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RE: insecurity and fear - 12/25/2009 2:25:58 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: bibiswitch
why would a woman crave an obedient male partner?
Or, perhaps, because she feels like being in a relationship where she is the dominant partner? Leadership does have it's joys you know. I enjoy being the dominant partner in my marriage, no two ways around it. But there's exactly two motives and they are (or should be) fairly obvious.

a) I like owning a female. You know... it's pretty primal and all.
b) I think of myself as a good leader and like to exercise those talents to benefit the woman I love.


_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to bibiswitch)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: insecurity and fear - 12/25/2009 3:19:40 PM   
YesMistressIrish


Posts: 1135
Joined: 5/1/2007
From: Calif
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

How's that judgmental thing working there for you? 



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Profile   Post #: 42
RE: insecurity and fear - 12/28/2009 12:19:56 PM   
bibiswitch


Posts: 27
Joined: 12/13/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CherokeeRose2

If that were true, wouldn't that be the same for ANY dominant, both male AND female?


come on, it is obvious, because men are not that insecure as women

as for the other answers, you are really pathetic, how come you are so fragile to arguements?
and your inability to argue, simply proves that the assumptions are correct? *giggles*

I hoped to see some arguements here, about the desire of a woman to be admired, to dominate, etc that most if not all vanilla women have (don't they) and all I see is stupid childish posts, behaveeeeee ;)

(in reply to CherokeeRose2)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: insecurity and fear - 12/28/2009 12:26:50 PM   
bibiswitch


Posts: 27
Joined: 12/13/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

quote:

ORIGINAL: bibiswitch

why would a woman crave an obedient male partner?

   Why wouldn't She??  Maybe because She can??



I randomly read that and I really need to answer: I cannot believe the stupidity of some people
an obedient male partner would go with ANY woman! I mean WTF!!! is it so hard for you to understand that a woman proves she *can* if she can have a strong, egoistic, handsome, maybe arrogant (because he has... reasons) etc man instead of an obedient frustrated smalldicked sissy that would go with any fat ugly granny just to satisfy his masochistic needs, since he cannot get a normal good looking woman?

come on! do we really need to explain the clear facts?

< Message edited by bibiswitch -- 12/28/2009 12:50:49 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 44
RE: insecurity and fear - 12/28/2009 12:28:36 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		ROFL... he calls us stupid and he is the one with all the stupid questions! Dude you should have a youtube show.

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Profile   Post #: 45
RE: insecurity and fear - 12/28/2009 12:40:10 PM   
bibiswitch


Posts: 27
Joined: 12/13/2009
Status: offline 		oh come on, you name stupid, questions you don't understand or can't answer? that is really stupid
what is the reason you post really? to say 'no', 'you are wrong' etc? is this a silly competition to increase your forum posts? duh!

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: insecurity and fear - 12/28/2009 12:57:16 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		ROFL... okay you are sounding like another poster we had here... gee... it all becomes a bit more clear. Keep talking... you are giving yourself away.

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No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


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Profile   Post #: 47
RE: insecurity and fear - 12/28/2009 2:47:14 PM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bibiswitch

as for the other answers, you are really pathetic, how come you are so fragile to arguements?
and your inability to argue, simply proves that the assumptions are correct?


Nope, it just proves that old saying, "Garbage in, garbage out."  If you want intelligent answers, start an intelligent thread.

(in reply to bibiswitch)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: insecurity and fear - 12/28/2009 3:04:54 PM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline 		VENATRIX!!!  I missed ya

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Profile   Post #: 49
RE: insecurity and fear - 12/28/2009 3:44:59 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bibiswitch

oh come on, you name stupid, questions you don't understand or can't answer? that is really stupid
what is the reason you post really? to say 'no', 'you are wrong' etc? is this a silly competition to increase your forum posts? duh!


You're assuming that all dominant women exclusively only dominate "submissive men" or men that they meet who are already self-defined as subs or bottoms.  I can't speak for all femdoms, but I was dominating vanilla guys long before I knew what BDSM was, and ultimately every "vanilla" guy I dated was introduced to kinky sex, submission and aspects of female domination.

In fact, you'll see that many dominant women object to overly submissive posturing and the instant-submission that is offered by many men.  They instead seek mutually affectionate relationships with men who understand S&M and how kinky desires work, so they can together find pleasures that non-kinked people don't generally understand - or, more importantly, need.

