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Violent dreams - 12/13/2009 9:57:01 AM

HisSweetElysium

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I'm wondering if anyone has experience or solutions to a loved one who experiences violently upsetting dreams. Master is a wonderful, caring and loving man, but something happens when He falls asleep. Almost every night He wakes me up yelling fiercely. These are not mumblings of someone talking in their sleep, they are fully pronounced sentences, sometimes accompanied by kicking and thrashing too.

I have tried touching Him gently, speaking to Him softly, and sometimes that works to rouse Him enough to settle, however sometimes that is not enough. He has kicked me hard several times, grabbed me by the face, and most recently I narrowly avoided being backhanded by grabbing His wrist just before impact. He wakes up and is sickened to have almost hurt me in these ways, or hurt me. Neither of us know what to do. The last time scared me enough so that I could not fall back to sleep for several hours, and given that He has a studio apartment, it made for a long night of laying in bed next to Him, staring at the ceiling. I talked to Him about it the next day and He agreed that we would do overnights at my house for a while, so that if something happens, I have the option of getting up and going into another room. I hate that this is an issue though, as does He.

If anyone has experience or solutions, I would greatly appreciate hearing them.

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RE: Violent dreams - 12/13/2009 9:59:50 AM

RopePrincess

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To bad you are a sub and he is Dom. Getting up and getting some ice water to throw would bring him right out.

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RE: Violent dreams - 12/13/2009 10:04:34 AM

angelikaJ

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He should have a sleep study done.

There are medications that can help with nightmares, Topamax being one of them.
If he is having night terrors instead there are other medications that can help with those.
My question is why hasn't he consulted his physician?

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RE: Violent dreams - 12/13/2009 10:21:09 AM

HisSweetElysium

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true enough, that would NOT go over well at all!

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“This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet.” Rumi

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RE: Violent dreams - 12/13/2009 10:26:11 AM

HisSweetElysium

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they are typically dreams with Him fighting/arguing with someone really fiercely. My last boyfriend had night terrors, terrible frightening dreams almost every night, but they were not accompanied by physical things like this, at worst he'd twitch and whimper and because I knew what was going on, I'd wake him up. I'll look up the meds, I'm reluctant to encourage Him to pursue that, as I tend to be a bit wary. I mentioned the possibility of a homeopathic sleep aid, knowing that dreams take place in level 1 sleep, and also knowing that things like this happen when sleep paralysis is not working properly. The sleep aid I have contains Valerian Root though (sp) and He mentioned having adverse reactions in the past.

I'm still hoping that it has to do more with His stress with school than with an actual problem. He's apparently always been a talker, His father is too, but this physical stuff is a recent development, either that or He's just spending more frequent nights with a bed partner than in the recent past.

Thank you again for the resources!

_____________________________

“This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet.” Rumi

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RE: Violent dreams - 12/13/2009 10:36:07 AM

dreamerdreaming

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If he's a war vet, he needs to go get help at the VA or MTF, right now yesterday. He could kill you. You need to take this seriously. Are there any knives or other weapons within reach of where he's sleeping?

If I were you I wouldn't be sleeping with him at all until he's gotten some effective help with this. Sounds like a bad case of PTSD, IMHO. He should see a doctor, and a qualified therapist ASAP.

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RE: Violent dreams - 12/13/2009 10:40:09 AM

zephyroftheNorth

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSweetElysium

they are typically dreams with Him fighting/arguing with someone really fiercely. My last boyfriend had night terrors, terrible frightening dreams almost every night, but they were not accompanied by physical things like this, at worst he'd twitch and whimper and because I knew what was going on, I'd wake him up.

nope what your bf had were bad dreams, it's your Master who is having night terrors. It's the physical stuff n top of the dreams that define night terrors, not just how bad the dreams are.

http://www.healthscout.com/ency/68/341/main.html

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RE: Violent dreams - 12/13/2009 10:42:47 AM

Phoenixpower

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quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

If he's a war vet, he needs to go get help at the VA or MTF, right now yesterday. He could kill you. You need to take this seriously. Are there any knives or other weapons within reach of where he's sleeping?

If I were you I wouldn't be sleeping with him at all until he's gotten some effective help with this. Sounds like a bad case of PTSD, IMHO. He should see a doctor, and a qualified therapist ASAP.

dito...take it serious as after all...sometimes such serious sleep problems have fatal results:

http://news.stv.tv/uk/138792-man-who-strangled-wife-in-sleep-walks-free/

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RE: Violent dreams - 12/13/2009 10:55:36 AM

igor2003

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Perhaps seeing a doctor would be the best bet, however sometimes the solution is very simple. As for myself, I do sometimes have violent dreams, though I rarely get 'physical", such as thrashing about etc. When I have these dreams the violence can be very extreme such as severly harming someone up to and including their death, though the people in my dreams are usually figments of my imagination rather than anyone I know in real life. After a while I finally realized what was triggering these dreams. I was getting too warm at night!

On the converse, when I get chilled while sleeping, or when an arm or leg comes out from under the covers my dreams always include snow, which actually makes at least a little bit of sense. By being careful in regulating my sleep temperature I can normally avoid either type of dream.

If I have ice cream just before going to bed I often get the type of nightmares that are very realistic but you are unable to move, escape, or do anything to get away from what is happening in the dream.

You might try keeping a log every day of what food and drink is consumed, temperatures, sleeping hours....everything you can think of and compare what things change day to day in relation to the dreams to see if you can find any connections.

