RE: Is it right for daughters

RE: Is it right for daughters (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress

Message

DommeMae -> RE: Is it right for daughters (12/26/2009 6:36:13 PM)
She tells them men need to be harnessed and used for their advancement and happiness in life. We don't have the whole story on all that she's explaining, but based on what the op relied, I see no harm in telling her kids in her opinion, she feels a man should be harnessed and used for her happiness. Where's the damage in telling them that? Plenty of men, vanilla and subs, etc.. work hard for their wives, g.f's or families' happiness and advancement. That doesn't mean she's telling them he's worthless. I personally see a lot of worth in a man who does these things. She may too. There's no harm in that belief whatsoever, unless she is saying he's worthless or unless she's telling them her way is the only way and that everyone should agree with her philosophy and if they don't there's something wrong with them. But we can't draw that conclusion just because she feels men's job is to work hard for her and her happiness. What exactly is the nature of the discipline? Is it scolding? Is it physical assaults? What's wrong with disciplining? If she's scolding him, where's the harm in that? Is that going to make her kids grow up to be bullies? Not necessarily. I wouldn't condone him being physically assaulted, but we don't know if that's really what she's doing. What's kinky about having a special bowl, kissing a foot, or living under matriarchal / Goddess philosophies/ Wiccan religions, etc? You can put a sexual twist in these realities, ... or not. There's nothing sexual about anything the op writes about. Can there be sex in foot kissing, or having special plates? Sure, but it doesn't have to be anything about sex and kink.

LafayetteLady -> RE: Is it right for daughters (12/26/2009 7:46:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DommeMae She tells them men need to be harnessed and used for their advancement and happiness in life. We don't have the whole story on all that she's explaining, but based on what the op relied, I see no harm in telling her kids in her opinion, she feels a man should be harnessed and used for her happiness. Where's the damage in telling them that? Plenty of men, vanilla and subs, etc.. work hard for their wives, g.f's or families' happiness and advancement. That doesn't mean she's telling them he's worthless. I personally see a lot of worth in a man who does these things. She may too. There's no harm in that belief whatsoever, unless she is saying he's worthless or unless she's telling them her way is the only way and that everyone should agree with her philosophy and if they don't there's something wrong with them. But we can't draw that conclusion just because she feels men's job is to work hard for her and her happiness. What exactly is the nature of the discipline? Is it scolding? Is it physical assaults? What's wrong with disciplining? If she's scolding him, where's the harm in that? Is that going to make her kids grow up to be bullies? Not necessarily. I wouldn't condone him being physically assaulted, but we don't know if that's really what she's doing. What's kinky about having a special bowl, kissing a foot, or living under matriarchal / Goddess philosophies/ Wiccan religions, etc? You can put a sexual twist in these realities, ... or not. There's nothing sexual about anything the op writes about. Can there be sex in foot kissing, or having special plates? Sure, but it doesn't have to be anything about sex and kink. The implication of "eating out of a slave dish" is that it is either on the floor or that he doesn't get utensils or whatever. Yes it is inappropriate for a child to see a human being eating off the floor like a dog. It is inappropriate for a child to hear "discipline" of any kind. Does it mean that they will become "bullies?" That depends on your definition. It is likely going to teach them that it is their "right" to tell people what to do, and it is not likely that, as children growing up seeing this, they will be able to differentiate when it may or may not be appropriate. It is not appropriate for a child to see or hear one parent discipline the other. Where is the harm in telling a child that one sex (because gender really doesn't matter here) should be harnessed for the other's benefit and happiness? Gee, where should I start? There is a huge difference between the spouse who works hard so that his family can have the finer things in life and the partner who thinks it is the "role" of a particular sex to wait on them and serve them. Nothing wrong with a couple making that decision between each other. Totally wrong to teach someone that is how the world works. Again, Wicca do not teach that men are objects to be used. Matriarchal societies don't either. This isn't about the fact that it is a woman telling a man that. If it were a man telling his sons and daughters the same thing, I would still find it grossly inappropriate parenting. A father telling his son women are just objects for him to stick his dick in? Or they exist to wait on men and make them happy? Telling your daughter that her purpose in life is to serve men and possibly eat out of a slave dish? The bottom line is that regardless of what the adults' personal choices are, parents have an obligation to teach their children how the world actually works so they can survive in it. If you can't do that, aren't willing to do that, then don't have children.

