RE: Getting an insult for a compliment

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RE: Getting an insult for a compliment - 3/18/2006 3:39:03 PM

SimplyV

Posts: 351
Joined: 11/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Saint

How many here have ever got insulted from someone on here when you see a profile that intrigues you, and you send that person a quick note complimenting them on it? I have had that happen twice now this week. I dont send a lot of notes or emails, but when I see a profile that is striking, I dont mind occasionally simply saying so. But to be insulted because you payed them a compliment, is rudeness in the extreme. What do you think?

Maybe you caught them on a bad day? I used to get emails complimenting me on how beautiful I was. Which usually I'd just roll my eyes and think in my head "Thank you Captain Obvious" and not reply. If I was having a bad day sometimes I'd think "Wtf do you need glasses?"

Was there more to your message than just "hey I liked your profile"? One liners are extremely irritating no matter how complimentary you try to be with it.

Maybe they get 200 emails a day all stating the same compliment and it just got too much?

Maybe you weren't as clear in your compliment as you could have been and they misinterpreted it?

Or maybe they're just rude insensitive people?

I'm of the cynical camp of people that expect a certain level of rudeness, idiocy, bigotry, and other miscellaneous negativity from people. I don't really get that upset when people act that way. I'm used to it. I find it joy when people prove my outlook wrong by being nice.

(in reply to Saint)

Post #: 21

RE: Getting an insult for a compliment - 3/18/2006 4:32:59 PM

twicehappy

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

How many here have ever got insulted from someone on here when you see a profile that intrigues you, and you send that person a quick note complimenting them on it? I have had that happen twice now this week. I dont send a lot of notes or emails, but when I see a profile that is striking, I dont mind occasionally simply saying so. But to be insulted because you payed them a compliment, is rudeness in the extreme. What do you think?

I sent an email to someone (ScooterTrash), here on Collarme stating i was intrigued by their profile and received a very insulting email back. The person responding implied i was not even a real live human being or a very ditzy blond. This really pricked a nerve so i responded back quite vehemently. The upshot of the story, i am now tremendously happy in his and his co-Domme's (ShiftedJewel), collar. I think it's worth the effort to keep sending those greetings and emails as you never know......

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to Saint)

Post #: 22

RE: Getting an insult for a compliment - 3/18/2006 4:41:55 PM

ScooterTrash

Posts: 1407
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy

I sent an email to someone (ScooterTrash), here on Collarme stating i was intrigued by their profile and received a very insulting email back. The person responding implied i was not even a real live human being or a very ditzy blond. This really pricked a nerve so i responded back quite vehemently. The upshot of the story, i am now tremendously happy in his and his co-Domme's (ShiftedJewel), collar. I think it's worth the effort to keep sending those greetings and emails as you never know......

Ack..in defense, she sent me a link to another site so I could see a picture. My first reaction was that she was a computer program trying to spam others into using the other site..I've had that happen. As they say all's well that ends well as me ticking her off made her respond...lol. When it occured to me she was very real (and yes, still blonde..lmao), I kind of turned tail and appologized, but she doesn't let me forget it (in a teasing sort of way)..ha ha.

_____________________________

Formal symbolic representation of qualitative entities is doomed to its rightful place of minor significance in a world where flowers and beautiful women abound.
-Albert Einstein

(in reply to twicehappy)

Post #: 23

RE: Getting an insult for a compliment - 3/18/2006 4:53:16 PM

twicehappy

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy

I sent an email to someone (ScooterTrash), here on Collarme stating i was intrigued by their profile and received a very insulting email back. The person responding implied i was not even a real live human being or a very ditzy blond. This really pricked a nerve so i responded back quite vehemently. The upshot of the story, i am now tremendously happy in his and his co-Domme's (ShiftedJewel), collar. I think it's worth the effort to keep sending those greetings and emails as you never know......

quote:

from ScooterTrash
Ack..in defense, she sent me a link to another site so I could see a picture. My first reaction was that she was a computer program trying to spam others into using the other site..I've had that happen. As they say all's well that ends well as me ticking her off made her respond...lol. When it occured to me she was very real (and yes, still blonde..lmao), I kind of turned tail and appologized, but she doesn't let me forget it (in a teasing sort of way)..ha ha.

UH-HUH

Methinks thou doth protest to much Master, LOL

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to ScooterTrash)

Post #: 24

RE: Getting an insult for a compliment - 3/18/2006 5:46:35 PM

WikedUncle

Posts: 45
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Saint

How many here have ever got insulted from someone on here when you see a profile that intrigues you, and you send that person a quick note complimenting them on it? I have had that happen twice now this week. I dont send a lot of notes or emails, but when I see a profile that is striking, I dont mind occasionally simply saying so. But to be insulted because you payed them a compliment, is rudeness in the extreme. What do you think?

I've sent a few compliments, received a few, and had a couple of suspicious, skeptical responses. Generally, I avoid sending one-liners, since I know some people find them annoying. Also, I try to send thanks back whenever I get a compliment.

