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RE: Punishment - 3/16/2006 9:05:54 AM

truesub4u

Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

IMO you should not NEED to ask. You do something that bad you'd get told in no uncertain terms what you'd done or failed to do

Different Doms.. doing things Differently than others. There's always one out there, that will show displeasure.. to see if sub/slave takes notice to displeasure..... and make them think of what it was.... make them come to him... looking for answers... so he then can state his displeasure... <smiles>

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 21

RE: Punishment - 3/16/2006 9:15:40 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u

quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

IMO you should not NEED to ask. You do something that bad you'd get told in no uncertain terms what you'd done or failed to do

Different Doms.. doing things Differently than others. There's always one out there, that will show displeasure.. to see if sub/slave takes notice to displeasure..... and make them think of what it was.... make them come to him... looking for answers... so he then can state his displeasure... <smiles>

yep I agree completely.. The odds are 10 to 1 that she would feel a whip as well as my comments if it were serious enough though but then again you need to remember that I would exclusively be dealing with a kajira and such punishment is something she should expect.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to truesub4u)

Post #: 22

RE: Punishment - 3/16/2006 9:19:45 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u
Different Doms.. doing things Differently than others. There's always one out there, that will show displeasure.. to see if sub/slave takes notice to displeasure..... and make them think of what it was.... make them come to him... looking for answers... so he then can state his displeasure... <smiles>

Yep, thats why I said IMO, to me not making it absolutely clear can lead to a rather nervious and uncertain girl. Never quite being sure of if she is doing things right. What happens if the Dom is in a bit of a bad mood at something else, is the girl left worrying if it was something SHE has done?

My girl doesn't have that problem because she KNOWS if she displeases me then she will be TOLD so, no uncertainty, no un-necessary worrying, nothing unavoidable to undermine her confidence. Just the way *I* approach it.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to truesub4u)

Post #: 23

RE: Punishment - 3/16/2006 9:27:12 AM

truesub4u

Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

Yep, thats why I said IMO, to me not making it absolutely clear can lead to a rather nervious and uncertain girl. Never quite being sure of if she is doing things right. What happens if the Dom is in a bit of a bad mood at something else, is the girl left worrying if it was something SHE has done?

My girl doesn't have that problem because she KNOWS if she displeases me then she will be TOLD so, no uncertainty, no un-necessary worrying, nothing unavoidable to undermine her confidence. Just the way *I* approach it.

I see what you're saying. And respect it as well. As to your comment over ... what happens if Dom is in a bit of a bad mood at something. With proper communication... there's no nervous girl wondering IF she did something. She can simply ask... Sir, you look pist about something, do you wish to talk?,,,,,,, that simple. '

But let's face it Raven... LOL.... my ideas... and thoughts..about submission and slavery... run differently as most on here do. <smiles>

< Message edited by truesub4u -- 3/16/2006 9:28:03 AM >

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 24

RE: Punishment - 3/16/2006 10:16:24 AM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
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Fear of my corrective designs often works best when training a girl, though it is important to note that fear and punishment stand with other persuasions in training; one being positive reinforcement, which works wonderfully in tandem with others.

(in reply to Level)

Post #: 25

RE: Punishment - 3/16/2006 10:31:53 AM

RavenMuse

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Joined: 1/23/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u
But let's face it Raven... LOL.... my ideas... and thoughts..about submission and slavery... run differently as most on here do. <smiles>

Petal, I very much doubt there are any two folks on here (Apart from maybe those in a relationship with each other) that have the same viewpoint about the whole subject in all respects. That is no bad thing.

I've had experience with more than maybe my share of nervious girls who needed their confidence building up, which no doubt shapes the way I tend to aproach things. Some of the girls I've been involved with, at the start of the relationship would almost certainly not have the confidence to ask if they thought there was something THEY might have done. Seeing a girl blossom as her confidence increases is something I DO enjoy

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to truesub4u)

Post #: 26

RE: Punishment - 3/16/2006 10:41:22 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Sweetheart, I rather a girl come to me and either tell me what she believes she has done wrong or ask me if I'm annoyed with her and if so why.

Firstly, if you belonged to me and screwed up, the first question I need to ask is why? Was it due to insufficient training on my part? Was it due to not giving you sufficient information or instructions? If I am at all at fault then I need to address this with corrective traiing and thus I will not take disclipinary action except in the more obligatory way like a swipe at the bare botty, or commanding you to give me three additional head jobs before kenneling.

Secondly In matters of daily handling of slaves I do not and will not use mind fucks outside playing or as part of training in specific areas.....(perhaps).. Mind fucks can do far more dammage than good generally. (from a psych's view anyway). In other words you will always know where you stand with me.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to truesub4u)

Post #: 27

RE: Punishment - 3/16/2006 10:46:23 AM

IndigoDadesi

Posts: 185
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling

quote:

So i'm confused in wondering why some actually find punishment as a fun game.

I think it is because they dont feel they get enough attention so they will seek out even negitive attention.
sorta like a two yr old.

I would even go so far as to say that they are MADE to feel that they are not good enough for attention...at least when it comes to two years olds....

(in reply to swtnsparkling)

Post #: 28

RE: Punishment - 3/16/2006 11:35:46 AM

truesub4u

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Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

Bows Gracefully to Raven and IronBear....

I stand corrected.... and thank you both for your views in this.... it helps me understand more... of how others think and do. And makes me think more about myself.... thank you both again.

