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RE: humiliation and weight loss - 3/18/2006 10:20:56 PM

TemptingNviceSub

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If my understanding on humiliation goes usually the humiliation process (for the most part and not all) it is usually based on things that a submissive does not find to be actually true statements being made to them so hence less harmful to their personal psyche.But if a humiliation statement is made and the submissive believes it to be an actual fact I feel it would be more harmful rather than helpful..of course with that being said I am a person who does not deal with humiliation on any basis,it is one of my hard limits,I would feel the emotional damage as it was being done especially by one who i have given my whole being over to......be well....Tempting

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RE: humiliation and weight loss - 3/18/2006 10:23:06 PM

TheTopHat

Posts: 39
Joined: 3/12/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: pistachio

i'd like to hear people's opinions on how effective humilation is on getting a sub/slave to lose weight. i'm aware of the personal trainer approacher, where you encourage him/her to lose weight through healthy eating and exercise as well as lots of encouragement and positive reinforcement. But what about the humiliation type approach? For some subs/slaves they might respond better to being forced to sniff their own crap or run til they drop or eat baby food only or eat food they really hate or be called names til they cry.

Obviously this has to be a kink for both Dom and sub but i just wonder if anyone has any opinions/experiences to share on this?

cheers,
pistachio

Such an approach would go against everything I stand for and make me look at myself as a bad person. As a Dominant/Master my goal isn't to lower my values or create an excuse to lower them. If I were sincere in helping the sub lose weight because she wished too I would have to be practical about it -- it has been proven, anecdotally and empirically, that 'boot camp methods' are at best as good as but normally worse than alternatives in the long term. To pursue this method without some logical justification would be irresponsible.

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RE: humiliation and weight loss - 3/19/2006 12:22:17 AM

unownedredhead

Posts: 498
Joined: 2/5/2006
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Humiliation is punishment. Punishment only works as long as the punisher is present. It creates rebound effect, overindulgence as self punishment. let us talk a little Skinner here. What we want is negative re-enforcement. We want to reduce the behavior...... over eating. (for those without a psychology background postive reinforcement increases aka reinforces the behavior) So, how do we re-enforce reduced eating? Socially when I am losing weight I get more attention and this helps me stick to my diet. Buy her/him something sexy. Tell them specifics, not... you look good, but your ass looks tight, your breasts look perky, I love your calfs after you work out. Simple...complements..... touch. (touch the parts you like, don't just say I like your ass....touch the curve and say this dip here makes me wet/hard) ....SEX...grin ....growl and fuck them...... I personally am a food addict. I have trouble losing weight when those around me are eating large quantities of food or food that triggers my food addiction. You want your partner to lose weight? Look at what is in the house, what is being cooked, look at what you order. You are not together 24/7 eat the junk food when not with them. Bite the bullet ....yes you have more discipline..yes...you have a highter metabolism...bite the bullet and eat the stupid salad with them....smile and tell them how much you love raw spinache.

smile, dina

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RE: humiliation and weight loss - 3/19/2006 1:34:35 AM

pistachio

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Joined: 12/12/2005
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Wow, i didn't expect so many replies so quickly and all of them well thought out :) Thankyou so much. Everyone's, especially unownedredhead's comments...have helped.

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RE: humiliation and weight loss - 3/19/2006 7:39:50 AM

ropesubby39

Posts: 112
Joined: 9/30/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MyCaptainsPet

Humiliation would never ever work with me.

NEVER

i get enough of being kicked around in my life... to be humiliated by someone i trust so completely would probably rip me to the core.

IMHO if my weight is that big of an issue for you, then i'm NOT the sub for you...

I have to agree with your statement a 100%, if my weight bothers you, then move on. I have enough problems as it is, i dont need someone to make it worst for me.

If i lose weight, its because *I* am doing it for me, not for anyone else.

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RE: humiliation and weight loss - 3/19/2006 8:25:47 AM

luckyslaveboync

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Joined: 3/18/2005
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lucky's owner took in Her 24/7 and through menu control and required exercise, which She Herself practices, has brought him to be far healthier and much closer to weight proportionate, for which he is appreciative. So lucky would have to say the dominant mentoring approach is best.

However, lucky disagrees that humiliation has to be of the "you fat slob" type, which lucky agrees would rarely work. However, some forms of humiliation (ex., being required to wear one's piggy tail butt plug at mealtimes - sold at extremerestraints.com for this purpose??) can function to help the sub just think and put mind over mouth as it were. Humiliation lovingly but firmly applied can be part of an overall self-improvement plan, at least for some, lucky thinks. Just takes the right dom/me and right sub. lucky likes humility training but recognizes others do not; both the pro- and anti-humiliation bsdm'rs should just accept different approaches work for different people.

Have a great day!
lucky

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RE: humiliation and weight loss - 3/19/2006 9:14:48 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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For a great majority of people, this method would be pointless and do more harm than good.

Making someone feel LESS empowered and LESS confident about a change in their life rarely is the key to long term success.

But I'm sure there's some random person out there for whom it worked wonders.

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RE: humiliation and weight loss - 3/19/2006 9:25:50 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
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It would devastate me...

I would have to re-think a relationship which involved this particular kind of humiliation.

As someone recently told me..."I don't need to put you down...you do such a good job yourself"

Call me a tramp, put me on a leash, make me say things I never would...but...when you denigrate my looks or my personality...you bruise my soul.

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