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Misperceptions of your partner - 3/18/2006 8:28:52 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Next month, my Lord and I will celebrate the first anniversary of our relationship. We knew each other for 6 months before we entered a formal M/s structure and during that time I developed many perceptions of him and him of me. Over the past year, we have come to realize that a few of them were not accurate.

One of the biggest misperceptions that I had about him was that he did not demonstrate emotions much at all and was very serious. However, he actually is very demonstrative of his emotions whether it is happiness, sadness, annoyance or frustration. He also has a very boyish quality that makes life a lot of fun. Alandra describes it as the little boy in the sandbox with all his toys and to me he is so gleeful to be playing with them. It is his inner-child and it is most fun when it comes out with his sadistic side. Play will be full of laughter, tears and screams.

A misperception that he had of me was that I am fragile. He keeps reminding himself that I am not so fragile. It’s a good thing I am not fragile, little boys can be tough on their toys. *g*

So what misperceptions did you have of your partners and how did it impact your relationship?


Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus
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RE: Misperceptions of your partner - 3/18/2006 8:39:26 PM   
Sensualips


Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		Hmm, I once had the perception a particular partner was stable, healthy, and in touch with reality. Unfortunately, I was mistaken. :)

I worked with a woman that I initially perceived as kind, intelligent, and confident - but also a little cool, uptight, and judgmental. After the first week of work I had her pegged as a church-lady. Time demonstrated I was correct on many things, but she was actually pretty insecure. And definitely NOT uptight in the right situation. She was raised Catholic, but rejected organized religion entirely at about 22. Although we no longer work together, she has been one of my best friends for the past four years.

(in reply to kyraofMists)
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RE: Misperceptions of your partner - 3/18/2006 9:00:08 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		Congratulations Knight of Mists & kyra....All i can say about misperceptions is related to my vanilla ex-husband.What I had thought once was a strong,quiet, intelligient man was in truth a insecure,morose,intelligient man.Sometimes perceptions are what you may wish for and think you see in another person.But that is what life is all about ,you learn from the good and the bad..Again..best wishes to you both...be well...Tempting

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RE: Misperceptions of your partner - 3/18/2006 9:27:30 PM   
OscarHargraves


Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline 		Congrats to both of you ! I hope you continue for many more.

The biggest misperception that I had was that I knew exactly what I was doing when I took on my first Sub. Luckily she was new at this too and we learned together.

_____________________________

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

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RE: Misperceptions of your partner - 3/18/2006 9:32:50 PM   
enslavegirl


Posts: 111
Joined: 2/8/2006
Status: offline 		congrads and i do hope Yyou both have many many more happy returns.

i mistook Masters sincere loving kindness for a weakness. wow was i totally wrong on all accounts

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RE: Misperceptions of your partner - 3/19/2006 1:33:05 AM   
scratchingpost


Posts: 231
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		Congratulations on your first milestone...i hope there are many years of exploration to come.

my misconception was that Master's sterness was just to be mean unfeeling hard ass. i learned it was out of care and concern and to be motivating and inspirational. Over time i learned He is absolutely the mst wonderfully caring person i ever met.



_____________________________

be safe and smile
purrrs kitty
(=^.^=)
www.misskittys-scratchingpost.com

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RE: Misperceptions of your partner - 3/19/2006 2:55:57 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sensualips
Hmm, I once had the perception a particular partner was stable, healthy, and in touch with reality. Unfortunately, I was mistaken. :)


That is one we share unfortunatly and a mistake I have made more than once. It is a difficult one to avoid.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

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RE: Misperceptions of your partner - 3/19/2006 4:39:31 AM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		I think one of my misconceptions was..that I would be able to manipulate him...now I know how that sounds...but Im not meaning it in a bad way...just you know....if i wanted something or whatever....persuasion perhaps..or...I dont know..I dont think Im saying this very well....but anyways... I can't.

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RE: Misperceptions of your partner - 3/19/2006 4:55:45 AM   
ScooterTrash


Posts: 1407
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		First off, congrats kyra, aren't anniversaries fun? Most of my misperceptions go back to life in the vanilla lane, although I have had a few unpleasant experiences in the "style" as well. Misreading some folks honesty seems to be an issue, I usually assume they are, I have found this not to always be the case. This is usually regarding not so permanent relationships however, not anything long term, for obvious reasons. As far as Dom/Masters being emotional and sometimes having that inner-child....shhhhhhhhh, no one is supposed to know that part.

_____________________________

Formal symbolic representation of qualitative entities is doomed to its rightful place of minor significance in a world where flowers and beautiful women abound.
-Albert Einstein

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RE: Misperceptions of your partner - 3/19/2006 5:27:26 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

kyra wrote:

Next month, my Lord and I will celebrate the first anniversary of our relationship.


Much congratulations to you both. I enjoy interacting with the both of you here.
quote:

jali wrote:

I think one of my misconceptions was..that I would be able to manipulate him...now I know how that sounds...but Im not meaning it in a bad way...just you know....if i wanted something or whatever....persuasion perhaps..or...I dont know..I dont think Im saying this very well....but anyways... I can't.


Well said, jali *grins*

Misperceptions........oy.......it seems I have those with every person I've ever met....the deeper you get to know someone the more you realize how you did mispercieve something about them, or at least I do....I pride myself on being reasonably bright and sensible, maybe I should start wearing shirts with "Talk slower, you're confusing me" printed on them.