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 29

RE: Punishment - 3/16/2006 3:47:18 PM

ExistentialSteel

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Joined: 1/18/2005
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Doms punish because we love it and because the subs love it. Most of the time, we do it upfront without excuse. On occasion we look for reasons just to make it more fun. No reason to kid.

_____________________________

For those who are like Roman Candles leaving bright trails in the night sky while the crowd watches until the dark blue center light bursts into magnificent colors and the crowd goes, ahhhhhhhhhh.

(in reply to Level)

Post #: 30

RE: Punishment - 3/16/2006 3:57:51 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

Doms punish because we love it and because the subs love it. Most of the time, we do it upfront without excuse. On occasion we look for reasons just to make it more fun. No reason to kid.

Ok...I need to jump on this one...just for the hell of it

Speaking for myself, I do not, and would never LOVE a punishment so much that I would go out of my way to attain one. And I have yet to meet a Master/Dominant who enjoyed punishing their slave/submissive. Unless I read what you wrote wrong? Or got the wrong idea from it? It just struck me as ...wrong..

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to ExistentialSteel)

Post #: 31

RE: Punishment - 3/16/2006 4:05:16 PM

ExistentialSteel

Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline

Actually, you did get the wrong idea or it could be that it is my fault because of the way I wrote it. Let me be more specific. Doms like causing pain and subs like receiving pain. At times we both look for excuses to get what we both want. See what I mean?

_____________________________

For those who are like Roman Candles leaving bright trails in the night sky while the crowd watches until the dark blue center light bursts into magnificent colors and the crowd goes, ahhhhhhhhhh.

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 32

RE: Punishment - 3/16/2006 4:06:34 PM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

Doms punish because we love it and because the subs love it. Most of the time, we do it upfront without excuse. On occasion we look for reasons just to make it more fun. No reason to kid.

Ok...I need to jump on this one...just for the hell of it

Speaking for myself, I do not, and would never LOVE a punishment so much that I would go out of my way to attain one. And I have yet to meet a Master/Dominant who enjoyed punishing their slave/submissive. Unless I read what you wrote wrong? Or got the wrong idea from it? It just struck me as ...wrong..

I maybe wrong but I think ES maybe refering to CP, which IMO is play not punishment. I use the word to refer to actions taken to correct errant behaviour.

Just a diffrence in Labeling I think.

And you are right, at least in this case, I DON'T enjoy punishing a girl. Play however I DO enjoy... Hmmm on that note... still need to get myself a new riding crop at some point.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 33

RE: Punishment - 3/16/2006 4:08:03 PM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExistentialSteel
Actually, you did get the wrong idea or it could be that it is my fault because of the way I wrote it. Let me be more specific. Doms like causing pain and subs like receiving pain. At times we both look for excuses to get what we both want. See what I mean?

Who the hell needs an excuse?

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to ExistentialSteel)

Post #: 34

RE: Punishment - 3/16/2006 4:08:42 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExistentialSteel

Actually, you did get the wrong idea or it could be that it is my fault because of the way I wrote it. Let me be more specific. Doms like causing pain and subs like receiving pain. At times we both look for excuses to get what we both want. See what I mean?

That I understand, yes. But then, in that case, it would not be punishment now would it

I am being deliberatly obnoxious...I know

/looks around and whistles

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to ExistentialSteel)

Post #: 35

RE: Punishment - 3/16/2006 4:10:57 PM

ExistentialSteel

Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse
Who the hell needs an excuse?

Haha, I think we are getting to my point.

_____________________________

For those who are like Roman Candles leaving bright trails in the night sky while the crowd watches until the dark blue center light bursts into magnificent colors and the crowd goes, ahhhhhhhhhh.

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 36

RE: Punishment - 3/16/2006 4:13:41 PM

ExistentialSteel

Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

I am being deliberatly obnoxious...I know

/looks around and whistles

Nahh, you are cool (as I hope I am with you). I think you probably get what I mean by now.

_____________________________

For those who are like Roman Candles leaving bright trails in the night sky while the crowd watches until the dark blue center light bursts into magnificent colors and the crowd goes, ahhhhhhhhhh.

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 37

RE: Punishment - 3/16/2006 4:15:20 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

Yes lol, I do. Understand what you were saying, that is

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to ExistentialSteel)

Post #: 38

RE: Punishment - 3/16/2006 4:18:18 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

'Ohhhhh give me a flogger, one in each hand,
On your bare arse, I'll strike up a band.

One will thud and the other will sting,
Over the noise I'll flog till you do sing.

As a finale to this flogging, I'll reach for a crop,
By the time I've finished, you'll klnow who is on top."

< Message edited by IronBear -- 3/16/2006 4:19:00 PM >

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to ExistentialSteel)

Post #: 39

RE: Punishment - 3/16/2006 4:18:57 PM

fiddlegirl

Posts: 43
Joined: 9/17/2005
Status: offline

I'm one of those who consider punishment a fun playful thing. I think this is basically a vocabulary difference between the D/S scene and the top/bottom scene. I'm a masochistic bottom, not a submissive.

My top and I do physical play because he enjoys dishing it out and I enjoy receiving it. There's no element of him trying to change my actual behaviour.

However, we're both entertained by the fantasy that the physical play is a punishment, so it's preceded by a confession (sometimes an imaginary offense, and sometimes a real but trivial offense, like that I was late for class).

As for the suggestion that a person ask or beg for a beating... well, I could, but it wouldn't be as much fun that way. I suppose that would be a good strategy for somebody who was both masochistic and submissive.

Fiddlegirl

< Message edited by fiddlegirl -- 3/16/2006 4:21:14 PM >

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 40

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