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RE: How do you define "in the lifestyle"? - 12/15/2009 9:05:06 AM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		~FR

See, for me it first began when it first began...there I was just a lil egg, minding my ovum business. It was a haploid existence, but when this dominant spermatazoon just rammed and rammed me, with dominance, until he penetrated my serene, submissive, floaty lifestyle...

For me it's not just a gamete; it's been a growing experience.

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

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RE: How do you define "in the lifestyle"? - 12/15/2009 10:34:02 AM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BelleMajia

Recently, I've been participating more in various "lifestyle" forums and chatting with potential partners.

As a result, I've been wondering how other people define "in the lifestyle"?

My question is mainly about those getting to know you conversations where we discuss how long we've "been in the lifestyle".

Are there common bench marks or milestones along our journeys where we consider ourselves "in the lifestyle"?

Is it when you first fantasized about bdsm? Bought or read your first book? First played with bondage?


if that were the case id say ive been at this since i was about 5 years old!!

its an interesting question, but i would say its relevant to say youre 'in' when youve survived youre first encounter with 'the lifestyle' and want to stay.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to BelleMajia)
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RE: How do you define "in the lifestyle"? - 12/15/2009 10:57:31 AM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BelleMajia

How do you define "in the lifestyle"?



We've never lived any "lifestyle"... we enjoy a power dynamic as part of our lives, but there is no "lifestyle". 



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It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to BelleMajia)
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RE: How do you define "in the lifestyle"? - 12/15/2009 2:36:38 PM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Are there common bench marks or milestones along our journeys where we consider ourselves "in the lifestyle"?


If you're looking for the manual, there isn't one. It is what it is, to each individual.

(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: How do you define "in the lifestyle"? - 12/15/2009 3:36:59 PM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

~FR

See, for me it first began when it first began...there I was just a lil egg, minding my ovum business. It was a haploid existence, but when this dominant spermatazoon just rammed and rammed me, with dominance, until he penetrated my serene, submissive, floaty lifestyle...

For me it's not just a gamete; it's been a growing experience.


You crack me up...always have, always will.

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to subtee)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: How do you define "in the lifestyle"? - 12/15/2009 3:42:06 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		If your relationship contains elements of D/s, BDSM, etc. then you are practicing aspects of a lifestyle. If you are not in a relationship containing these elements, you are not currently in the lifestyle. You may still be interested in it, but unless there is real life participation and understanding, you are just observing a lifestyle rather than living it.

(in reply to persephonee)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: How do you define "in the lifestyle"? - 12/16/2009 5:17:38 AM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline 		The following has been researched by some and directly experienced by many. Before the internet and before bdsm became something that was subculturally self-conscious, even popular, most people felt they had to keep these needs very tightly under wraps. One of the few avenues kinky people had for meeting each other (aside from the backpages of certain maganzines) were going to swinger events. If you were lucky you might find someone who "swang your way" in these relatively free-spirited places. "Lifestyle" and "in the lifestyle" were initially swinger terms to describe their hedonistic interests. They were like a hetero hankie code in the 50s-70s: when someone casually mentioned "the lifestyle" in those decades it meant they swang or wife-swapped and wanted to know if you did too, and if you recognized the term there was a good chance you did. The phrase "in the lifestyle" was adopted by the isolated bdsm people attending the swinger events and applied later when bdsm-specific get-togethers started to happen. Given those associations, I don't use the word, as it more describes a social scene to me, not my personal sexuality.

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"A friend who bleeds is better" --placebo

"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris

(in reply to MarcEsadrian)
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RE: How do you define "in the lifestyle"? - 12/16/2009 7:16:47 AM   
ordinary


Posts: 27
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kanina

i consider myself in the lifestyle when my relationships became bdsm... i do participate in lots of forums and have a blog but if my relationships were not bdsm i would not consider myself in the lifestyle...


I agree. I keep getting people asking 'So how long have you been into the lifestyle' and it's just a strange question because I'm not INTO anything. Sure I go to munches and groups and demos, but I'm not seeing anyone and I'm not practicing anything so I can't really be 'into' anything either.

(in reply to kanina)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: How do you define "in the lifestyle"? - 12/16/2009 7:58:56 AM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

~FR

See, for me it first began when it first began...there I was just a lil egg, minding my ovum business. It was a haploid existence, but when this dominant spermatazoon just rammed and rammed me, with dominance, until he penetrated my serene, submissive, floaty lifestyle...

For me it's not just a gamete; it's been a growing experience.


You crack me up...always have, always will.


God, that's nice! Ditto, right back at ya.

