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Does this tell you anything or not? - 12/15/2009 11:20:35 AM   
subfoxx


Posts: 9
Joined: 3/1/2009
Status: offline 		Question about telling whether someone you don't know well is potentially into BDSM.

Guy (mid-50s) when he has been talking to me on the phone has more than once refered to himself in the third person as Uncle Peter. As in "Listen to Uncle Peter". I am mid-30s.

He doesn't have any nephews or nieces in real life.

Someone else told me that he had been calling another woman some time ago and talking to her as if she was a young girl - in the context of flirting chat rather than anything overtly sexual.

Do you think this use of "Uncle" suggests he might be into master/schoolgirl type scenarios or other trangressive scenarios (father/daugher)?

Or is it too impossible to say and I am crazy for even asking?

It just seemed a bit of an odd use of language to me - given our relative ages. He's said this "Uncle" thing two or three times.

< Message edited by subfoxx -- 12/15/2009 11:22:41 AM >
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RE: Does this tell you anything or not? - 12/15/2009 11:25:22 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I think it suggests you should ASK HIM what it means to HIM..............if indeed, the answer matters to you.

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RE: Does this tell you anything or not? - 12/15/2009 11:28:55 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline 		sounds like you talk to a stranger?
if not...ask...

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RE: Does this tell you anything or not? - 12/15/2009 11:31:11 AM   
subfoxx


Posts: 9
Joined: 3/1/2009
Status: offline 		It's too early to ask!! I live a v. vanilla lifestyle basically and so far we have just been flirting. I don't know him that well but was just speculating .. .

If you're suggesting I ask, it sounds like you think it could be an indicator. . .

Do you think it's a bit out of the ordinary or is it the kind of thing people say normally?


< Message edited by subfoxx -- 12/15/2009 11:32:14 AM >

(in reply to Justme696)
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RE: Does this tell you anything or not? - 12/15/2009 11:32:42 AM   
MistressEllen444


Posts: 109
Joined: 7/21/2007
Status: offline 		I was on my way (driving) to meet a potential sub when I get a call from him giving his eta to the meeting place, he begins the conversation "Mommy". WTF? We have never talked about anything that would give him the right to address me in such a way. He turned out to be a complete selfish jerk on so many levels, but that one immediately was a huge red flag. His agenda, his fantasy, his everything with no consideration if I found this attractive or not.
So, in my opinion, sounds like this guy has already began the play and just not told you, but you as an individual may not matter at all, just any female voice on the phone may get him going.

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RE: Does this tell you anything or not? - 12/15/2009 11:35:26 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		If the relationship, such as it is, is advanced enough to TALKING... then rather naturally ASKING is normal.  You can ask without judgment "Hey, how come you call yoruself Uncle Peter?  I've never heard anyone else do that." 

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RE: Does this tell you anything or not? - 12/15/2009 11:36:51 AM   
subfoxx


Posts: 9
Joined: 3/1/2009
Status: offline 		you as an individual may not matter at all, just any female voice on the phone may get him going.

This is v. interesting Mistress Ellen - it would certainly fit with what I know of him. Regularly phoning women. . .

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RE: Does this tell you anything or not? - 12/15/2009 11:39:50 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subfoxx

It's too early to ask!! I live a v. vanilla lifestyle basically and so far we have just been flirting. I don't know him that well but was just speculating .. .

If you're suggesting I ask, it sounds like you think it could be an indicator. . .

Do you think it's a bit out of the ordinary or is it the kind of thing people say normally?



Why not just come right out and ask him "Why do you feel the need to call yourself Uncle Peter around me?"  Simple and to the point...no bdsm/ageplay or anything else, just a simple question.

Kind of reminds me of THIS ...all the third person talk.

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RE: Does this tell you anything or not? - 12/15/2009 12:50:19 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline 		i think the term could be taken one of two ways.

either he is into age play stuff or..,

its a sort of familiar/friendly/confide in me/trust me im kind and nice - sort of a thing.

silly i know. but i have a friend who helps me out with my horse and i help her out with hers and i often refer to her as Auntie Jane to my horse and yes, i know he cant understand a single word i say other than carrot, apple and stand you bastard! - but its kinda like a friendly thing only slightly more.

and ive probably made no sense atall. but i dont think you should assume he's bdsm on the strength of him referring to himself as uncle.