DommeMae -> RE: Is it right for daughters (12/26/2009 8:25:46 PM)
You're making assumptions on the special bowl. How do you know he's eating off the floor? Please enlighten me, maybe I missed that. If so, I am in agreement with you on that ONE thing. If not, what's the harm in having a special bowl? Does that equate to her telling them he's worthless or low? No. Maybe she tells them it's his special bowl because he's a special helper. Having one's own eatery isn't that far off, again maybe they each have their own towels, bathrooms, body washes, that they don't share with anyone else in the house. Where's the harm in him having his own special bowl? Where is the bowl? What does she call it? What's her explanation? I don't know and neither do you. You're taking away as assumption that she's calling him worthless and low based on a bowl. We don't know if she's telling them he's worthless and low. Kissing a foot, working for the happiness of her, having a special bowl to eat from, doing the cooking and cleaning, kissing her foot are non-threatening, non-destructive, non-harming acts if done in a non-sexual way and in a way which demonstrates love, respect, appreciation. You can say she's teaching them he's worthless based on these things, but you don't really know she is. She could be telling them the opposite, that he's very valuable to her, special and helpful. No, I think you need to be a little more open-minded and stop seeing things so narrowly and negatively. Can't you be more open and admit there's more than one way of looking at this situation? The possibilities are infinite. We don't know what the discipline entails. We don't know if its gentle verbal discipline, or if it's yelling and threats, or if it's physical abuse. We simply don't have enough information yet. And I disagree that "it's inappropriate for children to hear discipline because they'll grow up thinking it's their right to tell people what to do." We heard my father scold my mother and none of us felt we had to model our father's behavior. None of us grew up thinking it's our right to tell people what to do. Some boys grow up watching their father bully their mother with physical abuse and verbal threats, but we can't say for certain those boys are going to grow up and model the same behavior. So what if she's telling them it's his job to wait on her. Where's the harm in that? Does that mean they're grow up not learning how to take care of themselves? No. Does that mean they're grow up thinking all men must serve them? No. How do you know she's telling them that her way is the only way and that everyone in the world lives that way? It would be unwise of her to teach them her way is the only way. But again, we don't know what the rest of her teachings are. How do you know she's calling him an "object" just because he has his own bowl, does the cooking and cleaning, or sits at her feet? Maybe she's calling him an attentive, and special man. What do you feel about poly households? Is that necessarily going to make their kids promiscuous, or teach them pair bonding is wrong? Of course not, it will only show them another way to live.

Lockit -> RE: Is it right for daughters (12/26/2009 8:43:25 PM)
[sm=Groaner.gif] If the op questioned whether it was right to do this in front of the kids and around the kids... I would ASSUME... there was something that he saw or was a part of that concerned him, which would lead others to assume... project... wonder about what was going on according to what he said and was concerned about and then have an opinion or share their thoughts on it. No need to get anal about the details of it all. They are opinions. We no more know the details than you do with your argument, but we are going more on what the op said and questioned... in my opinion. lol What is apparent is that the relationship didn't work out and the kids might get the message that... sometimes... treating a man like that makes him go away. Slave bowl, disipline, all chores... whatever... quote: ORIGINAL: beowulf1234 My former Mistress of whom I served on a 24\7 basis was also going to be my wife. She has 2 daughters one 20 years of age and the other 15 years old. She tries instill in them about Female led relationships. She tells them men need to be harnessed and used for their advancement and happiness in life. This was reinforced by my service and submission. They were never exposed to kink. But they did see me kneel, remove her shoes and kiss her feet when she came home.They viewed me eating out of my slave dish. I did all the cleaning, cooking, the wash and any and all domestics for the entire family. They hear her discipline me but also see how it is for the male to make life easier for a Woman. All chores are non existant to them. When we're all together watching tv, I always sit at her feet. She explained that I would be taking her lastname instead of the opposite. I never posed an opinion of this but I always wondered if it were wrong. I would appreciate some feedback

allthatjaz -> RE: Is it right for daughters (12/27/2009 1:56:42 AM)
I agree with Lockit. This guy was obviously concerned enough to walk away and he is still questioning what the hell she was doing. I know of at least one mother/Mistress on the scene that has lived the lifestyle in inapropriate ways in front of her children and the result was that social services eventually removed those children. From what I read from the op, this woman's behavior was very similar to the woman I know. Odd behavior from parents does cause unhappiness in children. A child wants and needs to fit into society with 'run of the mill' parents. Normal could mean living on a hippie commune or growing up in a gypsy camp. The child spends half of his/her life with his pier group and its vital that, that child doesn't stand out as the one that comes from 'that funny family'. Children are very cruel and unforgiving and if they spot something 'un-normal' in a friends house then they will make that child's life hell.