A couple of replies in this thread seemed to suppose that your compliment was sexual in nature, and there's the problem. Too many people online get too jaded too fast. They can't accept a simple appreciation of style without suspecting an ulterior motive. The insulting reply tells you a) the message got there, and b) you probably don't want to know this person anyway. (They probably hired someone to write that stunning profile.) You win, they lose.

Naturally, you shouldn't reveal identities, but remember them. When they post a message about how they can't even find friendship online, your private satisfaction will give you a three-day cynical rush.

_____________________________

"A man who can express himself in song need not express himself in suicide."

(in reply to Saint)

Post #: 25

RE: Getting an insult for a compliment - 3/18/2006 7:12:45 PM

Tristan

Posts: 330
Joined: 5/31/2004
Status: offline

I've had some pretty rude introductory emails sent to me as well as some pretty rude responses to my compliments. Some people like to set themselves up above others. There is nothing you can do about it except ignore the person, but it still can be anoying.

(in reply to WikedUncle)

Post #: 26

RE: Getting an insult for a compliment - 3/19/2006 9:26:05 AM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

What do you think?

I think that you're probably tring to blow sunshine up the skirt of someone that's owned and not used to male dominant "friends".

(in reply to Saint)

Post #: 27

RE: Getting an insult for a compliment - 3/19/2006 9:30:58 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

LOL,

I take a hallmark greeting card attitude..........

An insult for a compliment?

Only when you care enough to send the very best.................

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 28

RE: Getting an insult for a compliment - 3/19/2006 9:39:05 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

Honestly, I don't think we know what happened...

I don't know the 'gist' of what was sent in either direction.

Doesn't need to be word for word, but, just saying you sent someone a compliment and was then insulted...well...out here in the country, one person's compliment can easily be another's insult...

Anyway, good luck to ya!

There are A LOT of nice people here!

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 29

RE: Getting an insult for a compliment - 3/19/2006 9:42:43 AM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I've stopped being rude and have issued several.."I'm sorry's" So, what the hell is wrong with issuing one more
"I'm sorry" But I swear it wasn't me....My Jack Daniels has been locked up for a month now! I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER NOW....I KNOW I DO.

Congrats fastlane! Here's wishing you many more months to come!

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 30

RE: Getting an insult for a compliment - 3/19/2006 11:07:05 AM

Saint

Posts: 279
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Honestly, I don't think we know what happened...

I don't know the 'gist' of what was sent in either direction.

Doesn't need to be word for word, but, just saying you sent someone a compliment and was then insulted...well...out here in the country, one person's compliment can easily be another's insult...

Anyway, good luck to ya!

There are A LOT of nice people here!

I know there are a lot of nice people here. :) Ive met a lot of good friends on here over the last few years.

This is a copy of one of the emails I sent. You can see that there is nothing overtly sexual or inviting about it, simply a compliment in the truest sense.

"Good afternoon **********,

I do hope the day is going good for you so far? I do know that your profile states your particular preferences and that I dont fit them, but I couldnt help but send you a quick note to simply say WOW and congratulations on a very well done profile! Please dont be offended as I have no interest beyond paying you a compliment on your picture and profile today and tell you that I found it very, very beautiful and thought inspiring.

Please have a wonderful day,

Saint` "

Now pray tell me, how can a quick note like that result in me getting a reply like this?

"How dare you even talk to me you worm?? You must be a desperate hard up loser to even approach and think I would want anything to do with you!"

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 31

RE: Getting an insult for a compliment - 3/19/2006 4:54:44 PM

artglfr

Posts: 235
Joined: 4/8/2005
Status: offline

WOW !!! I would be upset also. Just shine that person on and enjoy all the good people that will respond Politely. I saw nothing in your reply to warrant the response. You were polite and it wasn't just a one word reply.

Kink Forever

(in reply to Saint)

Post #: 32

RE: Getting an insult for a compliment - 3/19/2006 5:17:35 PM

WikedUncle

Posts: 45
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Saint

Now pray tell me, how can a quick note like that result in me getting a reply like this?

"How dare you even talk to me you worm?? You must be a desperate hard up loser to even approach and think I would want anything to do with you!"

Saint, I think she likes you!!

_____________________________

"A man who can express himself in song need not express himself in suicide."

(in reply to Saint)

Post #: 33

RE: Getting an insult for a compliment - 3/19/2006 11:35:51 PM

fierceflawless

Posts: 12
Joined: 3/18/2006
Status: offline

That is just plain rude. If someone takes the time to message me with a compliment, I'm generally quite flattered. I'm sorry that happened to you.

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 34

RE: Getting an insult for a compliment - 3/21/2006 7:40:28 AM

Driver1961

Posts: 459
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

He enters, dips His lid........

Ok, Saint, I won't post so tongue in cheek now............Yes, I pretty much thoroughly agree with you , having had similar experiences....

