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RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... - 12/28/2009 8:50:32 AM   
Loki45


Posts: 2100
Joined: 5/13/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Marc2b
That's the only good thing about the balls in the water problem - it means you likely have big balls. comfortably average


Yeah, I'm going to have to agree with the others. You've got serious sack issues if you can reach the water with them. Coincidentally, mid-way through this thread, I felt like I needed to go. Since I'd read about the balls-in-the-water thing, I thought I'd have a quick peek when I took the throne. Mine were a good 4 inches or higher from the water.

Seriously man, get at least one set of your plumbing checked. If your balls are hitting the water, your water is either WAY too high, or you have the type of sack made fun of in those parody movies or TV episodes where the protagonists are uncomfortably forced to avert their eyes from an over-sized sack.


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RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... - 12/28/2009 8:55:40 AM   
Loki45


Posts: 2100
Joined: 5/13/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: wykkidesire2plsU
You are in a public restroom and sit down and it is already wet.....ewwww.


This falls in line with the question I ask of women who get mad at their husbands for leaving the seat up -- Do you seriously not look before you sit? I mean of all the places in all the world where it would be a good idea to look before sitting down, I'd consider the bathroom to be right at the top of the list. I Just can't understand why that is such an overlooked precaution.


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"'Till the roof comes off, 'till the lights go out
'Till my legs give out, can't shut my mouth."

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Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... - 12/28/2009 9:10:18 AM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		The worst, I guess,  is the morning after a night of Budweiser and hot wings.  Head to the john quickly and as soon as you can sit down, BLASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST and the "blowback" hits you on the ass.  Not to mention what you just did to the underside of the toilet seat.  Thank God for subs, comet and toilet brushes.  At least, I'd thank if I had the first of those 3...... some day tho.

Have a happy, safe and non-constipated New Year folks

(in reply to Loki45)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... - 12/28/2009 2:24:52 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		Dont you just hate when you cough or sneeze and you
leak"?????

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RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... - 12/28/2009 2:38:09 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		HillWill

Blatz beer would always lead you to shitting thru the screendoor the next morning, it was awful swill.

Ron

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RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... - 12/28/2009 2:41:50 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		See your friendly urologist, and get a sling.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... - 12/28/2009 2:47:53 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

See your friendly urologist, and get a sling.


Pantiliners suffice. Its not an every day occurence!

_____________________________

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Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... - 12/28/2009 2:55:41 PM   
XaviersXian


Posts: 525
Joined: 9/8/2007
From: Australia
Status: offline 		Hello everyone,

Thank you so much for the read.  I've sympathised, laughed, cringed, wanted to comfort (even though the great majority of you are strangers to me) and learned more than I thought I'd ever like to learn about various things.

This thread has reminded me that, regardless of external factors, we are are human, and when all is said and done, we all go through the same basic types of issues. 

For some reason that I can't really articulate, reading this thing has made me grateful.

I wish you well.

(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... - 12/28/2009 3:06:41 PM   
ladynlord


Posts: 247
Joined: 1/27/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

I grabbed some more toilet paper to wipe off my hand and in the dim light I saw a dark patch on my hand! My eyes miraculously suddenly adjust quickly to the light and I see that someone had taken a runny dump but completely missed the hole! It was all over that open space where the seat doesn't come all around.



OMFG!
I need to go wash out My eyes....and spit too!

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Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... - 12/28/2009 3:08:56 PM   
SweetPoosy


Posts: 822
Joined: 3/12/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Dont you just hate when you cough or sneeze and you
leak"?????


Oh lordy! Don't I! Whenever I feel a sneeze or a cough, I tighten up and pray for the best, but with a large fibroid pressing on my bladder, sometimes having the tightest kegel in the world doesn't help! (Believe me, I can damned near snap a dick in half, and if I cough while you are inside, say buh-bye to your best buddy!)Goddess forbid that I get pneumonia or a bad cold, I almost have to wear a diaper...and that just ain't one of this girl's kinks!

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Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... - 12/28/2009 3:25:54 PM   
tsatske


Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline
quote:

Sleeping so soundly, warm and snug as a bug in a rug and dreaming deeply, all of a sudden the dream is about going to the bathroom, ahhhh.. streaming along merrily until you feel wetness and jump out of bed and to the bathroom, to find out that it was NO dream!!!


This never happens to me. Instead, if I am sleeping too deeply to be awakened by the presure on my bladder, my dreams will start being taken over by the dream that, whatever I am dreaming, i suddenly have to pee SO BAD, and I spend the rest of my dream wandering around unsuccessfully looking for a toilet, till I finely wake up! those are really annoying dreams!

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Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... - 12/28/2009 3:27:17 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		I HAVE FARTED WITH SUCH STENCH THAT i WOKE MYSELF UP.



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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... - 12/28/2009 3:32:44 PM   
thornhappy


Posts: 8596
Joined: 12/16/2006
Status: offline 		Gawd.  Think of the things you could do with a "dutch oven"!

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Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... - 12/28/2009 4:02:04 PM   
sblady


Posts: 433
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline
I've tried to stay away from this thread but it's like witnessing a train wreck; you know you shouldn't look, but you just have too.