DommeMae -> RE: Is it right for daughters (12/27/2009 8:31:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit teaching them they are better to enable those 'goddess's of mankind'.... teaching either gender that the other is lower... creates a situation where they depend on other's for some very basic life requirements ..... Teaching that they are not required to learn to clean and cook and do for themselves .... I was trying to create a route to less narrow minded, over-simplistic and stifling thinking by offering other possible explanations. No one knows the full details of what she's telling the kids so why would you accuse her of telling the kids he's worthless or low? It would help if we knew what explanation she gave for his separate bowl. It's possible she tells them the bowl is a special bowl because he's a special person. She may not call it a slave bowl or even have him eat from the floor in front of them, as others suggested. We don't know enough to say that. The OP left out a lot of information. But I'm not going to automatically assume she's telling the kids he's worthless or low. It's not all that uncommon for housemates to have their own separate items, likes towels, bathrooms, body washes. As far as feet kissing, again I ask -where's the sex in that? We don't know if was slimy suckling and sucking, or just a quick peck to the foot, in which case, I see nothing sexual or harmful about it. Though, if she tells the kids that every man should kiss a woman's feet, that wouldn't be wise at all. But she may not. She may tell them that's something only they share together. Regardless, I doubt they'll grow up demanding kisses to their feet from all men. As far as raising them in a female-led household? There's nothing harmful in raising children in a home under doctrines of Goddess worship such as Shaktism/Dianic Wicca religions for instance, or any other matriarchal systems which focus on the female as being the more valuable sex, the source of all living things. Teaching children that women are the more valuable sex does not have to translate to teachings that spew hateful metamessages that men are worthless and low. We really don't know if the mother in the op home is telling her children men are worthless and low. She could perhaps live under a matriarchal philosophy or Wicca religion which, though finds value in both sexes, sees the female as the more valuable sex. Does that have to mean she's saying men aren't valuable or needed? Certainly not. Nothing wrong with him doing all the chores either. Doesn't have to involve sex or kink. Perhaps it's just a harmless role reversal. It's not guaranteed they'll grow up "depending on other people for their life requirements", as you mentioned. Think of kids who grew up with butlers who haven't grown up dependent. Maybe she's teaching them to do housework too, while at the same time having the convenience of his houseworking. It would be nice if we get the opportunity to learn exactly how she conducts her home and what exactly she tells the house members. I wouldn't want to deny the validity of a way different than my own, especially when I don't have enough facts.

kiwisub12 -> RE: Is it right for daughters (12/27/2009 9:00:40 AM)
I think you are being deliberately obtuse. Yes, you are right. There is nothing inherently evil about any of the things described - but, the OP had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach, that would seem to indicate that he felt that what was going on was not to the childrens best interest. And , to me, if one of the participants felt it wasn't right, then very probably , in that one instance, what he was describing , was not good for the kids. What i see when i read the OP's post, was a complete lack of personal culpability. It was as if he had abrogated all responsibility for his actions to his domme. If he thought it was wrong then it was incumbant upon him to do something about it. And if it wasn't part of the dynamic to discuss such issues, then, as a decent human being, he needed to do something else - such as leave - and make sure the domme knew exactly why. Apparently, he did actually leave, but it is unclear how long he was in said relationship, and under what circumstances he left - but i get the feeling that the kid circumstances was the reason he left. Hm, shame.

