Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain

Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain (Full Version)

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MistressMaster85 -> Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain (12/9/2009 7:14:17 PM)
We are a couple who consider ourselves a Mistress and Master (after a couple of years of her as a sub, she found out she was more dominant) who have been playing (with each other) for almost 3 years. We know pretty much what we are looking for in a sub/slave. My real question as the Mistress, is ..... *Do all Dominants use pain (whipping, caning, etc)?* I know it is probably a sort of silly question, considering we have never used pain in our relationship. I was just wondering how many more Dominants do not use pain. There are plenty of other ways to please a sub/slave without it. I just worry that because we do not induce pain, that it will be harder to find a sub/slave that won't be a total pain slut.

breatheasone -> RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain (12/9/2009 7:23:21 PM)
i consider myself a slave to my Master. i also enjoy physical pain, having said that, being a s-type does not necessarily equal a pain slut.

Lockit -> RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain (12/9/2009 7:25:50 PM)
I used to think it was harder to find a submissive that wasn't into painful things and becasue I am no sadist... I figured it would be difficult for me. But, I have had a lot of emails from submissive's that really only want the pain if their dominant does and mostly they want the d/s and maybe some kink. I was kind of shocked at how many let me know they were around. I do like some pain play... but if I have someone who really isn't into pain, I am okay with that. I mean, I would miss the spanking and nipple play... or nipple ouchie stuff... but, for the right person, I could give it up and just try to sometimes find a friend who wants a spanking once in a while! lol (She knows who she is!)

BKSir -> RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain (12/9/2009 7:29:46 PM)
Not at all. It still bugs me sometimes to give the pet a swat on the backside in "fun". I would never wish to strike my pet. Punishment consists of other things. An ice cold shower for 3 minutes is effective. If he has an infraction, we suspend his internet for a period of time. And to let him know he's disappointed me is about the most painful thing that he can imagine. Pain is not a necessity whatsoever. In fact, I've found on a very consistent basis, that reward and kindness foster correct behavior in my pets, far better than pain or fear.

Lockit -> RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain (12/9/2009 7:34:27 PM)
Ice cold showers? OMG... heartless! lol I would be in tears I tell ya!

jennileigh8182 -> RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain (12/9/2009 7:34:46 PM)
From a sub view...s... i don't particularly care for pain. i like it only so far as some heightened sensations....like from a quick swat, or a moderate bite, a light tug of the hair, some raking of nails...that sort of thing. But actual pain? That would make me shut down and just fear my partner.

MistressMaster85 -> RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain (12/9/2009 7:42:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BKSir And to let him know he's disappointed me is about the most painful thing that he can imagine. I totally agree with this. I answered my own question really when I was typing it earlier. I am always glad to see new ways of punishing without pain. I love these forums. I visit everyday, and usually post a couple of them myself.

AlexandraLynch -> RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain (12/9/2009 8:19:23 PM)
I certainly can have a relationship with a sub without it. But right now I have a sub who I use only very light pain on (raking nails, biting, nipple pinching), and I have one who enjoys recieving pain and humiliation from his mistress, and that works out very nicely for the occasions when I feel like causing pain.

LadyDelilahDeb -> RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain (12/9/2009 8:24:00 PM)
Bondage & Discipline Dominance & Submission Sadism & Masochism Sex The abbreviations cover a gamut as complex and varied as the color gamut, multiplied by human variation. Not all dominant humans are also sadists. Not all submissive humans are also masochists. Not all masochistic humans are submissive. Not all sadistic humans are dominant. And not all dominant, submissive, sadistic, or masochistic humans are necessarily sexual in their preferred behaviors. Your mileage WILL vary. Lady Delilah Deb

Lockit -> RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain (12/9/2009 8:33:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyDelilahDeb Bondage & Discipline Dominance & Submission Sadism & Masochism Sex The abbreviations cover a gamut as complex and varied as the color gamut, multiplied by human variation. Not all dominant humans are also sadists. Not all submissive humans are also masochists. Not all masochistic humans are submissive. Not all sadistic humans are dominant. And not all dominant, submissive, sadistic, or masochistic humans are necessarily sexual in their preferred behaviors. Your mileage WILL vary. Lady Delilah Deb LOL... wow that was a twister... I keep picturing a submissive having to say that really fast at least three times! I think I'm tired, but I did enjoy the thought. lol Thanks!

