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RE: compliment or insult? - 12/14/2009 11:08:49 AM

Justme696

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yes..because it is a little shitty of the guy waiting till I am gone.
And it is even more shitty when my sub/slave would accept it when I am gone.
If they wanted something..they could wait.

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RE: compliment or insult? - 12/14/2009 11:18:23 AM

sunshinemiss

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You know, one time I was in a Starbucks and there was a man there. He just radiated something. He wasn't really handsome or goodlooking. He was just sitting there working on something on his computer. But he was magnetic. How could I compliment him without him thinking it was a come on? I finally wrote him a note and left it on his table as I walked out the door. It said "If I were a painter, I'd want to paint you." No name, no phone number, just an honest compliment.

In this scenario, I was alone. If I were with a Mayun, I wouldn't have even noticed him, so it wouldn't have happened.

It is my duty to appreciate beauty wherever it is...

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RE: compliment or insult? - 12/14/2009 11:48:52 AM

ranja

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

yes..because it is a little shitty of the guy waiting till I am gone.
And it is even more shitty when my sub/slave would accept it when I am gone.
If they wanted something..they could wait.

yes i understand this line of thinking but i think it is ... wrong haha

you are right that his behaviour might be construed as shitty... even more so if he was doing this without his girlfriends knowledge aswell... which i guess was the case... but i find it quite funny too, almost like a scene in a sit-com

i accepted the card rather gobsmacked... i am slow to respond especially when i do not expect things... he was gone before i had understood what had just happened and i did not think about getting up and chasing him towards the bar to give him his card back... i just sat there feeling rather flattered in a cheap sort of way...

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RE: compliment or insult? - 12/14/2009 12:00:57 PM

Mercnbeth

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ranja

even more so if he was doing this without his girlfriends knowledge aswell... which i guess was the case... but i find it quite funny too, almost like a scene in a sit-com

i accepted the card rather gobsmacked... i am slow to respond especially when i do not expect things... he was gone before i had understood what had just happened and i did not think about getting up and chasing him toward the bar to give him his card back... i just sat there feeling rather flattered in a cheap sort of way...

Oh hell ranja, knowing more of these details I would have had a whole lot of FUN if he didn't accept my invitation to join us for a drink.

I would have had beth go over and give his card back whispering, lustfully and loudly enough for his date to hear, "Thanks for the offer but the only man I do is my Master." Turning to the woman and saying; "However; here's Master's card and if you'd like to come home with us - I can assure you a GREAT time!"

I think I would also slip the waitress a $50 and had him/her get the exchange on video with my 'Blackberry' from the bar side of the conversation.

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RE: compliment or insult? - 12/14/2009 12:08:02 PM

ranja

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deliciously dark Merc, obviously you know how to play a good game

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RE: compliment or insult? - 12/14/2009 12:57:20 PM

Justme696

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I want to see one of those movies before I believe it :P

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RE: compliment or insult? - 12/14/2009 1:26:55 PM

persephonee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

ORIGINAL: ranja

even more so if he was doing this without his girlfriends knowledge aswell... which i guess was the case... but i find it quite funny too, almost like a scene in a sit-com

i accepted the card rather gobsmacked... i am slow to respond especially when i do not expect things... he was gone before i had understood what had just happened and i did not think about getting up and chasing him toward the bar to give him his card back... i just sat there feeling rather flattered in a cheap sort of way...

Oh hell ranja, knowing more of these details I would have had a whole lot of FUN if he didn't accept my invitation to join us for a drink.

I would have had beth go over and give his card back whispering, lustfully and loudly enough for his date to hear, "Thanks for the offer but the only man I do is my Master." Turning to the woman and saying; "However; here's Master's card and if you'd like to come home with us - I can assure you a GREAT time!"

I think I would also slip the waitress a $50 and had him/her get the exchange on video with my 'Blackberry' from the bar side of the conversation.

You dawg.

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RE: compliment or insult? - 12/14/2009 2:48:30 PM

sweetsub1957

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~Fast Reply~
If I were with Someone, I would say "Are you trying to poach me? No thank you, but I will let Sir know your intentions."

