New to this but curious about something...

New to this but curious about something... (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master

Message

ocongalieghsgirl -> New to this but curious about something... (12/19/2009 6:14:24 PM)
When one gets collared...does their Master/Dom purchase the collar?

hisdarlinsweetie -> RE: New to this but curious about something... (12/19/2009 8:01:04 PM)
Mine did. He had it made for me. I'm not sure what the norm is though.

UniqueRaven -> RE: New to this but curious about something... (12/19/2009 8:04:42 PM)
In general, the Doms/Masters/Owners i have known have bought the physical collar, if one is being used. It is his collar, that he is placing on his sub/slave/property - and he wants to see it there as a symbol to him of his ownership of her. i have heard of submissive women buying their own collars and presenting it to their Dom for his consideration, but i've never known anyone personally who did that.

DesFIP -> RE: New to this but curious about something... (12/19/2009 8:05:12 PM)
Usually yes. Of you have been instructed to buy yourself a collar because he's working on an oil rig for the next six weeks and can't get to a store, that would be different. But if it's that he doesn't want to go to the nearest petsmart and buy a $14.95 pet collar, then I'd rethink the relationship.

Justme696 -> RE: New to this but curious about something... (12/20/2009 1:59:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ocongalieghsgirl When one gets collared...does their Master/Dom purchase the collar? Just curious. Was this part of a fight/discussion between you and him? ( you pay..no...you pay..thingy) If so..bad start. Is it was just a question out of curiosity. Mostly the D buys it....as others said before.

sunshinemiss -> RE: New to this but curious about something... (12/20/2009 3:51:38 AM)
The M type usually buys it... and it BELONGS to them... If they are nice about it, they will let you participate... "Oh please, the pink one with diamondettes and a little bell, please Signore!" *giggles And it is returned if the relationship ends. They can use it on their next girl until they get her her own...(for me that is some seriously bad mojo... don't want a generic collar some other gal had on ... blech)

Elizabeth666 -> RE: New to this but curious about something... (12/20/2009 3:56:49 AM)
Sir and I compromised on mine. It's a necklace with a stainless steel charm. On the front is some design but that back was blank. He paid for the necklace, I paid for the engraving. We had "HIS" engraved on it.

SirJ40 -> RE: New to this but curious about something... (12/20/2009 6:57:58 AM)
I either purchase, or make, every one. Once a girl wears a Collar of Mine, she's likely to end up with several... babygirl has about six now? Different colors, styles, and levels of "obviousness"- some are unmistakeably kinky collars, and some look more like leather choker neckpieces. We can then tailor the one she wears to the situation, more or less kinky, more or less vanilla, even formal.. she wore a Collar to her staff Christmas party, and got many compliments on her "choker".. we found it amusing, but also rewarding that the symbol could be present, but the stigma/political issues could be not present. Plus, I like a simple, comfortable suede piece for general "around the house" wear and/or sleeping, but maybe something a little fancier for going out and about. No matter what, though, they're Mine.. I pay for them, I put them on, take them off, and maintain them.

windchymes -> RE: New to this but curious about something... (12/20/2009 7:05:39 AM)
Yes, the Dom should purchase the collar. If he shoplifts it and gets caught, things could get messy. On a serious note, I'm starting to see men wearing wedding rings (two at my workplace alone) that are made of tungsten carbide. It's actually beautiful metal and I thought to myself that those would make a beautiful collar.

whiteslavebitch -> RE: New to this but curious about something... (12/20/2009 7:31:37 AM)
Mine did, I had a lot of input into what kind of collar since I have to wear it in public and at work.

LanceHughes -> RE: New to this but curious about something... (12/20/2009 7:34:38 AM)
What everyone has said so far. The collar belongs to the Master just as the slave does. Think of a dog/cat - they can't even buy their food, much less their clothing. LOL! Technically, slaves have nothing...... there were (in the gay leather Old Guard days) slaves that turned over any income to the Master. Since they were owned, their income belonged to the Master.

ocongalieghsgirl -> RE: New to this but curious about something... (12/20/2009 7:43:19 AM)
it was just a question out of curiosity...and thank you for the responses.