DarkSteven -> RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain (12/9/2009 8:50:55 PM)
OP, I'm not sure I understand your question... there is pain and there is pain. In some relationships, I have used pain for punishment as warranted. In some, I have avoided its use. In all my D/s relationships, I have used pain - sometimes very light pain - as play and sometimes for foreplay.

Arrogance -> RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain (12/9/2009 10:01:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit I used to think it was harder to find a submissive that wasn't into painful things and becasue I am no sadist... I figured it would be difficult for me. Teach my lady friend to not be a sadist, please! That's something you can teach, right?

Andalusite -> RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain (12/9/2009 10:30:23 PM)
There are a lot of people here who do D/s and possibly bondage but not S/M. I'm the opposite - when I was looking, I was open to a D/s or a kinky egalitarian relationship with S/M and bondage but no power exchange, but not one with nobody getting any physical pain of at least mild sorts, and preferably more. I'm a switch, so I'm flexible, but if I'm dating somebody, at least one of us is going to get hurt in fun ways. [;)] What I don't get are the D/s people who then turn around and call the S/M folks "vanilla" when they don't even give or get a little swat or a bite!

LadyPact -> RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain (12/10/2009 12:04:37 AM)
Today I do, but that wasn't always the case. I tend to think that some of the folks who know Me now would get a very good chuckle out of the fact that I had absolutely no interest in sadism when I first started out. The problem with this was that I was paired with someone who did have a taste for masochism. The point of which is that it's a compatibility issue. There are a good number of submissives out there who aren't masochists at all and would be very happy in a situation where the person in charge isn't interested in administering pain. There are plenty of folks out there who have a wide array of different interests. Some are happy within an authority dynamic that has nothing to do with the S/m part.

WyldHrt -> RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain (12/10/2009 12:07:51 AM)
quote: Teach my lady friend to not be a sadist, please! No. [:D] -SadisticSubbie

WyldHrt -> RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain (12/10/2009 12:10:19 AM)
quote: I tend to think that some of the folks who know Me now would get a very good chuckle out of the fact that I had absolutely no interest in sadism when I first started out. Having been on the receiving end with you, I certainly do! [:D]

LadyPact -> RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain (12/10/2009 12:18:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WyldHrt quote: I tend to think that some of the folks who know Me now would get a very good chuckle out of the fact that I had absolutely no interest in sadism when I first started out. Having been on the receiving end with you, I certainly do! [:D] Yes, but My eyes certainly didn't light up as brightly back then. Not to mention, it's a hell of a lot more fun. Miss you.

WyldHrt -> RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain (12/10/2009 12:25:00 AM)
quote: Yes, but My eyes certainly didn't light up as brightly back then. Not to mention, it's a hell of a lot more fun. They sure do now, I have pics! And I'm pretty sure You were having fun... I sure was! [:D] quote: Miss you. Miss You, too!!

LadyPact -> RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain (12/10/2009 12:35:56 AM)
Oh good, because I may be back your way rather soon. And on that happy note, I will wish you and yours a goodnight. Now returning you to your regularly scheduled thread, as a wonderful smile is on My face and lovely memories fill My head.

ElectraGlide -> RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain (12/10/2009 12:41:53 AM)
No. I do not administer pain. I do administer play which is a sensation that gives pleasure, which is a step below pain. Easy does it, find the fine line inbetween light and harsh, lol. As far as punishment you do not have to give pain, my Slave knows when I am unhappy about a situation, I can lecture my way through it and come up with a creative punishment that has nothing to do with pain. There is a such thing as a Service only Submissive that has no interest in BDSM play.

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