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RE: compliment or insult? - 12/14/2009 3:46:37 PM

littlewonder

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I can't answer for Master but I would be hesitant on accepting the card. I'd probably approach him and ask him why he gave it to me. Does he think I need help? Do I look like a hooker or someone that sleeps with men who are obviously with someone else? I'd feel extremely sorry for the girl and I'd view him as low class and tacky.

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RE: compliment or insult? - 12/14/2009 4:31:57 PM

ShoreBound149

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Neither........By waiting for me to go to the bathroom.....I'd think it was a douche move by a weasel.

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RE: compliment or insult? - 12/14/2009 4:33:44 PM

Aynne88

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I wouldn't take the card, I would make certain the man offering it knew I thought it was incredibly low rent & as an adult & not prone to irritating my Man or ruining a lovely meal I wouldn't tell him.

I have garnered enough experience working in male dominated fields for 20 years and bartending on the side to handle situations like this with a cutting remark and after that it needs nor deserves a second more of my time or attention.

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RE: compliment or insult? - 12/14/2009 5:32:15 PM

DesFIP

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Personally I'd wait for his girlfriend to return, and give her the card he just gave to me. And look to The Man to whisk me away from the ensuing fireworks.

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RE: compliment or insult? - 12/14/2009 6:19:22 PM

switch2please

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Something similar happened at a show recently... my boyfriend was at the bar and a rather attractive man approached me, said he was with someone but it was a first date and not going very well (and pointed out his date, a cute but very drunk girl thrashing wildly to the music) and asked if he could give me his number. B and I have a fairly equal dynamic and an open relationship so it was my decision, and I laughed. He was with someone and didn't have enough respect for her to suffer through the entirety of the first date before scanning the crowd...?!
If he had been single, though, I would have asked him to join us and see what happens...B is woefully straight, but very open-minded...
note: B is not my Master, but if he were in this scenario, of course I would have told him immediately - and I imagine he would have informed the date. If she were a bit more sober, he might even have asked her to join us as an afterthought - a bit vindictive, but effective.

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RE: compliment or insult? - 12/14/2009 6:19:35 PM

LafayetteLady

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FR-

This is another one of those situations where I don't think any of the responses are BDSM based. ranja never mentioned what the man said, simply that he gave her the card and walked away. I would have been interested to know what was on the card. A person's security in their own relationship is always going to dictate the response. While it is certainly not right to make a play for someone obviously on a date, there are those who are of a dubious enough nature to make the play anyway. Nearly all of the women admitted that they would give the card to their partner immediately upon his return. Everyone enjoys knowing that they are found attractive, it's just human nature. Like all things, it is how we deal with that situation that makes a difference. By handing the card to your partner, you are telling your partner that they can trust you not to betray them, and you are also letting them know that others find you appealing. The latter doesn't have to be a bad thing. Many of the men here are well aware that their women are appealing and are complimented by someone letting her know.

Personally, I have always found those who are ready to attack (either verbally or physically) someone attempting to "poach" their property to be blaringly immature. Many people in this world act dishonorably, it is a fact of life. But even if your partner were the type to take the card and then betray you by acting on it, it is your partner that has made the commitment to you, not the person they betray you with. I've often noticed that those who go on the attack often don't attack their partner which always leaves me with the WTF kind of look on my face.

Is it wrong for someone to attempt to pick up another who is obviously not "single?" Yes it is. But I've always found that I can measure the man by his reaction (when his partner turns them down and lets him know). To me, if he goes into "attack" mode, he is not secure in our relationship and doesn't trust me, and quite possibly can be a bit dangerously jealous. Not attributes I like in a man.

Finally, I would love to be a fly on the wall should Merc's invitation to join them have happened or if his alternate plan occurred. I'm sure it would have been entertaining either way.

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RE: compliment or insult? - 12/14/2009 6:28:52 PM

NormalOutside

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Complimented but protective, and I'd feel sorry for him that he had to resort to such slimy tactics to try to get a date.

