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New to this but curious about something... - 12/19/2009 6:14:24 PM   
ocongalieghsgirl


Posts: 4
Joined: 12/13/2009
Status: offline 		When one gets collared...does their Master/Dom purchase the collar? 
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RE: New to this but curious about something... - 12/19/2009 8:01:04 PM   
hisdarlinsweetie


Posts: 55
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline 		Mine did.  He had it made for me.  I'm not sure what the norm is though.

(in reply to ocongalieghsgirl)
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RE: New to this but curious about something... - 12/19/2009 8:04:42 PM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		In general, the Doms/Masters/Owners i have known have bought the physical collar, if one is being used.  It is his collar, that he is placing on his sub/slave/property - and he wants to see it there as a symbol to him of his ownership of her.

i have heard of submissive women buying their own collars and presenting it to their Dom for his consideration, but i've never known anyone personally who did that. 

< Message edited by UniqueRaven -- 12/19/2009 8:05:03 PM >

(in reply to ocongalieghsgirl)
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RE: New to this but curious about something... - 12/19/2009 8:05:12 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Usually yes. Of you have been instructed to buy yourself a collar because he's working on an oil rig for the next six weeks and can't get to a store, that would be different. But if it's that he doesn't want to go to the nearest petsmart and buy a $14.95 pet collar, then I'd rethink the relationship.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to hisdarlinsweetie)
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RE: New to this but curious about something... - 12/20/2009 1:59:49 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ocongalieghsgirl

When one gets collared...does their Master/Dom purchase the collar? 



Just curious.
Was this part of a fight/discussion between you and him? ( you pay..no...you pay..thingy)
If so..bad start.

Is it was just a question out of curiosity.
Mostly the D buys it....as others said before.

(in reply to ocongalieghsgirl)
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RE: New to this but curious about something... - 12/20/2009 3:51:38 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		The M type usually buys it... and it BELONGS to them...
If they are nice about it, they will let you participate... "Oh please, the pink one with diamondettes and a little bell, please Signore!"
*giggles

And it is returned if the relationship ends.  They can use it on their next girl until they get her her own...(for me that is some seriously bad mojo... don't want a generic collar some other gal had on ... blech)

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to Justme696)
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RE: New to this but curious about something... - 12/20/2009 3:56:49 AM   
Elizabeth666


Posts: 288
Joined: 10/14/2009
Status: offline 		Sir and I compromised on mine. It's a necklace with a stainless steel charm. On the front is some design but that back was blank. He paid for the necklace, I paid for the engraving. We had "HIS" engraved on it.

_____________________________

"The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering, the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt"

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
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RE: New to this but curious about something... - 12/20/2009 6:57:58 AM   
SirJ40


Posts: 164
Joined: 12/21/2008
Status: offline 		I either purchase, or make, every one. Once a girl wears a Collar of Mine, she's likely to end up with several... babygirl has about six now? Different colors, styles, and levels of "obviousness"- some are unmistakeably kinky collars, and some look more like leather choker neckpieces.
We can then tailor the one she wears to the situation, more or less kinky, more or less vanilla, even formal.. she wore a Collar to her staff Christmas party, and got many compliments on her "choker".. we found it amusing, but also rewarding that the symbol could be present, but the stigma/political issues could be not present.
Plus, I like a simple, comfortable suede piece for general "around the house" wear and/or sleeping, but maybe something a little fancier for going out and about.
No matter what, though, they're Mine.. I pay for them, I put them on, take them off, and maintain them.


_____________________________

Make your own decisions, and own the decisions you make.

(in reply to Elizabeth666)
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RE: New to this but curious about something... - 12/20/2009 7:05:39 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		Yes, the Dom should purchase the collar. If he shoplifts it and gets caught, things could get messy.

On a serious note, I'm starting to see men wearing wedding rings (two at my workplace alone) that are made of tungsten carbide.  It's actually beautiful metal and I thought to myself that those would make a beautiful collar.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to SirJ40)
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RE: New to this but curious about something... - 12/20/2009 7:31:37 AM   
whiteslavebitch


Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline 		Mine did, I had a lot of input into what kind of collar since I have to wear it in public and at work.

_____________________________

MasterK's whiteslavebitch

formally collared 1/30/09

"I give to you my everything, you've given me these loving wings." - DMB

(in reply to ocongalieghsgirl)
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RE: New to this but curious about something... - 12/20/2009 7:34:38 AM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline 		What everyone has said so far.  The collar belongs to the Master just as the slave does.  Think of a dog/cat - they can't even buy their food, much less their clothing. LOL!  Technically, slaves have nothing...... there were (in the gay leather Old Guard days) slaves that turned over any income to the Master.  Since they were owned, their income belonged to the Master.