Lockit -> RE: Is it right for daughters (12/27/2009 9:19:54 AM)
DommeMae... implying that my thinking is narrow minded, over simplistic and stiffling and then accusing me of having a problem with a man kissing his dominant's feet and bring up points I didn't highlight is about as bold as a bull in a china shop. If you are going to climb my ass about something... make it something I really said. How many children have you had or worked with successfully? How many parenting classes have you taught? I can be a bit harsh on the topic of parenting skills as I have had to work with children on their issues along with counslers and others. And worked with adults later on with childhood issues. I have held them through their nightmares, talked them throught their suicidal times and tried to give them tools to work with to combat poor parenting. I come by my attitude from experience. No... I am not a doctor and no I don't claim to be... but I was out there doing what could be done to help where others failed. It is no laughing matter and it is no simplistic thing and I would rather error on the side of caution when it comes to the damage of another person, especially a child. I will not get into research to prove there is data that proves where I stand. My opinions will just have to stand as they are because quite frankly I think you are arguing to prove a point and forgetting about the children that could be harmed and denying that they could be harmed. If you cannot see that failing to teach children to have good life skills and work ethic's is a bad thing and teaching that one gender should be harnessed and used is also a bad thing... all things the op stated was happening... then it is not I who is the fool here. And with that... my part in this little argument is over. Yes, I have narrow mindedly summed it up and you in all your superior minded thought processes will just have to sum me up as well. I really don't care what you think.

CarrieO -> RE: Is it right for daughters (12/27/2009 9:30:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DommeMae I was trying to create a route to less narrow minded, over-simplistic and stifling thinking by offering other possible explanations. While this may be true, I'm left to wonder why you feel the need to do this. Do you really think the people who chose to post here are unable to be open to other ways of thinking? You're new, you may want to do a little background research on how people post before judging them. If you go back to the OP's original post, you'll see he ended it with quote: ORIGINAL: beowulf1234 I would appreciate some feedback I interpreted this to mean... "The return of information about the result of a process or activity; an evaluative response: asked the students for feedback on the new curriculum." taken from Answers.com This is what people have been giving...their feedback. Some you may agree with, some you may not. It doesn't matter because there's no right or wrong answer just opinions...feedback. Instead of offering your opinion while maintaining an open mind to others, you've chosen your own "narrow path". Welcome to the boards...enjoy your stay.

DommeMae -> RE: Is it right for daughters (12/27/2009 10:44:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CarrieO Instead of offering your opinion while maintaining an open mind to others, you've chosen your own "narrow path". If saying we haven't enough information yet to say what she's actually doing, or that she's actually damaging the kids is a "narrow-path", may someone please unleash a turd-canon on me now. I'm not being closed minded, on the contrary, I offered alternative ways of assessing the OP's home situation, and labeled them as suggestions. quote: ORIGINAL: CarrieO Welcome to the boards...enjoy your stay. I'll take your comment as face value - thank you for the welcome.

LadyPact -> RE: Is it right for daughters (12/27/2009 10:45:11 AM)
Sometimes, a little research goes a long way. For those who want to sing the chorus of 'be open minded' it really should be mentioned that the OP in his own profile refers to himself as being treated as a dog for the superior gender. That implies that we aren't talking about a 'special bowl' but more likely one that was placed on the floor. For the record, that's a lot different than members of the same household preferring their own towel or body wash. As to the "discipline" mentioned, may I direct your attention to another post by the same OP on another thread that described more fully exactly what that consisted of: I need some advise. Please! I am a man that has taken formal instructions and classes on slave training. My former owner had me train with a Master in conjunction with Abany Power Exchange, Tess and the Crucible in DC. After completing courses to her liking I was collared and provided 24\7 service. She was a sadist and would beat me at whim. I as her slave would take it gladly. I realize I am property and freely relinqueshed myself to her. I would cook, launder, clean the home, food shop, and be a servant at all her social functions at her residence. Sexually and with the Fetishes she enjoyed I would perform them without boundries. I would do whatever and however Mistress desires. We were exclusive so I was trained pamper, pleasure, and please. The problem was the beatings were becoming more severe and more often. She constantly accused me of looking and wanting other women. She came at me with a small bat and hit me in my arms and legs. I dropped to me knees in cow-tow position. Then she stopped. When I got up she bit me on the shoulder and said she left me her mark. I blead for an hour. I decided that this is not Femdom, but abuse. This is why I am here on collarme. Can I have some opinions and advise? I don't mind a beating but Shouldn't be for good reason or training purposes? Call Me closed minded if you want to, but that's not what anyone under legal age of adulthood should be hearing.