Level

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RE: Misperceptions of your partner - 3/19/2006 5:28:25 AM   
PlayfulOne


Posts: 1047
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

I think one of my misconceptions was..that I would be able to manipulate him...now I know how that sounds...but Im not meaning it in a bad way...just you know....if i wanted something or whatever....persuasion perhaps..or...I dont know..I dont think Im saying this very well....but anyways... I can't.



I know what you mean. My little one has always been able to flirt here way out of things and to get people to do things for her. she had some vague idea that she would be able to bat her eyes and say, "but Daddy" and I would say, "your right maybe I don't really want to hang you upside down from the ceiling fan". Wrong, she still trys (and is is actually so cute) but its usually followed by a look form me and a quick "yes Sir" from her.

Kyra, lol, I had the same misconception here that your Lord had. My lilttle one is rather girly and I always thought she was more fragile physically and emotionally than she is. She amazes me with how strong her spirit and will really are.

K

(in reply to slavejali)
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RE: Misperceptions of your partner - 3/19/2006 9:04:25 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists
So what misperceptions did you have of your partners and how did it impact your relationship?

I originally thought my ex-owner was simply a horn dog looking for fuck every piece of ass he could get his hands on and had no conception of depth and commitment within a relationship.

Oddly enough, I think a lot of people think the same thing about me.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to kyraofMists)
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RE: Misperceptions of your partner - 3/19/2006 9:46:29 AM   
krikket


Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline 		First. kyraoMists and KOM, congrats and best wishes for many more years to come. All couples have their ups and downs, it's only the strong and willing who work through their problems and come out the other side better and more in love than before.

Second...
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sensualips

Hmm, I once had the perception a particular partner was stable, healthy, and in touch with reality. Unfortunately, I was mistaken. :)


i suspect that more than most make this mistake, Sensual, and lord knows it can take it's toll on us. However, those who allow the experience to grow and learn without becoming bitter are blessed.

hugggles
jimini


_____________________________

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

by A. Nin



When your heart speaks take good notes.





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RE: Misperceptions of your partner - 3/19/2006 9:58:42 AM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		To Lucky Albatross...Personally for me,my perception of you,I feel is accurate.I find you to be intelligient,thought provoking,occasionally cynical,but overall I feel you are a person of great caring,I think you are very close to the ones you love,(this is based on the way you talk about your family).I do feel however it takes a lot to win this loyaltyand love from you but once earned it is not thrown away lightly....be well tempting

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RE: Misperceptions of your partner - 3/19/2006 10:02:26 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

To Lucky Albatross...Personally for me,my perception of you,I feel is accurate.I find you to be intelligient,thought provoking,occasionally cynical,but overall I feel you are a person of great caring,I think you are very close to the ones you love,(this is based on the way you talk about your family).I do feel however it takes a lot to win this loyaltyand love from you but once earned it is not thrown away lightly....be well tempting


I echo these thoughts

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Misperceptions of your partner - 3/19/2006 10:06:39 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

I think one of my misconceptions was..that I would be able to manipulate him...now I know how that sounds...but Im not meaning it in a bad way...just you know....if i wanted something or whatever....persuasion perhaps..or...I dont know..I dont think Im saying this very well....but anyways... I can't.



LOL, that is so real and so feminine.............

I know exactly what you are saying.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: Misperceptions of your partner - 3/19/2006 11:34:02 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you for all the congratulations. It has definitely been a fun year.

I neglected to mention my misperception of alandra. My perception of her was that she had the patience of a saint and never got frustrated with our Lord. She has this air of calm acceptance no matter what he throws at her, that you don't realize that her patience isn't limitless. I was so happy to find out I was wrong about that.


Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to kyraofMists)
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RE: Misperceptions of your partner - 3/19/2006 11:56:37 AM   
MyCaptainsPet


Posts: 219
Joined: 1/22/2006
Status: offline 		Congrats to you all..

As for misperceptions, there were some minor ones, but nothing we weren't able to work out quickly..

<edited for clarification>

< Message edited by MyCaptainsPet -- 3/19/2006 11:57:35 AM >

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RE: Misperceptions of your partner - 3/19/2006 12:08:47 PM   
Guest
quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sensualips
Hmm, I once had the perception a particular partner was stable, healthy, and in touch with reality. Unfortunately, I was mistaken. :)


That is one we share unfortunatly and a mistake I have made more than once. It is a difficult one to avoid.


Unfortunatly that is too true...


But congrats Kyra and Knight!
definatly a good thing your not fragile... having had spoken with him I kinda get that idea.
But you were spoken of highly and I wish you both the very best!

As far as mispeceptions go the above quote is the worst one I have the misfortune of repeatedly making.
My current relationship is rapidly showing me that there are in fact actual stable, healthy and people that are in touch with reality... so Im glad I have held out looking for that.

(in reply to MyCaptainsPet)
  Post #: 19
RE: Misperceptions of your partner - 3/19/2006 1:55:26 PM   
MsIncognito


Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline 		Congratulations on this milestone to you, KnightofMists and alandra. I think you guys are three of my most favourite people that I've never met just based on what I've read of you all here on the boards

quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sensualips
Hmm, I once had the perception a particular partner was stable, healthy, and in touch with reality. Unfortunately, I was mistaken. :)


That is one we share unfortunatly and a mistake I have made more than once. It is a difficult one to avoid.


Oh, me three! Fotunately I only need to make a mistake once and then it's not repeated again. I don't think I could handle dealing with that more than once.

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