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to persephonee)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: How do you define "in the lifestyle"? - 12/16/2009 9:37:53 AM   
slaveToKnight


Posts: 100
Joined: 8/2/2009
Status: offline 		For me I would say it was when I could  no longer ignore that need to submit and my whole being became totally unsatisfied with the vanilla relationship. I somehow found the courage to tell my partner what I wanted (he dragged it out of me) and then I was never the same again, free and happy.  

(in reply to subtee)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: How do you define "in the lifestyle"? - 12/16/2009 9:54:18 AM   
Elisabella


Posts: 3939
Status: offline 		-FR-

Not in the lifestyle - "My husband is dominant."

In the lifestyle - "My Dominant is my husband."



I personally don't consider myself "In the lifestyle."

< Message edited by Elisabella -- 12/16/2009 9:57:07 AM >

(in reply to MarcEsadrian)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: How do you define "in the lifestyle"? - 12/16/2009 2:20:08 PM   
PrincessofFire


Posts: 13
Joined: 7/14/2008
Status: offline 		The defining moment that my daddy and I both agreed was the moment we "stepped into the lifestyle" was the day after we came back from a retreat. After reliving our experiences, we realized that part of our struggle with incorporating it into our lives was due largely to our lack of guidelines and communication of our wants and needs.

From that day on, we started building on a foundation, and we have been able to live our lifestyle from there!

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"I was put in this world to take care of you, as much as you were meant in your own way to take care of me." _My daddy

(in reply to MarcEsadrian)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: How do you define "in the lifestyle"? - 12/23/2009 2:27:52 AM   
Vamptasia


Posts: 6
Joined: 4/19/2006
Status: offline 		I have always considered myself as not a 24/7 lifestyler.  That is how I express it. I am 90% of the time dominate I take control of who I am where I am at and those who are around me in a sense.  But I don't seek to have to spend day in and day out with a set of rules on how to behave to be my submissive or be his or her dominate or what have you.   In the lifestyle for me does mean a 24/7 D/s relationship.  But that is definitely my opinion and I have been around the BDSM community for 15 years.  I am a switch who started out as a submissive to a very wonderful Dom.  One day I showed him just how I too can be Dominate to a submissive female friend and he about flipped because I can switch between the two in the blink of an eye so to speak.  I have had  vanilla kink lifestyle since meeting Sir John but I don't live it 24/7.   Although my tantric play is always a part of me who I am and what I do.  So in a sense I take or relinquish control near daily but I don't always full blown enjoy the BDSM lifestyle.

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Vamptasia aka Robbin
Mistress of the Erotic Darkness

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RE: How do you define "in the lifestyle"? - 12/23/2009 2:38:13 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

I am 90% of the time dominate


dominant

(in reply to Vamptasia)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: How do you define "in the lifestyle"? - 12/23/2009 3:02:30 AM   
EbonyWood


Posts: 2044
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline 		Gawd that word again.
 
I know it's a convenient descriptive but 'lifestyle' always makes me think I've jumped a fence and joined a cult.
 
There was no conscious decision to live a 'lifestyle'. It just is. Definitions are for other people. 

(in reply to BelleMajia)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: How do you define "in the lifestyle"? - 12/23/2009 10:36:54 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		i don't consider myself in a lifestyle, i have a life with varied interests i engage in, one of which is a desire to abuse my woman

why, because i like to

it's not spiritual, it's not for growth, it's not because i exist on a higher astral plane, it gets my cock hard

i've come to accept that and i'm ok with it

can i say cock?

< Message edited by osf -- 12/23/2009 10:45:18 AM >

(in reply to subtee)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: How do you define "in the lifestyle"? - 12/23/2009 11:07:03 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Lifestyle = Too much style, not enough life.



Jeffwey

(in reply to BelleMajia)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: How do you define "in the lifestyle"? - 12/23/2009 11:16:13 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Lifestyle = Too much style, not enough life.


People who put definitions on this kind of shit irk the fuck out of me.  Most of them are simply voicing someone elses words. 

Fuck the definitions. There is a rather odd paradigm that exists out here in this here internetty bdsmland thingamajig ...the odder the picture or the name of the poster the more likely they will have some sort of a belief or need for terminology.

Why in the fuck is that?

_____________________________



(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: How do you define "in the lifestyle"? - 12/23/2009 11:20:10 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Lifestyle = Too much style, not enough life.


People who put definitions on this kind of shit irk the fuck out of me.  Most of them are simply voicing someone elses words. 

Fuck the definitions. There is a rather odd paradigm that exists out here in this here internetty bdsmland thingamajig ...the odder the picture or the name of the poster the more likely they will have some sort of a belief or need for terminology.

Why in the fuck is that?


hear hear

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: How do you define "in the lifestyle"? - 12/23/2009 11:22:50 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		I agree!


SuperMasterOwnerDom

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 40
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