JohnDoe244 -> RE: New to this but curious about something... (12/20/2009 7:53:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ocongalieghsgirl When one gets collared...does their Master/Dom purchase the collar? Depends entirely on the relationship dynamic. As I see myself (like most Male Dominants) as a "Real Man: Bread Winner and Provider"(TM) it'd be unthinkable for me to not purchase the collar. On the other hand, if there's an aspect of financial domination in the relationship, then it seems perfectly reasonable for the slave to pay or have it taken out of their allowance. And by the same token in relationships that aren't 24/7 it would also be perfectly reasonable for either partner to buy the collar - it's just another sex aid. Whether the collar is a gift, a novel way of a submissive woman wanting to show her submissiveness visually or a sex toy purchased by whoever has the most disposable income that month doesn't really matter so long as it fills its purpose of increasing "fun". Finally we come to the single gal. You don't have a master, but you're submissive. Buying your own collar (whether to put you in a submissive mood or to take kinky pictures) isn't some big taboo thing. Some Masters might be confused by it and ask "if you're single then why are you collared?" But it's a matter simply explained - and if a Master doesn't want you wearing a collar that isn't his then he'll let you know (and that's just another layer of Domination if he's forcing you NOT to wear a collar). Other Masters (especially if you're in a distance/online relationship or a "mostly vanilla - BDSM for kinky fun" relationship) will find the fact that you already own a collar to be a big turn on. While there are established standards, protocol and etiquette for BDSM, it's important to remember that there aren't "The Scene Police" who'll kick down your door and haul you off to court because you broke the "Rules". You shouldn't be afraid of doing something wrong or doing things differently to how "those people on the internet" said was the right way to do things. The significance of a collaring is decided entirely by the dynamics of your personal M/s relationship.

Roselaure -> RE: New to this but curious about something... (12/20/2009 7:53:31 AM)
We were together when we got it, at a flea market where they had the type of collar we had been talking about but hadn't been able to find. We were both excited to find it. I honestly don't remember who paid. "Who pays?", is not a topic of great importance to us.

AquaticSub -> RE: New to this but curious about something... (12/20/2009 8:25:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ocongalieghsgirl When one gets collared...does their Master/Dom purchase the collar? I'd say that the standard operating procedure but there are always exceptions.

sunshinemiss -> RE: New to this but curious about something... (12/20/2009 10:35:33 AM)
quote: there aren't "The Scene Police" who'll kick down your door and haul you off to court Well heck, there goes that fantasy up in smoke!

mnottertail -> RE: New to this but curious about something... (12/20/2009 10:36:57 AM)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiVscqYrtfM

osf -> RE: New to this but curious about something... (12/20/2009 10:37:00 AM)
dont subbies com prepackaged with a collar and leash?

sexyred1 -> RE: New to this but curious about something... (12/20/2009 10:56:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JohnDoe244 [ Finally we come to the single gal. You don't have a master, but you're submissive. Buying your own collar (whether to put you in a submissive mood or to take kinky pictures) isn't some big taboo thing. Some Masters might be confused by it and ask "if you're single then why are you collared?" But it's a matter simply explained - and if a Master doesn't want you wearing a collar that isn't his then he'll let you know (and that's just another layer of Domination if he's forcing you NOT to wear a collar). Other Masters (especially if you're in a distance/online relationship or a "mostly vanilla - BDSM for kinky fun" relationship) will find the fact that you already own a collar to be a big turn on. Also, us single gals were not always single; hence, we have collars already and yes, discovering that a sub owns a collar does intrigue some men who may be unaware of your proclivities. Sorry, screwed up the quote thing.

AnimusRex -> RE: New to this but curious about something... (12/20/2009 11:14:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP But if it's that he doesn't want to go to the nearest petsmart and buy a $14.95 pet collar, then I'd rethink the relationship. Woo hoo, look who's a Bridezilla! $14.95? What, you crazy princess or somepin'? Wal-Mart, $6.75, with coupon.

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

3.173828E-02