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RE: From the "Reasons for Rejection' Idea - 12/18/2009 5:25:51 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Since I didn't phrase Myself well, I'll be glad to help out with that.

The thread over in the sub section specifically focused on a reason not to consider a particular sub for something that other people might find silly. (Ah, see, you didn't do your research with the link I provided.) I have some particular points of bias Myself that others may find just as silly. I was wondering what some of those might be in others.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 21

RE: From the "Reasons for Rejection' Idea - 12/18/2009 5:49:22 PM

Ladynslave

Posts: 376
Joined: 7/30/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Those two sentences put together are scrambling my brain somewhat, Ladynslave. Surely if it's the topic of the post, it's also the focus of it?

Yes, but the quote I had answered implied that everyone that answered the post was focused on rejection at all times, not just while answering here. Does that clarify?

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 22

RE: From the "Reasons for Rejection' Idea - 12/18/2009 6:00:46 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

Since I didn't phrase Myself well

Bad phrasing is one of my prime reasons for my rejecting a prospective Domme, LP.

I just felt I needed to warn you of that. To save you (and, indeed, thousands of others) woeful heartbreak in the future.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 23

RE: From the "Reasons for Rejection' Idea - 12/18/2009 6:08:42 PM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

Oooh, thanks, this was fun!

Top ten reasons for rejection:
2. Not straight or sub manly men: i.e., they're bisexual/dom/transvestite/switch;
3. Not single and/or not monogamous;
4. Not basically healthy, mentally and physically;
5. Not drug, drunk and disease-free;
6. Ot-nay ery-vay ight-bray;
7. Not socially sophistimicated: e.g., entire msg consists of 'hey', Aspberger-y complaining about fake dommes, listing sexual demands in a first msg., and two words: unsolicited cockshots
8. Not respecting my hard limits;
9. Not local/not interested in a LTR;
10. Not remembering they'd sent me an insulting msg/ pic with a girlfriend months ago and/or thinking I'd forgotten;

and the #1 reason:
Not reading my profile!!!

But how refreshing and pleasing when one received a really well-written and well-thought-out msg. Truly a gift!

Edited to add:
Dammit! Forgot:
'Not with dumbass remarks in their userID's, like '69' when they're not born in the year before 1970.'

< Message edited by Tantriqu -- 12/18/2009 7:02:09 PM >

(in reply to Ladynslave)

Post #: 24

RE: From the "Reasons for Rejection' Idea - 12/18/2009 6:43:44 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Since I didn't phrase Myself well

Bad phrasing is one of my prime reasons for my rejecting a prospective Domme, LP.

I just felt I needed to warn you of that. To save you (and, indeed, thousands of others) woeful heartbreak in the future.

Yeah, that big friggin ocean has nothing to do with it. LOL.

(It's ok. I still promise to beat you if you're ever in the States.)

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 25

RE: From the "Reasons for Rejection' Idea - 12/18/2009 7:33:10 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I still promise to beat you if you're ever in the States.

You know, I'm pretty sure I can download those words to my hard disc quicker than you can delete them, LP . . .

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 26

RE: From the "Reasons for Rejection' Idea - 12/18/2009 7:44:35 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Just remember, peon. My definition of beat is probably a bit different than yours. LOL.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 27

RE: From the "Reasons for Rejection' Idea - 12/19/2009 2:59:36 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Santoro

I think considering or even the thought of rejection is irrelevant. If another cannot enhance the quality of your life or you the life they are struggling with then dismissing them from your life is only logical and that has nothing to do with rejection.

Well said. People have to stop seeing mismatched as rejected. It can be an "I'm ok. You're ok. But together, we aren't ok."

That said, there are definitely criteria that I have for boys. I listed them in this thread entitled The Power of Attraction about a month ago, and following this, added the list to my profile.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Santoro)

Post #: 28

RE: From the "Reasons for Rejection' Idea - 12/19/2009 11:44:03 PM

UrMyboi

Posts: 49
Joined: 11/14/2009
Status: offline

Sites like this can be impersonal. If I'm not captured by a photo, or first words, I tend to move on. For me, if I am not attracted to a man who contacts me, or if he really doesn't "say" anything in his messages to me and/or he is married or bi, I will probably not be interested. We all have our own preferences and online first impressions can make or break the deal.