DommeMae -> RE: Is it right for daughters (12/27/2009 10:47:26 AM)
What's my point you ask? That we don't know enough to say the children are being harmed with what little information the op provided. There are infinite possibilities here we should consider. There's always two sides. quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit ..in all your superior minded thought processes Uh, okay, thank you? You've resorted to attacking me and not my arquement. But, I'm glad you think my mind is superior. I guess. quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit I think you are arguing to prove a point and forgetting about the children.. Really? The entire vein of this thread is about the children. Everything I've written focuses on the children. You missed what I wrote, so I'll spell it out for you so you can see I'm not forgetting about the children. 1. foot kissing - if she tells them all men should kiss women's feet, I will admit that's irresponsible. If he does it in a sexual way, sucking and licking and groaning, that's also irresponsible. It could be a quick peck, done in an admiration sort of way, and explained that it's an act she shares with him only. 2. Special bowl - if he eats it off the floor, that's irresponsible. If she tells him it's a slave bowl because he's unworthy - that's also irresponsible. But, she could tell them it's a special bowl for a special man. See, I'm taking into account the children in every point I've brought up. 3. Female-led household - if she tells them men are worthless and low, that's irresponsible. Maybe she's telling them they are very valuable. 4. Discipline - is she beating him? I would find this irresponsible. Or is she gently scolding him? We don't know. quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit If you cannot see that failing to teach children to have good life skills and work ethic's and teaching that one gender should be harnessed and used... all things the op stated was happening... then it is not I who is the fool here. And you, based on the information, don't know if she's teaching them good skills or not, says the "fool" with "superior minded thought processes". quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit Yes, I have narrow mindedly summed it up and you in all your superior minded thought processes will just have to sum me up as well. I really don't care what you think. You're just beaming with intellectual integrity, now aren't you? quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit I can be a bit harsh on the topic of parenting skills as I have had to work with children on their issues along with counslers and others. Then you should know when to really worry about kids' safety. You're saying she's damaging the kids but you really don't know enough yet to say so. You have only the OP's side, which is as you can see, lacking the full story.

LadyPact -> RE: Is it right for daughters (12/27/2009 10:59:53 AM)
Actually, we do know. I posted it for you in the above. Enjoy your day.

Aswad -> RE: Is it right for daughters (12/27/2009 11:05:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: servantforuse I can see the 15 year old telling her friends, and her friends telling their parents, and those parents getting social services or the police involved. I'm actually suprised like that didn't happen. "reactions that will entail from the host culture" ... I don't know how things work over there, but around these parts, merely being open about an alternative relationship isn't grounds to take the kids from anyone. Sure, society will seek to traumatize the kids as much as possible, and may succeed if you're unable to deal with such attacks, but that goes for any non-conforming lifestyle. Health, al-Aswad.

frizzle -> RE: Is it right for daughters (12/27/2009 11:42:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Enjoy your day. I'll take your comment as face value too. Thank you, same to you. quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact we do know Where does he say the children witnessed these severe beatings? Maybe they only heard the times she scolded him gently and she kept the harsh beatings to days the kids weren't there. If he was disciplined with violence, that's irresponsible and destructive and I don't condone it for a minute. This thread isn't just about beatings, anyway. It's about foot kissing, special bowls, housework, and female-led house styles, etc, all which don't have to equate to kink, sex, hatred or harmful examples to kids. Neither does it equate to her not teaching them life skills, or that she's teaching them men are worthless or that her way is the only way.

Lockit -> RE: Is it right for daughters (12/27/2009 11:52:13 AM)
Reading comprehension isn't done so well around here! lol A female led relationship isn't a problem around children. Certain other things from this thread and other posts of the op... as Lady Pact pointed out... and things in this op very well could be a problem.

CarrieO -> RE: Is it right for daughters (12/27/2009 12:20:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DommeMae quote: ORIGINAL: CarrieO Welcome to the boards...enjoy your stay. I'll take your comment as face value - thank you for the welcome. It was meant to be taken as such, as were my other words. The thing I've learned from my time here on the boards is that sometimes a bit of background research is necessary before a response is made. I don't always take one post to be the sum total of a person. I take the time to look at their profile or other posts they've made to get a feel for who they are. Our OP has previous posting history which, just as LadyPact said, could have been relavent to how his current post would be responded to. While many of the points you raised were valid, perhaps it was the attacking manner they were delivered (by that I mean the overly bold font that could be taken as aggressive and in-your-face) that was off-putting to some. You are correct in that, given we only have one side of the story, assumptions have been made. However, in reviewing the original post and the OP's previous postings, I have a feeling there was good reason for him to want feedback in regards to whether or not others felt the behavior he saw and took part in was inappropriate in some way around a minor.