Unfortunately there are many here (both men and women alike) that want this, want that , but wouldn't know a genuine Gentlemenry comment if it was shoved into their 'Never Never Land' (Oops eyes forgot, some enjoy that!)   Sadly for these idiots their venomous reply (or lack of reply) only reflects upon themselves directly or upon their Dom/me, and upon the more decent of us here, particularly their 'more respectful sisters' (Sisters used loosely here) A 'Precious' in my view should demonstrate civility at all times with respect (in the least) to 'complimentary' emails. Yes some Dom/mes appear to be control freaks who cant allow/demand civility from themselves or the so called 'PreciousOnes' out of their own insecutrities?

Some Dom/mes forbid a reply by their slaves/subs.   If the profile indicates they are collared (acknowledge their Master/Sir) in your email. If their profile indicates their Dom/me's tag then email directly to them to indicate utmost respect. Most collared profilesdo not indicate the Dom/mes tag tho.    If the Dom/me doesn't reply then that indicates their anal retentiveness also.

Well that's my view and if anyone disagrees with me (with due respect to you Saint...) please post here otherwise or begin a new thread.

Warm regards to all

Driver1961, Sir to His Precious Wild. (Redheadedfire4u)

_____________________________

Dance as though nobody is watching!

(in reply to fierceflawless)

Post #: 35

RE: Getting an insult for a compliment - 3/21/2006 8:32:09 AM

enslavegirl

Posts: 111
Joined: 2/8/2006
Status: offline

some days i just sort through the pics and read journals looking for happy news
and when i find some good news i love to jot a happy note to Tthem

only once have i received a nasty note back.....i just send a nice note back......one can kill someone more painfully with kindness

(in reply to Saint)

Post #: 36

RE: Getting an insult for a compliment - 3/21/2006 9:44:04 AM

LKP79

Posts: 34
Joined: 10/2/2005
Status: offline

I've sent the occasional friendly note to folks when something about their profile/journal catches my eye. As i've mentioned in another thread, i've got a nice little friendship going with a man who's profile literally had me in stitches, and i wrote to tell him so. Every message he's sent me since then has made me laugh.
I've also sent encouraging words to those who's journal entries reflect disappointment or frustration in their searches.
Most of these messages i've sent out result in multiple back and forth messages, just general chit chat, and them sharing their frustrations. I've never had anybody not reply, or reply in an impolite manner. Maybe i've just been lucky and my time is coming. Of course, i generally only write those who's profile makes them out to appear polite in the first place.

(in reply to enslavegirl)

Post #: 37

RE: Getting an insult for a compliment - 3/21/2006 11:40:15 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

You are paying for other people's rudeness, I imagine. You must realize that subs get tons of email, including emails that purport to be about a post but are actually an excuse to criticize the sub's dom and that end with a come-on, claiming that she would have never had any problem if she switched doms. We also have received comments on our profiles that, if we replied with a thank you, we then received the come on. As a result, it is rare for anyone to believe you were moved to write for any purpose except to get your foot in the door.

Personally I suspect people of the opposite sex/power position who are moved to write to me for no reason. I am a lot less suspect when I get an email on a forum post that strictly sticks to the original thread, possibly offering more info than they had posted.

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 38

RE: Getting an insult for a compliment - 3/21/2006 11:49:40 AM

NotN2U

Posts: 13
Joined: 8/19/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Maybe you caught them on a bad day?

I would have to say anyone who responds to a compliment by being a rude ass cannot hide behind "having a bad day". That's about as ludicrous as if Hitler had said he was "just kidding".
Let's be straight here: Rudeness isn't something spontaneous or incidental. It is cultivated, grown, and practiced. If you are a rude bastard, you're gonna be rude. It also reeks of ill-breeding, bad manners, and yes, let's say it.... poor self control.
In My opinion, its bad enough to speak rudely to someone... but it takes a real asshole to actually take the presence of mind to sit there and TYPE out rudeness. In regards to the original poster, anyone who would be mean to you for simply comlimenting them has such deep seated personal problems and inborn self-loathing that they would be most undeserving of anyone nice enough to be nice to them. My grandmother used to say, " pretty on the outside doesn't mean pretty on the inside."

(in reply to SimplyV)

Post #: 39

RE: Getting an insult for a compliment - 3/21/2006 12:20:35 PM

Magdala

Posts: 2
Joined: 7/7/2005
Status: offline

I put a lot of time, thought and effort into writing my profile and its subsequent journal entries. If someone takes not only the time to read my entire profile and then to comment positively on it, I have always responded with a sincere "Thank You" ~ even when the person is not someone I would be interested in for a LTR. I don't understand the hostility except that this is the internet and some folks seem to lose any sense of courtesy, kindness and respect. I figure we are all here because of a common interest and what does it hurt anyone to keep an open mind and a compassionate heart toward others seeking for the same?

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 40

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