Ain't technology grand!

_____________________________

I would rather have a hard drive, than a floppy disk.

Curious? Who me?

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 29

RE: From the "Reasons for Rejection' Idea - 12/25/2009 11:40:47 PM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

I am not rejection oriented, I will explore areas of compatability wherever possible. That said, there are some basics, which, if they don't match up, will result in "rejection" before it gets too far. Above all, they have to be willing to accept the relationship between the sub side of myself and Master. However, other basics include:

1. A smoker, excessive alcohol drinker, taking illicit drugs
2. Someone who is not physically capable of doing what I want from a sub (NB I can work around some physical incapacity, and will take each case on its own merit)
3. Someone who is selfish, self-centred, for whom it is all about him and what I will do to him
4. Someone who does not pay attention to what I say and who doesn't learn quickly from errors that I correct
5. Someone who dislikes or is seriously allergic to pets
6. Someone who has such a fear of rejection that he likes to get in first and do the rejecting, then bleats when the person he rejected ultimately leaves. For this reason I like to explore their past relationships and look for patterns
7. Someone who refuses to obey a command that will not physically or mentally harm them but which will be at least momentarily uncomfortable or challenging to them
8. Someone who wants to serve Me in the ways he wants to serve instead of serving Me in the ways I want him to serve (eg someone who believes in the eyes down rule and won't look Me in the eye - I will give him time to relearn or get out of bad habits but he has to show willing and make effort to do that)
9. Someone who won't honestly share his thoughts and feelings, especially can't stand the "anything You say Ma'am" types
10. There has to be a certain level of intelligence, interests in common and capacity to articulate their ideas clearly for Me to stay interested.

I have been rejected as a Domme because:
1. Of My physique
2. Of My age
3. Of My good manners (I don't equate Domliness with rudeness but then some don't see Me as Dommly enough)
4. Of My loving and affectionate ways (doesn't suit those who want the cold bitch type)
5. Of My need to give aftercare (doesn't suit those who don't like aftercare)
6. Of My desire to talk a lot at the beginning and to probe their inner thoughts instead of just Dominating them
7. Of My lack of interest in humiliation play, degradation play, and views on punishment
8. Of My wariness about the motivations behind their desire to cross-dress (due to My experiences in this area)
9. Of My ultimate desire for sex with them (no, not straight off, but yes, ultimately, I'm going to keep a cock I want to use it! I'm not into keeping a cuckold or one in chastity devices all the time. I've been told that "real Dommes don't have sex with their subs!")
10. Of My desire to challenge them physically and mentally, to encourage them to step outside of their comfort zones and engage in personal growth (they wanted to stay in their ruts!)

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to UrMyboi)

Post #: 30

RE: From the "Reasons for Rejection' Idea - 12/26/2009 7:58:48 AM

hardbodysub

Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Who said anyone was focused on rejection? That was simply the topic of the post.

Those two sentences put together are scrambling my brain somewhat, Ladynslave. Surely if it's the topic of the post, it's also the focus of it?

Sure, the focus of the thread, but that doesn't mean it's the focus of the people, which appears to be the complaint.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 31

RE: From the "Reasons for Rejection' Idea - 12/26/2009 8:01:11 AM

hardbodysub

Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I think considering or even the thought of rejection is irrelevant. If another cannot enhance the quality of your life or you the life they are struggling with then dismissing them from your life is only logical and that has nothing to do with rejection.

I think it makes little difference whether one is rejected or dismissed.

< Message edited by hardbodysub -- 12/26/2009 8:03:03 AM >

(in reply to Santoro)

Post #: 32

RE: From the "Reasons for Rejection' Idea - 12/26/2009 4:28:40 PM

BlaiddDrwg

Posts: 26
Joined: 7/30/2007
Status: offline

The usual reason that I reject anyone on this site is that they obviously didn't read my profile. I list, quite clearly, what I'm seeking.