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Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... - 12/28/2009 4:05:42 PM   
gehennasfury


Posts: 60
Joined: 6/19/2007
Status: offline 		The worst thing coming to my mind happend a few years ago. I was delivering pizza for a local mom & pop operation when a sudden wave of diarrhea hits me. Naturally, I'm driving and every gas station I pulled into had no public bathroom. By the fifth gas station, I was in very desperate need of a washroom, and I had finally found one. The next obstacle was a little old lady with a walker who went in before I could get to the washroom door. Mind you, I had to go damn near right then and there. After waiting what seemed like forever, out comes grandma. I hurry into the batroom, barely having time to lock the door. Well friends and neighbors, I didn't make it to the toilet. The first blast of liquid feces was all over my clothes and running down my legs. By this time, I feel somewhat relieved and manage tokick my clothes off, hoping to salvage them via the sink. While kicking them off before going to the toilet, a second wave hits me. Naturally, by this time, it isn't just shit, but piss too. I managed to kick my clothes to the sink and sit on the toilet to finish my business, which wasn't very much. I look at my clothes and determine the underwear to be a total loss. I put them in the garbage can and immediately begin rinsing my shorts off. Thankfully this happened in the summertime and we were required to wear dark blue pants/shorts. I got my shorts clean enough to sit in my car and head home to change clothes. I called the pizza shop and tld them my shorts had ripped right down the middle and I was headed home to change. I then called my sub to have her get the clean clothes ready.


If that wasn't bad enough, shortly after I had left the gas station, one of my friends went to the very same gas station to use the washroom. Yes indeed, he walked into that washroom, and slipped right in my mess. Hi white silk shirt managed to absorp quite a bit of the liquid shit and it's offending aroma. He didraise a fuss and got a free tank of gas for the ordeal.


He called me later that night, bitching about what happened and how he would like to kick the nast tyson of a bitches ass who had shit on the floor. I told him he should thank me for the free gas instead.

(in reply to thornhappy)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... - 12/28/2009 4:20:06 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: XaviersXian

Hello everyone,

Thank you so much for the read. I've sympathised, laughed, cringed, wanted to comfort (even though the great majority of you are strangers to me) and learned more than I thought I'd ever like to learn about various things.

This thread has reminded me that, regardless of external factors, we are are human, and when all is said and done, we all go through the same basic types of issues.

For some reason that I can't really articulate, reading this thing has made me grateful.

I wish you well.


All human?

Well when I was young I did not believe that The OSmonds did anything so unseemly as go to the bathroom. They were too holy and perfect.

And I still cant picture it.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to XaviersXian)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... - 12/28/2009 4:23:03 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetPoosy

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Dont you just hate when you cough or sneeze and you
leak"?????


Oh lordy! Don't I! Whenever I feel a sneeze or a cough, I tighten up and pray for the best, but with a large fibroid pressing on my bladder, sometimes having the tightest kegel in the world doesn't help! (Believe me, I can damned near snap a dick in half, and if I cough while you are inside, say buh-bye to your best buddy!)Goddess forbid that I get pneumonia or a bad cold, I almost have to wear a diaper...and that just ain't one of this girl's kinks!

i have been know to do the "closed kneed, duck waddle" down the hall to the bathroom after a sneeze LOL


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Profile   Post #: 97
RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... - 12/28/2009 7:02:50 PM   
LeMis


Posts: 9255
Joined: 9/24/2005
From: Florida
Status: offline 		omigosh
that happened this morning just as I was getting ready to leave for work

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Dont you just hate when you cough or sneeze and you
leak"?????


(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... - 12/28/2009 9:20:56 PM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetPoosy

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Dont you just hate when you cough or sneeze and you
leak"?????


Oh lordy! Don't I! Whenever I feel a sneeze or a cough, I tighten up and pray for the best, but with a large fibroid pressing on my bladder, sometimes having the tightest kegel in the world doesn't help! (Believe me, I can damned near snap a dick in half, and if I cough while you are inside, say buh-bye to your best buddy!)Goddess forbid that I get pneumonia or a bad cold, I almost have to wear a diaper...and that just ain't one of this girl's kinks!

i have been know to do the "closed kneed, duck waddle" down the hall to the bathroom after a sneeze LOL



In my house, it's, "ACHooo....DAMNIT!"

A couple of weeks after I had my daughter, I went to the grocery store.  I'm checking out and the cashier asks about the baby, and we start chatting about childbirth, etc. She tells me about her experience and I start to tell her my story.

I realized it was time to end the conversation when I said, "But how come no one told me I'd be peeing in my pants?
Complete and utter silence....


I have to say, I'm sitting here fucking CRYING with laughter at this thread! 


_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

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Profile   Post #: 99
RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... - 12/28/2009 9:46:41 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Ok, this is really bad!
When I was in seventh grade up in Boston we were in the lunchroom me and a bunch of hormone laden buddies of mine and one of them rips out a huge dripping bugger and flips it at a fat kid down the table from us and it lands on his sandwhich about a split second before he put it in his mouth ate it!!!!
We were like "UGGGGGGGGGGH!!!!!!!"
One of my buddies told the fat kid what happened and he turned white and puked on the floor! Gross!!!

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Profile   Post #: 100
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