You'll also see that many femdoms work hard to reconcile that in order to take power from a man, he must have power to start with.  Dominance for some is an act of seduction and lust.  For me, it's borderline predatory - always within consent, but best delivered when a man endures things he finds uncomfortable, degrading or painful.  The fact that he willingly endures this kind of treatment for the end result - my arousal and pleasure - is a symbiotic S&M exchange that makes both people feel electric.

If anything, you'll find that most self-identified dominant women have "cut their teeth" on vanilla prey, and ultimately moved on to men who can more fully understand and appreciate how critical this satisfaction is to us -- because they have a drive as powerful in them.

Akasha


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Profile   Post #: 50
RE: insecurity and fear - 12/28/2009 4:16:40 PM   
SomethingCatchy


Posts: 796
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

ROFL... okay you are sounding like another poster we had here... gee... it all becomes a bit more clear. Keep talking... you are giving yourself away.


Exactly what I was thinking. It's too much of a coincidence that finally one of the creepy female haters disappears and another one pops up to take his place saying pretty much the same things the creep kept saying.


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Profile   Post #: 51
RE: insecurity and fear - 12/28/2009 4:47:06 PM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline 		Hijacked thread alert!

Hello cutie - good to see you're still around, too.  Am much enjoying having my special friend visiting from England, so not much time to spare, but all is good, and hope it is with you, too.  (And everyone else, of course!)

(in reply to Phoenixpower)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: insecurity and fear - 12/28/2009 7:45:07 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO

Why would some random internet poster feel the need to post such childish and insecure blather all while hiding behind an inactive profile.

This reeks of spilt milk and frustration.



Thanks, I was wondering what that smell was.


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This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


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Profile   Post #: 53
RE: insecurity and fear - 12/28/2009 7:47:36 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika


quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika


quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

Oh, I see you got one of those toy psych diplomas they had on sale at Walgreen's last week for $1.99.

Ok so overnight Domme kits at Walmart & psych diplomas at Walgreen's. Venatrix, I'm ready for my next visit to the USA!

- LA


And don't forget our special range of Insta-subs. You just put on latex and they throw themselves at your feet.


Does this come with a spatula to scrape them off when I'm done with their sorry asses? ;-)

- LA


If you spray them with pam first, they won't stick.


_____________________________

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This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


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Profile   Post #: 54
RE: insecurity and fear - 12/29/2009 12:55:36 AM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		OK we agree the OP was written abominably, but just for the sake of it, I'll deal with the core questions.

quote:

ORIGINAL: bibiswitch

why would a woman crave an obedient male partner?

Simple! A disobedient partner is a pain in the ass, whether it's D/s or not! Someone who does his own thing with blithe disregard to his partner isn't worth being in partnership with, in a business or a relationship!

maybe because she is insecure that if he is not obedient, she will not be able to manage him? or he will hurt her, abandon her, etc?

Bullshit! Having taught for many years I have lots of behaviour management skills. However they are for dealing with KIDS ... I want to deal with a caring intelligent ADULT at home. And should that adult choose to defer to My leadership then that is HIS CHOICE ... so why would he then spend his time retracting that choice by being disobedient? Makes no sense. And anyone can hurt or abandon anyone else, obedience has fuck all to do with that.

maybe she really needs to serve, but she does so, only being on top, because she is afraid to serve from the bottom?

This is a pointless generalization. As one who does also serve from the bottom to Master with whom i live 24/7, i'm hardly afraid of that! However that doesn't interfere with the Dominant side of Me wanting someone to serve Me too!

doesn't she serve her partner when she punishes him, teases him, etc?

Punishing and teasing would be pretty low on My priorities as a Domme! However asking him to do things for Me, and indulging in the types of bdsm play and sexual activity that I like would be rather high! So no, I'm not serving him, however hopefully I am meeting his submissive needs in the totality of the relationship (if not at every individual moment).

the fact that these actions seem negative, [to whom? this appears to be the big fantasy for lots of boys!] one must understand that for a masochist/slave/etc these are servitude! the person who punishes a masochist, actually serves the masochist and his masochistic needs, [which is why I DON'T punish a masochist with pain, that's totally stupid. I prefer to use pain for reward for a masochist! If I have to punish him, it will be with withdrawal of privileges, or extra chores, definitely not serving his needs!] besides it is commonly claimed that the submissive has the power [yes and it's just that, a CLAIM, not necessarily reality. It may be temporarily the case in the beginning of a relationship whilst trust is being established, but it is not the case in a mature, established relationship]

maybe because she is not capable to inspire submission and to make a normal (non-submissive) man to obey and serve her? and she just want someone who is already a slave?