For example, I just got a message from a male slave in "Kuwaiit, Alabama," asking me to marry him. First, I'm not interested in people who were born with an XY chromosome. Second, I'm already married! Both of these pieces of information are clearly stated in my profile. If he had bothered to read it, then it would have saved (both of us) time and (on my part) aggravation.

(in reply to hardbodysub)

Post #: 33

RE: From the "Reasons for Rejection' Idea - 12/27/2009 11:03:09 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Wow, where do I begin? I do not bother with the ones who obviously will not be a match, like sissies, or humiliation players, or married guys. For the ones I do engage:

Not following directions, for instance if they call me by something I do not care for (ie, Mistress, Goddess) and do not IMMEDIATELY stop using the term.
Not LISTENING to what I am saying, or asking about ME----it's all talk about them.
Too much stress on kink, to the point of having no other topics of conversation.
Showing a lack of education or what used to be called "breeding".
Rude, sleazy, icky, or otherwise unpleasant commentary.
Unsolicited pictures of private parts.etc;

The number one reason I reject someone: THEY BORE ME. How is it possible that there are so many boring people in the world? But there ARE, of all genders and orientations. May they all meet one another and live happily ever after!

Lady Hibiscus has given an answer that reflects my mind set pretty closely. Particularly the parts I bolded.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 12/27/2009 11:04:03 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 34

RE: From the "Reasons for Rejection' Idea - 12/27/2009 5:15:11 PM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

Hardbody, I think of rejection as only being possible with someone I already am romantically involved with. If someone is a prospect, then screening based on smoking, or location, or whatever isn't personal, since we don't even know each other yet! Thinking of it as rejection just sets you up for unecessary angst and undermines your confidence. If you aren't a match for someone, it doesn't necessarily mean there's anything wrong with you, or with their standards, just that you aren't compatible!

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 35

RE: From the "Reasons for Rejection' Idea - 12/27/2009 6:14:47 PM

SomethingCatchy

Posts: 796
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

What are some of the reasons that you might reject a potential s type? Are all of your reasons absolutes? Are there some areas that you may not be comfortable with, but may not be on the same level such as things you refuse to tolerate?

I reject potentials based on three things -

He talks about sex, hints at sex, mentions an act that turns him on, or sends me a cock shot.

He can't hold a conversation to save his life.

He insists on being pushy and demanding.

Yes, my 'rejection list' is absolute. I will not give anyone a second chance to redeem himself after he's fucked up. To give second chances to someone who clearly lacks social skills is a huge waste of my time and energy, and only leads to frustration that I can't personally choke the shit out of him for being stupid.

_____________________________

I believe in Invisible Pink Unicorns

Everyone is gay for Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 36

RE: From the "Reasons for Rejection' Idea - 12/27/2009 6:38:37 PM

hardbodysub

Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite

Hardbody, I think of rejection as only being possible with someone I already am romantically involved with. If someone is a prospect, then screening based on smoking, or location, or whatever isn't personal, since we don't even know each other yet! Thinking of it as rejection just sets you up for unecessary angst and undermines your confidence. If you aren't a match for someone, it doesn't necessarily mean there's anything wrong with you, or with their standards, just that you aren't compatible!

I'd say that you've come up with your own special definition of the word, then.

(in reply to Andalusite)

Post #: 37

RE: From the "Reasons for Rejection' Idea - 12/27/2009 7:05:52 PM

MissBeautiful2U

Posts: 98
Joined: 12/5/2008
Status: offline

"For example, I just got a message from a male slave in "Kuwaiit, Alabama," asking me to marry him. "

OMG He asked you to marry him too? That freaking Two Timer. Heheeeeee

I am totally with you on that!

< Message edited by MissBeautiful2U -- 12/27/2009 7:07:47 PM >

(in reply to BlaiddDrwg)

Post #: 38

RE: From the "Reasons for Rejection' Idea - 12/29/2009 8:14:21 AM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

Hardbodysub, 3 or 4 other people on this thread expressed similar views of rejection. *shrugs*

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 39

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