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RE: How much submission do you NEED? - 12/18/2009 4:41:08 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

I know, the caveat I posted is because this board has a lot of lurkers who come here to read and learn. Pointing out that some things are mostly wank fodder helps those who are interested in moving from fantasy to real life dynamics 




oh if that were true. i do get the impression that there are many many lurkers on here and other sites who do not bother to read the threads or learn anything at all.

edited to add: i love the post script under youre messages 'motherfucker is not a safe word' - im laughing my head off here.

< Message edited by lally2 -- 12/18/2009 4:44:28 PM >

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to WyldHrt)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: How much submission do you NEED? - 12/18/2009 4:55:16 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy

I'm submissive and the same question turned on its head is interesting to me. If I found a man I really liked but he wouldn't/could't dominate me, would I pursue the relationship? The answer is no. I can't submit if he won't dominate, and I need to submit.


i kinda explored this a couple of days ago. faced with the possibility of a non Ds relationship did i actually want it. the answer was no.

DesFip actually rounded that discussion off perfectly by saying that whilst a submissive can submit herself to a dominant personality, if he is not a Dominant, ie., he does not understand the psyche and intricacies of a submissive then it was likely that she would be misunderstood as a doormat and her giving/accepting/acquiescent nature would be taken advantage of.

for me personally i realised that i need to submit to someone who knows thats what im doing and that he will respond accordingly in a way that engages my submission further and so on.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to lucylucy)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: How much submission do you NEED? - 12/18/2009 4:59:41 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline 		to the OP i dont know about the Dominant angle, but i would imagine its possibe to temper dominance toward a non-submissive if everything else feels fab.

but, then again. if he craves control, if he craves that feeling of ownership and the pride of owning her heart, mind and body to do with as he wishes and her absolute submission to his will then i would have to say no.

there is way more to Ds than BDSM.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: How much submission do you NEED? - 12/18/2009 5:07:41 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: vtara

Hypothetically, you meet an attractive lady whose personality you like (or man, if you swing that way), she really wants you, you really want her, but she's not into D/s as much as you are or even not at all.

At what point is she not submissive/obedient enough for you to not pursue her?
If, for example, you're the type who wants to chain a nude slave to a post in your backyard and leave her there, would you settle for her only wearing handcuffs when you have sex sometimes?
For the right woman would you have a completely vanilla relationship?

Assuming of course, that you know how submissive she is. I'm sure many of you would at least try to bring out an undiscovered desire of hers.
A thread I found when searching through old ones gave me the impression that some doms don't like subs expressing their own preferences in a partner (sexual and otherwise) in their profiles, and want a sub's only desire to be pleasing their master- it made me curious how the horny instinct fares against the dominant.


She doesn't have to be submissive; if every other aspect of relationship falls into place, then that is something I can work with; vanilla isn't the worst thing in the world. However... for any D/s relationship to happen with me, she would have to be extremely submissive.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to vtara)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: How much submission do you NEED? - 12/18/2009 5:19:17 PM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline 		Hey Level, look.....he's offering you 4.5 million USD!!!!!  All you have to do is be honest...like him

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~


(in reply to hanjirat)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: How much submission do you NEED? - 12/18/2009 5:42:31 PM   
vtara


Posts: 11
Joined: 12/11/2009
Status: offline 		Perfect! I could use a couple million bucks.

As for the question, the way I wrote it came out sounding like it was all about sex, but I am interested in hearing about the non-sexual aspect as well!
If my question is missing anything you feel is relevant, feel free to expand on what is and what is not important to you.

(in reply to CarrieO)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: How much submission do you NEED? - 12/18/2009 6:23:30 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO

Hey Level, look.....he's offering you 4.5 million USD!!!!!  All you have to do is be honest...like him


I've sent my new friend instructions (via carrier pigeon) on how to get the moolah to me.

Hmm. I hope he didn't think I said "send me the mullah"...

< Message edited by Level -- 12/18/2009 6:26:25 PM >

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to CarrieO)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: How much submission do you NEED? - 12/18/2009 10:34:26 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2


quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy

I'm submissive and the same question turned on its head is interesting to me. If I found a man I really liked but he wouldn't/could't dominate me, would I pursue the relationship? The answer is no. I can't submit if he won't dominate, and I need to submit.


i kinda explored this a couple of days ago. faced with the possibility of a non Ds relationship did i actually want it. the answer was no.