LafayetteLady -> RE: Is it right for daughters (12/27/2009 12:39:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DommeMae What's my point you ask? That we don't know enough to say the children are being harmed with what little information the op provided. There are infinite possibilities here we should consider. There's always two sides. Of course there are always two sides. Like if a woman says that her husband beats her and she asks us if it is her fault. We don't know if the husband's side is, "well she doesn't do what I say, so I have to beat her to make my point." Two sides, same story, same opinion. What the husband is doing is wrong. quote: 1. foot kissing - if she tells them all men should kiss women's feet, I will admit that's irresponsible. If he does it in a sexual way, sucking and licking and groaning, that's also irresponsible. It could be a quick peck, done in an admiration sort of way, and explained that it's an act she shares with him only. Likewise I guess if he was required to give her a quick peck on the ass, in admiration, as long as she doesn't tell the children he should be kissing everyone else's ass, it's ok. quote: 2. Special bowl - if he eats it off the floor, that's irresponsible. If she tells him it's a slave bowl because he's unworthy - that's also irresponsible. But, she could tell them it's a special bowl for a special man. See, I'm taking into account the children in every point I've brought up. Actually, you are inserting your own terms to support your argument. No where does the OP say they see him eating out of his "special bowl," he is specific, they see him eating out of his "slave bowl." You are hell bent on defending this woman's actions for reasons unknown. Do you really think that he would have mentioned anything about it if he was sitting at the table and just had a particular dish that he always ate out of? quote: 3. Female-led household - if she tells them men are worthless and low, that's irresponsible. Maybe she's telling them they are very valuable. YOU are very hung up on the issue of "female-led household," even though it is has been made clear throughout this thread that regardless of the gender of each, the activities in themselves would be wrong in front of the children. quote: 4. Discipline - is she beating him? I would find this irresponsible. Or is she gently scolding him? We don't know. Again, do you really think he meant that she was "gently scolding him?" Are you so focused on giving the benefit of the doubt or so naive that you would actually believe this was the case? Especially after LadyPact so clearly pointed out issues from the OP's previous posts that give a better understanding of the whole picture? You see for many people here, when someone posts, we don't just zip off a response. We look at the person's profile, perhaps read one or two of their other posts to get a clearer idea the "whole picture." quote: Then you should know when to really worry about kids' safety. You're saying she's damaging the kids but you really don't know enough yet to say so. You have only the OP's side, which is as you can see, lacking the full story. I'm going to make another assumption gasp Based on your need to prove that she isn't damaging the kids, you are in one of two situations. You either don't have children and so are really not knowledgeable about the responsibilities of being a parent OR you actually do have children and see too much of yourself in the OP's description of his mistress and need to alleviate your own guilt with your own failings as a parent. quote: And I disagree that "it's inappropriate for children to hear discipline because they'll grow up thinking it's their right to tell people what to do." We heard my father scold my mother and none of us felt we had to model our father's behavior. None of us grew up thinking it's our right to tell people what to do. Some boys grow up watching their father bully their mother with physical abuse and verbal threats, but we can't say for certain those boys are going to grow up and model the same behavior. Actually, we can say that. Statistics have clearly and irrefutably shown that children who grow up seeing one spouse abuse the other are very likely to grow up to abuse or be abused by their spouse. I can even FACTUALLY go one step further with that. The FACT that you saw your father "scold" your mother is part of what led you to your beliefs on "Goddess" worship and female-led households. You so disliked your father's behavior that you went to the other end of the spectrum and decided that men would not only never scold you, but they should worship you. quote: There's nothing harmful in raising children in a home under doctrines of Goddess worship such as Shaktism/Dianic Wicca religions for instance, or any other matriarchal systems which focus on the female as being the more valuable sex, the source of all living things. As mentioned before while Shaktism is part of the Hindu religion and focuses on worship of the Goddess but does not teach that woman in her human form is a goddess rather "There is no Shiva without Shakti, or Shakti without Shiva. The two [...] in themselves are One." Likewise with Dianic Wiccans, while they worship the Goddess, that Goddess is not in human form in women, merely the deity that they worship. In other words, your continued reference to these religions have no actual bearing on the subject at hand. While you chastise everyone here for making the not so tremendous leap that based on the OP's statements, the children in that household are witnessing things they shouldn't, YOU make the very giant leap that she might be practicing a religion that worships Goddesses. She very well may be, but I would ask you to find ONE item in ANY of those religions that would indicate those theologies condone "slave dishes" or disciplining men. Of course it is rhetorical because it doesn't exist.