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

10 fluffy points
50 nz points

Member: VAA's posse

(in reply to windchymes)
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RE: New to this but curious about something... - 12/20/2009 7:43:19 AM   
ocongalieghsgirl


Posts: 4
Joined: 12/13/2009
Status: offline 		it was just a question out of curiosity...and thank you for the responses.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: New to this but curious about something... - 12/20/2009 7:53:16 AM   
JohnDoe244


Posts: 1
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ocongalieghsgirl

When one gets collared...does their Master/Dom purchase the collar? 
Depends entirely on the relationship dynamic.

As I see myself (like most Male Dominants) as a "Real Man: Bread Winner and Provider"(TM) it'd be unthinkable for me to not purchase the collar.

On the other hand, if there's an aspect of financial domination in the relationship, then it seems perfectly reasonable for the slave to pay or have it taken out of their allowance.

And by the same token in relationships that aren't 24/7 it would also be perfectly reasonable for either partner to buy the collar - it's just another sex aid. Whether the collar is a gift, a novel way of a submissive woman wanting to show her submissiveness visually or a sex toy purchased by whoever has the most disposable income that month doesn't really matter so long as it fills its purpose of increasing "fun".

Finally we come to the single gal. You don't have a master, but you're submissive. Buying your own collar (whether to put you in a submissive mood or to take kinky pictures) isn't some big taboo thing. Some Masters might be confused by it and ask "if you're single then why are you collared?" But it's a matter simply explained - and if a Master doesn't want you wearing a collar that isn't his then he'll let you know (and that's just another layer of Domination if he's forcing you NOT to wear a collar). Other Masters (especially if you're in a distance/online relationship or a "mostly vanilla - BDSM for kinky fun" relationship) will find the fact that you already own a collar to be a big turn on.

While there are established standards, protocol and etiquette for BDSM, it's important to remember that there aren't "The Scene Police" who'll kick down your door and haul you off to court because you broke the "Rules". You shouldn't be afraid of doing something wrong or doing things differently to how "those people on the internet" said was the right way to do things. The significance of a collaring is decided entirely by the dynamics of your personal M/s relationship.

< Message edited by JohnDoe244 -- 12/20/2009 7:54:44 AM >

(in reply to ocongalieghsgirl)
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RE: New to this but curious about something... - 12/20/2009 7:53:31 AM   
Roselaure


Posts: 672
Joined: 4/12/2008
Status: offline 		We were together when we got it, at a flea market where they had the type of collar we had been talking about but hadn't been able to find.  We were both excited to find it.  I honestly don't remember who paid.   "Who pays?", is not a topic of great importance to us.

_____________________________

Once conform, once do what other people do because they do it, and lethargy steals over all the finer nerves and faculties of the soul.
-Virginia Woolf

(in reply to ocongalieghsgirl)
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RE: New to this but curious about something... - 12/20/2009 8:25:53 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ocongalieghsgirl

When one gets collared...does their Master/Dom purchase the collar? 


I'd say that the standard operating procedure but there are always exceptions.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to ocongalieghsgirl)
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RE: New to this but curious about something... - 12/20/2009 10:35:33 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

there aren't "The Scene Police" who'll kick down your door and haul you off to court


Well heck, there goes that fantasy up in smoke!


_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to AquaticSub)
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RE: New to this but curious about something... - 12/20/2009 10:36:57 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiVscqYrtfM

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: New to this but curious about something... - 12/20/2009 10:37:00 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		dont subbies com prepackaged with a collar and leash?

(in reply to ocongalieghsgirl)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: New to this but curious about something... - 12/20/2009 10:56:43 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnDoe244

[

Finally we come to the single gal. You don't have a master, but you're submissive. Buying your own collar (whether to put you in a submissive mood or to take kinky pictures) isn't some big taboo thing. Some Masters might be confused by it and ask "if you're single then why are you collared?" But it's a matter simply explained - and if a Master doesn't want you wearing a collar that isn't his then he'll let you know (and that's just another layer of Domination if he's forcing you NOT to wear a collar). Other Masters (especially if you're in a distance/online relationship or a "mostly vanilla - BDSM for kinky fun" relationship) will find the fact that you already own a collar to be a big turn on.



Also, us single gals were not always single; hence, we have collars already and yes, discovering that a sub owns a collar does intrigue some men who may be unaware of your proclivities.

Sorry, screwed up the quote thing.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 12/20/2009 10:57:51 AM >

(in reply to JohnDoe244)
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RE: New to this but curious about something... - 12/20/2009 11:14:57 AM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
But if it's that he doesn't want to go to the nearest petsmart and buy a $14.95 pet collar, then I'd rethink the relationship.



Woo hoo, look who's a Bridezilla! $14.95? What, you crazy princess or somepin'?

Wal-Mart, $6.75, with coupon.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 20
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