DesFip actually rounded that discussion off perfectly by saying that whilst a submissive can submit herself to a dominant personality, if he is not a Dominant, ie., he does not understand the psyche and intricacies of a submissive then it was likely that she would be misunderstood as a doormat and her giving/accepting/acquiescent nature would be taken advantage of.

for me personally i realised that i need to submit to someone who knows thats what im doing and that he will respond accordingly in a way that engages my submission further and so on.


What she said.

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: How much submission do you NEED? - 12/19/2009 6:52:17 AM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Psychonaut23

Because missionary every night is fucking boring.  Or boring fucking, I guess.

10 points for the play on words alone.


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to Psychonaut23)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: How much submission do you NEED? - 12/19/2009 6:50:43 PM   
Underumam


Posts: 485
Joined: 12/18/2008
Status: offline 		"How much submission do I need?" If I knew that, I wouldn't need a Domme...lol.

(in reply to NihilusZero)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: How much submission do you NEED? - 12/19/2009 7:00:02 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		how much do i need? none

how much do i want is another question, all i can get

(in reply to vtara)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: How much submission do you NEED? - 12/24/2009 7:37:23 PM   
MasterUchiha


Posts: 10
Joined: 12/1/2009
Status: offline 		Yes I would consider it however being a Dom I am sure the D/s relationship may play out in other areas of our relationship

(in reply to vtara)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: How much submission do you NEED? - 12/24/2009 8:26:12 PM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

How much submission do you NEED?

approx 20 grams per square inch

IF I met someone here...that is less in the "lifestyle" then me and we really like eachother...I will try and see how long it lasts.
I won't push my feelings aside.

(in reply to NihilusZero)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: How much submission do you NEED? - 12/25/2009 10:54:43 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: vtara

Hypothetically, you meet an attractive lady whose personality you like (or man, if you swing that way), she really wants you, you really want her, but she's not into D/s as much as you are or even not at all.

At what point is she not submissive/obedient enough for you to not pursue her?
If, for example, you're the type who wants to chain a nude slave to a post in your backyard and leave her there, would you settle for her only wearing handcuffs when you have sex sometimes?
For the right woman would you have a completely vanilla relationship?

Assuming of course, that you know how submissive she is. I'm sure many of you would at least try to bring out an undiscovered desire of hers.
A thread I found when searching through old ones gave me the impression that some doms don't like subs expressing their own preferences in a partner (sexual and otherwise) in their profiles, and want a sub's only desire to be pleasing their master- it made me curious how the horny instinct fares against the dominant.


As I read this I think it's more of "how much submission does someone want/need WHEN?"  I mean, if the Man was looking for someone who would give everything over, right away, then I wouldn't have been the right woman for him.  It's a gradual process for me, and we evolve together as to "how much."  For me, there was no saying how much I would submit until I came to know and trust the man.  That's why we took time getting to know each other, to see if this was something we both wanted to pursue.  And for us, there was no rush in doing that.  But this man, being who he is, brings me to want to do more and more for him, and me, being who I am, brings him to want more and more from me - all at a gradual pace.  We're only 9 months into this, but we haven't even touched on many many things we see ourselves doing in the years to come - sexual, domestic, and otherwise.  Then again, we both want a well rounded relationship that carries over into all facets of life, and that's a pretty broad scope.  These things take time (for us, anyway).


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to vtara)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: How much submission do you NEED? - 12/25/2009 2:18:28 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		I don't need any... not sexually and not any other way. What I NEED is a good partner. Specifically that means one that meshes well with me. And I happen to think of myself as a broad personality with a great many possible fits. I could easily see myself meeting some woman and falling in love with her and it being an entirely different relationship than that which Carol and I have. In fact, I'd be very surprised were it not. I like owning Carol, not owning "slaves" or dominating "subs". Honestly, my suspicion is that the vast majority of women would not be worth the burden of responsibility that I associate with ownership.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: How much submission do you NEED? - 12/25/2009 6:10:35 PM   
tiemeupSir02


Posts: 62
Joined: 10/23/2009
Status: offline 		i know this post is for the Masters to anwer, but if the scenario was flipped i could no way do vanilla. if i were connected to the man and had everything else going physically, emotionally and sexually i have to be able to submit.

(in reply to NihilusZero)
Profile   Post #: 36
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