DommeMae -> RE: Is it right for daughters (12/27/2009 3:43:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady Statistics have clearly and irrefutably shown that children who grow up seeing one spouse abuse the other are very likely to grow up to abuse or be abused by their spouse. Not every child, of course. Myself and my siblings haven't. quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady The FACT that you saw your father "scold" your mother is part of what led you to your beliefs on "Goddess" worship and female-led households. You so disliked your father's behavior that you went to the other end of the spectrum and decided that men would not only never scold you, but they should worship you. You're making assumptions again. Why don't you ask me for my opinion on female-led relationships or if I even practice it or not instead of speaking for me. You don't know anything about me or how I live my life. You're making assumptions without anything to back it up. quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady I'm going to make another assumption gasp Based on your need to prove that she isn't damaging the kids, you are in one of two situations. You either don't have children and so are really not knowledgeable about the responsibilities of being a parent OR you actually do have children and see too much of yourself in the OP's description of his mistress and need to alleviate your own guilt with your own failings as a parent. Careful now, you're making more assumptions. My situation doesn't have to apply to any of your limited two situations above for me to know there's more than one way of viewing the OP's situation. Until we have more facts, we don't know if the children are being damaged by a housemaid, a foot kiss, a special bowl for the server, or his discipline. You nor I have enough facts yet, and that's just my point. quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady Again, do you really think he meant that she was "gently scolding him?" Are you so focused on giving the benefit of the doubt or so naive that you would actually believe this was the case? Especially after LadyPact so clearly pointed out issues from the OP's previous posts that give a better understanding of the whole picture? Again, do you really have to assume it's physical assaults for sure? Are you so focused on thinking the worst in people or are you so judgmental and narrow-minded that you think you know precisely what is going on in someone else's home? Ladypact's post didn't show where he said he was disciplined in front of kids. If he did, I find that irresponsible and destructive, as I've stated a number of times already. quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady You see for many people here, when someone posts, we don't just zip off a response. We look at the person's profile, perhaps read one or two of their other posts to get a clearer idea the "whole picture." Frankly, you seem full of accusations with no evidence, except for your own assumptions. quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady YOU are very hung up on the issue of "female-led household," even though it is has been made clear throughout this thread that regardless of the gender of each, the activities in themselves would be wrong in front of the children. Careful now, you're making more assumptions again. YOU have no idea if I'm hung up on something or not. I'm not hung up on anything, you just don't like what I'm saying because I'm talking about the possibility of there being more than one way to look at this situation. quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady Actually, you are inserting your own terms to support your argument. No where does the OP say they see him eating out of his "special bowl," he is specific, they see him eating out of his "slave bowl." You're inserting your own terms here to support your argument, no where does the op say the mother puts it on the floor or that she calls it a "slave" bowl. She very well could call it a special bowl for a special man, whether you like it or not. quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady You are hell bent on defending this woman's actions for reasons unknown. Careful now, you're making more assumptions again. You don't know if I'm hell bent or not. I could easily turn that statement around on you and call you hell bent for condemning a woman and her way of life as destructive to kids, without having very much information to go by. But I can't tell if you're hell bent or not. quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady Do you really think that he would have mentioned anything about it if he was sitting at the table and just had a particular dish that he always ate out of? Who knows. He could have a special bowl, that is called a special bowl, that sits right on the table. We don't know. Personally I think the op is making this entire story up. quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady While you chastise everyone here for making the not so tremendous leap that based on the OP's statements, the children in that household are witnessing things they shouldn't,.. Are you being too sensitive or defensive? Too emotional? I haven't chastised anyone specifically. You see it like that because you don't like my argument, or what seems like any other alternative perspectives that differs from yours. quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady YOU make the very giant leap that she might be practicing a religion that worships Goddesses. She could be. You don't know if she is or isn't. Do you? "As mentioned before", there's nothing wrong with raising kids in a Goddess or matricarchical house. Even if she does use a slave bowl, or disciplines him, that doesn't exclude her from doing so, either, just because you say it does.

Lockit -> RE: Is it right for daughters (12/27/2009 3:52:14 PM)
http://www.collarchat.com/m_2870675/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#2870675 I wonder where the kids are when the bat is being taken to him? I wonder about them hearing it... means they must be close. Case closed.

Page: << < prev 2 3 [4] 5 6 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.0625