For one thing, I don't think submissive men are not "normal", that's insulting to all the wonderful subby guys out there. Secondly, if you mean that "someone who is already a slave" is one of those grovelling wretches who have no ideas of their own and can only blurt out "anything you say Maam" then I most definitely DON'T want them! I want an intelligent man with a mind of his own who has an obedient and submissive mindset and heart ... who will feel fulfilled and satisfied by knowing he has given his power to a worthy Dominant who will not abuse Her position and who values him for who and what he is.

maybe because the obedience of a male is the precondition that she will feel unique, supreme, etc? isn't this pathetic if it happens? if she bases her supremacy on the obedience of slaves, isn't this pathetic? wouldn't be more valid to base her supremacy to others than slaves?

I simply don't get off on this whole supremacy thing in the first place. Would be totally hypocritical for Me to be a Female Supremacist who is also slave to a male Master LOL! Dominance and submission are two complementary conditions, neither is supreme. And my sub side doesn't feel at all pathetic for being sub/slave to Master ... i am proud to serve Him. Similarly My Domme side isn't pathetic for being served by a sub ... I am proud to have a worthy one serve Me. So this whole supremacy thing is a furphy to Me.


Of course I now have the feeling I have wasted My breath ... but My drive to teach frequently overcomes My good sense!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to bibiswitch)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: insecurity and fear - 12/29/2009 4:24:36 AM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline 		OP, I have read your blathering for three pages so far and a lot of intelligent answers, as well as your incessant arguing.  So now I have some things to say:

quote:

ORIGINAL: bibiswitch
come on, it is obvious, because men are not that insecure as women

Oh, pleeeeeeeeease.  You have got to be kidding.  You obviously have not met/corresponded with some of the male Doms and subs I have met/corresponded with.  Believe me, neither gender or role has the market cornered on insecurity.

quote:

ORIGINAL: bibiswitch

I randomly read that and I really need to answer: I cannot believe the stupidity of some people
an obedient male partner would go with ANY woman! I mean WTF!!! is it so hard for you to understand that a woman proves she *can* if she can have a strong, egoistic, handsome, maybe arrogant (because he has... reasons) etc man instead of an obedient frustrated smalldicked sissy that would go with any fat ugly granny just to satisfy his masochistic needs, since he cannot get a normal good looking woman?

come on! do we really need to explain the clear facts?

Oh great.  Get real, OP.  "The stupidity of some people?"  I'm thinkin' your own posts are pretty stupid.....and argumentative as well.  If you post a stupid theory, well.....

An obedient male partner does not necessarily go with just any woman.  He may be obedient only to his Partner.  Why would anyone want a partner who is obedient to just "ANY woman," and how would that make Her "feel unique, supreme, etc," to use your own words?  Again, to use your own words:  "I mean WTF!!! is it so hard for you to understand that?"

"An obedient frustrated smalldicked sissy that would go with any fat ugly granny just to satisfy his masochistic needs, since he cannot get a normal good looking woman?"  Might you be lashing out against these wonderful Dommes because you can't "get a normal good looking woman??"  It's an idea.  I'm just sayin'........

quote:

ORIGINAL: bibiswitch

oh come on, you name stupid

Okay.  I will.  Stupid is coming on the Ask a Mistress board and insulting all these lovely Dommes,expecting Them to give you a good reception and agree with you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: bibiswitch

what is the reason you post really? to say 'no', 'you are wrong' etc? is this a silly competition to increase your forum posts? duh!

Ahem.  Have you listened to yourself lately, OP??  Inquiring minds would like to know.......

< Message edited by sweetsub1957 -- 12/29/2009 4:26:32 AM >

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to bibiswitch)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: insecurity and fear - 12/29/2009 3:39:52 PM   
curls84


Posts: 11
Joined: 10/29/2009
Status: offline 		to the original poster,

i feel the need to point out that that dominance/submission is a VERY sexually charged idea in this way of life. not saying that you are ignorant to this fact but maybe you just overlooked it. at least for guys (and by guys i mean ME:)) it is and ill assume its the same for ladies as well. everyone is in this for their own reasons but i think its safe to say that we just find this hot. why? well thats another topic altogether. but it doesnt really need to be explained. not to dumb it down too much but some like blondes, some brunettes, i like attitude and leather corsets.

and of course a woman could feel all the things you stated in your post about a man leaving her, hurting her etc., but you will find that with vanilla women as well. just because they think it doesnt make them 'weak' or secretly submissive. its human nature for your mind to at least consider the possible outcomes. and of course she is serving us when she beats us or denies us but the nature of sexual activity is give and take man. the whole act is one of surrender on both sides at some level. unless you include the dispicable act of rape (not the play kind).

