Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/16/2009 9:01:31 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

After all, are there really guys out there who DON'T want a blow job?

Yep, my ex is one.... yet another reason he's my ex.


_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/16/2009 9:42:11 PM   
MistressAlikat


Posts: 4
Joined: 9/11/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

As we see from the posts, it's all perspective isn't it? Those who say it is being submissive, in my opinion, are the ones who go for the whole "on your knees, bitch" mentality. To them, they think that they are "forcing" their sub/slave/woman/partner to suck their cock. Personally, a woman sucking a man's cock is all about the woman's power, not the man's. Mind you, face fucking is something completely different. But when a woman goes down on a man, she is in control of his orgasm. How long is she going to play? How long will she stroke, lick, suck? Teeth or no teeth?


Well said LafayetteLady! I completely agree! How is it NOT dominant if I control everything about it - how fast I go (or how slow), the intensity, etc... I decide when to bring him to the verge of cuming and then decide whether or not to let him cum. In this case the sub being completely passive is a good thing - it means I'm controlling everything he is experiencing (or not experiencing) - sounds like ultimate control to me!

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/16/2009 9:57:58 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

How is it NOT dominant if I control everything about it - how fast I go (or how slow), the intensity, etc... I decide when to bring him to the verge of cuming and then decide whether or not to let him cum. In this case the sub being completely passive is a good thing - it means I'm controlling everything he is experiencing (or not experiencing) - sounds like ultimate control to me!

VERY good point, and it helped me articulate something that was in the back of my mind after my first post. As a sub, when I'm blowing a Dom, he's in control. If he wants things faster, slower, harder, softer, whatever, he says so and I obey. That's pretty much a 180 from the situation where a Domme is performing the same act, but retains complete control and does what she wants, the way she wants to, innit?

< Message edited by WyldHrt -- 12/16/2009 9:58:29 PM >

_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to MistressAlikat)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/16/2009 11:50:22 PM   
johndafreak


Posts: 46
Joined: 3/26/2007
Status: offline 		Q.  What's the best thing about a blow job?
A.   at least 15 min. of silence.

This is true for me, if Sir is sucking cock, He'll still find a way to torment me. ha!
It's just another part of play that can make a scene epic. That's all, in no way do I see or feel Him being less than the Dom He is. Besides, that cock he's sucking is His anyhow.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/17/2009 12:32:12 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		Heh, seeing as I'm male and straight, I'm not in a position to be giving blowjobs one way or the other. I do, however, very much enjoy oral (giving and receiving both). My own perspective on the whole, "Can a dom do xxxx and still be domly" debate is that this is a question that is asked by people who don't really understand what it means to be dominant so they look for surface symbols, not underlying reality. Carol and I discussed this at length when the whole "Can a dom worship his sub's feet" thread came up. Despite my probing, she couldn't think of anything in that realm that would change her opinion of my domliness. I'd have to start making actual fuckups as her leader in order for that to occur.

Put another way, if I had a sub who started telling me what I can and cannot do, I'd have more questions about her submissiveness than my dominance.

Either that or I've got it all wrong and being a dom is hard as hell because there are about 10 billion things you must not do in order to retain your domliness.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/17/2009 12:40:03 AM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

Carol and I discussed this at length when the whole "Can a dom worship his sub's feet" thread came up.

*Shudder* You brought up "The Thread that Cannot be Named"... shame on you.





_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/17/2009 5:12:50 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

My own perspective on the whole, "Can a dom do xxxx and still be domly" debate is that this is a question that is asked by people who don't really understand what it means to be dominant so they look for surface symbols, not underlying reality

Since I am the one who asked the question, I assure you that I do understand what it means to be dominant. My understanding of it is most certainly not based on any surface symbols of any kind. My feet are planted firmly in reality.
 
MoGa

_____________________________





(in reply to WyldHrt)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/17/2009 6:34:22 AM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline 		MoGa, I think leadership's words could easily (and, probably, mostly) apply to submissives who don't fully understand the concepts of dominance and control, however those concepts might manifest themselves (blow job, foot worship, etc.). I didn't get the sense that his words were directed solely to dominants, nor to any particular dominant or submissive.

(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/17/2009 8:51:33 AM   
frankieboy52


Posts: 91
Joined: 4/29/2009
Status: offline 		Boy there is an awful lot of cocksuckers in here!!!!!...no offense ok???

(in reply to Venatrix)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/17/2009 9:28:51 AM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: frankieboy52

Boy there is an awful lot of cocksuckers in here!!!!!...no offense ok???


That's because there are a lot of dicks "out there."

(in reply to frankieboy52)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/17/2009 10:16:06 AM   
GYPSYMAMBO


Posts: 660
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: frankieboy52

Boy there is an awful lot of cocksuckers in here!!!!!...no offense ok???

 
yes! and we're not "two bit.."
GM

_____________________________

"Better served women will better serve the world"

** ** **

"A turd is still a turd even if it is shellaced!"

(in reply to frankieboy52)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/18/2009 12:50:10 AM   
darkfootsteps


Posts: 29
Joined: 3/8/2008
Status: offline 		well I dont know about other men, but for me its easier to give than receive, and when a woman blows me, in my mind I i have to submit all my control, let all my walls down so she can do that..in fact in that moment im submitting all of me....anyone with views on that id love to learn more..

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/18/2009 6:23:08 AM   
LadyLou


Posts: 110
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Do you believe that by sucking your subs cock, you are somehow submitting to him?


No. I'm the dominant in my relationship with my slave, this is our orientation. Nothing I do physically to him, or that he does physically to me determines my orientation or standing in the relationship; our physical expressions are byproducts of our roles in our relationship, not the cause.