(in reply to HisSweetElysium)

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RE: Violent dreams - 12/13/2009 10:57:56 AM

HisSweetElysium

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nope, not a war vet, I don't think He's ever even been in a fight. We don't have weapons either, unless the flogger counts.

I am not so naive to think that people are always 100% honest with each other, but there is just nothing in His background (at least that He's shared with me) that would give Him PTSD. I have shared my somewhat traumatic past with Him, and very much been open to the things He has shared with me, but there's just nothing that would warrant this sort of thing, again, at least in what He has told me.

I do appreciate the concern, because others are responding in a similar way, I will pursue this more aggressively. I was thinking I'd get some sort of "warm milk before bed" response, but I guess it's beyond that. :(

_____________________________

“This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet.” Rumi

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RE: Violent dreams - 12/13/2009 10:59:41 AM

HisSweetElysium

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thank you so much for clarifying, my last bf tended to be a bit of a drama queen, and so I'm sure in his mind, having "nightmares" sounded more impressive.

_____________________________

“This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet.” Rumi

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Post #: 11

RE: Violent dreams - 12/13/2009 11:01:42 AM

HisSweetElysium

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quote:

ORIGINAL: igor2003

After a while I finally realized what was triggering these dreams. I was getting too warm at night!

This is actually a distinct possibility. Each of the more violent things that has happened has occurred at His place, where the heat is stifling (I call His room the sauna room). My place tends to be about 10 degrees cooler. Maybe we can work on that until He can get to the Dr. not so hard to open a danged window. REALLY hoping it's that simple....

_____________________________

“This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet.” Rumi

(in reply to igor2003)

Post #: 12

RE: Violent dreams - 12/13/2009 11:07:24 AM

zephyroftheNorth

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Igor if being too hot were all it took to have night terrors, I'd be having them too. Every night I get so hot, I wake up drenched but never have I experienced what the OP's dom has. I think what you have is a coincidence.

Zeph.

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RE: Violent dreams - 12/13/2009 11:24:46 AM

Phoenixpower

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSweetElysium

I am not so naive to think that people are always 100% honest with each other, but there is just nothing in His background (at least that He's shared with me) that would give Him PTSD. I have shared my somewhat traumatic past with Him, and very much been open to the things He has shared with me, but there's just nothing that would warrant this sort of thing, again, at least in what He has told me.

Whilst we might know many aspects which could trigger it, dont forget that there can also be things in the unconsciousness...or events where we might think it doesn't bother someone where nevertheless the soul feels different about it

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RE: Violent dreams - 12/13/2009 1:06:06 PM

pahunkboy

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50 mg of trazadone might fix that. What meds is he on?

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RE: Violent dreams - 12/13/2009 1:13:48 PM

dreamerdreaming

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quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

Igor if being too hot were all it took to have night terrors, I'd be having them too. Every night I get so hot, I wake up drenched but never have I experienced what the OP's dom has. I think what you have is a coincidence.

Zeph.

Night sweats may have nothing to do with warmth. I know you said you get hot (you little vixen

) but I'm just sayin'...

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RE: Violent dreams - 12/13/2009 1:19:53 PM

breatheasone

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

50 mg of trazadone might fix that. What meds is he on?

Aye, there ain't much that won't fix....

i think a sleep study is the way to go. Depending on what type of insurance you have, you may, or may not need a referral from your primary physician.

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RE: Violent dreams - 12/13/2009 1:21:09 PM

dreamerdreaming

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSweetElysium

nope, not a war vet, I don't think He's ever even been in a fight. We don't have weapons either, unless the flogger counts.

I am not so naive to think that people are always 100% honest with each other, but there is just nothing in His background (at least that He's shared with me) that would give Him PTSD. I have shared my somewhat traumatic past with Him, and very much been open to the things He has shared with me, but there's just nothing that would warrant this sort of thing, again, at least in what He has told me.

I do appreciate the concern, because others are responding in a similar way, I will pursue this more aggressively. I was thinking I'd get some sort of "warm milk before bed" response, but I guess it's beyond that. :(

It could be something that happened so long ago, that he really doesn't think about it much at all in his conscious mind, and thus hasn't thought it was important enough to mention. In other words: he may not know the extent of the problem, or that there even is one, precisely because it is lodged in his unconscious mind. If I were you I would insist that he seek help ASAP.

_____________________________

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RE: Violent dreams - 12/13/2009 1:25:22 PM

zephyroftheNorth

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quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

Igor if being too hot were all it took to have night terrors, I'd be having them too. Every night I get so hot, I wake up drenched but never have I experienced what the OP's dom has. I think what you have is a coincidence.

Zeph.

Night sweats may have nothing to do with warmth. I know you said you get hot (you little vixen ) but I'm just sayin'...

*smiles* yeah okay vixen is accurate.

In any case I should have mentioned that it's always hot in here. My landlord is an elderly man who is always cold so the heat tends to be on full blast.

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RE: Violent dreams - 12/13/2009 1:28:28 PM

pahunkboy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

50 mg of trazadone might fix that. What meds is he on?

Aye, there ain't much that won't fix....

i think a sleep study is the way to go. Depending on what type of insurance you have, you may, or may not need a referral from your primary physician.

It could be an allergy. Caffeine or otherwise. A trazodone RX is like $8.50. I would try that first.

(in reply to breatheasone)

Post #: 20

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