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RE: compliment or insult? - 12/14/2009 8:04:09 PM

Acer49

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ranja

Masters,

Imagine you are at a table in a pub or restaurant with your sub having a brilliant time; good food, good confersation...
after a while you excuse yourself to use the lavatory
and when you return your sub tells you that in your brief absence the man standing by the bar (with his flirty girlfriend) just came over (when coincidentally his flirty girlfriend had gone to the loo too) and he handed over his card with his telephone number....

Would you be insulted or complimented ?

Considering he was out with a woman, the last thing he should be scoping out is another women. It is a rather crude way to be, but he is not worth my time or emotion, no I would be neither, and simply toss the card way

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RE: compliment or insult? - 12/15/2009 2:20:34 AM

ranja

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Thank you all for your opinions,

The beautiful butterfly girlfriend might have been the dominant one and the slimy poaching 'sales man' might have been under instructions to approach me (i have to say he was decent good looking... clean, smart dressed)... i did not know that the beautiful people were not playing a game together...

I believe all the girls who have responded that they would not have taken the card or would have chat back to put him in his place are much more ad-rem than i am...
Most people take the card or leaflet when it is offered to them; it is an instant reaction...

... also there really was no time to respond; he came over my way but did not look at me... i sort of figured he maybe headed for someone behind me... then abruptly he stopped, focused on me, said something nice i can't remember and at the same time he gave me his card and i automatically took it and then i looked at the card...
it had his name and a phone number printed on it... he was an insurance broker...
and when i looked up he was making his way back to the bar... and no way was i going to chase him and make a scene by myself... i would have found that embarrassing.

As i mentioned, i watched him walk back to the bar and wondered what his colourful fluttery girl was doing in the toilets coincidentally at the same time as MH was there... i thought He might have something equally hilarious to tell me on His return... making for an even more interesting evening than we'd had so far...

i was holding a card with possibilities... i saw it as a little ticket to a fairground,
i thought it was thrillingly funny

As for the BDSM angle of this thread someone was wondering about... if you live 'the life style' these 'everyday' things can be very kinky if you use them...
How about the opportunity that card gave us?

< Message edited by ranja -- 12/15/2009 2:27:01 AM >

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RE: compliment or insult? - 12/15/2009 2:25:25 AM

crazyml

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

You know, one time I was in a Starbucks and there was a man there. He just radiated something. He wasn't really handsome or goodlooking. He was just sitting there working on something on his computer. But he was magnetic. How could I compliment him without him thinking it was a come on? I finally wrote him a note and left it on his table as I walked out the door. It said "If I were a painter, I'd want to paint you." No name, no phone number, just an honest compliment.

In this scenario, I was alone. If I were with a Mayun, I wouldn't have even noticed him, so it wouldn't have happened.

It is my duty to appreciate beauty wherever it is...

Fuck me! What an awesome, gobsmackingly wonderful compliment to pay someone.

If I got a note like that it would have totally made my week.

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RE: compliment or insult? - 12/15/2009 2:43:01 AM

ranja

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88

I wouldn't take the card, I would make certain the man offering it knew I thought it was incredibly low rent & as an adult & not prone to irritating my Man or ruining a lovely meal I wouldn't tell him.

I have garnered enough experience working in male dominated fields for 20 years and bartending on the side to handle situations like this with a cutting remark and after that it needs nor deserves a second more of my time or attention.

I have the bartending experiences and never mastered the cutting remark to put people in their place sort of thing... i am more inclined to thank them for the compliments and keep the customers happy... (one time there even was a guy who wanted to paint me, i gave him a big smile and some paper and crayons)

i do admire your knowledge or instinct to keep the info from your man if you know it would irritate him... but is that not also sort of being less than honest about things?

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RE: compliment or insult? - 12/15/2009 2:55:50 AM

Elizabeth666

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I haven't asked Sir what He would do, but He's not the jealous type so He would probably be complimented.

ETA - I asked Him and He said "Complimented" and then added "I could only be insulted by what you would do in response, he owes me nothing I take it, so the only person I expect something from would be of you."

I told Him I would tell Him about it and give Him the card.

< Message edited by Elizabeth666 -- 12/15/2009 3:13:39 AM >

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