and when you say she already wants someone who is a slave, all men are dude. it sounds archaic but we take them out on our tab, buy them drinks, be nice when it would be hilarious to be mean, listen to they're problems when we dont want to, i mean the list goes on so one can see that even in vanilla world these submissive traits are present. we just call it chivalry, haha. and how is it pathetic for a woman to like the preconditioned slave/sub. she just knows what pastures to graze in which personally i'd call intelligence. think about it would you look for cougars and a high school kegger. no.

alot of what you said came off as using philosophy to twists theories and opinion into facts, when if you really wanted an awnser you should've just been more polite. but who am i to talk, im blunt myself. look dude ive lived with girls fo 2 years and you really get to know them. they are not as weak as you think they are. emotional yes. confusing....maybe but only if you dont speak girl and i happen to be fluent, lol. but not weak. on some levels they are stronger than us. so before i begin to rant, next time you think about what you said just look at it from all angles. keep what i say in mind.

(in reply to sweetsub1957)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: insecurity and fear - 12/30/2009 12:49:17 AM   
giveit2meifUcan


Posts: 5
Joined: 12/29/2009
Status: offline 		To the OP ... you are getting hammered by the mob in multiple threads. People get pissed off of you start trying ti take away what they want to believe. The fact is there is no such thing as a dominant woman ... only men who submit due to years of social and sexual conditioning leading to sex addiction. "Dominant" women are generally of average temperament ... just read all these threads about how nice they want to be to their subs and it is obvious. They lack the aggression necessary to be dominant because it is biological. They do not pursue their goal but rather are receptive of the male offering as usual, except in this case the male is compelled by sexual addiction instead of abundance and thus presents weakly as a submissive. There is not a woman alive who can compel a man to kneel. This ideal dominant women is just a male fantasy that sells porn site subscriptions and is occasionally a convenient place-holder for real life women to approximate outwardly to some usually small advantage. In the end it is always the male who is the source of all energy and the woman the receiver, thus the male is biologically and psychologically the only natural dominant.

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Profile   Post #: 58
RE: insecurity and fear - 12/30/2009 1:02:24 AM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: curls84

and how is it pathetic for a woman to like the preconditioned slave/sub. she just knows what pastures to graze in which personally i'd call intelligence.




< Message edited by sweetsub1957 -- 12/30/2009 1:13:25 AM >

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to curls84)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: insecurity and fear - 12/30/2009 1:10:34 AM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

To the OP ... you are getting hammered by the mob in multiple threads. People get pissed off of you start trying ti take away what they want to believe.

No, the OP is getting hammered on for posting inflammatory, ignorant shite in the guise of seeking knowledge. Hir posts have a smarmy, Psych 101 "Read a book, get a theory, try to find the data to back it up" feel that is rather off putting.
quote:

The fact is there is no such thing as a dominant woman ... only men who submit due to years of social and sexual conditioning leading to sex addiction.

LMAO! First off, get over yourself... or better yet, stop making excuses.  Secondly, what about dominant women who are gay? Are they dominant because some men submit, too?
quote:

"Dominant" women are generally of average temperament ... just read all these threads about how nice they want to be to their subs and it is obvious. They lack the aggression necessary to be dominant because it is biological.

Umm... have you ever actually met a sadistic Domme? I suspect not. Yes, many care very much for their partners (as do male Doms), but that doesn't mean that Mr. Subby isn't going to find his kibbles and bits tied to his ankle or "clothed" in 100 or more clothespins.
quote:

They do not pursue their goal but rather are receptive of the male offering as usual, except in this case the male is compelled by sexual addiction instead of abundance and thus presents weakly as a submissive.

Again, I suspect that you have yet to meet a female dominant in real. That said, I think there are some male subs who will have an issue with the second part of your statement.
quote:

There is not a woman alive who can compel a man to kneel.

Bullshit.
quote:

This ideal dominant women is just a male fantasy that sells porn site subscriptions and is occasionally a convenient place-holder for real life women to approximate outwardly to some usually small advantage. In the end it is always the male who is the source of all energy and the woman the receiver, thus the male is biologically and psychologically the only natural dominant

ROFLMAO!!! I really can't wait until some of the ladies of this forum wake up and read this tripe. You are in for a rude awakening, cupcake.

< Message edited by WyldHrt -- 12/30/2009 1:35:26 AM >

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(in reply to giveit2meifUcan)
Profile   Post #: 60
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