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RE: Reasons for rejection.... - 12/15/2009 8:31:58 AM

Underumam

Posts: 485
Joined: 12/18/2008
Status: offline

Having recently passed through a rejection myself, all I can offer is that like most other things in life, there are two sides to every conflict. I realize most people have certain criteria that needs to be met before even meeting, and they are often varied over a wide range of needs/demands. Some say it's all about the Dommes, some subs say it's all about them, others say their dominance is about helping the subs. The list goes on and on.....

No matter what, (except for slavery of course) a D/s relationship will most often times gravitate towards a mutual understanding of needing, and filling those needs. They won't last too long unless both sides become one in function and purpose, which will only come about through mutual respect, tolerance, devotion, patience and lots of time spent together. Just like any other relationship, things are built up in levels through trust as it hopefully grows with each passing day. Being "emotionally able/available" seems to apply to both D and s.

Rejection is a bitch. But in reality when it's all said and done, rejection happens for a reason, and both sides are better off in the long run for the subsequent split up. Some of us ask ourselves-what was my role in this? What could I have done better and etc. I believe that rejection fuels the fire of introspection, and there's really no need to do anything but apply the lessons learned and move on, causing as little harm to the other as possible.

Ain't life grand? lol.

(in reply to Surrenderwithin)

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RE: Reasons for rejection.... - 12/19/2009 8:03:08 PM

ThatDamnedPanda

Posts: 6060
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DrkJourney

Wow...one wonders what meds she is on. She goes from insta-domme to insecure to prude

I think you should give a prayer of thanks to whomever you pray to that you dodged the bullet on this one.

No collar and she insist on seeing your personal correspondance? She critiques the pics on your page? which you have no control over by the way. And seems to me like she doesn't like you being on the boards because she might have to actually prove that she knows what the hell she's doing, less you out her (which I know you wouldn't do, but we are talking insecure here)...which also means she knows you have an ocean of people that you can go to if you questioned any of her tactics.

You my friend just got the greatest Christmas present of all....enjoy!

Words right out of my mouth. Jesus, Mike, she sounds like a very insecure, unreasonable, and controlling person. Thank god you found out quickly.

To answer your original question, I guess I don't have a very strong opinion. It's been so many years since I've experienced rejection, I'm not sure how I'd handle it. I don't mean to suggest I'm just too hot to reject - it's just that in order to be rejected by someone, you must first be interested in someone, and it's been at least 6 or 7 years since I've met anyone i was interested in.

I guess, all things considered, I'd rather know. We all go through life with an image of who we are and how we relate to people, and it's almost entirely self-crafted, constructed from our own opinions and perceptions of ourselves. We very rarely get a genuine opportunity to check that self-image against the sincere opinions and perceptions of other people in our lives. I think it would be a valuable (although admittedly, perhaps painful) opportunity to do an objective self-check and get some pointers on where I need a little more work.

_____________________________

Panda, panda, burning bright
In the forest of the night
What immortal hand or eye
Made you all black and white and roly-poly like that?

(in reply to DrkJourney)

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Post #: 42

RE: Reasons for rejection.... - 12/19/2009 8:09:38 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

does the stated reason for the rejection matter?
it is not a BDSM thing at all, but a human thing. If there is rejection, of course we want to know why.

I disagree.

I really don't want someone to say "sorry I'm turning you down because you're too fat". I would much rather a polite "I'm sorry, but I just don't feel the necessary chemistry".

Some reasons will just hurt too much and there's no reason to deliberately hurt another.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to sirsholly)

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Post #: 43

RE: Reasons for rejection.... - 12/19/2009 8:09:47 PM

tsatske

Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline

I have a nude pic as my primary pic. A Dom wrote me with the typical 'get on your knees now bitch' bs,and when I told him off, told me, 'it's always the ones with the naked pics that want friends first, LOL.'
Well, good for me, because what I knowis, any man with that attitude towards nude women, is not a match for you.
Is a woman with that attitude towards the human body 'any man who would even be friends with a woman who would take a picture of her clothed ass....' - could such a woman possibly be a match for you?

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

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Post #: 44

RE: Reasons for rejection.... - 12/19/2009 8:47:42 PM

wykkidesire2plsU

Posts: 90
Joined: 12/9/2009
Status: offline

i bet you just got 50 hits on your viewed profile, i know i took a peek :).

Wykkid tattoo!

< Message edited by wykkidesire2plsU -- 12/19/2009 8:48:00 PM >

(in reply to tsatske)

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Post #: 45