_____________________________

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RE: Does this tell you anything or not? - 12/15/2009 12:54:52 PM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subfoxx

It's too early to ask!! I live a v. vanilla lifestyle basically and so far we have just been flirting. I don't know him that well but was just speculating .. .

If you're suggesting I ask, it sounds like you think it could be an indicator. . .

Do you think it's a bit out of the ordinary or is it the kind of thing people say normally?




Just ask why he calls himself Uncle...normally people don't do that.
It is a normal decent question from someone interested in him.

(in reply to subfoxx)
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RE: Does this tell you anything or not? - 12/15/2009 12:57:40 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subfoxx

It's too early to ask!! I live a v. vanilla lifestyle basically and so far we have just been flirting. I don't know him that well but was just speculating .. .

If you're suggesting I ask, it sounds like you think it could be an indicator. . .

Do you think it's a bit out of the ordinary or is it the kind of thing people say normally?



How about a simple: "I am curious, why do you sometimes refer to yourself as "Uncle Peter"? "


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RE: Does this tell you anything or not? - 12/15/2009 1:28:11 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		It's common for people giving advice, or being a *listening ear* to refer to themselves as *Auntie this* or *Uncle that*. I've done it, and have had it said to me. It's never been in any D/s context and is usually just a way of giving friendly advice or suggestions.

agirl

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RE: Does this tell you anything or not? - 12/15/2009 1:49:44 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		personally, this slave would be WAY more receptive to "Uncle Peter" than "Daddy"...and, if he was interesting, would play along to see where he goes with it.

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RE: Does this tell you anything or not? - 12/15/2009 1:51:21 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subfoxx

...when he has been talking to me on the phone has more than once refered to himself in the third person as Uncle Peter. As in "Listen to Uncle Peter".



Just reply back next time with, "And what happens if I DOESN'T listen tuh Uncle Peter... does I gets a spankin'???".  His reply should hopefully clear things up.



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RE: Does this tell you anything or not? - 12/15/2009 2:03:52 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: subfoxx

...when he has been talking to me on the phone has more than once refered to himself in the third person as Uncle Peter. As in "Listen to Uncle Peter".



Just reply back next time with, "And what happens if I DOESN'T listen tuh Uncle Peter... does I gets a spankin'???".  His reply should hopefully clear things up.



Yes....and if he shivers...he's one of THEM! ....errr  US!


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RE: Does this tell you anything or not? - 12/15/2009 2:10:49 PM   
HisSweetElysium


Posts: 600
Joined: 11/12/2009
Status: offline 		I too think it's worth asking I've referred to myself as "auntie ____" when speaking from an authoritative place and giving advice, especially to someone younger than me, and that's by a couple of years, not 20 as in your case...

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RE: Does this tell you anything or not? - 12/15/2009 2:35:11 PM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

He's said this "Uncle" thing two or three times.


It can simply be a turn of phrase. But others are right, ask him - we don't know him, so we can only guess, right?

(in reply to subfoxx)
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RE: Does this tell you anything or not? - 12/15/2009 3:07:18 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		Is his name actually "Peter"?  Cause if it isn't, that makes me twice as suspicious. 

If he asks if Mr.Wiggles can can out and play, I'd be leery of that, too.  Likewise for "the twins" or "the boys".

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RE: Does this tell you anything or not? - 12/15/2009 3:46:12 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Has nothing to do with bdsm.

It's a phrase people use to make themselves feel familiar with you and more intimate in a family type of way or he sees himself as an "uncle" to you...are you a lot younger than him?

I know lots of men and women who use such terms. None are into bdsm or"d/s" as known here.

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RE: Does this tell you anything or not? - 12/15/2009 4:00:51 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subfoxx

Question about telling whether someone you don't know well is potentially into BDSM.

Guy (mid-50s) when he has been talking to me on the phone has more than once refered to himself in the third person as Uncle Peter. As in "Listen to Uncle Peter". I am mid-30s.

He doesn't have any nephews or nieces in real life.

Someone else told me that he had been calling another woman some time ago and talking to her as if she was a young girl - in the context of flirting chat rather than anything overtly sexual.

Do you think this use of "Uncle" suggests he might be into master/schoolgirl type scenarios or other trangressive scenarios (father/daugher)?

Or is it too impossible to say and I am crazy for even asking?

It just seemed a bit of an odd use of language to me - given our relative ages. He's said this "Uncle" thing two or three times.


It's just a guess on my part but....I'm thinking "Uncle Peter" has a bit of a pedophile issue.

(in reply to subfoxx)
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