautions and make sure that the top knows what he/she is doing.

Beyond that, for bondage - Midori for shibari. Two Knotty Boys for general interesting ties. They have several youtube videos up and I've sent him links asking if we could do that.
Addington's Hand in the Bush for fisting.

A sub should know what the right way to do something is, to ensure their top is capable of what he/she is attempting. And if she knows about the safety part, he could then expand his repertoire. She could share the books with him, read them together etc.

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Post #: 12

RE: book recommendations - 12/7/2009 1:50:57 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Jay Wiseman's Erotic Bondage wasn't mentioned. It and his s & m 101 are both safety bibles for newbies. I see no reason a sub shouldn't read up on safety precautions and make sure that the top knows what he/she is doing.

Beyond that, for bondage - Midori for shibari. Two Knotty Boys for general interesting ties. They have several youtube videos up and I've sent him links asking if we could do that.
Addington's Hand in the Bush for fisting.

A sub should know what the right way to do something is, to ensure their top is capable of what he/she is attempting. And if she knows about the safety part, he could then expand his repertoire. She could share the books with him, read them together etc.

Actually, I think you'll find that I did.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 13

RE: book recommendations - 12/7/2009 2:23:08 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop
*smooches Beth*
Dec 27th, yes?

*returns smooches*

absolutely can't wait!!!

(Merc) PS - Greedy: Don't forget to contact your friend WyldHrt; she's my somewhat local 'tribute' sub who I let stay at 'Casa Merc & beth'. She'll go over the 'house rules' with you for your visit.

One thing for sure - no need to pack a bathing suit!

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 12/7/2009 2:36:48 PM >

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 14

RE: book recommendations - 12/7/2009 4:04:16 PM

wisdomtogive

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Joined: 11/13/2009
Status: offline

Hi beth
The Four Agreements is one of my bibles. It has so much in it that is useful on a daily bases, and one i try to live by.
Good choice, at least imo:)

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Happily owned by MstrDark1

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 15

RE: book recommendations - 12/7/2009 4:10:15 PM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
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Training With Miss Abernathy: A Workbook for Erotic Slaves and Their Owners ~ Christina Abernathy

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Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl

"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

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Post #: 16

RE: book recommendations - 12/7/2009 4:33:36 PM

Moonhead

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Joined: 9/21/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

LOL

I've heard the Topping and Bottoming books (forget the authors names) are good too...

Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy.
Free Wealin' by Ishmael Skyes is pretty good on the basics, and very funny, which is always a plus. His warning about harmful relationships is beautifully judged in this context.

_____________________________

I like to think he was eaten by rats, in the dark, during a fog. It's what he would have wanted...
(Simon R Green on the late James Herbert)

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 17

RE: book recommendations - 12/7/2009 6:31:15 PM

lucylucy

Posts: 612
Joined: 3/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

If you want some self improvement, I would be more inclined to recommend books that improve your skills - like cooking, sewing, massage, cleaning or eco management. Even things like book keeping skills can assist ones Master. Read those kind of books or take courses relevant to what he will enjoy.

the.dark.

I'm actually already doing this (so naturally, I think it's a brilliant idea

).

I'm asking for book recommendations because I want to better understand some of the philosophical/psychological aspects of D/s.

_____________________________

“There are those who give with joy, & that joy is their reward.” Gibran / "Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among mysteries." Roethke / "Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel & kiss the ground." Rumi

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 18

RE: book recommendations - 12/7/2009 7:17:34 PM

Chrisincuffs

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Joined: 12/7/2009
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My all time favorite is the Story of O. I love the way her lover gives her to a stronger Master and how she gives all of herself to him. I've read it many times

(in reply to lucylucy)

Post #: 19

RE: book recommendations - 12/7/2009 8:54:13 PM

lucylucy

Posts: 612
Joined: 3/1/2009
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Someone recommended The Four Agreements to me in a completely different context a week or so ago . . . looks like all signs are pointing toward me reading that, at the very least, over the holidays.

_____________________________

“There are those who give with joy, & that joy is their reward.” Gibran / "Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among mysteries." Roethke / "Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel & kiss the ground." Rumi

(in reply to Chrisincuffs)

Post #: 20

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