To suggest BJ's (or any physical act) are inherently submissive (or dominant) is absurd in my eyes. BJ's can be an act of dominance, submission, neutrality, love, lust, being drunk, stress release etc (or any combination of the previous) depending on the context of the situation and/or relationship.


I've only read some of the replies, but I'm already seeing the 'I love giving blowjobs, but I'll throw in a bit of CBT/kink/pain/positioning etc just to qualify my dommeliness'. Each to their own, I know for a lot of people, dom/sub relationships are entirely physical, or peoples perception of their dom/subness stems purely from a physical act, and that's cool, as I say, each to their own. But for me, I find this quite sad, and I get the feeling sometimes it's done as a qualifier; and I can't relate to that at all - I'm a dominant who happens enjoys kink, not a dominatrix. My dominance isn't wrapped up purely in a physical act. If I was encountering a relationship where I had to do something 'kinky' for some dude to perceive me as dominant, that relationship wouldn't get beyond a cup of coffee.


I like giving blowjobs, I like the way my slaves cock feels in my mouth, I like playing with my property. I do not feel for one minute I have to cause some sort of physical pain just to assert my dominance. I may choose to, but that is because of my whim. I like giving a plain old vanilla blowjob, no kink, no CBT; me giving a vanilla BJ to my slave is a dominant act in the confines and context of my relationship with my slave.

< Message edited by LadyLou -- 12/18/2009 6:24:00 AM >

(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/18/2009 6:46:12 AM   
Lucienne


Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLou
To suggest BJ's (or any physical act) are inherently submissive (or dominant) is absurd in my eyes.


I agree on BJs and most other physical acts, but come on... face fucking?

(in reply to LadyLou)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/18/2009 7:14:16 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline 		Fast reply~~
 
When I suck cock, it has nothing to do with qualifying my status over him. If I choose to include cbt or any other kink, it is because *I* choose. Ready for a nice little surprise? I have dropped to my knees and given head to my sub. Oh yes I have. I have done it out of passion and my desire to do it NOW and not wait til we are settled. Does that take away any dominance I have over him? Absolutely not. Does he view me any less than as his Mistress? Absolutely not. Do either one of us care at that point who is the D and who is the s in our relationship? No. We love each other, I want to make him happy, it makes me happy to make him happy. It pleases me to be the reason for his smile each day, just as much as it pleases him to be the reason I am smiling all the time. Our relationship is well rounded and healthy. It works for us and really, isn't that the only thing that matters?
 
The reason I asked the question I did in the OP, is because I have read so many Domina's posts that state that they don't give their subs blowjobs because it is not their job to make them happy, it is the subs job to make the Domina happy. Y'all have seen the posts, you know what I am talking about. I don't suscribe to any of that bullshit. I want to please my boy as much as he pleases me and if that is seen as a weakness in somebody elses view, so be it.
 
MoGa

_____________________________





(in reply to Lucienne)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/18/2009 7:22:32 AM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

If submissives/bottoms want to answer this, my question for you is this. What are your feelings about your Mistress giving you a blowjob? Does it show weakness on her part in your mind at all?



All I can say is, when Sir had me tied down on the bed and started giving me oral, He blew my mind with His awesome Dominance.  He was in complete control and we both knew it.  At that point I was a pool of submissive jelly.  I knew Who was the Boss, and it wasn't me!  

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/18/2009 7:29:53 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Point of info - what do we mean by 'face fucking' here?  Is that where she rides his face, or where he shandies onto hers?

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to Lucienne)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/18/2009 7:38:46 AM   
Drifa


Posts: 547
Joined: 7/27/2007
From: Rural Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt
As a sub, when I'm blowing a Dom, he's in control. If he wants things faster, slower, harder, softer, whatever, he says so and I obey.


When a dominant has their hands clenched in my hair and is driving the activity it's submissive, for me. And (/fans self) to be placed on a bed face-up, hanging your head over the side, and have to perform fellatio, that's completely submissive (and a form of breath play in some cases).  HOWEVER, it doesn't matter if I am on top and the receiver is hogtied, it's still submissive when I am doing a blow job because I'm performing service and I don't FEEL dominant doing it.

By the same token, dominance is all about who the domme is and how THEY feel inside. So if they're doing a BJ, they're calling the shots.

I really think this whole discussion is due to a long human history of rape as social control, and remember that rape was applied to defeated warriors as well as women as a means of humiliation and dominance. If you examine Viking Age Scandinavian laws, for example, it quickly becomes apparent that no one considered a man taking the active penetrative role as gay or unmanly, but man or woman in the sexually receptive role was considered "lesser" and a man came in for some very nasty associations for taking cock in any fashion (the same word does double-duty for both "man receptive to penetrative sex" and "coward, traitor").  Even today we find that in Africa Mugabe's forces were raping as a definite means of social control to ensure voting results came out as desired.

Acculturated beliefs tend to lag social practice by a bit. Our culture still sees being penetrated by a  cock in any way as making you "lesser", even though it's clear from the posts here that a lot of people experience doing a BJ as an act of power and dominance. It will be interesting to see how long it takes the knee-jerk emotional response to the act to catch up with what is a very real practice.

(in reply to WyldHrt)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/18/2009 7:43:39 AM   
Lucienne


Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Point of info - what do we mean by 'face fucking' here?  Is that where she rides his face, or where he shandies onto hers?


I would think in either situation the receiver of the action is in a physical position of submission.

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/18/2009 7:59:51 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		I've pressured  a partner to ride my face before.  It hasn't felt much like submission for me.  A fraction of the fun.  Perhaps it would have felt more like it if she'd not looked so much like she was doing it for me rather than her. 

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to Lucienne)
Profile   Post #: 80
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094